11. Blair
ELEVEN
blair
4:23 A.M.
I tasted him on my tongue long after he came on it; my lips, too.
“You still make my heart race,” I whispered, pulling the shirt I’d laid out for him over my head. “C-can you hug me?”
Sean tugged my body into his without hesitation and I almost burst into tears.
I could handle controlled orgasms, but not having his affection made me physically sick. My heart wouldn’t be able to take much more of this.
He made me so weak.
“No matter what, I love you, Amoy,” he whispered, fingers slipping down my back to cuff my ass. “And I know how much you love me, iight?”
I nodded and he kissed my forehead.
“Don’t break down on me yet. I can’t be mad if you do that. Let me stew a little.”
But I didn’t mind being weak for him; I didn’t mind suffering a little, because he’d do the same if the roles were reversed.
“I know you know who Esmeralda is,” I said, pulling back to give what I promised. “And that I’ve been working for her grandfather as a… liaison, I guess.”
“I’m aware.”
Over the years I’d gotten this knack for reading a room and the people in it; it started with Sean teaching me the art of body language that turned into an obsession with the human body and how it reacts outwardly to stress, fear and loss. Now, its translated into picking out liars and traitors in organizations like the Constanzo cartel.
Meeting Esi the week after freshman year started, saving her life, it opened more doors than I could account for.
“And that… doesn’t bother you?”
I started walking backward and he followed.
“Not particularly. Is it supposed to?”
His lack of expression made me wonder how hard he’d make getting this all out. The stoicism really had me shook.
“Not exactly, no,” I said, turning to summon the elevator. “I wanted you to meet her, so it doesn’t feel like we’re sneaking around the city together behind your back doing her grandfather’s bidding. That isn’t the case. I know how to move in O’Sullivan territory.”
He hummed as we stepped into the elevator.
“What are you getting out of it? More than just experience, I hope.”
I thought I heard a twinge of jealousy in his cadence, but what could he possibly be jealous of?
“I get to be the best version of myself for you,” I said, blowing him a kiss as we stepped off the elevator before I could stop myself. “But seriously, I think I could do a better job than my dad. And Augusto agreed to help with that as long as I helped Esmeralda handle a transport problem they’ve been having.”
He stood back as I unlocked the wall safe where I’d stashed the laptop and phone Esi brought to the dress shop.
“Everything I know about what Landell’s been up to is on these…” I set them on the table. “I didn’t know Augusto’s problem would lead to New York or that your family was roped in somehow until the hack job popped up. It looked like the Constanzo’s were the target.”
I turned on the monitors along the back wall to check the security feed outside. It gave me something to do while I explained the situation to him as best I could.
“Augusto asked me to take it on and I accepted, not knowing it involved your family until the details were sent. I could have backed out and clued you in but someone else was going to take the job no matter what I did, Oisin.”
When met with silence for too long, I glanced over my shoulder to see he’d already powered on the phone and computer.
“How’d you figure out it was Landell?” he asked, pulling a chair out to sit.
The fourth floor was nothing but a gutted office space turned security and safe room.
“Every coder has a signature,” I said, walking up behind him. “I recognized Niamh’s immediately in the source code. When I sent proof of completion I added a bug to the URL. Once clicked, it exposed his location and IP address to me.”
He hummed and swiped through the correspondences.
“Elaborate on Constanzo’s transport issue.”
Maybe I took too long to respond because Sean looked over his shoulder and lifted an eyebrow, almost as if he were challenging who I’m most loyal to.
Had I really lost so much of his trust?
“All of their ground routes were compromised when Esmeralda’s dad was murdered,” I said, shaking off my feelings to get this over with quickly. “Three shipments from New York to Florida were hijacked and the transporters killed before they caught on. None of them were picked up by police or feds. Someone is making moves but Landell isn’t smart enough to do it on his own. I think he has a backer and tried to figure it out but Niamh caught onto the flaw in her code before I could.”
“Do you know who Meechie is?”
“I only heard his name recently from some of Esmeralda’s men. Right now it looks like he’s the middleman between Landell and the mystery backer.”
“Word on my side is he’s Landell’s son, what do you think about that?”
I slipped into the chair beside him, drawn to the way he picked my brain for information. Or maybe he was testing me.
“It could be a fluke to explain his sudden presence,” I said, wanting him to challenge that, to make me think of the bigger picture. “What… do you think?”
“I think had you come to me we could’ve worked together on this,” he said, almost solemnly.
Was that…
“I—”
“Tell me…” his eyes met mine and I got lost in them. “What is it you want from this, Blair? To be the best version of yourself for me in what way?”
He never missed a thing I said, no matter how insignificant I tried to make it.
“I want to be your second-in-command,” I confessed, throwing all caution to the wind. “Been working toward it since the day I asked to change our plans.”
Sean set the phone down and faced me, a slight twitch in his lips I would’ve missed had I not been watching him.
“You want in the mob?”
I nodded, afraid but not as much as I thought I’d be.
“That’s where you are.”
“And you want to take your dad’s place?”
That question made me smile.
“It’s as good as mine once I really get started,”
I said with confidence.
He leaned forward, eyes peering deeply into mine.
“Tadhg is gunning for your spot,” he said softly, the tiny smirk on his lips growing. “What do you plan to do about that?”
“You’d let me?”
That almost smile immediately dropped.
“Let you?” he asked. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”
I couldn’t fix my mouth to say it because it meant elaborating on things I preferred to keep at the back of my mind. Things he witnessed and didn’t.
“I see now…” he nodded, reading my mind and heart like always. “This is bigger than me, than us . I know you’ve always felt inferior to them and this is your way of showing you have the power now.”
“You’re the number one reason I want this,” I told him. “Everything else comes second to us, Oisin. But yes, I do want to show I’m capable to everyone who thinks otherwise.”
His fingers found their way to my face again and I leaned into the touch.
“I have to admit I felt a little jealous you hadn’t come to me but decided to rely on the Constanzo’s.”
“It’s not—”
He shook his head and touched his forehead to mine.
“I understand you, Amoy,” he whispered. “I saw you at your lowest and you wouldn’t let me help. You wanted me to see you at your strongest the same way, right?”
I nodded. “Yes, but I’m regretting it because I made you feel—”
Sean’s lips brushed mine and I froze, not sure if it was an accident or something more.
“You’re capable and I support you.” He pulled back and I wished he hadn’t. “As for wanting to be my second, the door is open but the rest is up to you.”
“When will… Can you forgive me now?”
I sounded whiny even to my own eyes.
He propped an arm up on the table and leaned his head into the palm of his hand, eyes staring sleepily into mine.
“It’s the first time you’ve begged for something other than this dick. I’m quite enjoying it.”
“Is that what you need?” I asked, resting my head in my palm like him. “For me to beg you more often?”
Sean smiled and I enjoyed every second before he took it away to respond.
“Yeah, I do. Can I have that?”
I slid my freehand hand across the table and his moved too. He pushed his fingers through mine and simultaneously our other arms dropped and so did our heads.
“You can have that,” I finally said, heart thudding as he stared so intently at me. “Stop, Oisin.”
He still made me feel like a girl with a serious crush.
“Stop what, Amoy?”
“Giving me those eyes.”
His lips tipped up and I scoffed playfully.
“Ask nicely and maybe I’ll listen.”
What I really heard was beg me but truthfully I liked when he looked at me as if he were having a private conversation with my soul.
“Actually, I change my mind. Don’t ever stop looking at me like you do.”
He sat up and removed his hand from mine, our moment was officially over just like that.
“I’m tired. Come get in bed with me and we’ll talk more tomorrow. Clear your schedule for a couple hours in the morning, my da wants to see you.”
I followed him back up to the apartment, a sense of dread filling me about seeing his dad.
Darragh was a tough cookie to crack and he’d never been a fan of mine. But I wasn’t my father and I loved his son.
We were either going to figure it out or be at odds for life.