Chapter 21
‘How about you let me drive?’ Luv asked, watching her intently.
Kashvi took a deep breath to maintain her fragile control as she gripped the steering wheel tighter.
It had been ten minutes since they got into the car, and he’d asked the same question twice before, each time gentler than the last.
The engine sputtered to life, and she eased her foot onto the pedal with a hesitant lurch. ‘See, I’m fine.’
Kashvi kept her gaze fixed on the road, tracking every small movement as she merged onto the main road.
‘So, where are we going?’ he asked, leaning back against the passenger seat. ‘All I got was a text from you last night asking me to be here at ten sharp. Very mysterious.’
Last night had been a blur of too much silence and too many thoughts. She had tossed and turned restlessly in her bed, which still held his faint scent, replaying the agonising memory over and over.
She had itched to reach for her phone, but what could she even say? What could she possibly offer that would not make things worse?
‘Kashvi?’ he prompted.
‘Shopping.’
Luv turned to face her, raising his brows in disbelief. ‘You asked me to wake up early… to go shopping? Why am I being tortured? Where’s Swayam?’
She adjusted her damp palms on the wheel, driving along a slow curve as she said, ‘It’s for him. He needs a new kurta.’
‘Are we sure this is the same man who thinks two shirts are enough for a week-long vacation?’ Luv snorted. ‘What’s the occasion?’
Kashvi sighed. She’d hoped to avoid this conversation, but if things moved forward between Swayam and Aisha, this would come out soon. ‘He’s meeting someone today.’
‘Wait,’ Luv blinked, sitting up straight. ‘Are you telling me Swayam is going to meet a girl?’
‘Yes.’
‘Is it the same one his maasi insisted he should meet at his cousin’s engagement?’
‘Yes,’ she said through gritted teeth, her gaze flickering briefly to the rear-view mirror.
A hint of a grin tugged at his lips as he lightly scolded her. ‘It’s barely ten in the morning, Kashu. If you’re going to crack such bad jokes, at least get me coffee first.’
‘I’m not joking.’
His amusement faded as he studied her face. ‘So you mean to say that he’s going to meet this girl, and if things go well, then what… wedding bells?’
‘If he likes her, then his maasi mentioned they might get engaged today,’ Kashvi said, dragging the answer out.
‘Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t you and Swayam get married? Or was that just a glitch in the matrix?’ Luv asked, a trace of playful sarcasm in his voice that did nothing to soften the question.
Silence stretched for a few seconds, filled only by the muted sounds of the city passing by. Kashvi blinked hard as the same weariness from yesterday settled over her again.
It did not feel any less hollow as she repeated the same line. ‘We knew we only got married as a temporary arrangement. That was always the plan. It’s not… it’s not a big deal.’
‘That doesn’t seem to be true for him. He doesn’t seem like he’s just passing time until this arrangement ends. I’d bet on it if I had to. He’s not in this halfway,’ Luv insisted gently.
The certainty in his voice cut deeper than anything, and Kashvi shook her head, wishing he would stop. ‘I know what we agreed on.’
‘Not from where we were standing,’ Luv said after a heavy beat.
‘Look, it’s not complicated. You just have to get him something decent to wear,’ Kashvi let out a frustrated breath as they inched ahead in traffic. ‘And, Luv, no jokes that put him off, okay? Just help him pick a good kurta, then drop him back at his cousin’s place. That’s all.’
Luv hummed softly. ‘Alright, I’ll behave. What about you? What’s your grand plan in all of this?’
‘I’ll leave after I drop you both at the mall.’
‘Why?’
Because she could not bear it. Her ears rang as Kashvi remembered how close she’d come to another breakdown last night, and this was the only shield she had. She knew it was a coward’s call, but she had to protect at least one piece of her shattered heart if she wanted to survive. ‘I have work.’
He fell quiet, and Kashvi let out a relieved breath when he let it go.
‘Whose idea was it?’ Luv asked casually, but there was an undercurrent of tension in his tone.
‘His maasi and fufa know the girl’s family, and they think it’s a good match.’
‘That’s not what I asked,’ he pointed out, dodging her deflection with ease. ‘Whose idea was it to agree to this?’
‘How does it matter?’ Kashvi shot back.
‘I like to think I know my friends, because they’re like family to me. I’ve known Swayam long enough to call him my brother, just like Abhay and Raag, and that’s not something I say lightly,’ Luv said, his voice flat now, stripped of its earlier amusement.
The fond way he spoke of Swayam stood in contrast to the memory of Viraj, and despite the tension simmering in the air, Kashvi smiled.
Luv went on, ‘And I know how he is when it comes to the people he cares about. That’s not the man who wakes up one day and goes out looking for a replacement, unless something forced his hand. Am I wrong?’
His gaze was direct and unflinching, leaving no space to avoid it.
‘No,’ she said softly, following it with an irritated honk of the horn.
Luv made a sceptical sound, and she stole a quick glance at him. ‘What?’
He shook his head, rubbing his jaw in thought. ‘Nothing. I’m just realising I was wrong about you. I thought you were smarter than this.’
Her irritation flared as she snapped, ‘It’s not a good day for you to test my patience, Luv.’
‘I’m only saying that letting go of a man who is completely, unapologetically devoted to you has to be a foolish tragedy,’ Luv said, unrelenting.
She couldn’t really argue with him there, but did he have to go for the kill shot?
Luv tapped his fingers against the dashboard. ‘I mean, the way he looks at you, Kashu… it’s like a blind man seeing the sun rise for the first time.’
The imagery struck harder than she expected, vivid in a way that made it difficult to push aside.
She glanced once at the line of vehicles ahead as she murmured, ‘It’s what’s best for him.’
‘Or is it just what you’ve decided is best for him?’ he asked calmly.
‘His family will talk to him. They’ll explain things and make him understand,’ she said, more to herself than to him.
‘That still doesn’t make it his choice. He’s the one who has to live with it. At the end of the day, he’s the one who will carry the regret that comes with it. So, don’t you think he deserves to be the one who chooses it?’
‘Why are you being so negative? It could actually work out well for him. Aisha already fits into his world and his family, and she’ll make her place in his life too.’
‘If that’s who he was looking for, he wouldn’t have married you.’
‘That’s not why he married me. He did it to help me, and to save the foundation from collapsing,’ Kashvi argued.
‘Did he?’ Luv asked, probing deeper.
She could not afford to think about it like that, because if she went looking for love in his eyes and found none, it would shatter her in a way she would never recover from.
Her pulse rang loudly in her ears as she said, ‘I mean… I’m sure she’ll be better for him than I ever could be.’
Luv exhaled slowly, his voice turning gravelly. ‘There are some people in your life that you just can’t replace, no matter how hard you try.’
Kashvi turned to see his profile, his gaze fixed out the window. Had she imagined the tremor in his voice?
She understood what he meant, because there was no version of her life where Swayam was someone she could simply replace.
‘It sounds like you’re talking from experience,’ she observed quietly.
‘I am,’ he said flatly.
‘What kind of experience?’ Kashvi asked, unable to stop herself.
‘The kind that leaves scars on your soul and haunts you in the silence of the night,’ Luv said, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard.
‘What happened?’ she asked.
Luv took a deep breath, then said, ‘I trusted the wrong person, and it cost me more than I realised it would.’
When he didn’t go on, Kashvi prompted, ‘And?’
‘That’s it,’ he said, shrugging lightly.
A hint of frustration slipped into her tone. ‘You realise that’s incredibly annoying, right? You drop something like that and then refuse to explain, and I can’t even threaten you with anything because none of us know much about your past.’
Luv flipped his collar upwards in mock pride.
‘That’s because I’ve made sure to keep it that way.
I don’t talk about this with anyone, not even my twin.
But that’s beside the point. All I’m saying is, think about this again, because anyone who has seen the two of you together would tell you this is a terrible idea. ’
‘It’s not in my hands anymore,’ Kashvi mumbled as she turned the wheel, guiding the car into the final lane.
He was about to argue when the final thread of her control snapped, and she cut him off. ‘Luv, you’re not the only one who cares about him. I’m doing this because I—’
Because I love him.
The thought burned through her, setting her nerves on fire.
She curled her fingers tighter around the wheel as she swallowed back the words. ‘I understand what you’re saying, but Swayam will build a new life with this girl, and whatever this was between us… will become a lost chapter in his past.’
As she drove further down the lane, her heart beat loudly enough that she could feel it in her throat.
Then she saw him.
Swayam stood just off the curb, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans.
Beside her, Luv saw him too, then glanced back at her. ‘I think you might be wrong about this, but I hope you know what you’re doing.’
‘I do,’ she murmured, looking over at Swayam.
His pale off-white shirt was crumpled along the sleeves, and his dishevelled hair fell in uneven strands across his forehead.
He looked like he hadn’t slept. He looked like she felt inside.
She brought the car to a stop, and Luv slid down his window. Swayam bent down, bracing one arm along the edge of the door.
And then his gaze found hers.
The world narrowed to only him, and there was too much anger, agony, and ache in his eyes.