Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
E than
I love watching her brush her teeth.
She dances around the small kitchenette in my room with a frazzled energy. Her red hair is pulled up in a high bun that bobs back and forth with every fierce brush.
I have to stop myself from chuckling, not wanting to swallow my own toothpaste. She’s so unapologetically herself. Even when brushing her teeth, she’s bubbly and vivacious.
After only thirty seconds, Lily leans forward, spits into the sink, and grabs a towel to pat her face dry.
“That wasn’t two minutes,” I say, trying to sound stern but failing to hide the amusement in my voice.
Lily rolls her eyes dramatically, tossing the towel onto the counter. “Do you actually time yourself brushing your teeth?”
“I do. And I timed you. What else would you expect from a joy vacuum?”
“Ethan, stop. You’re making me feel sorry for you.” She steps closer and pokes me in the ribs. Her touch sends a jolt through me. As I watch her make her way over to my bed in those Spiderman pajama pants with her oversized Hawks T-shirt, my chest swells with an emotion I can’t quite name.
We just got ready for bed together, and there was something so natural about it, like we’ve been doing it for years.
What is it about this girl that makes my heart so light?
It’s as if she’s a breath of fresh air, clearing away the cobwebs of my self-imposed constraints. When I’m with her, I find myself laughing more, relaxing into the moment instead of worrying about what comes next.
Strange, since she always used to drive me crazy.
Then again, I never allowed myself to be this close to her. Something about her always felt dangerous, like if I gave in to her energy, I’d lose control, be swept away in her whirlwind.
She crawls into my bed, the flickering candlelight casting soft shadows on her face. She pulls the covers up around her before nestling into the pillows. Possessiveness clenches my gut, along with a primal urge to crawl into that bed with her.
It’s probably left over from the heat of jealousy that swept through my body when she told me she got a text from Jake. I couldn’t help wondering what it was about. Were they flirting? Did he ask her on a date?
I don’t want to think about it, so I distract myself by walking around the room and blowing out each candle one by one. The space gradually darkens, and the shadows grow longer until only the soft glow of the last candle remains.
I take a deep breath and blow out the final one, plunging the room into darkness. The only light now is the faint glow from the streetlights outside filtering through the curtains.
What would it be like to share the darkness with her? The whole world would be heat and skin and her delicious scent. My chest swells again, but the feeling behind it no longer eludes me.
Longing. There’s no other word for it.
And there’s nothing that can be done about it. She’s off-limits, and I’m saving myself for my future wife.
I let out a deep sigh as I make my way to the couch. It’s so tiny that I have to curl up, bending my legs awkwardly to fit. I’m in for a long night of restless sleep, just like last night. It’s okay, even if my physical and mental clarity suffer for it over the next week. Helping Lily is the greater good.
Blankets rustle on the other end of the room. “Ethan,” Lily says, “there’s no way you’re sleeping like that.”
“I’m fine. I slept here last night.”
“Did you sleep well?”
I fight the urge to groan. I’m not going to lie to her, but I can evade the question. “It’s only for a week.”
She snorts. “You’re what, six-four? You can’t fit on that thing. We’re switching.”
“No, we’re not. And if you don’t stop mouthing off to your coach, I’ll make you do push-ups when you wake up.”
“Stop with the coach bullshit. I won’t be able to sleep knowing you’re curled up like a cannonball on that couch.”
“Lily, I’m fine. Seriously. Don’t worry about me.” I flip to my back and let my legs hang over the armrest.”
“Oh my God,” Lily exclaims. “No. You’re not sleeping like that. In fact, you’re getting in bed with me.”
Shock vibrates through me, and heat rushes into my gut. Damn her for tempting me like this. I swallow hard, trying to regain control. “No,” I say firmly. “That’s not a good idea.”
“Uh-oh. Is the big guy scared?”
I smile, a bit of the tension releasing from my shoulders. Somehow, she’s always able to lighten me up, even when I’m wound tighter than a spring.
Would it really be so bad to share a bed with her? I do need sleep. For all I know, my sleeplessness last night might have contributed to my abysmal performance on the field tonight. Coach won’t be happy with me if I slack off tomorrow at practice. Besides, I would never cross a line. Lily trusts me, and I won’t betray that trust. It’s just a bed, just a few hours of sleep. Nothing more.
“Ethan,” Lily drawls my name. “Am I so irresistible that you’re afraid you won’t be able to keep your hands off me?”
Her taunt snaps me into action. I leap off the couch and stride over to the bed. “Alright, fine. But no funny business, Greenwood.”
She giggles. “Funny business. Oh my God, Ethan. You’re fucking adorable.”
Adorable. I don’t think she’s ever called me that before, but how many times have I thought it about her? Warmth spreads through me.
The instant I’m under the blankets, the warm feeling builds into a searing heat. Her scent—something floral and uniquely Lily—immediately envelops me, rushing through my senses. I’m not even touching her, but the heat of her body radiates toward me.
Oh, no.
This was a mistake.
I clench my jaw, trying to ignore the rush of sensations. The bed is too small, the air too thick. I lie stiffly on my back, staring at the ceiling, every muscle in my body tensed as if ready to spring away.
“Are you happy now?” I ask, striving for lightness.
She giggles again, the sound sweet and musical. “I can’t believe that actually worked.”
“Of course it worked. You pulled the age-old tactic of asking if I’m scared. I had to prove I’m a man. Obviously.”
“A big, strong man.” Her soft hand settles on my arm, and my whole body grows as tight as a clenched fist.
“Lily, please don’t do that.”
“What?” She sounds genuinely confused.
I try to keep my voice gentle. “Please don’t touch me.”
She jerks her hand back, and shame fills my gut. It’s not her fault that she’s tempting me, and I embarrassed her.
“I know you were only teasing, but you have to understand…”
She swallows. “What?”
I can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t dare look at her. Instead, I focus on the faint glow from the streetlights filtering through the curtains.
“You’re a beautiful girl, and your touch is… It’s too much. Do you understand?”
She’s quiet for a long while, and I try to retreat into my head to escape my growing anxiety.
“I do,” she eventually says, and a jolt rushes through me.
Is she hinting that she wants me too? God, help me. If she does, I don’t know how I’ll resist her.