Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
MERRI
T he singing in my blood as Malice’s lust-filled energy pulsed through me sent me into a euphoric haze I hadn’t experienced, maybe ever. Feeding in person, in the same room, while touching each other was something I’d avoided for so long. I hadn’t associated it with anything other than death and heartbreak.
Until now.
Rolling my head, I studied Malice’s form. He was turned away from me, sprawled on his stomach with his face toward the door.
“I’m not sure what the appropriate etiquette is here. Should I thank you, or...”
He didn’t respond.
Oh no.
Oh fuck.
I sat up, panic clawing away my afterglow.
“Mal,” I whispered, giving his shoulder a shake. “Oh, please don’t be dead.”
A soft snore was his only response.
Oh, thank God.
I wasn’t a two-time murderer, after all. Malice took a deep breath and rolled on his side, murmuring, “The virus’s R 0 is seven. Brilliant, work, I know.”
Was he dreaming about creating a plague?
“Um, have a nice blight, I guess,” I mumbled, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before swinging my legs off the other side of the bed so I could go clean myself up.
Malice’s cum was sticky on my skin, and as much as part of me loved it, I knew I wouldn’t if I walked around with him all over me. Cum was sexy for about two minutes. Then it cooled and congealed and got... weird.
I padded into my bathroom and turned on the faucet, my mind drifting as I waited for the water to warm up. Tonight had been a series of strange and unexpected events, first with the nearly starving thing, then the Grim coming to my rescue part, all to be followed up by a little mutual masturbation with good old Pestilence. I grimaced. No more referring to him by his horseman title. It was decidedly un sexy.
Jesus, he hadn’t given me an STI when he came on me, had he?
Fuck, how would I even check for something like that? Supernaturals were immune as a rule, but he was sort of the most infectious person on the planet so...
The last thing I needed was some sort of super-herpes.
I bet there wasn’t any kind of medication to help manage symptoms.
Shit, I needed to talk to Andi. I was spiraling. I could feel it coming.
Freshly cleaned, I came out of the bathroom and quickly changed into a pair of leggings and a cozy sweatshirt. Malice was still snoring and talking in his sleep, definitely down for the count. That was good. I needed to use this to my advantage because he wouldn’t like what I was about to do.
Andi was the only person I could share any of this with. While she may not be a supernatural, she’d still understand what I was feeling right now and help ground me. She’d had all the sex, multiple times compared to my one-and-done status. I clearly wasn’t prepared for what being intimate with someone in real life would do to me. Physically or mentally.
Was this PTSD?
Fuck, I needed my phone. All it took was a little cum, and I was a disaster. Go figure. Lilith would die of laughter if she could see me now.
With the softest steps known to man, I crept out of my room and down the hall to Mal’s lair. Grim was probably locked in his tower with his plants and storm clouds, for which I was incredibly thankful in this moment. But Sin and Chaos could return at any time, if they hadn’t already. The last thing I needed was for one or more of the Grumpy Gang to find me somewhere I didn’t belong.
I paused outside his room so I could take a centering breath. Technically I wasn’t breaking and entering since the door was already cracked open. So why did I feel like I was about to set off an alarm that would have the horseman running my way prepared for battle in under a second?
Because you know he wouldn’t want you snooping around, and after everything he just shared with you, it feels like a major violation of his trust?
I scowled at that pesky inner voice, muttering, “Shut up. I’m just reclaiming what belongs to me. In and out. Easy peasy.”
Clearly I wasn’t buying what I was selling because my hand was totally trembling as I pushed Mal’s door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. I hadn’t been in here before, and I barely knew the man, but somehow this room felt like him . For starters, his cologne or natural musk or whatever it was filled the air. Right now, all that served to do was make my body react to memories of his ragged breaths and the way he’d grunted as he spilled his seed all over me.
Down, girl .
The room itself was pretty sterile, which was hilarious, all things considered. The bedding was a blend of navy and gray. The wooden bedframe was the same deep color as his desk, which housed a couple of computer monitors, both of them currently dark. Aside from the impressive display of tech, this could’ve been a dorm room for all the personality it didn’t have.
Understanding how private and locked down Malice was, the lack of personality made sense. There was nothing here anyone could use against him. No photos, no trinkets, no potential weakness to exploit.
That worked in my favor. It simply meant fewer places to hide things, like pilfered phones.
Yanking open his desk drawers, I rifled through each one, finding nothing more than pens, sticky notes, a few random cables that must’ve gone to his electronics, and a headset or three. Boring, and not at all what I wanted.
With a huff, I spun around and eyed his closet, thinking that maybe there might be a secret stash or safe of some kind hidden at the back. I opened the door, and another wave of his scent accosted me. I had to ignore the flutters it set off in my lower belly.
Not the time, Meredith.
A cursory search revealed nothing beyond a startling amount of flannel and dark hoodies. Maybe when this was over, he’d let me take him shopping for a wardrobe refresh?
I shook my head. Once this was over, he’d be long gone. They’d be rid of me.
“If I were a sneaky horseman of the apocalypse, where would I hide my captive’s phone?” I murmured, narrowing my eyes as I scanned the room.
All that remained were the bed and a nightstand. The nightstand was way too obvious. He definitely wouldn’t hide a contraband item there. But maybe under the bed?
Dropping to my knees, I crouched low so I could peer under the footboard. Besides a few stray dust bunnies, there was nothing to find.
Under the mattress, then?
I was more than a little sweaty and breathing hard when I finished checking under both the box spring and the king-size pillow-topped mattress. Hell, I even stuck my hands inside the pillowcases to make sure he hadn’t squirreled it away in there.
Nothing.
Sighing, I sat down on the bed in defeat before making a last-ditch effort and pulling open the nightstand drawer. And there it was, plugged in and everything.
Well, fuck. I wasn’t sure what that said about Malice and his thoughts about me. Was he not worried about me finding my phone? Did he think I didn’t have the lady balls to try? Or was I supposed to find it?
My hand hovered over the slim device, wondering if this was some sort of trap.
Didn’t matter. If it was, there’s not much more these men could take from me anyway. I’d rather risk it so I could talk to Andi than fear the repercussions. Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.
Snatching the phone, I unplugged it and tapped the screen, surprised when it woke up and I saw the passcode had been disabled. Had he been snooping? Of fucking course he had.
I sighed, knowing there wasn’t a whole lot to find. I kept all my X-rated content on my computer. My phone was strictly for chatting with the handful of friends I’d managed to keep over the years and Lilith. Not really titillating stuff.
I tapped open my messaging app, my eyes widening when I saw that there were multiple threads that showed activity within the last few days. And I didn’t mean unread messages. I meant responses. From me.
“You sneaky shit,” I growled, clicking open my thread with Andi.
Andi:
Hello, gorgeous. I’m back, refreshed, and can’t wait to hear how you’ve been doing.
Andi:
um... j’scuse it’s been hours. Where are you?
I rolled my eyes at her made-up French but kept reading as her messages continued.
Andi:
Ma’am. Are you alive? You haven’t logged into the site in days. Do I need to send out a search party?
Andi:
I’d take your silence personally, except you haven’t even seen my messages yet.
Andi:
Merri, it’s not funny. You don’t have your location on. I can’t even find you if you’ve been abducted and murdered.
Me:
I’m fine. Just need some space.
Anger simmered in my veins upon seeing the reply I most definitely did not send. If this jerk cost me the only close friend I had, I was going to tear him a new asshole.
Panic clutched my chest as I realized if he had access to my phone, that meant he might have done irreparable damage to my client list as well. Even though Andi said I hadn’t logged into the site, there was still the possibility Malice had opened my private message app linked to that account. Sure, I had it hidden in a special secret folder on my phone, but he’d already hacked me.
I couldn’t afford to alienate any of my regulars. Even though I wasn’t allowed to cam currently, eventually I’d go back, and I needed them to be there when I did. It was quite literally a matter of life and death. I had to be able to feed regularly. Who knew how long Malice’s top-up would last? I couldn’t count on the boys to see to me, and I’d barely made it three days without my camming.
Frantic, I opened the app and logged in, sagging in relief as I saw all of my messages appeared unread.
There were two from OriginalSin. Just flirty notes that suggested we schedule another session. But ShyGuy25 was more insistent.
ShyGuy25:
Good morning, beautiful. Hope you have a great day!
ShyGuy25:
You didn’t have a stream tonight. Hope you’re feeling okay. Would it be stalkery if I said I missed you?
I usually replied to him rapidly when he reached out. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I enjoyed his attention. Guilt gnawed at me for my silence, even though it hadn’t been intentional on my part.
ShyGuy25:
Merri, are you okay? Did I do something to upset you?
ShyGuy25:
It’s been days. I’m getting worried. If I said something that made you uncomfortable, I’m really sorry.
It was the last one, though, that really got to me.
ShyGuy25:
Okay, I get it. You don’t want to talk to me. I’ll stop messaging you. But I really do hope you’re okay.
Oh, fuck. Poor Cole. He didn’t deserve this. He was kind and caring, and in another life, if we’d met in person and I wasn’t a man-eating succubus, I’d definitely have given him a chance.
Merri-go-round:
I’m so sorry, Cole. I’m here. I was super sick with food poisoning and couldn’t get out of bed.
I was such a fucking liar, but what else could I say? I’ve been taken by the four horsemen and am being held hostage while they protect me from some big bad who wants to use me to get back at my aunt for trying to ruin the apocalypse. It was a little wordy.
There was no icon next to his name to show he was online, but I was still disappointed when my message remained unread.
I still needed to set things right with Andi, though, so I closed out of the app and returned to my text messages. I was about to type out a reply when I realized that this was not a text situation. This was a hit-the-call-button situation.
My heart lodged itself in my throat as I listened to the rings.
“Please, please, please,” I chanted, about to give up hope when the fifth ring was interrupted by Andi’s dry, unamused voice.
“Does this mean you’ve gotten enough space?”
“Andi,” I breathed, my relief that she’d answered so intense I was lightheaded.
“I was worried about you, you know? And then that’s how you respond? You need space.”
I could hear the air quotes on the last word in her tone. “I’m sorry. Really. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, I just...”
Once again, I couldn’t reveal the actual truth, and I was pretty sure the food poisoning excuse was out, so all I could do was stay as close as possible to the truth and apologize. Even though I wasn’t the one to do it, she still had gotten hurt. And for that, I really was sorry.
“I’m really sorry. There was a break-in at my place and I had to lay low for a few days. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone while they were... investigating.”
“Oh my God! Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”
“No, no. I’m fine. Promise. Just some damage to the place. And with what we do, I had to make sure there weren’t any rogue clients after me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the lies pouring out of my mouth even though they weren’t that far from the truth.
“Ugh, fucking stalkers. I get it. I had one once. He thought he was God’s gift to the world. Do you need somewhere to stay? I can make up my couch.”
“No, I’m okay. Staying with some local friends for the time being.” Andi didn’t know I was in London and now didn’t really seem like the time to mention it.
“Are they hot friends? Male friends? Big, strong, strapping protective types?”
If we were on a video call—which she loathed —I knew I’d see her brows waggling.
I let out a little laugh. “How did you know?”
“Because the first thing I’d do after a break-in is find myself a bodyguard or two.”
I almost said, how about four , but heavy footsteps in the hall stopped me. “Oh, call waiting! It might be the investigator. Call you later!”
Hanging up before she could get another word out, I shoved my phone into the pocket of my hoodie and stood, trying and failing to look innocent as the door swung open.
Chaos stood in the doorway, a scowl on his ruggedly handsome face. I was so busted. But at least it wasn’t Malice staring me down right now.
The horseman crossed his arms over his chest and leveled his gaze on me. “Start talking, Red.”