23. Matteo
CHAPTER 23
MATTEO
C onor fucking killed Dominguez’s daughter.
It changes everything.
I can’t stop the thought. I can’t stop any of the thoughts as they slice into me throughout the wedding.
Just like I couldn’t stop the sudden pain when Heaven looked at me with hope and heat and softness in her gaze. She’s utterly beautiful. Inside and out. And I wanted nothing more than to lean into that, carry the game along—a game that feels way too real. A game that feels good.
But no.
Because fucking Conor killed Dominguez’s child.
Before this, Dominguez was controllable. It stood to reason he might find out who killed his second before I was ready to let him know. And my reasoning for stepping in and offering protection for the Mulligans is something that makes sense whether fucking Conor did what he did or not.
It was the plan we had together. I stop bloodshed, which means stopping loss and taking on the risk of things going wrong for Dominguez if he tried to take the pivotal Mulligan clan out. Me taking the reins by working a business marriage with Heaven meant smooth sailing.
Conor killing his second gave me the perfect reason to do it, and it brought the Mulligans to me, had them thinking they had the upper hand which has allowed me to gain control faster.
The protection is a given. They have enemies. And I knew when Dominguez worked it out, I’d have to smooth it all over.
But this?
Fuck no.
The dangerous, deadly part is Dominguez kept this secret from everyone. Everyone.
And knowing he kept it secret that his daughter had been shot…
That was, and is, out of left field.
I do my research. I take my time. I never would have entered into any of this without having had my eye on the family for a long time. It had seemed the stars had aligned, and having Heaven was simply a bonus and a boon to my plans. And now…
My plans are in free fall and worse, I’m not sure I can get through this with Heaven. Not that she’s mine or will ever be. But there’s no quick way out of it for her. If I whisk her away, my reputation will stumble. And then Dominguez will burn things down.
He’ll risk his life and empire because he’s just lost the one thing he loved. Maybe the only thing.
And his eyes are on Heaven.
I want to say I don’t give a fuck about her, but that conversation with Jorge changed everything. Brought an ugly clarity to me.
I care.
And that’s the worst thing I could ever do.
I care for her. It’s not sex. It’s her . Everything about her. She’s crept under my skin, found her way into me and now… Shit.
I could let her go. I know I have to. Even if things were different, we’d never survive me doing what I’m going to do. But caring means the last thing I want is her hurt. And if I’m honest, that’s been there since the morning her brother pulled a gun.
The morning I could have lost her.
My heart thumps hard and loud. The entire wedding—the bullshit that happens at the fucking church after the ceremony—flashes past in a blur, and all I can think about is getting her into our own private car, the one Gio will be driving, and away from all this, to somewhere safe where I can think, where I can recalibrate and work out my next move. If I do this right, I can have it all, except Heaven.
I care. It’s caring, not love.
That isn’t a thing, but caring is almost as bad. It can be used, manipulated. It can bring people down.
I’ll get her the fuck away from New York. It’ll be better that way, anyway. Fewer weak spots. And I’ll have more clarity.
When we’re finally clear of our families and guests, I head for her.
My brothers and my father have tried to catch my eye. Out of everyone they know me best, and they know something is up. Heaven, too. But what the fuck was I supposed to do? Stop the wedding? Being married to me is still the safest thing. Just like me never letting her know I care is safe.
I’m almost at her side where she stands on the stone steps with her aunt when Dante moves in front of me.
“What the fuck, Matty? You aren’t playing the game. Are you in love with her? Please tell me you aren’t.”
His words shock me. They ricochet, but I push them away. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me. You’re way too into her. I can see that because you’re acting out of character. You’re acting like something’s happened. A threat.”
He knows me a little too well.
“What happened?”
I pull at the bow tie. “That obvious?”
“Only to me.” His eyes grow hard. “This Dominguez deal. You’re not being honest, are you?”
“There’s more to it,” I say evenly. “But nothing I can’t handle.”
“You have your family here. Don’t shut us out. Dominguez is a nasty piece of work. I can take him out for you. Just say the word.”
I close my eyes and almost sway on my feet. I would love that. But if it were that easy, I’d have gone and done it, and he knows that, too. “It’s better this way.”
“You have feelings for her?—”
“Dante—”
“I see it. But, brother, you don’t need to protect us. Not for a long time. We can help with whatever you’re up to.”
I take a breath but shake my head. “I’m good.”
And then I sidestep him and continue to my bride. She’s looking at me and it steals my breath.
She’s hurt. I see it in her eyes, hurt because I’ve shut down, taken that carefully built closeness from her in an instant, without explanation.
Shit. I go to her and take her hand, making the necessary small talk I need to with her family and other important underworld people, and then I lead her away to the car, gripping her hand so tightly I can feel her delicate bones.
But as we stand at the curb waiting for Gio to get the door and finish a sweep of the surrounding area with others on his earpiece, I can feel her questions mounting. I know she’s not going to take me going back to the cold bastard she first met.
I’m going to have to say something.
The woman is so fucking Irish she could be Italian. She’s packed with passion of all kinds, and she’s not one to let things go. Heaven might be able to do that with her family, bide her time, but I’m different.
We’re different, and it’s not the vows exchanged or the deal.
It’s us.
My blood turns cold.
We’re connected.
Somehow, some way, we’re connected.
Dante’s words come back to me, and no matter how I try to twist them, or banish them, they stay bright and center and clear.
Gio nods, gives me a look that signals the all clear, and opens the door. We climb in.
I lean back on the leather seat, thinking and waiting.
I don’t have to wait long.
Heaven stabs the partition separating us from Gio and turns to me. “Is there something going on I don’t know about?”
I close my eyes a moment. Conor will have heard the news. Declan, too. It’s only a matter of time before the entire underworld is on fire with this whole thing. But it’s only me and the Mulligans who know the devastating meaning of it. And if I don’t tell Heaven, someone else will. Might as well be me.
Her loving husband.
Fuck.
“Yes.”
She doesn’t say a word, even though I can tell she wants to rage, and I almost smile. But really, there’s nothing humorous in this situation at all.
“I know this isn’t real, and I might have bought into it a little too much.” She pauses. “For the show of the wedding. But we’ve changed, we’re closer. We have…an understanding. At least I thought we did.”
“Heaven…” Fuck. How did things get complicated in this way? Emotions are messy, and I keep away from them. But this redhead with fire-green eyes seems to have made a part of me forget that.
I need to tell her the truth, or as close to it as I can. Because I’m sending her the fuck away. It’s the only thing I can do. And if I have any chance of doing that without drugging her—which I will if I have to—then the truth, the latest Dominguez event, anyway, is the only way that might happen.
“Dominguez knows for sure it was Conor who killed Santos Rojas.”
She frowns, shifting on the leather seat, the white beaded gown and train surrounding her. It gives her an airy, magical look. And that red hair with the rose lips…she’s enough to cause even my black heart to miss a beat or three. “We knew that would happen.”
I glance out the window, trying not to shift or seem overly concerned. “I know. But this is bad.”
“That’s what I’m here for and you know it. Right? Dad and Conor were talking, so I figured that’s what was up. Is that why you iced me out at the wedding?”
I shoot her a look. “It was for your own good.”
Her nostrils flare. “If you don’t start talking, I’ll get Gio to give me his gun and I’ll shoot you.”
“He’d never do it.”
She narrows her eyes, and they spark angry green fire. “He will. He likes me.”
Actually, he might. He’s scared of me, but he does like her, and I suspect he’s a little more afraid of a temperamental redhead than of me. With me, he knows what he’s going to get.
I sigh. I have to play this very, very carefully.
Not just with her, but everyone.
Everything.
“Heaven, I didn’t ice you out.” I stop and sit up and go to take her hand but she snatches it away. “I needed to think, because this is big.”
She goes still. “What do you mean? I thought… Start talking, Matteo.”
“Conor didn’t kill just him,” I say. “He shot two people. The second one just died and it’s spreading now, the story. Everyone in the underworld will step away from the culprit. From Conor.”
She leans into me and grabs my thigh. “You better talk, Matteo. Who did he kill?”
“Dominguez’s daughter.”
Heaven gasps. “Are you sure?”
I nod, rubbing the back of my neck. “He came to find me outside of the church. Now I need to readjust my approach.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if it were just Conor in his sights, I’d maybe let it happen, let Dominguez kill him. But Dominguez is gearing up for something massive, and my protection might not be enough.” I look at her. “I’m going to send you to Italy so I can take care of this.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not a child,” she snaps, clenching her fists.
I give her a cold, hard look. “Then don’t act like it.”
“I’m an underboss, how will it look?”
“I don’t give a fuck how it looks. I’d prefer you alive over dead.”
She pushes up and sticks her face near mine. I grab her by the shoulders, the car lurching on the street as Gio pulls up at a light. “You don’t think I can look after myself?”
“I can’t worry about you and deal with this. It isn’t a game. He’s bad news and you know it.”
And it’s true. That shocks me, shaking me down to my bones.
“You—”
“Heaven, I don’t give a fuck what you think. You’re going. I’ll deal with this and send for you after.”
I won’t. She’ll be staying there. But I’ll protect her.
“So…what do we do now?”
“We go to the damn reception, we live it up, and we put on the best act of our lives,” I say. “I’m going to wait a week, because if I make a move now, Dominguez will be watching.”
“And perceive you as weak.”
“Yes. Instead, we act like you’re staying?—”
“I am.”
I ignore her. “And then, when the time is right, I’ll send you to safety. He wants you, Heaven. And believe me, you’ll wish you were dead if that happened. If he got you, well, you know what he does.”
“I’ve heard the stories.”
“They aren’t stories.” I pin her down with a hard look because dear fucking God, I’m suddenly, totally scared for her. “Not one word.”
She’s silent a long time. Then, she says, “So we go and pretend everything is fine and then what? You sneak me away?”
“Something like that,” I say. “Remember what you told me about your cousin?”
Her eyes narrow.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but the words that come surprise me. “I had one, too. A cousin. But unlike you, Joey’s death was my fault. I fucked around instead of doing my job and keeping him safe. You, I’m keeping safe.”
“Don’t make things up, Matteo.”
I settle down and shrug, trying to appear unruffled. “Believe what you want. You aren’t going to be killed because of me. Play the game, Heaven. Or I’ll make you.”
And I will.
If I have to make her hate me, I will. If I have to get her to believe that our time together has meant nothing but sex and convenience, I’ll do it. If I have to have her really believe this is the same as it was when I set out, a business arrangement, and that things haven’t changed, I’ll fucking do it.
I’ll do anything I have to.
For her.
If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll keep my wife safe.
Even if she never forgives me. Even if she never wants to see me again in her life.
At least she’ll have one.
I hope.