Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
E than
I walk into my bedroom with a large bag under my arm and an ice-cold drink in my hand. When I glance at the couch, Lily is sitting with her gaze fixed on the TV. The ice pack is notably resting on the coffee table with drops of condensation forming around it.
My instinct is to tell her to put it on her left wrist, but that can wait. I don’t want to remind her of what happened today when she looks so peaceful.
I stride over to the couch and set the bag on top of the coffee table. “Did you pick out a movie?”
“Not yet.” A playful gleam appears in her eyes as I sit down beside her. “I’ve been trying to find something torturous for you—which, as you know, is my favorite pastime—but I have no idea where to start. First, I looked for a boring black and white French film, but then I thought you might like that. You’re all about improving your mind, so maybe you like intellectual, artsy movies.”
My stomach sinks at her words. I do strive to improve my mind, but it’s never bothered me before. Until this moment, I’ve never felt so much like a stereotypical wellness gym rat.
Do I even have a favorite movie? I can’t remember the last time I watched one all the way through. I usually spend my evenings looking at replays of our latest game, critiquing my own performance.
I try to smile, but it feels more like a grimace. “I can assure you that I don’t spend the little time I have watching boring French movies. My favorite movie is Remember the Titans ,” I lie, choosing the only movie I’ve seen more than once.
Here I am, creating a personality to please a girl who claims I don’t have one.
What has gotten into me?
“I hate sports movies,” Lily says with a frown. “I’ve seen every single one, thanks to Noah, and they’re all the same. Will they win the big game of the season? Spoiler alert, they will, and I’ll have to suffer through all their whining until they finally pull it off. And the romance will suck, because the female lead’s life will completely revolve around the star athlete.” She cringes. “There is no universe in which I’d pick a sports movie.”
“What would be the point of picking one? Your goal is to torture me.”
Her eyes probe into mine as she sets her hand on my arm. The small touch sends a ripple of electricity over my skin.
Fuck, I really can’t let her touch me. I’ll need to discreetly scoot myself to the other end of this couch when she isn’t looking
“I just thought of a movie,” she says, “and I hate to admit it, but I’m really hoping it won’t be torture for you. It’s my favorite of all time.”
I lean toward her, genuinely curious. I’ve known her for over two years, but since I’ve kept my distance, I don’t know much about her. “What is it?”
“ Jurassic Park .”
I chuckle, mostly at the delight in learning something I never would have predicted. “ That’s your favorite movie?”
She scowls. “How dare you laugh? It’s a perfect movie. Two hours long without a single boring moment.”
Warmth fills my chest. “Without a single boring moment.” How quintessentially Lily. Of course, Jurassic Park would be her favorite movie.
What is it about this wild girl that calls to something deep inside me? Is it because she’s my polar opposite? If I’m a joy vacuum, she’s the sunshine that warms every shadow.
What the fuck? What a sappy thought. My recent fixation with her is making me crazy.
I clear my throat. “You’d better start the movie soon if you want me to stay awake the whole time.”
She scoffs. “Try falling asleep during the T-Rex chase scene. I dare you.”
Hours later, we’re sitting on the couch with empty bags littered over the coffee table. Tiny crumbs are scattered over the wood. My hands have been itching to pick up the trash and wipe down the table, but Lily hasn’t even glanced at it. I doubt she ever thinks about cleaning during her leisure time. She’s not wired the way I am.
I won’t clean it until after she leaves. I’m letting go, which apparently means resisting my instinct to wipe up chip crumbs.
Epic music plays over the stream of credits drifting up the screen. Lily hasn’t acknowledged that the movie is over. In fact, her breathing is soft and rhythmic. Hasn’t it been that way for a while now?
I twist around and see that her face is resting against the arm of the couch. When I lean forward, I see her eyes are closed and her mouth is open.
Holy shit. She’s asleep. Sound asleep by the looks of it.
My stomach flips over. I stand up from the couch as quietly as I can, exhilaration pumping through my veins. This is a big deal. A really big deal.
Or maybe I’m making too much of this. With as little sleep as she’s been getting recently, she was bound to pass out eventually from sheer exhaustion.
So why do I feel like a king?
She told me she hasn’t been able to sleep because of anxiety, and I’m now almost certain it has something to do with Mason. I was somehow able to make that anxiety go away, even after he grabbed her wrists today.
I think she’s starting to trust me.
I’m pulled back into the present when a door slams, and loud voices from downstairs filter into my room.
Apprehension jolts within me as I glance at Lily. Her fiery hair spills over the side of the couch like a blanket. That full mouth of hers is wider now, and a faint snoring sound echoes through the room. It’s fucking adorable.
I’ll be damned if I let anyone wake her.
I rush out of my room and down the stairs. When I get to the bottom floor, a group of my frat brothers are standing around our beer pong table.
“Keep your voices down,” I command as softly as I can. “I have a girl over, and she’s sleeping.”
When their eyes grow huge, I want to wince. I wish I had thought more before I phrased it that way.
“You have a girl over?” Damian nearly shouts, and I shush him. “Is Ethan finally getting laid?”
“I hate to tell you this, Ethan,” Aiden says, “but if she’s asleep, you’re doing something wrong.”
I roll my eyes. “Or maybe I did something right, Aiden. Maybe you’ve never seen a girl sleep after sex because you don’t know where the clitoris is located.”
When “Oh’s” break out throughout the room, I want to kick myself. What possessed me to clap back at Aiden? My brothers’ relentless teasing over my virginity has never bothered me before.
But this is Lily, and somehow, the idea of boring her to sleep during sex doesn’t sit well, which is stupid. I would never, ever have sex with her.
“Do not repeat what I just said,” I command the room. “This girl is…like a little sister to me.”
The words taste like ash in my mouth. I wish I hadn’t even said them, but it’s not fair to Lily to have people thinking we slept together because of my careless words.
And I wouldn’t want it getting back to Noah.
When the guys have finally quieted down to my liking, I make my way back to my bedroom. Lily is in the exact same position as I left her.
Shit. Her hands are curled up underneath her head, and she’s probably so exhausted she doesn’t even feel the pain in her wrists. I can’t let her sleep like that much longer.
I should move her to my bed. It could wake her, but it would be worth the risk.
You want to hold her, Ethan. Don’t lie to yourself.
It doesn’t matter what I want. Even if my hands are twitching with the need to touch her, this is about what she needs. Her wrists will probably be blue and purple by tomorrow, and I can’t let her injure them further.
After bending down, I carefully slip one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders. She stirs slightly, murmuring something incoherent. A smile rises to my lips.
I lift her gently and pull her against my chest. Her little breaths tickle my neck, and the warmth of her body seeps into mine.
Fuck, this feels good. Why does it have to feel so good?
When I reach my bed, I lay her down and tuck my comforter around her. She curls up instinctively and shifts around until she’s lying on her side.
Unable to help myself, I reach out and stroke her hair from her face with the lightest of touches. Fuck, it’s so soft. Even silkier than it looks.
I stand here for a long while staring at her, my feet feeling leaden. What is this strange prickling at the back of my neck? The sight of her snuggled in my bed is unsettling in a way I can’t quite articulate. My chest aches as an electrifying tingle runs over my skin.
Then it hits me.
I want to be in that bed with her. In the moment, it feels like I’d sacrifice everything for it, including my whole religion.
Shit. Where did that blasphemous thought come from?