Chapter 19
19
TESSA
Agatha Dupree had been part of the Bridgeport Holiday Pantry since its inception seven years prior. As I understood it, her children had been in attendance for the past six years, and my parents began volunteering their time last year. Of course, it was only natural, with the marriage of Ethan and Nora, that this event, like so many others this year, was becoming a “Davis-Dupree Tradition.”
I’d considered worming my way out of it, but I knew many of the families the event would help, and I wanted to be a part of giving them this gift. I didn’t, however, want to spend an entire Saturday shoulder-to-shoulder with Grant, pretending he’d never even crossed my radar.
So, I did the next best thing, and invited every friend I could think of to serve as unwitting buffers. Of all my friends, only Val knew about my arrangement with Grant, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was doing everything I could to focus on my friends and forget he was just across the room.
Val was not.
I watched as they walked away from our group and to a table set apart from the rest, piled high with cans of soup. Grant stepped in next to them so they stood shoulder-to-shoulder, presumably stacking soup cans. His black hair had been recently trimmed into its neat fade but he’d let his beard grow once more, and I wanted to run my lips along his bristly jaw.
“Can you help me do this edge?” Everett asked, holding a half-wrapped gift in front of me. Everett and Griffin had been sweet to attend, but they were epically terrible at wrapping, and I’d been stepping in at every opportunity so the local children had nicely wrapped gifts.
“Is it labeled?” I asked.
Everett smiled, his dark features lighting up. “Yep. Label’s on the front.”
“Excellent,” I replied. “You can leave it there and I’ll get it done.”
“Thank you,” Everett said, picking up his next gift and choosing wrapping paper carefully.
I was taping Everett’s abandoned edge when a shadow passed over me. “Hey, Tessy,” Jock said, and I looked up to find him above me, blocking the row of track lights which had previously shown down on the gift I was holding. “Whatcha’ doin’?”
I held up Everett’s gift—now neatly wrapped—in illustration. “Wrapping. How’s food sorting going?” Even as I asked, my eyes slid past Jock’s hips to where I could see Grant beyond. He was frowning in our general direction.
“Good, they’ve started packing the individual boxes, but I thought I’d come over here and relieve Everett or Griff if either wants to switch it up.”
I stifled an eye roll, annoyed that it had never even occurred to Jock to offer to relieve a woman. Alex and Annisa were continuing to work, oblivious to Jock, and I stood up to choose my next gift and paper, hoping if I ignored him he’d go away.
“Alex, sweetheart, how are you doing?” Jock asked, walking a few feet farther into the group to stand in front of Alex Dupree. The younger woman looked up, her ponytail swishing.
“I’m fine. I’m worried I’m not very good at wrapping. I usually do the food sorting, but Mom said they had enough people there with Kelly’s help.”
I let out a tiny little grunt then pressed my lips between my teeth, reminding myself to shut up. If the goal was for Grant to move on, there were worse women than Kelly out there. I had to be careful not to get in the way of his happiness.
Next to me, Jock squatted down in front of Alex, his arms propped on his thighs. “It just so happens I’m an excellent present wrapper. Hand it up,” he said, holding out a hand.
Glad to be rid of Jock, I shifted my attention back to the gift in front of me, folding the edge of the wrapping paper to make a crisp line. “Whaddya’ think, Tessy?” Jock asked, and I looked up to find him holding a gift up toward me. In truth, it was really well wrapped, but I didn’t want to encourage him.
“Tessy?”
I jumped at the sound of Grant’s voice just to my left. He was staring at Jock, his lips quirked in a smile that was belied by his flat, humorless tone.
Unperturbed, Jock winked at me. “Tess and I go way back.”
There was an unmistakable hardening of Grant’s icy blue eyes. “Alex,” he said, not looking at me now, only his sister. “If Jock’s going to work over here, there’s room to sort food with the rest of the family.”
“I’m fine,” Alex said brightly, and the words erased even the fake smile from Grant’s lips.
“Do you think it’s okay if I switch?” I asked impulsively, regretting the idea almost immediately. Grant’s gaze swung in my direction, his eyes wide and surprised.
“ You want to switch?” he asked slowly.
I nodded. “I could use a break, but if you think I should stay here…” I offered, hoping he’d give me an out from my own bad idea.
“Don’t be silly, Tess, go,” Alex said. Alex shot Grant an impatient look. “Tell her it’s fine, Grant,” she intoned, and the words snapped him back into action.
Grant looked at me, his eyes unfocused and not meeting mine, and he smiled. I easily recognized the smile as a fake. “Of course there’s room,” Grant said. “You should join us, Tessa,” he said. Despite his best efforts, his voice was stilted and awkward, and a blush rose on my cheeks.
“What is the matter with you?” I heard Alex hiss at her brother as I walked by Grant and toward the folding tables full of boxes and cans. Perhaps she was complaining about his behavior toward Jock, but I doubted it. She was embarrassed for me.
Tears burned at the back of my eyes unexpectedly, and I took a quick turn, heading up a set of stairs and finding myself in a hall. Ahead of me were two doors, and I chose the one that led into the back closet where Grant had pressed me close to his chest and slipped his hands into my panties a couple weeks earlier. I paced around the room, breathing hard as I tried to will the tears away. Grant liked me—I knew that. When we were alone, he made no secret of how very much he cared for me. So much, in fact, that pretending to not care in front of our families had him weird and stilted. I understood all of those things.
But Alex didn’t. She had looked at her brother and looked at me and assumed he was dismissive and rude because I’d never even crossed his radar. That was the part that made my eyes burn with unshed tears. No one suspected anything between Grant and me because no one would expect Grant to be interested.
The door burst open behind me and I jumped, spinning around to find Grant staring at me, his back pressed to the closed door and his brow lowered unhappily. “You’re upset,” he said.
My nose twitched as the burning sensation of tears spread, but I replied, “I’m fine.”
He held out a hand, and I understood without asking he wanted me closer while he still stood guard with his back to the door. I closed the distance enough that he could reach me, and he hauled me closer to him, looking down at me with concern etched into his face. “I know we’re still learning things about each other, Tess,” he began, “but I know you. You are honest and straightforward. You say exactly what’s on your mind. It’s one of my favorite things about you.”
He ran the knuckles of his right hand down my cheek, and I watched his eyes dart down to my lips for a second, as if he were considering kissing me. I wished he would—it would be easier than whatever question he was going to pose—but I knew Grant better than that. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he understood me completely, as if I were a riddle he needed to crack.
When I didn’t offer more information, Grant pressed. “I was ruder than I meant to be—it wasn’t about you, it was about fucking Jock Jurkowski, first hitting on you and then on my sister for chrissake?—”
It sounded as if he might continue, but I cut him off. “Grant.” His mouth snapped shut, eyes on mine, ready for any nugget of information I would offer him, and I smiled ruefully, because wasn’t it the most ridiculous irony that Claire and Emily were so very wrong about Grant. He wasn’t some man-whore looking for quick and easy no-strings sex, he was loving and attentive and just a little bit possessive. I’d offered no-strings to the man—required it, in fact—but here we were, locked away in a closet while he tried to understand my thoughts and worries instead.And, mysteriously, I wanted to give him that, to let him in completely.