Chapter 22
Lacey
I thought nothing could make me happier than when TJ asked me to be his girlfriend.
Of course, that was before I woke up in his arms.
I’m one of those people who only sleeps well in their own bed, but to my disbelief, I slept like a baby—although that probably had something to do with TJ rubbing my back and playing with my hair until I passed out.
For the first time in a while, I feel hopeful and excited about the future. There are no clouds looming over our heads. Well, except for the fact that we still have to tell our friends we’re in a serious relationship.
We could’ve told them last night, but we didn’t feel like being bombarded with questions we still hadn’t answered for ourselves. TJ had just pulled me into his arms on the beanbag after we had sex when we heard the lake house’s sliding door open in the distance.
Our friends came strolling out onto the back deck with a portable speaker. The music blaring from it was so loud I was certain we’d get a noise complaint from the neighbors—until I remembered that we don’t have neighbors because we’re still in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
We heard Chance say something about getting a fire started, and we immediately knew sexy time was over. The observatory gave us some privacy when the group was inside the house, but there’s no way the thing would’ve been soundproof enough to block out another round with them standing right outside.
We had no choice but to throw our bathing suits back on and do the walk of shame.
Chance, Theo, Finn, and Xavier started whistling and teasing the hell out of us as soon as we came out of the observatory together, both sporting messy hair and flushed complexions. We didn’t stop, though, making our way to the back door.
Then, after we changed into some warm clothes, we came back down to join the group around the firepit. TJ and I sat next to each other but made sure not to be too touchy—something we’d discussed and agreed on before we came back out.
As far as most of our friends are concerned, we’re still dating casually, so us having a quickie in the observatory isn’t exactly shocking. But I want the world to know we’re more than that now, which is why we waited until everyone was asleep for TJ to sneak into my bedroom.
We stayed up until 4:00 a.m., discussing the way we wanted to break it to them, and we decided to just cut to the chase and walk into the room holding hands in front of them the next day.
“Morning, girlfriend,” TJ says in a low, raspy voice, and I whisk my head to look at him. His eyes are half closed, but he’s smiling from ear to ear.
“How long have you been awake?” I ask, unable to contain my own smile.
He leans forward to press a kiss to my temple. “Like, thirty minutes. Just been contemplating how lucky I am to wake up next to you.”
I run a quick hand through my hair and wince. It’s full of knots—it was still wet from the hot tub when we headed up to bed. Pretty sure I could break a hairbrush in half like in The Princess Diaries makeover scene right now.
I press a loud kiss on his cheek. “Aw, I almost believe you.”
He laughs. “I’m serious. I don’t know what kind of Good Samaritan shit I did in another life, but it must’ve been pretty fucking epic to get me someone like you.”
I can’t stop a dopey grin from forming on my face. “Ew, you big cheeseball.”
His grin only grows. “You’re still smiling, though.”
He’s right, I am smiling.
Because I’m over the moon with joy right now. My stomach grumbles like it’s trying to start a symphony, and I grip my abdomen. I barely had anything for dinner last night.
“Let’s go down and get you something to eat,” TJ says as soon as my stomach is done throwing a tantrum.
I nod, watching as he rises off the bed in nothing but gray sweatpants. The muscles in his back quiver and stretch beneath his skin as he throws on a T-shirt, and I’m immediately transported back into the observatory.
We didn’t get to do round two because everyone came outside last night, and I’m not sure we’ll get another opportunity, seeing as we’re leaving tonight. Then, we’ll be back in my apartment, with my siblings right down the hall. Or at his house, with his sister also right down the hall.
I don’t know what this guy is doing to me, but all I can think about right now is riding him until my legs fall off.
“Coming, baby?” he asks, snapping me out of it, and I swallow hard.
I push to my feet. “Yup.”
I make a beeline for my dresser and grab the outfit I’d laid out last night. I think the guys want to do a hike today, so I opted for some stretchy pants, a tank top, and a jacket.
I get changed in no time, dreading the interrogation ahead. The girls will surely pull me aside and grill me for information from the moment we come down.
TJ’s hand finds mine not even a second after we’ve ambled out of my bedroom, and he intertwines our fingers before leading the way down the stairs and toward the kitchen.
The smell of bacon reaches us a moment later, making my mouth water, and I smile at the sound of our friends laughing in the distance.
TJ stops right before we enter the kitchen, squeezing my fingers tighter and casting a glance in my direction. “You ready?”
I nod. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He smiles. Then, he’s turning the corner and pulling me with him.
Most of our friends are gathered around the kitchen island when we come in. Except for Xavier and Aveena, the two of whom are standing in front of the stove and stirring the ingredients for an omelet. We said we’d take turns cooking this morning, so these two are on breakfast duty for the time being.
Dia has her elbows rested against the counter, while Finn has his arms wrapped around her from behind. Theo, Chance, and Aaron are sitting around the kitchen island, bickering. They don’t see us right away.
“Guess who just agreed to be my very serious, very official girlfriend?” TJ says loud enough for everyone to hear.
Dia is the first to notice us, her jaw dropping when she zeroes in on our hands.
“I knew it!” she squeals.
The others notice us a heartbeat later, and our friends’ faces light up one by one. Except for Aaron—I get it. I was flirting with him yesterday, asking him about his trip, only to come down and announce that I’m dating one of his friends the next day. That was a dick move. On the other hand, it’s not like I’d promised to marry the guy. We never even kissed. But I still shouldn’t have flirted with him to make TJ jealous.
Dia separates from Finn, making a beeline for me. “I knew something was up when I saw you two filthy animals come out of the observatory last night.”
She opens her arms for a hug, and I walk into her embrace.
“Wait, you were in the observatory? When did that happen?” Aveena asks.
“After you went to take that nap and never came back,” Xavier explains.
She throws her hands up. “What else did I miss?”
“We played chubby bunny, and Theo got twelve marshmallows to fit in his mouth before he threw up in the chips bowl.” Chance offers up a troubling piece of information.
Aveena crinkles her nose in disgust, her joy merging with disgust. “Next time, just say nothing.”
Aveena is next in line for her congratulatory hug. In the meantime, TJ gives bro hugs to all the guys except for Aaron, who’s been watching the scene unfold in silence.
“I thought you two were just messing around,” Chance says.
TJ stretches his arm out around my neck and pulls me flush to him to press a kiss to my forehead. “We were. But then I realized I’d be a fucking idiot not to lock that down before another guy realizes how amazing she is and tries to steal her away from me.”
“You know what this means, right?” Dia blurts out.
TJ and I glance at each other, equally confused.
“Triple date!” Dia claps her hands like an overexcited kid.
I laugh. “ We haven’t even had a proper date ourselves, so we should probably start with that.”
“What about us? Are we invited to this triple date?” Theo cuts in.
Aveena scoffs. “Couples only, sorry. Maybe if you manage to convince Ashley to stay in town longer than a week.”
“Hey, I did my part when I got her to take two more weeks off. What else am I going to do? Lock her up?” Theo pauses. “Wait, that’s not a bad idea.”
Aveena laughs, calling her future brother-in-law bonkers—at least, I think he’ll be her future brother-in-law. He and Ashley share a connection that’s proven to be unbreakable over the years.
Just like that, our news is ancient history. The guys resume with their usual bickering and arguing, and it isn’t long before TJ and I are appointed as the next people to monitor breakfast.
I’m usually a decent tutor.
Hell, I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but on a good day, I’d even go as far as to say that I’m a great tutor. Unfortunately, Chance might feel differently.
I couldn’t focus during our lesson—ironic, considering my student is the one with a bad concussion. All I could think about was joining TJ upstairs and picking up where we left off in the observatory.
Not to mention, I’ve been grinning from ear to ear all morning.
I can’t believe I have a boyfriend—scratch that, I can’t believe I have THE boyfriend.
Chance and I tried to study for over an hour before I had no choice but to face the facts. This wasn’t going to be a productive use of our time, so I wound up telling him that my head wasn’t in it. I did, however, promise to tutor him again sometime next week when I’m not practically bouncing off the walls and overstimulated.
Our friends were waiting for us to finish our lesson before leaving for the hike—all of them except Aveena and Xavier, who didn’t feel like tagging along—and so, here we are now, on our way to Crimson Ridge National Park. Chance claims to know the park’s trails like the back of his hand. He and his dad used to hike there all the time when he was a kid.
We had to take two cars, and TJ insisted on sitting in the back seat of Xavier’s car with me—Xavier was nice enough to let us use it, and thank God he did. I could hardly see myself sitting between Aaron and TJ.
TJ then proceeded to hold my hand and rub my palm with his thumb for the entire drive. It all seems too good to be true. It’s as though I’m just waiting to wake up from a dream, waiting for the moment reality hits and my new, perfect boyfriend goes up in smoke.
We pull into the national park’s visitor parking a little after one. We ate way too much at breakfast, so I’m hoping moving my body will help with my stomach pain.
Chance’s car isn’t far behind, and he snatches the parking spot next to us. We all climb out of the car and meet near the entrance, each carrying a backpack.
“How many miles did you say it was again?” I ask Chance.
“Fifteen for us. Five for you.”
I blink at him. “Five for me? What does that mean?”
Chance’s eyes widen like he accidentally said too much.
“Goddamn it, man. Way to ruin the surprise,” TJ tells Chance, an unwavering smile on his face. He doesn’t seem too mad about it.
I spin to face TJ. “A surprise? What surprise?”
TJ reaches for my hand. “We’re not going with them.”
My jaw drops. “We’re not?”
“Nope.”
My eyes dart around our circle, and the smiles spreading across our friends’ faces tell me they were all in on it.
“Then where are we going?”
TJ wraps his arm around my body from behind and pulls me closer. “Like I said, it’s a surprise. Think you can handle waiting a little while longer?”
I squint. “You’re not going to drag me off to an isolated corner of the woods and murder me, are you?”
He laughs and kisses my forehead. “Nah, I very much need you alive for what comes next.”
Somehow, that doesn’t reassure me in the slightest.
“Well, lovebirds, this is where we part ways,” Theo says.
Dia pulls me into a hug before we separate. “You better tell me everything , you got me?”
I give her a nod, but the look on my face must be giving me away because she adds, “Breathe. You’re going to love it.”
Just like that, we dissolve from the group, and TJ leads the way to a different trail located on the other side of the park, named Crystal Pathway.
I don’t know where this Crystal Pathway is going to take us.
But one thing’s certain.
These are going to be the longest five miles of my entire life.
I thought I liked hiking.
Normally, I’m able to enjoy the process, but I’ve spent the past two hours hounding TJ with questions about the surprise he’s got planned, with no success.
Oh, and the real kicker? TJ blindfolded me a few minutes ago. He wouldn’t tell me why. Just that we’re almost there.
I didn’t argue, mostly because I appreciate the effort he’s putting into this, but I’ve nearly fallen on my ass at least five times since he became my eyes.
“Don’t let go!” I scream in between laughter.
TJ’s been having the time of his life messing with me and watching me struggle.
He laughs harder. “Me? You’re the one who needs to hold on tighter.”
“TJ, don’t make me pick up a stick and beat you with it!”
“That won’t be necessary. We’re here.”
I feel him stop, and I stop, too, pouring all of my energy into listening to my surroundings. I hear… water . Maybe a waterfall?
“So I can take off my blindfold?”
I’m already reaching for it when TJ stops me. “Not yet, baby.”
I suck in a deep breath, the anticipation making me restless, and shift my weight from one leg to the other. I can hear TJ unzipping his backpack and moving around. He keeps me on the edge of my seat for a few minutes—although it feels like years—before finally putting me out of my misery.
I feel his presence behind me as he undoes the bandana he tied around my eyes, and the fabric falls.
My ability to breathe and my composure leave me all at once.
A gorgeous waterfall cascades in the distance, and under it is what I can only describe as the clearest lake I’ve ever seen—hence the name, Crystal Lake, which is plastered over a wooden sign on my left.
Sunlight creates dappled patterns over the stones surrounding the waterfall, and tall trees tower over us, creating a sanctuary away from the rest of the world.
But the view isn’t what brings tears to my eyes.
There, a few feet away from us, is a blanket laid out on the ground with a bottle of wine, a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of pickles.
He didn’t.
I can’t believe he remembered.
My palm flies to my mouth, tears welling in my eyes until my vision is so blurry I can’t see a thing. That’s when I feel TJ’s arms circle my waist from behind.
My boyfriend inches forward, presses a kiss to my cheek, and whispers, “You were right. We never got to have a proper first date. I figured it was time we changed that.”
A tear slips down my cheek.
“Shit, are you okay? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I don’t bother trying to come up with an articulate sentence, spinning to look at him.
TJ cups my face with one hand, wiping one of my tears away with his thumb. “Did I do this? I’m so sorry?—”
His unnecessary apology is silenced by my mouth crashing against his. TJ stumbles back a step, startled by my kiss, but quickly steadies himself, his hands darting to my waist and clutching my body as tight as he possibly can.
His hands gripping my hips only fuel the desire rising deep in my stomach, and when he uses his tongue to pry my lips apart, I match every bit of the passion in his kiss, surrendering the lead to him.
The next thing I know, his hands are in my hair, and mine are splayed across his chest, tugging at the fabric of his jacket.
I thought I could just kiss him to express how grateful I am for this impromptu date, and then we could sit down, and I could watch him make faces and pretend not to hate peanut-butter-covered pickles to make me happy, but his tongue sliding against mine… the way his fingers wrap around my hair as he owns my mouth…
Let’s just say he has me singing a different tune in a matter of seconds.
Making out won’t be enough. I need everything he can give me, something I make clear by resting my hands on the buckle of his belt and playing with it.
A grunt slips from his throat when I trace my fingers along the waistband of his briefs, and his hips automatically buck forward. I can tell he didn’t mean to do that because when I run my left hand over the bulge in his pants, he does it again, a low groan escaping him.
“Mattson…” His warning flips a switch in my brain.
I don’t even realize what I’m doing, dropping to my knees in front of him before I can blink.
I’ve never sucked his cock before. Well… there was that one time in the shed, but I didn’t go all the way before I left him stranded with a boner. This time, I intend to start and finish the job.
His mouth falls open at the sight of me on my knees. “Fuck, baby, you don’t have to… That’s not why I did all this.”
I blink up at him, palming him over his jeans. “Are you saying you don’t want me to?”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “No, I just…” I squeeze him tighter, and his nostrils flare. “…I’m saying you don’t owe me anything.”
I blink up at him. “Well, I’m saying I want your cock in my mouth. You okay with that?”
His eyes flare. “For fuck’s sake, Lacey. You’re going to make me come in my pants like a fucking teenager.”
The corners of my mouth lift into a smile as I scan the vicinity to make sure no one’s around and then unzip his pants before shoving them down in one go.
I have no doubt, from the outside, I probably look like I’m going to die if I don’t get his clothes off right now, and honestly? It’s a genuine concern. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life.
His cock springs out between us, hard and thick, and I close my fist around the head, taking the tip inside my mouth and sucking as hard as I can. His head falls back instantly, his mouth hanging open as I sweep my tongue all over his length one, two, three times. He hisses through his teeth when my hand joins my tongue. Usually, I’d start slow, but hearing the noises he makes and seeing the look on his face, it drives me insane with power.
I want to see what he looks like when he’s about to come in my mouth. I refuse to miss a second of his pleasure, and even though my eyes are starting to well with tears because of his size, it doesn’t stop me from taking him deeper.
I nearly gag when his tip hits the back of my throat, but the look on his face more than makes up for it. He has his eyes closed, his mouth open, and his face? Jesus . He looks like he’s basking in ecstasy. It makes me want to see how far I can go and how much I can handle.
I can’t help dipping my hand into my pants and underwear and rubbing my clit in quick circles.
His eyes snap open, heat reflecting in them as he glances down at me.
“You like that? Being at my mercy? How’s it feel to know I can do whatever I want to you?” I tease him, continuing to fist him down. This is one of the first times I’ve been in command. He’s usually so dominant, but I’m loving this switch-up.
It’s as though I’ve poked the beast when he grips my hair and rasps, “It feels like I might have to remind you who’s in control here.”
Next thing I know, he’s applying pressure to the back of my head and driving his cock in and out of my mouth so fast I can barely breathe. I have to grip his thighs with both hands to steady myself as he growls and buries his cock between my lips over and over again.
He’s full-on fucking my face, never relenting even when I gag around him. “Who’s in charge now, baby?”
I look up at him through teary eyes, the blowjob turning sloppy from all the excess saliva in my mouth, and he lets out a groan I can only describe as animalistic.
“ Fuckk , lay down.” TJ pulls out of my mouth as I oblige, lying on my back on the blanket. TJ’s removing the last of his clothes and climbing on top of me in the blink of an eye.
Remember when I said I looked desperate to get him naked? Well, considering he damn near ripped out the seams of my pants when he yanked them down my legs, I’d say we’re having the same predicament.
He’s got me naked in the middle of a national park in a matter of seconds, and I don’t even care that some random hikers might accidentally stumble upon us having sex out in the open.
TJ grabs my cheeks with one hand and brings his face inches away from mine as he says, “Answer me. Who’s in charge?”
I don’t answer, shooting him a look that’s dripping with defiance.
“What was that? I didn’t hear quite you.”
His fingers slip inside me a heartbeat later, and he smirks, giving my pussy a few pumps before grabbing himself at the base and positioning his tip at my entrance.
“Nothing? All right. Maybe this will clear things up for you.”
He fills me up with a single thrust.
My back arches the second his cock enters me, the friction making my eyes roll back in their sockets. TJ’s mouth drops open as he buries himself so deep inside me I can’t help but claw at his back, marking his skin all over.
“Oh my fucking…” His voice trails off, the pleasure contorting his face setting my insides ablaze. “ Jesus, Lace… I’m never going to get over how tight this little pussy is.”
He pumps his hips once. Twice. His rhythm increases with each moan slipping from my lips. The next thing I know, he’s pounding me like it’s do or die, the sound of my arousal pervading the air, along with the sound of skin slapping together.
So many noises, and yet, my only focus is the noises coming out of him. The beastly, carnal groans ripping from somewhere deep in his chest. It’s as though the animal in TJ has risen to the surface and stepped into power, seizing control of him as he rams himself inside me over and over, never once slowing down as my breasts bounce furiously.
“You feel so good, baby. Your pussy was made for me. Every inch of you was made for me.”
I can tell he means it.
He genuinely believes I was made for him. That we’re a match like no other. And I’d be inclined to agree… if it weren’t for the fact that I’m so damn afraid of choosing someone who will eventually stop choosing me.
Everything happens for a reason, I know that much. But what if sometimes those reasons are shitty, ridiculous reasons that have no purpose other than to bring us pain?
What if we meet certain people precisely so that they can break us? Teach us the tragedy that is human love.
Love is no stranger to loss, and to experience one is to risk crossing paths with the other. If you’re ever unlucky enough to lose your love, remember what it was like to exist in this silly little world without them.
Try to find comfort in the fact that, at the very least, you got to love, however brief it might’ve been. And who knows… the next love might be the one who stays.
Please, Universe… let Mathias Jacobs be the one who stays.
It’s as though TJ just became a mind reader when he plants slow, torturous kisses against the side of my neck and says, “Don’t ever leave me, Lace. Don’t ever fucking leave me. I need you to promise.”
Tears are welling in my eyes, and by the time I manage to collect myself, TJ’s already bruised my neck with a hickey. “I won’t, I promise.”
TJ plants a kiss against the curve of my jaw and then sits up, taking my wrist into his hand and pulling me backward. “Yeah? Then show me. Show me that you mean it.”
I’m straddling him in no time, clutching his face for a kiss before lowering myself onto his length until he’s balls-deep inside me. We both moan at the friction, and I rest my hands on his shoulders to support myself as I move upward and then back down.
TJ throws his head back with a groan, his big hands falling to my ass. “That’s right, baby. Take my fucking cock.”
I pick up the tempo, riding him faster and harder, but my eyes are still teary, and I refuse to meet his gaze, hoping that he won’t notice just how close I am to falling apart.
“Hey.” TJ’s voice falls to a murmur, the worry in his tone amplifying the ache in my chest by a thousand. “Baby, are you okay? Look at me.”
“I’m fine. These are tears of joy.”
“Kiss me.” He grips the back of my hair and jerks me closer to crush his lips against mine as his other hand snakes down my stomach toward my clit. I cry out when he captures my clit between two fingers and pinches it. “I want you to come on my cock. Can you do that for me?”
I nod, chewing down onto my bottom lip to the point of making myself bleed. TJ begins rotating my clit in precise circles, letting me do most of the work while I bounce up and down on him.
His mouth finds mine again, and he sweeps his tongue across the seam of my mouth. The kiss is so intense and all-consuming I can’t think straight. The bundle of nerves between my legs is so overstimulated I have to close my eyes in order to focus on the pleasure.
My eyes snap open a few minutes later, the pressure shattering inside me leaving me breathless. I can tell he’s close, too, just by the way his eyes flare. The fact that my body is so in tune with his, even when my heart feels brittle in my chest, is amazing. TJ could make me come on my worst day.
I squeeze my eyes shut again. “TJ, I’m?—”
“I know, baby. Just let it go.”
I buck my hips at his command, gasping when TJ increases the speed of his rubbing, and my stomach clenches. He pinches my clit at the same time I come wildly, and I can’t quiet my own moans, barely able to hold myself up as he drives his cock faster inside me.
“Fuck, Lace, I’m going to blow.”
He starts to spasm, the look on his face nearly as satisfying as the massive orgasm I just had, and kisses me as he spills inside me, pumping his hips until he’s given me every last drop.
He never separates from me as he comes, still owning my mouth like the world-class kisser that he is, and I’m grateful he doesn’t see the anguish on my face.
I cup his face to ensure he won’t pull away and realize that I’m broken inside.
Not because of what just happened, but because of how much it’ll hurt when he inevitably walks away.
I’m in love with him. Being with him is an absolute dream.
And I’m petrified.
Because a dream as beautiful as this can only end in one way…
With a harsh, brutal, and soul-crushing awakening.