24. Heaven
CHAPTER 24
HEAVEN
“W hat are you thinking about?” Matteo nuzzles my ear, sliding an arm around my waist.
I smile. We’re pretending. I know that now. He wants to send me away, and I let him think he will. But I’m not leaving New York. I’m not leaving my rightful place.
Fuck Dominguez.
Fuck these testosterone games.
And fuck Matteo for not wanting me the way I want him.
I’m his wife, yes. But it’s a business arrangement, and any stupid hopes I had are dead in the water.
His arm is a tight band around me, and his tone isn’t reflecting the picture I’m sure we make. No, his tone is a warning, a sharp reminder of the conversation back in the car.
“Nothing, dear. Except how happy you’ve made me.” I bite my fingers into his arm.
And he laughs, but there’s nothing warm in it. “Heaven, amore mio , play the game.”
I gaze at the discreet sign in front of our more upscale restaurant, The White Dove. I used to love coming here with Mom. Sudden, sharp heat blurs my vision, but I blink those tears back. She’d be utterly devastated if she knew this man didn’t want me, that our closeness was nothing more than a sham.
“I understand the game, Matteo.”
“No, you don’t. Not mine. And you…Heaven, you need to trust me, please?”
I want to shout and yell and throw things. Nothing has changed. Not with the arrangement, not with what I unwillingly went into. Unwilling, but dutiful. Except…except everything felt like it had.
I’m nothing more than a fool. I believe him about Dominguez. I can see the worry in Dad. I can see that glint in Conor’s eye.
But Matteo is threatening to take everything from me. Including himself. Even if it is a business arrangement, I want the sex. I want his time. How pathetic am I? I’m half in love with him, like a teenager stupid enough to crave spending time with a crush who uses her.
If it were just loveless, lacking even a hint of warmth, I could do this marriage and get through. Because I’d have the Mulligans, my family. But if he sends me away, he’ll step in and take over and?—
Was that the plan all along?
“Whatever you’re thinking,” he says, kissing my neck, biting a little too sharply as a warning, even as I shiver with need beneath his lips, his touch. “Stop.”
“I hate you.”
“Hate away, Heaven. It’s for the best if you do.”
There’s something in his tone and I shift, looking up at him, our faces close. “You don’t think that at all.”
“Business. We have amazing sex. I like you. But don’t read into things beyond that. And trust me.”
“Time will tell. Won’t it? I guess we’ll see if you’re lying to me or not.”
His expression grows grim, but there’s a bleakness that inexplicably sets off a thrill of hope. “It won’t, and I’m not. You should know by now I’m not a good man. I care about myself and money and power.”
“There’s no way you’d hold me like you do if that were true.” I don’t know why I’m pushing this. A glutton for nothing but punishment. But I can’t stop.
“Heaven—”
“Matteo.” I take his face in mine and kiss him. His mouth opens for me and I kiss him with everything I am, everything I have, and he tastes like he always does, like something I can’t get enough of, but it isn’t right.
He’s letting me kiss him, he’s not kissing me back.
“Damn you.” I go to pull free of him when a wildness comes into his face and he pulls me back into him and kisses me.
It’s a storm of a kiss – savage and hot and desperate and full of a need that can bleach bones. And it’s over before it began.
“Trust me, Heaven, amore mio . Play the part. Please…”
It’s the ‘please’ that does it, and I know he’s right beyond that. I nod and turn and lean my back against him. “I guess it’s apropos that we start our adventure as husband and wife like this, with things twisted and full of games and lies.”
“Yes. I suppose it is. I’ll keep you safe.”
“You and I are married, Matteo. Business or not, it’s real.” I look at him again.
We head inside and my breath is knocked from me.
The restaurant is closed off to the public for this reception, and if I can’t have what I want, which is Matteo giving me some kind of solid hope for us, I can throw myself into the pretend. And the truth.
The pretend is a fairy tale.
The truth is he’s my husband and whatever else, the heat between us, that physical thing, is real.
And then there’s the other thing, something I don’t understand, something else that’s there. So, I shut that all down and just throw myself into my role.
And this place…it’s love. The vibe is my mother’s heart. The look is chic and sophisticated with creamy white walls and décor with carefully curated splashes of bold color that add life and exuberance to the space. It’s a lot like my mother. She was always so calming and even-tempered. God, I miss her.
For the past few years, I suffered the loss of two of the women in the world who mattered most to me—my mother and Molly.
I buried myself in my work, trying to compensate for everything I’d done wrong, and build up everything I could do right.
And being here, I wonder…can I fix us? This thing with Matteo? What if I dealt with the Dominguez thing? What would happen next? It’s something to think about. But not here. Not right now.
“Matty!” A loud voice bellows from the front entrance, and Matteo’s brothers barrel up to us as I turn.
Roman gathers me up in a bear hug, then steps aside so that an older man I take to be my new father-in-law can kiss me on both cheeks before giving me a tight hug. He pulls away, a smile on his aged face. “ Bellisima, I am Matteo’s father, Paolo, ” he says, squeezing my hands tight. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you,” I say. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” I look up at his other brothers. “ All of you.”
“Matty, Romo sure was right when he said you were marrying up,” the tallest of the guys says with a movie-actor smile.
“Oh, did you, Matty ?” I mimic, nudging Matteo. I hold out my hand to his brother. “Heaven.”
“Fuck yeah, you are,” he says, waving away my hand and pulling me in for a hug. “We’re family now. And this family doesn’t do handshakes. Got that?”
“Sure do…uh, who are you, again?” I ask.
He grins wider. “Sergio. The only name you really need to remember.”
Matteo shoots a dirty look at him and a veiled one at me. Then he introduces me to the other brother, Dante.
“Always thought it’d be a cold day in hell that Matty got hitched,” Dante says. “Pretty ironic that he ended up in Heaven.”
That comment gets plenty of laughs, and it isn’t long before my brothers edge in on the action. After more hugs and well wishes, we’re surrounded by our families, holding flutes full of champagne.
And as Aunt Maura fusses and beams, and I go through the motions of a happy alliance, all I want is to get out of here.
Aunt Maura gives me a squeeze. “What kind of world would this be without our own little slice of Heaven?” she says.
“Well, it’d probably be a quieter one,” Patrick says from behind me. He and Quinn and Niall bring over shots of whiskey and hand them around. “Now that we’re done with the chick booze, let’s get to the hard stuff.”
“I resent that,” I say, swallowing the fiery, amber-colored liquid.
The shots keep coming, but Patrick pulls me away from the group, his expression curious and maybe a little incredulous.
“Heaven, is it me, or do you actually like your husband?” he asks. “Because the way you guys are acting makes me think that tonight won’t be the first time…” he clears his throat, “that Matteo’s gonna be in Heaven.”
I give his arm a whack, playing the part I’ve been ordered to play. “Patty, it’s kind of crazy to me, too.” I look back at Matteo, whose dark blue gaze is intense on me. “It just, I don’t know, happened. So fast, too. I’m still kind of in shock myself.”
“You took one for the team, that’s for damn sure. I just never expected you’d fall for the guy.”
I wish I wasn’t falling for him. But I keep that to myself. “It’s the best of both worlds, right? Everyone is safe, and things worked out for me and Matteo.”
My gut churns, reminding me all is definitely not well and that Dominguez is still a threat. But I also know Matteo will make good on his arrangement with Dad. He has a network, and if Dominguez wants to battle, Matteo will call in the troops.
I take a deep breath. Yes, everything will be fine. And I’ll do what I have to so I don’t get sent away. And Conor?
I’ll take care of Conor myself when the time comes.
“So, is it true about Italians in the bedroom?”
“I’m not talking about that with you, Patty.”
“Talking about what?” Matteo says, grabbing me from behind and spinning me around to plant a kiss on my lips. “Behaving?”
“For now,” I say so only he can hear as Patrick prattles on.
“Maybe now’s a good time to go,” he murmurs, pulling me close to his broad chest.
“Okay, I don’t really need to witness what you’re going to do to my sister, so this is probably my cue to exit,” Patrick says and disappears to chat up a waitress.
I look up at Matteo, the smiles all disappearing. “We can’t go. There’s a party, and we’re playing the role of happy couple. Remember?”
“Heaven…”
But we can’t leave yet, and the evening passes by in a flash of laughter, dancing, and chatter.
It’s perfect.
And everything I never thought I’d want in a million years.
Or it would be. If it were real.
I gaze around the dining room, noticing that one grimacing face is missing from the party.
Conor.
Can’t say that it bothers me much, either. Seeing him just makes my stomach roil.
I smile at my husband. “We should go. I think we need to talk.”