Chapter 21
Lacey
“ W e need to talk,” he breathes out.
A scoff rips from my throat as I hug my knees to my chest as if to protect myself.
I’ve heard that one before.
From Theo.
Whenever something happened between us and he had to tell me he didn’t feel that way about me the next day.
Crazy how history keeps on repeating itself.
The difference is this time, I won’t delude myself into thinking he’ll change his mind. I’ll just accept the rejection with dignity and move on with my life.
I can see his shitty excuse coming from a mile away. “Let me guess, you’re sorry and you shouldn’t have said that?”
He lowers his eyes to the water for a second, a sign that I’m spot-on.
“I really am sorry,” he says quietly.
I sigh. “Look, this thing between us… It got out of hand. With the weekly lessons and the fake relationship crap… You were right earlier. I was starting to catch feelings, but you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay. Now we can just put all of this behind us and?—”
“I do.”
I blink at him, struggling to make sense of his reply. “You do what?”
“I do feel the same.”
I can’t utter a word, staring at him for long seconds.
It’s as though I’m waiting for him to say Gotcha and take it back at any moment.
A sigh falls from his lips. “I like you, Lacey.”
What.
Is.
Happening.
“I like you so fucking much it’s messing with my head.”
Am I hallucinating, or is the guy I like seriously telling me that he likes me back?
“I didn’t come up to you last night because I couldn’t handle how much I wanted to. Because from the moment you walked into that party, all I could think about was kissing you and touching you and… Fuck, Lacey, this has never happened to me before. I can’t begin to wrap my head around the way I feel about you.”
Oh my God.
Those are the only words that come to mind right now.
His heartfelt declaration brings tears to my eyes, my chest bursting with emotion.
“I’m such a dick for telling the guys I didn’t like you. I should’ve owned up to my shit, but I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that you’ve got me wrapped around your little finger, let alone admit it to them. So, I wussed out. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I let this thing between us scare me.”
I’m overwhelmed with emotions, my mind racing with questions I’m scared he won’t know how to answer.
“Wait, so… what does that mean? Does that mean you want us to date casually? I know you don’t do serious relationships and?—”
“I didn’t.”
My stomach flutters.
TJ scoots over to my side of the hot tub, sitting right next to me and searching my gaze. He’s so close now it’s impossible to diffuse the tension escalating between us. I let my legs fall, releasing them from their curled-up position, and TJ’s hand immediately locks around my thigh, sending jolts of desire to the sweet spot between my legs.
“I didn’t do serious relationships. Past tense. People change. You’re living proof of that.”
He’s right.
If anyone knows about change, it’s me. I’ve grown so much in the past year and a half, the girl I used to be wouldn’t recognize the woman I am today.
“So, to answer your question, no , I have no fucking intention of keeping this thing casual.”
Did he just…
A smile lifts the corner of my mouth. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Jacobs?”
“I’m not asking you anything. I’m telling you that we’re dating, which makes you my girlfriend.”
I laugh. “Don’t I have a say in the matter?”
He shrugs, a sly smile dancing on his lips. “Nah. As far as I’m concerned, you were mine from the moment you let me finger you in the locker room.”
I could resist and tell him that’s not how relationships work, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Okay then” is all I say.
His eyes grow, along with his grin. “That’s it? You’re not going to fight me on this?”
I chuckle. “Do you want me to fight you on this?”
He hesitates for a moment, and then says, “No.”
“Good. Then take the win and just kiss me already.”
He laughs.
Then he’s cupping my face with his hand, taking a fistful of my wet hair and claiming my mouth without a moment’s hesitation.
I melt into him, gasping when he pulls on my hair just a tad to angle my head backward. My lips part automatically, and he groans, sweeping his tongue across the seam of my mouth before sliding it inside to taste mine.
This feels different than the last time I kissed him. Because I know I’m not going to have to stop this from going too far. Now that we’re dating, I want it to go too far.
And suddenly, I’m not just a girl kissing her crush. I’m a girl kissing her man. Because TJ’s my boyfriend. I won’t feel bad if I sleep with him. Or worry about him not calling me the next day.
We. Are. Dating.
It’s not sinking in.
I bring my hand to his face and then press my breasts flush to his body as our tongues tangle together. I’m tempted to give him a taste of his own medicine when my hands travel to his scalp, and I pull the hair on the back of his head. Hard.
A groan of irritation and desire slips from his throat, but he doesn’t seem to appreciate me trying to assert dominance over him because he ends the kiss just long enough to take hold of my wrist and use it to pull me on top of him in the hot tub.
His big hands fall to my waist as soon as he has me straddling him, and he presses me down onto his cock, which is already impossibly hard beneath me. His fingers grip my hip bones so tight I couldn’t move off him even if I tried, our bodies glued together. Then, his lips are back on mine, his tongue seeking entrance into my mouth. I grant him access in a heartbeat, opening up for him and moaning when his tongue darts out to taste mine again.
I only realize that I’m rocking against his cock when a guttural sound escapes him and his hands slink from my hips to the inside of my bikini bottoms. The pads of his thumbs reach downward a few inches, and I know he’s using up most of his self-control. It won’t be long before his resolve snaps and he’s fucking me bare in a hot tub.
“Fuck, baby, I… You need to stop those sexy little hip rolls unless you want me to pull your bathing suit to the side and shove my cock inside you.”
Oh, God, I want him to.
But this isn’t the right place. I don’t want our friends to come outside and see me riding him in Chance’s hot tub.
I separate from him. “Not here. Somewhere private.”
“Where?” he asks, his hands leaving my waist to explore every inch of my stomach.
He has me in a chokehold. With the way he’s running his hands all over my body… just waiting until he can tear that bikini off me.
It’s hard to make sense of my own thoughts when he’s touching me like this, but I still manage to think clearly long enough to say, “Not inside. They’ll hear us. I want to be as loud as I can when you fuck me.”
His eyes flare. Then, he lunges forward to plaster my neck with hot, slow kisses. They start delicate and gentle but eventually evolve into bruising, nearly painful love bites.
My head falls back as he licks, tastes, and teases my skin, and I close my eyes, only opening them when his teeth dig into my collarbone, definitely marking me with a souvenir.
“More,” I whine as he bands his hand around the back of my neck and holds me in place to finish his masterpiece.
That’s when I see them.
The stars.
In this position, with my eyes riveted on the night sky, I can see a million stars staring back at us.
It all clicks for me.
“We can use the observatory.” I think out loud.
TJ’s eyes grow at my proposition. “Holy shit, that’s brilliant.”
I laugh and try to climb off his lap, but he doesn’t release me just yet, planting a hard kiss on my mouth. “Do I have your consent?”
I wonder if he’s joking at first. I want him so bad I could scream, and he’s asking me if I want this?
I rest my palms flat against his pec. “Do you even need to ask?”
“Yeah, I do.” He covers my hand with his own. “Lacey, once we get in that room, I’m not going to ask you if you’re okay every five seconds. I’m going to treat you like the nasty little slut you are because I know that’s how you want it, but I need to make sure you’re okay with it first. In the bedroom, I won’t always be nice to you, but outside of it, you fucking own me. Body and soul. You own all of me, baby. I just need to know if you can handle it.”
I’m shocked silent.
“Does that mean I won’t be able to say no?” I ask.
“No, it’s not like that. If you tell me to stop, I will. I promise. But the rest of the time, I’ll take the lead. Fully. Completely. I want to keep you guessing, so you’ll need to relinquish control to me.”
“Yes, you have my consent.”
I love knowing that I won’t have to think so much for once. I already have to be in charge every second of every day with my siblings, but not in the bedroom. In the bedroom, I want him to take command.
A wicked smile spreads across his face. “That’s my girl. Observatory, now .”
I oblige, getting out before him. We slip out of the hot tub in no time, grabbing the towels we’d laid out on a lounge chair and patting ourselves as dry as we possibly can in less than five seconds. Music travels from the inside of the house to the backyard, confirmation that the party’s just getting started.
Great. They won’t be coming to look for us for a while.
TJ traps my hand in his and leads the way to the observatory. The room is pitch-black when we walk in—not surprising, considering there are no windows anywhere, aside from the ceiling, and the retractable window above is shut.
“Open it,” I tell TJ, who doesn’t waste a second hitting the button by the door.
The ceiling opens up on cue, operated by electric motors, and exposes the night sky, making the observatory feel like our very own gateway to the cosmos.
The sky is breathtaking, and TJ and I both pause for a moment to admire the sea of stars above. It only lasts for a heartbeat, though, because the next thing I know, TJ is charging at me, lifting me up into his arms and kissing me so hard the air is sucked out of my body.
We’re both still dripping wet, despite our miserable attempt at drying ourselves after the hot tub, and I shiver at the feel of his torso pressing against mine.
Never breaking the kiss, TJ slams my back against the wall and catches my bottom lip between his teeth. He bites down on it, making me cry out in the most delicious pain I’ve ever felt, and grabs my throat at the base.
“God, I can’t believe it took me this long to see you. I’m so sorry, Lace. I was so fucking blind,” TJ says, putting me down just long enough to lower himself to the ground.
He pulls my bikini bottoms down my legs in one go, dark eyes soaking up any and all of my reactions as he tosses them aside and traces his finger up and down my pussy lips once, making me buck.
He’s on his knees in front of me, and I’m convinced it couldn’t get any hotter, but then he’s lifting my leg up and throwing it over his right shoulder.
And he doesn’t stop there, repeating the process for my left leg until I’m sitting on his shoulders, my back flush against the wall and his face just inches away from my pussy.
The first flick of his tongue feels so incredible it’s enough to drive a girl insane. My clit is pulsating with need, and when he proceeds to drag his tongue up and down my slit a few times, I let out a whimper. We’ve just started, but it feels like he’s been rubbing me for hours. Why am I so sensitive?
He starts slow, grunting every time a moan falls from my mouth, and gradually picks up the pace, teasing my clit but never quite applying the pressure I crave.
I’m getting restless, tugging at his hair as if to pull his face closer, and he laughs against my pussy, his breath fanning my core. “That’s right, baby, shove it in there. Suffocate me. I fucking love it.”
I don’t think twice, luring his face even deeper between my legs, and he groans in satisfaction, sucking my clit into his mouth with such power a sharp edge of pleasure rises in my lower stomach.
I can’t help arching off the wall when he squeezes not one but two fingers inside me at once, filling me to the brim.
“Jesus, you’re so… I’m not going to fit.”
The thought of him stretching me out does something to me. His mouth latches onto my clit again, and my hips buck. He’s got me on the edge so fast it’s frustrating. I want this to last. He picks up on how aroused I am and starts curling his fingers in and out of my pussy.
“Look at you, losing your goddamn mind just thinking about my cock stretching you out. That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want me to fill up every inch of that cunt.”
That last comment robs me of my sanity. The combination of his fingers and tongue twirling around my clit leaves me defenseless against the pleasure building in my stomach. My eyes roll back at the same time my legs clench, and I nearly suffocate him with my thighs.
“I’m going to come,” I tell him, even though it’s already happening.
“Fuck, yes. Come on my face, Mattson. All over my fucking face.”
I reach the point of no return a heartbeat later, and the moans previously caged in my throat rush out of me, making the experience all the more intense as TJ gives me what might just be the best orgasm I’ve ever had.
The noises he makes when I fall apart are so incredibly hot you’d think he’s the one coming. It’s all grunts and moans and fuck . Knowing how much he values and cares for my pleasure merely adds to the sensation, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to feel my legs once he untangles them from his shoulders.
My knees nearly give out from under me as soon as he helps me down.
Our eyes lock for a short moment, but neither of us makes a sound. No words are needed, the anticipation and tension hanging between us too much to bear.
We’re throwing ourselves at each other before I know it. Everything about our make-out session is animalistic. TJ grabs my throat as if to keep me compliant as he bites down on my lip and reaches around my back to undo my bikini top.
His hands are smacked across my breasts from the moment my top cascades down my body, and he groans in satisfaction, flicking my nipples with the pads of his thumbs. I’d never realized how sensitive my nipples could be. It’s as though each time he grazes the tips with his finger, my clit vibrates with bliss.
TJ releases my throat only to take my arm instead and guide me down onto one of the beanbags placed around the observatory. He’s taking off his bathing suit before I can blink. Then, he’s climbing on top of me, his arms flanking my head as he slams our mouths together.
His cock brushes against my inner thigh, and I can’t ignore the ache forming in my lower stomach a moment longer.
“Fuck me. Please.”
This marks the second time I’ve asked him that. The first was in the shower after the kidnapping attempt on Sierra, but he refused, saying our first time wouldn’t happen in those circumstances. Maybe I should be embarrassed by my own begging, but TJ certainly doesn’t seem to have a problem with it, his smile taking up his entire face.
“Fuck, believe me when I say you will never have to beg me again,” TJ rasps.
He tops that off with a forehead kiss and stares me dead in the eye as he throws my legs open, spreading them as far as they go, and then grabs himself at the base, steering his cock to the entrance of my pussy.
A breath.
A pause.
Then he pulls back, realization glimmering in his eyes.
“Are you on the pill?”
It’s as though I’m brought back down to Earth for a fleeting moment. I can’t believe he had to be the one to bring it up. I was so wrapped up in the moment my brain obviously went on hiatus.
“Yeah. Are you clean?” I ask in return.
“You’re the only girl I’ve done things with since I got checked. You?”
“I got checked over a year ago, but nothing’s happened since,” I remind him.
That’s all he needed to hear. He nods, kisses me again, and it’s like a switch just flipped. We find ourselves back in some sort of trance. Just two kids staring at each other under the stars.
“I… It’s been a while for me, so if you could…”
“I know, baby. I’ll take it easy, I promise.”
Then, he’s working his cock inside me.
It stings a little—no doubt because of his size—but the pain doesn’t even come close to trumping the pleasure and connection I feel when he stills, his eyes growing in shock, and rests his forehead on mine.
“Fuck, Mattson, you have no idea how good you feel. I can’t… I need a second.”
Seeing him like this, drowning in pleasure, it causes my heart to swell at least two sizes. God, I love that look on his face. Seeing the sensations overpower him. It’s indescribable.
My instinct is to run my thumb over the curve of his jaw to show him there’s no rush. He kisses the inside of my palm as I do and then slowly starts moving again.
I gasp when he fills me up, his cock stretching me to the limit, and I squirm, trying to adjust to his size. It doesn’t take long for us to find our rhythm, his hips smacking against mine every time he thrusts back in.
It’s starting to feel good. Better than good. And I can’t help moaning when he captures my clit between his fingers and pinches it hard.
“I want to fuck your brains out, but if I go any faster, I’m going to blow. Just need to get used to this tight fucking pussy, okay?”
I nod, appreciating the honesty, and grip both of his shoulders as he continues to fuck me, gradually picking up the pace until he feels ready to give me more.
“Goddamn, you’re amazing, baby.” TJ’s hand wraps around my throat, and he positions his face inches away from mine to witness my reaction when he takes things to the next level.
My mouth drops open as he rams himself inside me harder and faster until he’s downright pounding into me.
“Touch yourself for me, rich girl,” TJ commands, his voice mixing with the sound of slapping skin and the wetness dripping between my legs.
I don’t think twice, one of my hands gripping my breast while the other lands on my clit and begins twirling it into rough circles.
“That’s it. Faster.”
I oblige immediately, my back arching off the beanbag. My clit is still swollen from the orgasm he gave me before, making it overly sensitive, and I know I could get off just watching the look on his face. That’s how hot he looks as he rails himself in and out of me.
I shriek when TJ grips the back of my hair with one hand and angles it forward so that I have to watch him fill me to the brim over and over again.
“You see that pussy? It’s fucking mine. I’m the only one who gets to pound it. Pleasure it. Tease it. That’s what it means to be my girlfriend. No one else gets to feel that pussy clench. No one else gets to watch you come. You’re my perfect little fuck toy, baby.”
Hearing him claim ownership of my body makes me want to submit to him fully. To let him turn me into a sex-craved slave.
I never take my eyes off his cock as he enters me, his hand clutching my hair so tightly I would normally complain, but in this scenario, I welcome the pain.
I nearly go insane when he starts switching things up, slowing his thrusting one second, then doubling down the next. He wants to keep me on my toes, and it’s working. A crescendo of need and pleasure merges together, causing pressure to form deep in my stomach.
I love that I can’t look away. That he wants me to see what he’s doing to me. I love that he’s taking what he wants and how shameless he is about it.
“Oh my God, TJ, I’m going to?—”
“There’s no way I’m going to be able to hold it if I have to watch you come.”
But it’s too late. I’m already convulsing on his cock, losing all control as my fingers circle my clit relentlessly. Moans escape me, and the scene sends TJ into a frenzy. He’s driving his cock inside me so fast my tits are bouncing everywhere.
“That was so fucking hot,” he groans, his face twisting with pleasure before he pumps into me a few more times and spills deep inside me.
Neither of us speaks for the next minute, still high on what I can only describe as the best sex I’ve ever had. Then TJ pulls out of me, letting himself fall next to me on the beanbag.
He opens his arms soon after, welcoming me into an embrace I’m afraid I’ll never want to leave, and kisses my forehead again.
Every time I had sex in the past, it would end with me feeling awful. I’d be full of regrets, wishing I hadn’t done it, but now?
It feels right.
And maybe, just maybe…
My luck is finally starting to change.