Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
L ily
I’m surrounded by warmth. Strong arms are wrapped around my body, and a steady heartbeat thumps against my back. As I nuzzle deeper, the soft rhythm of breathing lulls me back into the darkness.
I jerk awake, gasping as the realization dawns. It’s not just blankets tangled around me, but Ethan’s arms too.
That’s right. I goaded him into sharing this bed, and now we’re cuddling.
And that’s not all.
Something big and hard is pressing against my lower back. Heat pools in my belly. For one irrational moment, I relax against his chest and revel in his warmth.
I need to pull away. Ethan already told me that my touch is too much. His principles are strict—the lines of right and wrong drawn firmly in the sand. I don’t want to betray him by enjoying the warmth of his body when he doesn’t even know what he’s doing.
As gently as I can, I try to wriggle out of his arms. I freeze when he stirs and mumbles something incoherent. A moment later, he draws me back against his chest, his grip firm and unyielding. His deep inhale tugs at my hair, as if he’s savoring my scent.
I’m startled when his hand drifts downward and creeps around my hips. His rough fingers slip underneath my pajama shirt, settling on my belly. Fingers spread wide, pressing me closer still.
Oh fuck. His touch feels damn good. Pressure builds in my tummy, sending electricity into my thighs.
His lips graze my head, and he hums.
I swallow hard. The one thing I want to do right now is slip my fingers into my panties and ease this unbearable ache.
Instead, I lie as stiff as a board for what feels like an eternity. Eventually, the tension starts to seep out of my body as the rhythmic cadence of his breathing lulls my racing thoughts. A soothing wave of calm settles over me.
I’m safe here in his arms.
A moment later, I’m floating, untethered and serene, as I drift back into the darkness.
“Get up, Lily. I already gave you an extra ten minutes. I have to go do my workout now.”
I groan, the sound muffled by my pillow. He gave me ten extra minutes? I don’t even remember waking up. My head is fuzzy and quiet. The desire for more sleep is like a boulder in my head, pulling me down, down…
“Up! You can’t sleep more than eight hours. We’re training your body to sleep at a certain time.”
“Got it. Five more minutes.”
His rumble of laughter warms me. “Okay, I’ll let you cheat this morning, but that’s it. I’ll give you until I get back from my workout. Forty-five minutes. Deal?”
“Deal,” I mumble, my mind already drifting back into the dark haze.
In what feels like seconds later, Ethan’s voice pierces into my skull. “Alright, sleepy girl. No more excuses. If you’re not up in thirty seconds, I’m pouring cold water on your face.”
I whimper. “There’s no way that was forty-five minutes. You’re a liar.”
“That’s no way to talk to your coach.”
There’s a rustle at my feet, and a moment later, the heavy blanket is gone, and cold air hits my skin. “You asshole!”
With monumental effort, I pry my eyes open and push myself into a sitting position. The room swims into focus, revealing Ethan by the kitchenette. God, he looks like a giant next to that tiny counter.
The memory of last night hits me suddenly—the warmth of his body and those rough fingers slipping under my shirt.
Goddamn. He probably doesn’t even remember.
And I won’t be able to forget.
He grabs a cup from the small cupboard, his movements smooth and sure. His hair is damp, the normally sandy-brown strands looking almost black. He pours some white powder into a glass of water.
“What are you making?” I ask.
“Protein shake.”
My nose wrinkles. “That’s not what I would call a shake. Why don’t you blend some fruit with it?”
He shrugs. “Too much work. I’m used to the taste now.”
He stirs a spoon in the glass until the powder dissolves into a cloudy mixture, and I want to gag as he gulps it down.
Gross. I can’t watch this any longer.
I push myself off the bed and walk to the duffel bag in the corner of Ethan’s room. After pulling out a pair of jeans and a tank top, I glance back at Ethan. He’s gulping down the last clump of powder at the bottom of the glass. Bile rises at the back of my throat. “Ethan, oh my God. Why would you drink something so disgusting?”
He stares at me for a long moment, as if considering his answer. He sets the glass down on the counter with a clunk and then grabs the hem of his shirt. In one fluid motion, he peels his shirt over his head and drops it to the floor. His torso is a canvas of ripples and grooves.
Good God. He has muscles I never even knew existed, like those ridges on his shoulders. I love a man’s shoulders. They’re an underrated body part. Ethan’s are so big and wide, like a warrior’s.
Liquid warmth rushes into my belly, and my cheeks grow warm. Distantly, I register the smirk on his face as I stand here gawking at him. I need to say something snarky. That’s what he would expect.
I can’t. My brain is mush.
I think he might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“That’s why,” Ethan says with a smirk. He retrieves his shirt from the floor and slips it back over his head.
His cockiness knocks me out of my daze.
When his gaze returns to mine, I pout. “Ethan, I’m so sorry.”
His frown is questioning, and I want to draw out his suspense. I saunter over to the counter and lean my hip against it. He stares at me, his expression growing baffled. I set my hand on his muscular arm. “I had no idea you were craving my attention. I’ve neglected you, huh? It’s been over twenty-four hours since I last told you how handsome you are. Just ask me next time you’re feeling insecure. I’m here for you, big guy.”
His eyelids flutter, though his lips are quirking. “And here I thought I could embarrass you for a change. What the hell was I thinking?”
I giggle. “I don’t know. You should know by now that I’m unembarrassable.”
He lifts his hand and pokes my nose with his finger. “My sassy girl.”
My heart skips a beat. I guess that’s his new nickname for me. “Sassy girl,” I say softly. “That’s kind of cute.”
“Yeah?” His voice is raspy. Those dark eyes grow hooded, and he bites his bottom lip. He takes a step forward, closing the space between us. The room seems to shrink, and the air thickens.
My breath catches in my throat. His hand moves slowly, hesitantly, to brush a stray lock of hair behind my ear. The little touch sends a shiver down my spine. His face inches closer, and his breath brushes over my skin.
He pulls back suddenly, shattering the moment.
Goddamn him.
Just kiss me you obsessive, infuriating control freak.
After clearing his throat, his gaze returns to mine. “So I wanted to ask you something…”
I frown. “What?”
“Last night, when we were in bed together…” He scratches the back of his head, his cheeks darkening. “I feel like I might have… I had a dream that I was…”
A wicked thrill courses through me. So he does remember holding me last night, if only vaguely.
And I’m going to punish him for teasing me with that near kiss.
“What?” I ask innocently.
He shuts his eyes and lets out a heavy sigh. “I think I might have…cuddled with you.”
I wince. “Oh no, Ethan. Do you really think so? Cuddling…” I shake my head. “That’s really bad. A terrible sin, I think. Do you need to call your brother and have him…pour some holy water on you or something?”
His expression grows so comically exasperated that I burst into laughter. It echoes through the room, and Ethan only stands there rolling his eyes.
“Holy water,” he scoffs. “You know nothing about protestant Christianity. No, I wasn’t bringing it up because of my religion, but because of you.”
I wave a hand. “Why would a wild girl like me stress about a little cuddling?”
His frown is incredulous. “I meant because of…Mason. He assaulted you. I thought maybe you wouldn’t…want to be touched by a guy after that.”
Holy shit.
An ethereal sensation wraps around me, making the world around me buzz and blur. I just spent the night in bed with a man. Not only that, but he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly when I tried to move away.
But my body wasn’t afraid. I didn’t even think about Mason once.
Because I was lying in Ethan’s arms, and Ethan isn’t Mason. The two are as different as bubblegum and thunderclouds.
Ethan is safe.
I swallow. “Last night was different. I trust you.”
His eyes widen minutely. He stares at me for a long moment, as if trying to puzzle out my words. Then the corners of his mouth lift, and a slow, radiant smile breaks across his face. “I’m glad.” His voice is breathless.
My cheeks warm at his sudden intensity. Shouldn’t it be a given that I trust him? He’s the most principled person I know.
“When is your first class?” he asks.
I frown. “At noon. Why?”
He grins. “Mine is at one. Why don’t we head to campus together and grab an early lunch?”
My tummy flips over. It feels like he’s asking me on a date, even though I know that’s not the case.
But I wouldn’t mind if he did. It’s time to finally admit to myself why I’ve been drawn to Ethan Harrington all these years, even when I told myself he drove me nuts.
It was a crush. One that I tried to suppress because Lily Greenwood doesn’t chase after guys who don’t like her back.
After getting to know him better, it’s become so much more than a crush.
I trust this man. I know in my soul he would upend the whole world to shield me from harm. Because he has integrity.
It’s a quality I underrated until that night with Mason.