19. Anya
CHAPTER 19
ANYA
T he whoosh of arid air hits me like someone took a massive hair dryer, pointed it directly at my face, and flipped the switch.
It’s fucking brutal.
But I need to clear my very cluttered head because I just heard a bunch of things that have my gut knotted like a pretzel.
I stretch out my quads, Heaven’s words clanging between my ears like clashing cymbals.
“…hasn’t been himself lately…he isn’t happy…wants to get back to his real job…”
I grit my teeth and do a couple of side stretches before windmilling my arms.
So everything between us…it’s all been bullshit?
A huff escapes my lips as I start jogging lightly down the driveway and onto the Strip. Sweat pebbles over my skin almost instantly, and tiny drizzles of perspiration slip down my spine. Moisture wicking clothing, my ass.
It’s not wicking anything!
I’m slowly melting down — my body, my mind, my heart.
And it is goddamn agonizing.
For the first time in forever, I let my guard down for a guy, a guy I’ve developed feelings for, despite all of my efforts to self-protect.
I guess that’s irony for you.
Dante is just like me. He’s doing what I’ve always done because it’s the only way to keep focus.
You don’t allow yourself to feel because it’s dangerous.
You don’t let emotions grab you by the throat because they make you do stupid shit.
And you don’t let anyone get in the way of your work.
Always keep focus, no matter what.
Those are the rules I’ve lived by and because of him, I’ve shoved them all into the dark recesses of my mind because being around him…with him…makes me happy.
Goddammit!
Have we not already established that happiness is not in my cards?
I pick up speed as I sidestep a group of drunk guys slugging down their yard-long, bright red and blue cocktails as they stagger down the sidewalk.
“This is ridiculous!” I huff. “I have a job to do. So, we had sex. Hot sex,” I mutter as my sneakers pound on the pavement, my leg muscles aching at the sudden increase in speed. “It’s over now. He’s leaving and I’m not his little plaything. He can’t use me and then throw me away!” I grunt. “I’m not going to be his little distraction, someone to occupy his time with until he gets itchy and needs to bolt.”
I stop in front of a street lamp post, leaning against the scalding hot metal, but feeling too fired up with anger that I don’t even notice it searing the backs of my legs. I pant for a few minutes, watching cars zoom past, lost in my own pity party.
Because the reality is, I don’t want to be a distraction.
I want to be the center of somebody’s world.
Forget the fact that this whole thing is twisted as hell because of the circumstances, but I can’t ignore the memory of his body buried deep inside of mine, the sensations that course through me whenever he’s near, his sultry, manly scent, his heated gaze, and the ass that just doesn’t quit.
I feel too much and I’ve lost control of my heart as a result.
How could I have let this happen?
I should be calling the shots and instead, I’m reduced to a pile of emotional Jell-O because the guy electrifies my insides with an erotic charge that can rival the power grid of Las Vegas.
I cover my face with my hands and let out a muffled yell. “Fuck him!”
But it comes out sounding more like “Mnuhphhimm!”
“Muffin? Fuck yeah, that sounds good.”
“Oh my God!” I jump, clutching a hand to my chest as I twist around. My heart rate skyrockets when I see Dante smirking at me, his massive arms folded over his chest. His shirt is stuffed into the pocket of his basketball shorts and he’s got a Yankees baseball cap on backwards. Ray-Bans complete his sexy-as-fuck look, and I bite down hard on my lower lip because I am a tiny bit afraid if I don’t, my tongue will jut out and do all sorts of unspeakable things, right here in the open.
It’s Vegas, so I doubt anyone would even notice.
Although, since it’s Vegas, they might join in.
“Did I scare you?” he asks, that shit-eating grin making my knees wobble.
“Not even close,” I hiss.
“Good, so how about a snack?” He winks at me. “You, know, since you mentioned muffins .”
I press my lips together. No more distractions! “I don’t have time. Aisling is probably up from her nap and Heaven?—”
“Heaven has her aunt.” He stretches his arms overhead and I watch his biceps flex, the sun glistening on his bronze skin. I can feel my tongue sweep over my lips and his smirk widens.
Dammit.
Just another instance of my body betraying me!
I fix my ponytail and give him a quick wave. “I’ll see you later.” I start to jog back toward the Excelsior, berating myself for allowing his gorgeousness to once again shatter me. I am a badass bitch. I don’t let guys unravel me like this. Nobody has that privilege!
Not even a minute later, I hear a second pair of sneakers thumping along the sidewalk next to me.
“I don’t know why you’re following me,” I grumble.
“We’re going to the same place, yeah?”
“I’m not really sure,” I snap. “I mean, it’s not like you’ve been hanging around the apartment. You kind of pulled a disappearing act after what happened the other night.”
“Yeah, I’ve been…busy.”
“Busy trying to figure out how quickly you can get out of Vegas?” I say, silently chiding myself for sounding so bitter. Argh! My head and my heart are not on separate pages. They’re immersed in two very different books. On two different planets. In two different galaxies!
He slows down. “What are you talking about?”
My lungs are ready to revolt right about now as my run comes to a stuttering halt. I turn to look at him, quirking an eyebrow. “Heaven said you’re on your way out.” I shrug. “That’s cool. I’m sure there are lots of real estate opportunities waiting for you. I get that you want to move on with your life.”
I do, too. Just in a different direction.
“She told you that?”
I shrug. “Yeah, she said you’re not happy or whatever. That you’re not yourself. That you want to leave.”
He adjusts his cap, averting his eyes for a long second. “Yeah. It’s true. I did.”
“So what’s stopping you? If you want to leave, just go.” I glare at him, shielding my eyes from the sun.
With a shake of his head, he pulls off his sunglasses so I can see the confusion in his eyes. “Why do you even care?”
“I don’t!” I let out a deep sigh. “Look, Dante, it’s hot as balls out here, and I hate to sweat, so I’m just going to head back, okay? If you don’t take off before tomorrow, I guess I’ll just see you at the christening.” I start to run again but he grabs my wrist and pulls me back, but my foot skids along a patch of gravel and I collide with his chest.
My mouth waters.
I want to lick.
I need to taste!
Ugh!
I put my hands on his perfect pecs and shove away from them. “What do you want with me, Dante?” I ask.
“I’m still trying to figure that out,” he says, his voice low and thick with conflict.
“Well, let me make it easy for you. I know you’re leaving, so whatever this is? It’s done. I need to keep my focus…on the baby and my…my school plans. I don’t need any distractions, okay? We had a fun night and it’s done. So just let it go.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
I narrow my eyes and stick my hands on my hips. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He lets out a sigh. “Anya, Heaven was right…kind of. I have been wanting to leave Vegas for a while. But over the past few days, I’ve been feeling differently. A lot differently. Like maybe what I thought I wanted isn’t what I want now, because of you. And it doesn’t make any sense to me because it’s been such a short amount of time and I barely know you. But I can’t get you out of my head. It’s why I pulled away for a little while. I needed to make sure what I was feeling…and who I was feeling it about…was real.”
My mouth drops open. “About me?” I whisper. “You’re feeling this stuff about me ?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
And just like that, my heart races faster than it did while I was running.
I could come up with so many reasons why it shouldn’t be possible.
But I know how I feel about him and that renders all of those reasons meaningless.
I swallow hard. “Are you sure?”
He nods, caressing the side of my face. “There’s something about you, Anya. Something that makes me feel like we’re more alike than we both know. Something that tells me this is crazy but right. I don’t know much about you, but I know a ton, if that makes any sense.”
Breathless. I am absolutely breathless right now, and I’m standing perfectly still.
“And it really all started when you ran in front of my car at the airport.” His lips curl into a mischievous grin.
“Hey, wait, I didn’t run in front of your car!” I screech, throwing my hands in the air. “You were driving like a lunatic and I was minding my own business, just crossing?—”
He doesn’t let me finish, though. All of a sudden, his strong hands grip my waist and gently pull me toward him. His mouth smothers mine, silencing my voice and devouring me voraciously for all to see. His tongue juts between my lips, coiling heat radiating throughout my core. I press my fingertips into his back, letting him infuse my entire being with pure, wanton lust.
He wraps me tight in his embrace and my body molds against his, fitting perfectly into my spot.
My spot…
I never thought I’d ever use those words in relation to a guy.
When he pulls away, we’re both breathless. “What I was trying to say is that maybe I want to stick around.”
“I don’t want to be the reason why you stay,” I murmur. “I don’t want you to resent me if it doesn’t work out. Besides, it would get weird, you know all of us living with your brother and sister-in-law. Kind of crowded, don’t you think? And that whole sex against the window thing couldn’t be a regular occurrence because, you know,” I shrug. “It’d be like we were living with parents. I mean, they are parents. Not ours, but still.” I give my head a quick shake to keep from rambling anymore. “I don’t know. It’s complicated. Maybe that’s just the bottom line,” I finally rasp.
Dante grins. “Okay, breathe, Anya. Jesus, I think that’s the most you’ve ever said to me at once, do you know that?”
I laugh and clap a hand over my mouth. “That’s probably why I try to limit my words. When they get away from me, they just keep coming, like a sea of bullets.”
Yikes. Bullets. How incredibly apropos.
“Lemme just address one of your concerns, okay? I don’t live with Heaven and Matteo. I know you have this whole useless but pretty trust fund baby perception of me, but it’s not true. I’ve got my own place. I’m not a freeloader.” He smirks. “I mean, I don’t pay for it, but I’ve got my own space. With plenty of windows,” he says with a wink.
“Mm-hm,” I say. “All of that sounds really good. The only thing I don’t remember saying is ‘useless but pretty.’ I think that’s just you projecting.”
He smacks my ass and then squeezes it, making me squeal.
“Oh, you like that, huh?” He draws me near, his lips brushing against my ear. “Why don’t I take you to my place and show you how use ful I actually am? And then I’m going to make you scream so hard, you’ll never say shit like that again.”
“Or maybe I’ll like it so much, I’ll keep saying it.” I waggle my eyebrows. “Now, are you going to take me to your place, or are you going to fuck me against this street post?” I shrug. “It is Vegas, after all.”
“Tempting, but no.” He grins at me. “The things I’m gonna do to you have to be behind closed doors or I’ll get arrested. And that whole pretty thing will be very bad for me in the clink.” With a chuckle, he nods toward the hotel. “Race ya back?”
“A competition. Nice.” I wiggle my fingers in a little wave and take off like a shot. He’s on my heels but challenge accepted. No way do I lose.
Of course, by the time I get to the hotel entrance, I can’t breathe, my face is purple, and my eyes are bugging out of my head.
But hey, I won.
We catch our breath for a minute, the unspoken promise of what awaits us upstairs hanging in the stagnant air between us. Finally, when I don’t feel completely wilted, Dante laces his fingers with mine and pulls me into the revolving glass door next to him. I can’t stop staring up at him and smiling. I want to pull my eyes away, I want to feel as if I have some sliver of self-control left, but there’s nothing.
I am hopelessly consumed in all that is him.
He’s staying…because of me.
Shut the front fucking door.
I never expected to hear those words, even though deep down I yearned to hear them tumble from his bitable lips.
“Anya!”
That definitely jars me. I turn around to see who could possibly be calling my?—
And then it hits me.
Dottie and The Golden Girls said they were staying at the Excelsior.
A smile tugs at my lips. How happy they look in their brightly colored, button-down shirts and white pants…what is it with older women and their white pants? It’s like a uniform! And how do they keep them so freaking clean?
Maybe it’s a secret that gets uncovered as you age.
Dottie trots over to me and throws her arms around my neck, not caring at all that I am a sweaty mess. “I didn’t think we’d see you again!”
I smile. “Well, I got that job I told you about.”
Dottie furrows her brow. “Job? I don’t recall?—”
“It’s fine,” I say, knowing full well why she doesn’t recall. It’s because she never let me get a word in edgewise. Anything I said got completely drowned out by her yapping.
Still, she’s cute and excited and obviously having a grand time.
“And this young man is the one who brought you here!” she exclaims.
Memory like an elephant. Maybe she’s more observant than I gave her credit for being.
“Is he your boyfriend?” One of the others pipes in and a hot flush creeps into my cheeks. I sneak a look up at him and he grins down at me.
Then he looks at Dottie and flashes those bright white teeth before answering. “Nah, we’re just having sex.”
I bite down on my lower lip to keep from laughing when I see the shocked expression on her face. And then to her credit, a second later, she winks at me. “Ride it while you can, dear. You never know when the horse is going to give out.”
“I’ll remember that,” I say, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “It was great running into you. I hope you have an amazing time with your friends. It looks like you’re having so much fun.”
“Then you should experience it for yourself. Maybe later? We’ll be here!” Her friends let out a collective yell and fist the air.
“That sounds nice. I’ll look for you.” I give Dottie a quick hug since I’m still learning this affection thing for virtual strangers. And I’m actually not full of shit, either. Maybe I could use a little girl time. I have the night off, and something tells me I’ll need a few laughs and drinks after my dinner with Uncle Boris.
She nods, slowly looking between me and Dante with a knowing smile on her face. “In the meantime, you two enjoy!”
And on cue, the girls all hoot and holler as we walk toward the private elevator bank that leads to the residences.
“Look at you, making friends, being chatty.” he says, leaning against the wall while we wait for the elevator to arrive. “I might have to make some adjustments to my list.”
“I’m hoping you find some new ones to add,” I say in a husky voice, discreetly sliding my hand up the leg of his shorts, grazing his half-hard cock.
A sharp ding sounds and the elevator doors open. I push Dante inside, backing him against the back wall, not even bothering to wait for the doors to close again before I crush my lips against his. Our hands and legs entwine as we drink each other in like we’ve just been running outside in the blistering heat with no water.
Because we have.
And water is seemingly the last thing either of us wants right now.
The elevator hasn’t moved, so he pulls away slightly to stab the button for the forty-seventh floor before devouring me once again.
As intoxicated as I am by him, I can still see that we are moving out of the elevator now that it’s landed on the floor where Dante’s apartment is obviously situated. He backs me down a short corridor and then shoves a keycard into the lock, all while keeping his delicious lips pressed against mine. We stumble into the foyer, and in my periphery I can see it’s a carbon copy of Heaven and Matteo’s place.
With plenty of windows, just like Dante promised.
“I need to take a quick shower,” I murmur against his mouth, raising my arms overhead so he can pull off my tank top.
“I don’t understand why it needs to be quick,” he says, pulling off my shirt and shoving my shorts and panties to my ankles. I kick them off and step toward him. With a quick flick of his fingers, he has my sports bra fluttering to the floor next to the rest of my clothes.
I loop my fingers into the waistband of his shorts and slither down his calves, holding onto the material until it pools at his feet. He pulls me up to a standing position, his fingers slipping the rubber band out of my hair so that it falls gently down my back.
His eyes drop and he runs his fingers over my Band-Aid again.
Every time he examines it, my belly clenches and the butterflies stop dead in their fluttery tracks. “Any better?” he asks.
I shrug. “Yeah, but I just keep it covered in case she gets the same spot again. I don’t want it to get infected.”
And how much longer do you think you can get away with keeping that part of your life hidden from him, Anya?
I sure hope it stands up to the shower spray. I’m not ready for the explanation that comes along with the tattoo if the Band-Aid happens to fall off.
I give the palm of my hand a long, seductive lick and grasp his thick cock, sliding my hand up and down his throbbing shaft. He lets out a loud moan, and I know the scratch is already forgotten.
He scoops me into his arms and carries me into his massive, white marble bathroom. His fingers dig into my prickled flesh, grasping my hips, my ass, my tits. His insatiable appetite has turned him into a ravenous predator and I am his prey.
His extremely aroused prey.
He pulls away from me long enough to turn on the shower spray. The enclosure has one glass panel and jets spraying steamy water from each wall. I watch him stand in the center of the mosaic-style mother of pearl tiles, my breath hitching as the water rushes over him, streaming down his god-like form.
He runs a hand through his dark hair, a seductive smirk curling his lips upward. With a crook of his finger, he has me moving toward him as if captured by the most carnal spell imaginable. I step onto the marble tile floor and run my hands down the sides of his torso. His muscles ripple under the pads of my fingertips, his cock grazing my slit. My eyes flutter closed and his lips seize mine, unrelenting and unwilling to let them go.
I wrap my arms around him, trailing my hands up and down his back as he leads me to the far wall and guides me down onto the bench that lines the perimeter. He pushes open my legs, stepping onto the bench with one foot as he positions himself at my entrance. His hand reaches around, forcing my hips to jut toward him as his cock dips inside of me, slowly stretching my walls with the same sweet torture I remember from our last romp. The burning sensation makes me cringe, but in the best way possible.
I lean back against the wall, thrusting my hips against him as he plunders my core. Water rushes over us as our movements become more desperate and frenzied over the next few blissful minutes. I lock my legs around Dante’s waist as he drives deeper, fucking me with long, slow strokes that have me clinging to the edge of my sanity.
He thrusts faster and faster as my cries pierce the air. I dig my fingernails into his back, slicing at his flesh like I’m some kind of female version of Wolverine. My pussy clenches tight around him like a glove, beckoning him to connect with me on every level possible. I squeeze my eyes shut, ignoring the water streaming down my face. I don’t care that I can’t see. I don’t care that I can barely breathe.
I just care that I’m exactly where I want to be right now.
Where, crazily enough, I feel as if I’m meant to be…
Dante lifts one of my legs and lays it on his hip to give him leverage as he continues his luscious assault on my body. He plunders me to the point where my brain cells no longer have the power to fire. I pant and huff and moan as he slides against my clit with every push and pull motion.
And then he hits it.
The spot. My spot. Oh holy fuck, it’s amazing and beautiful and fucking earth-shattering all at the same time.
My body trembles uncontrollably against him as the sparks blast out of my core, shooting out to every extremity. The euphoric sensations ripple through me, and I come undone in his arms, begging for the release only he can provide.
He pulls me on top of him as he swings around and collapses onto the bench. “Fuck,” he breathes.
“I know,” I whisper, nipping at his ear. “So good.”
He stares at me from under his half-hooded gaze and pushes a wet strand of hair out of my eyes. “I think we should get you nice and clean now.” He smirks. “So I can get you really filthy again.”
“I like that kind of loop,” I say. “I could get very used to that kind of shower treatment.”
“Well, then, consider this our little playtime activity,” he murmurs. “Forget naps. I’ll just fuck you instead,” he says with a wicked glimmer in his eyes.
I laugh breathlessly and he stands up, letting me down so that he can grab the soap and a washcloth. We spend the next few minutes soaping up each other’s bodies. The lemony scent of the bath soap makes my nose tingle as I rub it up and down Dante’s sculpted chest.
When we finally make it out of the spray, our fingers are shriveled like prunes. He wraps a thick white towel around me and then hooks one around his waist. I pull a hairbrush through my tangled hair, my knees buckling as he trails kisses down the back of my neck. I have to grab onto the white marble countertop to keep from face-planting on the floor.
“You hungry?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say in a teasing voice. “I guess I didn’t get my fill before.”
His head whips in my direction. “Then we’re gonna have to correct that. Immediately, if not sooner.”
I cock my head to the side. “Oh? You’re ready to go again? So soon?”
He pushes me against the wall and unclasps my towel, watching as it falls to the floor. “This body already has me hard again.” He kneads my breasts, flicking the nipples and making me squeal. “So fucking beautiful,” he mutters. “I never knew what the hell I was missing before…”
I swallow hard.
I know exactly how he feels.
And then the realization hits me like a hammer to the temple.
There are so many lies between us.
So much unsaid.
So many questions that can’t be answered.
This whole thing between us is a complete fantasy because none of it is real.
The feelings we have for each other…we don’t even know who the other is!
The hell with what we feel!
How can this work?
How can we possibly think that this chemistry between us won’t ignite and explode like an experiment gone very wrong?
My pulse throbs against my neck as I fall to my knees and take his hard dick deep into my mouth.
I don’t want to think about any of those things right now.
I just want to be here in this moment with him where none of the bullshit can touch us.
We can just exist in this blissfully ignorant little bubble for the foreseeable future, right?
I slide my tongue down the length of his cock, kneading his balls as he tangles his fingers into my hair. I tease his slit with my tongue, tugging and pulling his dick with my lips. I suck and I rub until he gasps, yanking my hair as he thrusts against my mouth. The top of his cock hits the back of my throat, and my gag reflex is about to kick in. I squeeze my eyes shut, focusing only on making him feel as amazing as I did when he tongue-fucked me the other night.
And then he pushes me away, gently, but still. I look up at him, confusion in my gaze. “Didn’t you like that?” I whisper.
“I loved it. But I don’t want to come without you.” He takes my hands and pulls me to my feet. “I want to feel your soft pussy wrapped tight around my cock again. I want to feel you come all over me again. I want you to scream my name, Anya. I want you to tell me that you’ve never been fucked so good in your life, do you understand?”
My nipples stiffen as chills slither down my spine.
I nod. “Yes.”
“Good girl,” he growls. “Now, let’s get that hot ass into the bedroom.”
“Is this the part where you unleash your deviance?” I ask. “Because I am very amenable to that.”
The corners of his lips lift. “Oh, hell yes.” He reaches for me and captures me in his arms, carrying me to the bedroom.
“Was I moving too slowly?” I ask.
“Yeah. And you were talking too much. I need to give you something else to do with that mouth.”
I let out a moan as he gathers me close. I drag my fingernails down the slope of his back, lodging them into his hips as he walks. I rotate my hips slightly against him, making him move even faster. My pussy tingles as the head of his cock teases my slit, and I don’t know how much longer I can wait to feel him inside of me again.
He lays me on the bed, pulling me toward the edge. He dips his head between my legs and plunges his tongue into my pussy, his thumb and forefinger flicking my clit. My body trembles under his erotic spell, my belly clenching tight as ripples of pleasure rush over me.
“Please fuck me again, Dante,” I moan. “Oh my God, please do it now. Don’t make me wait! You’re making me so crazy!”
His hot tongue changes course almost immediately at my request. With one arm snaked around me, he uses the other to lift one of my legs. He slowly thrusts his thick cock into me, long, hard, and so deep, I cry out, lancing his flesh with my nails as he drives me into the cloud of euphoric bliss I so crave.
A gasp slips from my lips as he presses into me, my breathing ragged as he thrusts harder and faster with each passing second.
I clench tight around him, our bodies slick with sweat as we slide against each other.
“You scream for me, baby,” he grunts. “I wanna hear it!”
And that’s all the invitation I need. And I hope nobody else is living on this floor because it’s possible that these sounds may wake the dead.
He flips onto his back, pulling me on top of him and bouncing me on his cock as I scream for God the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, and anyone else who can hear me.
A deliciously tormenting ache rumbles deep in my core, sparks igniting and firing into every extremity, making my fingers tingle and my toes curl. Sensations that I’ve never felt course through me like a raging inferno. I roll my hips over him one last time, squeezing my eyes shut and letting the orgasm tear through me with a force that shreds my insides in its wake.
Seriously shredded.
That’s exactly how I feel.
Well, shredded and zapped of all ability to think or speak.
I can only feel right now, and my God, it’s amazing.
I collapse onto the mattress next to him.
I can’t breathe. I can’t speak. I can’t even hear.
And everything tingles, right down to my toes.
Holy shit…
Fucking amazing is an understatement.
I don’t know how much time passes before my mouth finds words, how much time before I can stop panting.
I don’t even care.
I can stay like this forever.
And then I remember…I really can’t.