5. Blair
FIVE
blair
“Why’d you force my hand, Amoy?”
I’d gotten good at pretending to be sleep as a kid. Sometimes Sean caught on, but last night he’d been tired. I heard the exhaustion in his voice.
Felt it in my bones as if we were one.
When he fell asleep, I savored his skin against mine for as long as I could keep myself awake.
I missed him so much it ached; we’d been so busy lately, hardly able to talk or see one another. Something told me he felt like I did this because of that, for his attention. I hadn’t.
Rolling over onto my stomach, I rested my head inside my arms and stared at the empty space beside me.
It was morning now and Sean had left without waking me or saying a word other than his question from last night.
But since he assumed I was sleep, it didn’t count.
He’d gotten his fill then went on his way, leaving me with a heavy heart.
The silent treatment would hurt but I had to endure. I had to stay the course, for myself and him.
“Hellooooo! Blair? Are you awake yet?”
I scrambled into a sitting position and frowned.
Was I allowed guest now?
Yesterday, Sean’s security had turned away anyone who wanted to see me, including Esi.
My mother entered my room a second later, her gaze bouncing around before landing on me.
“I’ve been here for an hour and you’re still in this bed,” she fussed, pressing a button on the mounted power pad to lift my blinds. “We have an appointment on the books and its nonnegotiable. I need you dressed and ready to leave in an hour.”
He sent my mother to deal with me.
“Ma, have you talked to Sean?”
She stopped short of walking into my closet and turned to look at me over her shoulder.
“I have. Why?”
I frowned.
“Are you mad at me, too?”
“I have no reason to be upset with you, baby girl. Your soon-to-be husband, however, is another story. I’m simply here to help you get ready for the big day, which is quickly approaching. Now get up and get ready.”
What the fuck was happening?
I got out of bed and crossed my arms, while my mother—who should be on my side—went into the closet as if all of this was normal.
“Can I know what the two of you talked about?” I asked, annoyed with myself for wanting to know, but stepping into the closet to see her face anyway.
“Nothing other than him asking me to make sure you’re prepared.”
“There’s going to be a ceremony?”
She nodded but didn’t elaborate.
I screamed as hard and loud as I could to release the frustration bubbling up inside of me, startling my ma so bad her thick locs fell from the bun she’d secured them in.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Everything!” I yelled, storming out of the bedroom toward the kitchen after snatching up my phone from the dresser. “And nothing at the same time!”
I needed coffee before I brushed my teeth and did what was asked of me. Just a moment to stew in my feelings.
Having a ceremony surprised me. I’d been certain Sean would have a judge in my living room when I woke to marry us.
No dress.
Or family.
Yet, he was giving me one anyway. Maybe for another purpose but I wouldn’t complain about it. We all had our agendas to follow.
On the counter, I found breakfast and a fresh pot of coffee already brewed. As I damn near guzzled the much needed caffeine, I called Jaslyn.
“Good morning, B,” she greeted upon answer. “I have court in twenty minutes. You have eight.”
I chuckled and bit into a piece of bacon.
“Just wanted you to know they looked into you.”
She hummed.
“Figured they would. You aren’t worried, are you?”
“Not in the least. I’ll do my best to stop by your office this week but I’m a little tied up at the moment.”
“You haven’t told him you’re doing this, huh?”
There were a lot of things Sean didn’t know, a lot of things he wouldn’t appreciate being in the dark about.
I made my life much more difficult than it needed to be.
“Not yet but I will whenever I see him.”
“I advise doing so before the news does. If negotiations don’t go as planned, the entire east coast will hear about it. And we can’t guarantee they won’t figure out who’s paying this bill.”
Whether my father settled out of court or not, exposing him was the goal.
A man in his position, with the connections he’d forged, will do anything to keep this under wraps.
“On it. Thanks again for doing this. I know your husband isn’t a fan.”
She chuckled and I could almost see the smile stretching across her face at the mention of her man.
“Ashton will be fine. He’ll just follow me around until it’s over, so thanks. I love when he plays bodyguard.”
I bet she did.
“Alright, I have to go but I’ll be in touch soon.”
“Now that you’re finished,” my mother started the second I set my phone down, entering the kitchen with her hands on her hips. “Go get ready.”
I stepped back from the counter, closed my eyes and counted to ten. After a few deep breaths, I went and did as I was told.
Just get through the day, Blair.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” my ma asked about forty-five minutes later, her gaze perusing my baggy grey sweats, black and white dunks, form fitting black long sleeved body suit and knee length coat. “You could’ve been done in fifteen if that’s the case.”
I put my sunglasses on and then rolled my eyes behind them.
Did I need them in the dead of winter, not really. But, it helped keep the permanent annoyed expression, I got when my mom came around, private.
“I look cute and feel comfortable. Goal accomplished.”
On a normal day, maybe I would’ve put a little more effort into my fit. I enjoyed being the best dressed bitch in every room but that meant layering and I wasn’t in the mood.
“Besides,” I went on, unlocking the hallway closet I’d converted into a gun safe. “With everything going on, I need more room to carry.”
The sigh from behind me made my trigger finger itch.
“Blair…”
“Don’t start, ma. You can choose to be with that man but I refuse to have him in my life.”
She’d been turning a blind eye to my father’s indiscretions all my life, even now. Never actually standing up for me when it mattered most.
As a kid, I thought I needed to take one for the team. But as a grown ass woman, I understand someone should’ve protected me.
I loved my mother with all my heart but I could never rely on her in the way I could rely on Sean and his family. Mad or not he would never let anyone disrespect, let alone hurt me.
He’d set fire to the world on my behalf and that’s why I had to do what I did. It’s why I had to keep moving forward no matter the consequences.
“Where are we going?” I asked, moving the conversation along as I secured the Sig P365 on my hip and another in my bag.
“Manhattan for a dress fitting. There’s a standing appointment at the Designer Loft.”
I nodded, locked the gun safe and set the alarm.
“Let’s get to it.”
As we slid into the elevator, I studied my ma. She was stiff with her jaw clinched, hands balled into a fist like she had something to say.
Mmm.
She wouldn’t though and I wasn’t about to force it out of her either.
We cleared the lobby quickly, but I still took note of the faces working today. Sean had sent his men away and left mine to do their jobs.
Except for the driver waiting for us outside. I was certain he belonged to the O’Sullivan camp.
“Good morning, Ms. Phillips. I’m Liam and I’ll be your driver and personal guard from today on.”
I peeked at him over my sunglasses, taking in his deep dark eyes.
“Nice to meet you, Liam. Who do you answer to? Me or Sean?”
He tipped his head and then said, while opening the back door, “My orders are to follow yours.”
My ma slid in first and just as I was about to, I looked over my shoulder and asked, “That tracking device under the hood, am I allowed to have you remove it?”
Sean could track me by phone and the Celtic knot pendant I never took off. But I needed the car squeaky clean.
“Is that an order or request?”
I chuckled and slid into my seat.
“Let’s make it an order. Once we reach Manhattan, I want it gone.”
Liam nodded and we got on the road.
Meet me at the Designer Loft. And bring what I need.
It was going to be one of those days and nothing could convince me otherwise.