9. Xander
CHAPTER 9
XANDER
RAIN – GRANDSON she didn’t ruin his life. But some damn loyalty wouldn’t go amiss after all we’ve done for him. My sick fascination aside, Ripley Bennet is bad news for us all.
Eyeing us warily, Ripley approaches then ducks to look at Raine’s slumped form. “I thought his fever had broken.”
“You knew he was like this?” Lennox glowers at her.
“You didn’t know that your friend was going through withdrawal?” she hits back. “Maybe he’d be better off without you.”
Moaning under his breath, I watch as Raine leans into her touch. She’s cupping his cheek, brushing sweat aside as she inspects him.
Last I’d heard, Raine stood by while Ripley and Lennox beat the shit out of each other. Seems I’m working on outdated information.
“Take your filthy fucking hands off him,” Lennox warns in a low voice.
Ripley straightens and steps back. “What has he been taking?”
“Raine isn’t your concern.”
“Because you’re taking such good care of him?” she replies dryly.
“He never went through this shit when we were in charge!”
Lennox is a hair’s breadth from choking her to death. I can see his palms twitching with the urge to close the kill while he has a chance. I’d enjoy seeing him try, but since he adopted Raine into our ranks, the kid is my responsibility.
“H,” I answer. “That’s his thing.”
“He shoots up?” Surprise pulls at her features.
“Used to. Now just pills.”
Rubbing her bottom lip, she seems to do some mental math. “Anything else?”
“How long have you got?” Lennox grumbles. “If it feels good, he’ll pop it or snort it.”
Enraged storm clouds invade her gaze. “You used to sell to him.”
“We were just doing our jobs,” Lennox combats. “I controlled his intake personally. We’re the only reason he hasn’t overdosed and killed himself already.”
Ripley shakes her head, setting loose several tight curls. “One day, you’re going to feel every ounce of pain you’ve inflicted. I’ll damn well make sure of it.”
“Who supplies Harrowdean’s drug market?” I point out.
Her brown and green eyes dart up to me, narrowed defensively. “I haven’t sold to Raine.”
“But you have others. How much pain has precious, perfect Ripley inflicted, I wonder?”
From the gritting of her teeth, I know I’ve found a sore spot. How fascinating. Old Ripley never would’ve had the stomach for the role she now plays. That mousy, scared little thing was happy to hide behind her friend from the moment she arrived.
It gives me a pleasant thrill to imagine that we made her into this person—selfish, monstrous, capable of such cruel indifference. For every last drop of blood she’s shed, our memories must have haunted her. The torture never ceased, no matter how far she ran.
“I can help him,” she eventually announces. “But not here.”
“He doesn’t need your kind of help.” Lennox puts a defensive hand on Raine’s chest. “We need to get him clean, once and for all.”
“The doctors are more likely to get rid of him than waste their time on a detox.” Ripley quickly dismisses him. “He’ll be discharged back to rehab.”
“No!” Raine whimpers.
“Or end up somewhere worse.” Her hazel eyes darken. “I’ve seen nuisance patients be admitted to the Z wing before.”
Tales of the Z wing are told in whispers between the few who know about it. Even then, what happens there remains a myth. I don’t know if Harrowdean works the same as Priory Lane, but from what I’ve heard, every institute under the care of Incendia Corporation has a Zimbardo wing.
Though few of us have actually seen it and lived to tell the tale. The Z wing program is a well-kept secret, hidden in the shadows that engulf the institute. Flashes of disjointed memories quickly overwhelm me.
The sharp bite of hypodermic needles. Chafing handcuffs. Ice-cold bathtubs of water. Padded cells. Scratch marks. Bloodstains. Screams and pleas for mercy. The Z wing is no place for humans. I suppose that’s why none ever come out.
“P-Please,” Raine begs, lifting his head long enough to look at her. “I’ll take… anything.”
Ignoring Lennox’s violent cursing, Ripley locks eyes with me. Her visible anguish is so enticing, I’m actually hard at the sight of how much this decision is fucking with her head.
She doesn’t want to hurt Raine, but in this fucked up world, all any of us know is pain. The suffering we inflict on others to lessen our own anguish. Love exchanged in droplets of spilt blood.
Jaw locked, I nod once.
She purses her lips and nods back.
“Let’s get him to his room,” I instruct, shifting his weight back onto me. “Take his other arm, Nox.”
“We are not working with this cunt!” he seethes.
“Then go. I’ll do it myself.”
“Xan.” Lennox drops his voice. “She cannot be trusted.”
“You think I don’t know that? You adopted the fucker. He’s our responsibility. Right now, she’s a temporary solution.”
“She wants to punish us! For all we know, she’ll poison Raine to do it.”
“If it’s any reassurance.” Ripley’s snarky voice chips in. “I did warn Raine that I’d kill him to get to you. But that doesn’t mean I plan to do it like this. I have some tact.”
Thick brows raising, Lennox stares at me as if to say see?
“Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” I pin the devil in question with a long, hard stare. “Harm him and you’ll join your pathetic friend in the afterlife.”
With an eye roll, she gestures for us to follow her. Lennox winds Raine’s arm around his shoulders. We move slowly, towing him out of the music room. Thankfully, classes are still in full swing. There’s no one to witness our predicament.
As we approach the reception, other patients start to appear. Most avert their eyes when they see Ripley leading us, not daring to question the semi-conscious patient we’re dragging along.
“Guard,” Lennox warns under his breath.
Ripley doesn’t even hesitate. “It’s fine.”
Aiming for the staircase that leads to the residential wing, we quickly gain the attention of the guard standing watch. His blue eyes widen as he takes in the scene, a hand moving to rest atop the baton strapped to his hip.
“Ripley? What’s going on?”
She stops at the foot of the stairs, waving for us to pass. “It’s fine, Langley.”
“But—”
“Everything is under control.”
Some silent message passes between them. Who the fuck is this guy? I don’t like the way he’s looking at Ripley like she’s his to protect from us. I’ll gladly rip out his spine and shove it down his throat.
Grumbling, Langley backs off and returns to his post. He refuses to take his eyes off Ripley though, even as she passes us and resumes leading the way upstairs. Definitely some spine ripping needed to wipe that puppy dog look off his face.
“Friend of yours?” I snark coldly.
She tosses a glower over her shoulder. “I don’t have any of those.”
“How much did he pay you to fuck him, then?” Lennox laughs.
“Not everyone is desperate like you.”
“You little bi?—”
His next word cut off by the sound of Raine groaning, Lennox settles for a death glare instead. We fall into stony silence until we reach the sixth floor.
“Where is your room?” I ask curtly.
Ripley scoffs. “Like I’d tell you that. I’ll bring the goods to you.”
“What do you think we’re going to do? Break in and smother you in your sleep?” Lennox asks incredulously.
“I wouldn’t put it past you. And frankly, it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve eliminated the competition.”
“Fine,” I cut in. “Room forty-four.”
She rushes off to head back down the stairs. Lennox turns his displeased stare on me as I watch her go, that tight ass shaking with each step, begging for the privilege of my handprint.
“You need to get a fucking grip, Xan. She isn’t some little experiment for you to toy with and discard when you’re done. That woman wants our heads on stakes, and she has the means to do it.”
“I’m aware.”
“You’re aware? The fuck does that mean?”
Wrestling Raine towards his room, I huff out a breath. “Let me worry about Ripley.”
“Let you fuck her into submission, right?” he snorts. “If that’s what you call whatever you do with people.”
“By the time I’m done with her, she will no longer be a concern. Let’s leave it at that.”
“Jesus. Sometimes you’re legitimately insane.”
Lennox fishes the keycard from Raine’s jeans pocket then unlocks the door so we can escape inside. His room is neatly organised by necessity. Nothing is out of place or in disarray.
Raine has to know exactly where everything is, down to the precise steps it takes to reach furniture or doors. We deposit him on the bed then study our violently shaking friend.
This is the worst he’s been in a long time. Supply issues are inevitable, but we’ve never let him get this far into the withdrawal process before.
“Here.” Lennox returns from the bathroom with a wet washcloth. “Come on, Raine. Head up.”
Grumbling unintelligibly, Raine doesn’t even open his eyes. Lennox is forced to lift his chin for him to clean the sweat from his face. I watch on, lips pursed.
“You could help,” Lennox mutters. “This is your idea.”
“I warned you not to get attached to him. Look where it’s brought you.”
“Attached?” He shakes his head. “Raine is one of us.”
“Which is why we’re not leaving him to die on the floor. That doesn’t mean we should care.”
Balling up the washcloth, Lennox tosses it aside and rises. He gets in my face, every shred of rage that’s bound tight at the core of his being on full display in those seafoam eyes.
“What they did to us in the Z wing broke something inside you, Xan. Something that I don’t think can ever be fixed.”
“What’s your point?”
“You’ve always been a heartless bastard, but never cruel.”
“Cruel?” I repeat flatly.
“This right here is fucking cruelty!” He gestures at me. “You used to care. You used to feel. Even if it was only a little bit.”
Staring back into his eyes, I don’t feel even a hint of remorse.
“I think you’re confusing tolerance for caring.”
Lennox recoils like I’ve punched him square in the teeth. Seeing his shock and confusion so viscerally carved into his expression almost summons an ounce of emotion. Almost. But the embers soon flicker out again.
“My best friend died in that dungeon,” he accuses acerbically. “I don’t know who the fuck I escaped with, but I don’t know him.”
The sound of knocking on the door breaks our stare off. Lennox turns his back to me, returning to Raine’s side. I exhale loudly and move to let Ripley inside.
“This is all I can spare.” She pulls a clear bag of slightly off-white pills from her pocket. “Should last a few days.”
I reach out to clasp the plastic baggie. “I’ve seen purer.”
Her brows pull together into a frown. “How do you see anything from the high pedestal you’ve put yourself on?”
Ignoring her sass, I tear open the bag and tip a couple pills out into my palm. They have a slightly vinegary scent, the only sign that she isn’t dealing tabs of paracetamol to migraine sufferers.
“I expect an extra ten percent,” she blurts. “Rush fee.”
Lennox barks a laugh. “You’re un-fucking-believable.”
“This isn’t a charity.” She briefly lifts one shoulder. “I wouldn’t give this shit to a friend for free, and you guys sure as fuck aren’t that. Be glad I’m helping at all.”
“Why are you helping?” I can’t help but ask.
Wringing her fingers together, Ripley can’t hide the subtle glance she takes in Raine’s direction. I spent months studying this woman. I know all her tells. The minute details that allowed me to create a profile as we plotted our moves.
I thought she was an easy target. Her fear called out to me like a siren’s song that slipped beneath my skin and metastasised into something more. Something far more pervasive and deadly. But I never expected that night to come to mean something to me.
Once wasn’t enough.
Not with her.
I want to tear apart the very fabric of her soul and keep the shredded remains for myself, like organs preserved in jars for the world to admire. Her carcass in my collection will be my finest achievement.
“My motivations are not your concern.” She clears whatever strange glimmer was present in her gaze. “Tell him to pay up, or withdrawals will be the least of his concerns.”
Keeping her eyes averted, she turns and leaves. Clasping Raine’s pills in my hand, I stare after Ripley, wondering how the fuck my silent little lamb found the courage to make such threats.
And why it’s so fucking hot.