Chapter 20
She glanced at Swayam, hoping to catch something in his expression that might tell her what he was thinking. The faint glow from the dashboard traced the sharp line of his jaw, and she could see the tension there. He had not said a word since they left.
His maasi’s house was barely fifteen minutes away, and they had already covered most of the distance. The shifting numbers on the dashboard reminded her how little time she had left.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, and her breath caught.
She angled it subtly to hide it from Swayam as she opened the message.
brEAKING NEWS: Golden Girl to Public Shame. Kashyap Heiress Caught in Private Images Leak; Kashyap Luxe Faces Unprecedented Collapse
The fear was immediate, visceral, all-consuming.
Another text followed instantly.
This is the headline you will wake up to tomorrow morning if Swayam doesn’t come back here tonight. And I can ruin his life too, remember that.
Kashvi shoved the phone into her pocket as she turned to look out the window, hiding her tears. It felt like someone had drenched her in ice water, and she slid the window down to gulp in air.
For a fleeting second, she wanted to reach for Swayam and tell him to keep driving, to take her somewhere no one could find them.
Just the two of them and an endless stretch of road.
But she couldn’t let herself believe in that possibility, because no matter where they went, reality would catch up with them.
If this news got out, it would spread like wildfire before anyone could stop it. Just the headline alone was enough to ruin her family’s legacy and reputation. Her leaked images would then destroy the rest for good.
The pressure built until she could not sit in silence any longer. She searched for something, anything, to say.
‘Your Fufa is a jerk.’
‘Yeah, he is,’ Swayam agreed.
And then nothing. The tension settled around them once more.
She went on, ‘He’s just like my father. They think they have the right to judge and look down on the women in their lives.’
‘Some of them don’t stop at women. They just look down on everyone,’ Swayam said through gritted teeth.
Kashvi curled her fingers into a fist at the thought of him being on the receiving end of Dhanush’s casual cruelty. ‘You should stay away from him when you go back. Just don’t engage. People like him thrive on reactions, and it frustrates them when they don’t get one.’
‘I’m not going back.’
A jolt of panic made her turn fully towards him. ‘What do you mean? You have to go back.’
‘I have more important things to take care of,’ Swayam said, his gaze distant.
Kashvi imagined her name, her face, her life plastered across the media. It would drag her into a nightmare she could never escape.
‘Swayam, you can’t just… You have to go back. Your maasi is waiting for you. She’ll worry if you don’t show up.’
‘I’ll talk to her. She’ll understand,’ he replied calmly.
Kashvi insisted, ‘That’s not the point. It’s your cousin’s engagement. You can’t just skip out on it.’
‘You seem more concerned about his engagement than me,’ he noted sharply, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.
Kashvi had no answer.
Swayam let out a tense chuckle. ‘Besides, I was there the first time he asked her out at school. I was there through their break-ups, and I stood by them when they told the family about the wedding. I think I can miss one thing.’
‘You also have that girl to meet tomorrow,’ Kashvi blurted.
A vein pulsed angrily in his forehead as he asked, ‘Do you actually think that’s a reason for me to go back?’
Her heart sank as she realised it was the wrong thing to say. She fidgeted with her seatbelt. ‘Why not? The way your maasi was talking about Aisha… she seems perfect for you.’
‘I still don’t hear an answer,’ Swayam said pointedly.
She held his gaze, the weight of it pressing down on her. ‘When it comes to finding a match for life, I do think it’s a good enough reason to go.’
A hint of bitterness edged his voice. ‘Everyone today seems to have an opinion about what I should do with my life. Well, sorry to disappoint, but I have better things to do than waste my time on irrelevant matters.’
‘Like what?’ Kashvi asked cautiously.
‘Like getting home as soon as possible so we can talk about us.’
She couldn’t be alone with Swayam in a room. If he turned that gaze on her, gathered her in his arms, and started asking questions, she wouldn’t be able to lie.
‘We can talk later. Nothing is so urgent that you have to skip family dinner.’
‘It’s urgent enough that I can’t wait,’ Swayam shot back as he drove into the familiar entrance of their society, the guard lifting the barrier with a brief nod.
He turned towards the parking lot, and the reminder that time was running out hit her hard. Her heart pounded as she searched for a way out. She couldn’t afford to fall apart in front of him.
‘Okay, if you really want to talk, we can do it here in the car,’ she said firmly.
The tyres scraped against the concrete, and her body lurched forward, her hand bracing against the dashboard as Swayam brought the car to an abrupt halt in the vacant slot. Then his burning gaze locked onto hers.
‘You want to talk here? Fine, let’s talk,’ he said in a low, gravelly voice, pinning her with a glare. ‘I understand that you weren’t ready to tell my family about us. But what I don’t get is why you thought it was necessary to promise them I’d show up tomorrow to meet someone else.’
‘What’s not to understand? You should go,’ Kashvi said, forcing her tone to stay even despite the turmoil inside her.
‘Oh? Is that why you demoted me to your driving instructor?’ he asked, pain threading through his voice.
If he was hurt, if he was angry enough, maybe he’d walk away for good.
She looked away. ‘I think you should focus on what you’ll wear tomorrow. First impressions matter.’
He stared at her, disbelief colouring his expression. ‘Are you serious right now?’
Kashvi lifted her chin. ‘Why wouldn’t I be? Your maasi clearly thinks she’s a good match for you. I doubt she would’ve chosen Aisha if she didn’t believe you’d be happy with her. She wants what’s best for you.’
‘I can see why Maasi might think that, but I don’t understand why you’re supporting it.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because we’re married. You’re my wife, Kashvi.’ He pressed his fingers against his temple, trying to steady himself.
My wife.
Kashvi clung to the words for dear life. Who knew how long she would have the right to them?
Guilt made it hard to breathe, because she knew she was the reason for the hurt and betrayal darkening his eyes. But Viraj’s shadow still loomed over them, so she whispered, ‘For now.’
Swayam went still. ‘What does that mean?’
Each word scraped her throat on its way out. ‘It means this isn’t exactly the life either of us chose for ourselves. In a few months, this will be over, and we’ll go back to our own lives. So there’s no reason why you shouldn’t start looking at other options.’
Swayam let out a short, incredulous breath. ‘Other options? What are you even saying right now, Kash?’
‘Before all of this, you must have had an idea of the person you would marry. I took that away from you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find your way back to it. I want you to have a happy life, Swayam,’ she said, relieved to finally say something real.
‘I want that life with you, baby,’ he said, gently grazing her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
The warmth of his touch and the sincerity in his words sank deep into her. Her chest ached with how right it felt.
Then she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and gently pushed his hand away. ‘I can’t give you that.’
‘You don’t have to do anything extraordinary to make me happy. All you have to do is be with me.’
‘I can’t do that either,’ she whispered, each word another step away from him, even within the confined space of the car.
‘That means you won’t,’ Swayam said quietly, hope dimming in his eyes. He dragged a palm over his face. ‘I know this marriage took you by surprise, but I thought things were going well these last couple of weeks. I thought we were settling into our new life.’
He glanced away, his jaw clenched. ‘I don’t understand what changed.’
Kashvi braced herself, forcing her emotions down. ‘I love spending time with you, and I owe you for last night and everything else you’ve done for me. But I’m not the right person for you, and we can’t ignore that this can’t last forever.’
‘You know this because you know me so well?’
The way he scoffed pricked at her nerves. She insisted, ‘I do know you.’
‘If only you did,’ he muttered under his breath.
‘Don’t you dare. I know you even better than Di does, even though you’re her best friend.’
His eyes searched hers. ‘Is that why you introduced yourself as her sister? Because you see me only as her friend?’
The question slammed through the fragile wall she had built between them, leaving it in tatters.
How could she tell him he was the one person who made her feel safe in this cruel world?
How could she tell him he had become the one constant light in her life when everything else threatened to collapse into a black hole?
How could she explain that the idea of a life without him felt like being dragged into the last circle of hell?
Instead, she settled for, ‘No, you’re my friend too. I care about you… a lot. And I don’t want you to end up paying for helping me by being alone for the rest of your life.’
‘The only way I’d end up alone is if my wife decides to leave me.’
A fine sheen of tears filled his eyes, and her lower lip quivered before she bit down on it.
‘That’s why I want you to think ahead. I really think it’s a good idea for you to meet that girl tomorrow.’
‘Do you?’ he asked, an undercurrent of sarcasm in his voice.
‘Yes,’ Kashvi choked out, the word lodging painfully in her throat.
‘And you’d be okay with that? Because all you see me as is a friend, right?’
If she held on to him, everything would fall apart. If she let him go, she would lose him, but at least he would be safe.
It was a painful but simple choice, even if it meant there was no place for her in his life, as long as it was a happy one.
‘Yes.’
Swayam held her gaze a moment longer, then pulled away. ‘I see,’ he murmured, looking away.
The small gap between them felt like a cold chasm.
Kashvi cleared her throat and reached for her purse. ‘So yeah, you should totally go tomorrow. And please don’t let Luv pick your outfit. You’ll end up wearing something ridiculous, like a neon kurta.’
Her attempt at humour lingered awkwardly when Swayam didn’t respond.
She adjusted the strap of her bag, desperate to get out of the suffocating space in the car, when he said, ‘You’re coming with us tomorrow.’
Kashvi froze, her hand on the handle, and turned to him. ‘What?’
Swayam gave a firm nod. ‘Not just that, you’ll be the one who picks what I wear.’
She stammered, ‘I… I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t—’
He didn’t let her finish. ‘I want my friend to be there. You’re the one who thinks this girl might be the one for me. Then it’s your responsibility to get me ready for her.’
Her fingers trembled against her knees as she searched for a way out of his trap.
‘Or,’ he said, dragging out the word to get her attention. ‘Or are you finally willing to admit that this whole thing is ridiculous and go upstairs… to our home?’
There was no way out. He’d made sure of it. ‘Fine. I’ll be there.’
The hope in his eyes dissolved, replaced by resignation. Swayam leaned closer, closing the distance, his hand rising to cup her jaw. Her pulse thudded unevenly in her ears when his gaze dropped briefly to her lips.
For a moment, Kashvi thought he might kiss her, and her fingers twitched with the need to hold onto him.
Instead, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and whispered, ‘Be on time.’
Then Swayam pulled back, dropped the keys into her hand, and stepped out of the car before she could catch her breath.
The door shut with a thud, making her flinch. Kashvi watched him walk away through the windshield, and by the time he disappeared from view, the silence inside the car became unbearable.
The fragile control she’d held onto shattered, and the first tear slipped free. A strangled cry tore from her throat as she wrapped her arms around herself, rocking back and forth.
Every part of her wanted to run after him, to take back what she’d said, and tell him the truth. It was killing her not to do that.
Kashvi had known it would hurt to let him go, but she had not expected him to leave behind this hollow, gut-wrenching vacuum where her heart used to be.