12. Sean
TWELVE
sean
Blair and I sat across from my da and uncle Eoghan, silence doing the talking far longer than I cared for.
“Read this aloud when you’re ready,” Eoghan finally said, setting a piece of paper on the desk in front of her. “It’ll be destroyed afterward.”
She leaned in and took her time quietly reading it.
“You put this in motion, didn’t you?” Blair asked, gaze meeting mine as she sat back. “Because of what I said last night?”
It had nothing to do with last night or finding out that she wanted to be my second and everything to do with becoming my wife.
All she’d done up until now prepared her for this and all to possibly come.
“That’s standard for the wife of the Boss,” I said. “Marrying me means you are automatically part of the mob.”
I could hear the questions twisting around inside her head, but that was a conversation for later.
“In what capacity you choose to be involved is up to you,” my da said. “But it is tradition and his mother also took the oath before we got married.”
She crossed her arms.
“Was he not allowed to tell me sooner?”
Blair was going to be my wife regardless, but before yesterday, taking the oath was nothing more than a way to safeguard the family and her.
“That’s a discussion you two should have after this,” Eoghan said, his bushy eyebrows lifted. “You can say no, however—”
Blair shook her head before he could continue and snatched up the paper.
“I, Blair Amoy Phillips, do solemnly swear to uphold the belief and practices of the Mob but most importantly the O’Sullivan family and its Boss, Sean Oisin O’Sullivan.”
Eoghan flicked the lighter he’d been holding and held it beneath the piece of paper. Blair dropped it in the ashtray and we all watched it burn until there was nothing left.
“Did you get what you wanted out of this?” my da asked.
“Not yet,” Blair said simply, sitting back again.
Her choosing not to elaborate put a little smirk on my face.
My da looked at me as if I’d answer for her and I lifted a shoulder. Whatever he wanted to know he’d have to get it out of her himself and respectfully or we’d have a problem.
“Care to elaborate,” da asked.
She hummed like she was thinking about it and I could tell my father was losing patience.
Blair didn’t need me to step in though. She was far removed from the defeated thirteen year old I’d met.
“Actually, I don’t…” our eyes met when she said it and I felt like what came out of her mouth next had more to do with me than my da. “But I also know I need your trust, so here’s what I will say…” her gaze drifted away but mine stayed locked in place. “First, my father’s position will be up for grabs soon and I plan to take it from my brother. Me taking the oath doesn’t change that. Second, I have an alliance in place with the Constanzo family that I won’t break unless deemed absolutely necessary. Last but not least, my loyalty belongs solely to Sean. I will never hurt him intentionally and that loyalty extends to his family. To you. ”
My da’s lips twitched.
Blair had always thought he didn’t like her, but truthfully, the man liked when the women my brothers and I chose reminded him of our ma. To him, having a strong woman by your side was important in this life.
She had to be able to hold her own.
Cian found that in Gianna.
Finnegan found it in Violet.
I looked at the woman who in less than forty-eight hours would be my wife. She had a new air about her, one that said don’t fuck with me and I liked that shit.
“And how do you plan to make up for what you’ve done?” my uncle asked, stepping around the desk and perching up against it.
He wasn’t directly in front of Blair but close enough that I switched from leaning away from her.
She noticed the move and smiled a little in my direction before looking up at my uncle.
He was harmless when it came to women but he was a hulk of a man like my da and slightly intimidating because of it.
“I’m not sure what I’m making up for other than breaking a promise to Sean,” Blair said. “Had I not taken that job, someone else would have. I would never hurt this family.”
My da and uncle shared a look I knew all too well. This wasn’t just a test for Blair but for me too.
I’d been wondering how my father could let so many cracks form in our foundation without noticing or saying anything, but maybe he’d done it on purpose to see how I’d fix it without his help.
Our eyes met and I knew I was right.
“Give me a minute with the two of them,” I said to Blair. “They understand who you’re loyal to and so do I.”
She got up and when the door clicked shut behind her, I lifted an eyebrow at my da.
“I know what she means to you,” he said, leaning back in his executive chair. “That doing this life without her would be agonizing.”
“We both do,” Eoghan added as he sat in the chair Blair had occupied. “And it’s important to have something or someone sacred once you take the oath again.”
I nodded.
“Both of you knew about Landell and the guns shops in Brooklyn Heights. Was that not something I should’ve known before coming home?”
They leaned back at the same time and I hated when they did this shit. When I said I needed to be in sync with someone, my uncle and da were the definition of that.
It annoyed the fuck out of me but I respected it all the same.
“We thought it’d be better if you saw for yourself,” Eoghan said. “The twins were managing until you returned.”
I had more to say.
“Landell and Nathaniel are mixed up in this. Did you know your inner circle was infested?”
Driver or not, Landell was probably one of the most important to keep an eye on. Because he wasn’t exactly in the ranks but he had access to shit most wouldn’t.
Contrary to Landell’s belief, there was power in being the Boss’s driver. And he was using it against us all while thinking he might actually succeed.
“The minute I found out, Eoghan made moves to get you home. I stepped back and unofficially gave the power to you. No need for a driver. Letting Landell run rampant since is only meant to draw out all the players on the board.”
Mmm.
“And what moves exactly did my uncle make?”
I posed the question as if it were for my father, but my gaze had already locked onto the man beside me.
“I tracked the hack back to Blair before Niamh figured it out,” he said nonchalantly. “We decided exposing her early didn’t make sense. She’d unknowingly uncovered it was Landell behind the job to us, and if she could do the rest, why stop it?”
I frowned and my da fucking laughed as he leaned forward.
“She’s brilliant,” he said, the smile gone from his face as if it hadn’t been there. “Never met anyone well versed in so much like Eoghan until her. And because Finnegan can’t do it, Blair is who you need as your second.”
If I killed them both would everyone hate me? I thought as my gaze moved between them.
“Let me just… Let me make sure I’m understanding. You two thought instead of, I don’t know, picking up the phone and saying I’m needed in New York that luring me back was the better idea?”
I locked eyes with my da.
“You gave me a bogus ultimatum about killing the love of my life or marrying her because you knew what I’d choose.”
And then it fucking hit me as the words left my lips.
“No, you did it to ensure I chose her as my second.”
It wasn’t a question and neither answered.
“You’ve been tracking her all this time and figured out this is what she wanted.”
More silence.
“Your suggestion is noted.” I shook my head and stood. “Don’t involve yourselves from this point on. I got it.”
A weird feeling slowly spread through me and rooted itself in my fucking chest, right over my heart.
I didn’t really understand it but then my da spoke and reminded me of something I had finally forgotten.
“You can hide it from her but you can’t hide it from me. What happened to your grandmother didn’t happen to your mother and it won’t happen to Blair.”
We were allowed our own secrets to an extent.
There was one thing Blair didn’t know about me, a fear I kept to myself because I wanted her to live freely without the burden.
My grandmother dying in front of me changed everything and nothing at the same time. It’d been so far in the back of my mind, I wasn’t sure if I was projecting any of it in my personality or decisions.
Is that why she kept so much a secret? Because she felt that shit anyway?
The door opened before I got to it and Finnegan stepped in with a silly smile on his face.
“Did I miss something important?” he asked, frowning like we knew he’d be here.
“I’ll tell you when it’s time,” I said.
He nodded and turned toward our da, a request on his lips he’d never get to make.
“I know why you’re really here and the answer is yes,” our da said as he stood. “Schedule it with Eoghan, then convince Gianna to do the same and I’ll feel better about leaving all of this to the four of you.”
He kept talking and we followed him all the way to the kitchen, where Blair, Violet and my ma were.
“Lastly, help Rían find someone worthy. I’m concerned about that one.”
The fuck was my da going on about?
“You seem really invested in our love lives,” Finnegan said. “You good? You ain’t bout to die, right? I can’t deal with that kind of headache at the moment, so keep living, big homie. Alright? Oh and while everyone is here Violet and I decided on a Valentine’s day wedding.”
Less than three weeks away , I thought.
“An all black theme,” my ma added, looking between him and Violet with concern. “I know we aren’t a normal family but does it have to be…”
Blair began to approach and all my attention shifted to her.
“Can we talk?” she asked.
I nodded and took her hand, removing ourselves from whatever the fuck my brother and his fiancée had going on and into the library.
“Sean, I—”
“The year before I met you, I watched my grandmother get shot in the head and forced myself to forget. I still… I don’t… I haven’t really let myself feel anything about it, at least I thought so. But maybe you felt the fear I have of losing you to this life in me before I realized it was there.”
She walked up on me and wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands instinctively went to her waist and applied pressure there.
“The truth is I was afraid you wouldn’t want me involved at all because of my upbringing,” she said softly, her lips and nose brushing mine. “And I wasn’t weak per se but I wasn’t who I am today, either. So, yes, maybe I felt your fear same as you felt like I needed help all those years ago. And maybe, it played a factor in how I decided to move, but it doesn’t change how you’ve always responded in support of me. So, let me support you fears and all.”
I bit her bottom lip before I could stop myself and she pressed herself closer.
“I forgive you,” I muttered into her mouth.
I always would.
She earned that kind of loyalty out of me long before today. This one fuck up in the sixteen years I’d known her deserved grace.
In truth, Blair deserved all the fucking grace in the world.