Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Chance
M y nerves were stretched to the limit Saturday afternoon as I paced from the kitchen to my home office window and back. Again and again. Watching for Rowan’s car.
She was checking out of the inn today and moving into our spare bedroom. Checkout was hours ago, but she’d told me she had errands to run before she came over.
I couldn’t imagine what errands could take this long, but I recognized that was none of my business.
Still, the anticipation of… everything was making me want to crawl out of my skin.
At the top of the list was Sam. She and Rowan hadn’t met yet. We hadn’t been able to arrange it in the two days since Rowan had agreed to move in.
When I’d told Sam about our new roommate, she’d been quiet, nodded, but had not really given a hint of her thoughts. She just seemed…sad. She didn’t know about New Year’s Eve, the pregnancy, nothing except that Rowan was new to town, worked at the brewery, and needed a place to live.
I was worried that adding Rowan to our household would push my daughter even further away, but I stood by my decision. Rowan had no one. No support. I was determined to be there for both Rowan and Sam.
I went to the family room, forced my nervous ass down on the sofa, and pulled out my phone to pass the time. I had ebooks I could read. A few game apps. The entire internet.
None of it could distract me.
As hard as I tried to stay put, I popped up seconds later, paced up the two stairs to the kitchen level, trooped through my office, and peered out the blinds.
And there she was, pulling into the driveway.
I headed to the garage and hit the opener. Her arrival would be less public if she parked in the garage, but I reminded myself we weren’t going for private. She was moving in. It would not be a secret.
Her pregnancy… That was a different story for now. We hoped to control when that secret came out.
As Rowan killed the engine, I walked to the driver’s side door.
“Welcome,” I said when she opened it. I didn’t have to fake my smile at the sight of her.
She looked harried but beautiful in her lavender puffer coat, her chestnut hair tousled beneath her gray stocking cap with a big, furry ball at the tip. Her cheeks were pink, her brown eyes tired but pretty as she climbed out.
“Thank you.”
I glanced at her backseat, expecting it to be overflowing with her belongings. There was a box, some pillows, and an overstuffed bag.
“That’s not very much stuff,” I said.
“The trunk’s pretty full.”
The trunk wouldn’t hold a lot, but then she’d warned me she wouldn’t take up much room in my house.
I opened the back door, prepared to carry her things inside, but Rowan stopped me with a hand on my arm.
“I want to meet Sam first,” she said.
“You can absolutely meet her. We might as well take a load in while we go.”
She squeezed my arm again and shook her head. “Not yet. Please?”
Confused, I tried to read her expression. She bit her lower lip and glanced toward the house.
“Sam first,” she said. “Empty-handed. I’d rather not look like I’m here to invade her territory by lugging my crap in.”
I straightened and studied her.
“I don’t want to put her on the defensive,” she continued. “This is her home. She’s your daughter , Chance. This first meeting is important.”
She was right, and I hadn’t thought of any of that.
I nodded, feeling like the worst dad ever. I’d been uptight about Rowan arriving, about her meeting my daughter, and still, I hadn’t come up with ways to make it easier for Sam.
My appreciation for this woman grew every day. Surface things had drawn me to her on New Year’s Eve—her looks, an expression in her eyes, her smile—but the deeper I got to know her, the more I liked her.
I was awed by her determination to be independent and to get back on her feet after what she’d been through with her grandmother. She’d jumped into a job where she had no relevant experience and, from what I’d seen so far, learned fast, figured out a lot on her own, and asked questions when she needed to. She was easy to get along with, likable, and now she was determined to win my daughter over.
Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I walked beside her through the garage, my hand on her waist without thinking about it.
Once in the kitchen, I glanced at the door to the basement and felt like I needed to warn Rowan.
“Sam might not be friendly,” I said in a low voice. “I’ll apologize in advance in case she’s rude. I didn’t raise her to be rude but?—”
“She’s fourteen. I understand. I’m the intruder here, Chance. And I’m a big girl. I can handle a little teenage rejection.” She smiled, but I could see through it to her nervousness.
I took her hand and squeezed it. “Here goes nothing.”
I opened the basement door, called my daughter, and got no reply. Pulling out my phone, I texted her, all too used to having to communicate this way because she existed with her earbuds on. One day they were going to fuse with her ears.
I shot an apologetic look to Rowan, but she merely shrugged as if she wasn’t fazed. When her gaze flickered away, though, I caught another glimpse of insecurity. For a moment, I had the urge to pull her into my arms and assure her it would be fine, but I shoved one hand into my pocket to stop myself. Wouldn’t that be awkward.
Sam took her sweet time, but she eventually appeared, wearing leggings, a cropped tank, an oversized black-and-white cardigan, and a frown. Her long hair hung down her back.
“Hey, Sam, this is Rowan. Rowan, my daughter.”
“Hi, Sam.” Rowan extended a hand, which my daughter shook. “I’m glad to meet you finally. I like your sweater.”
“Oh. Thanks,” Sam said, sounding surprised as she glanced down at her clothing. When she looked back up, there was a shy smile on her face. “Cute jacket. I want one like that but in white.”
“I considered white,” Rowan said with an OMG-me-too tone. “I figured I would get it dirty in less than a day.”
I looked between them, a little stunned. I’d been so worried my daughter wouldn’t give Rowan a chance, but twenty seconds in and they were bonding over clothes?
And here I’d been frowning because I could see my daughter’s navel. No dad wanted his daughter showing off too much skin, did he?
The two of them discussed where Rowan had bought it—Lake Girl Boutique here in town—and other color choices as I stood there mute, puzzled by this instant connection. This immediate female common ground.
Once that topic was exhausted, Rowan said, “I know it’s been just you and your dad here for a long time, so it’ll be weird to have someone else in your house. I’ll try to stay out of your way.”
“You won’t be in my way,” Sam said. “I mostly stay in the basement.”
“Well, I appreciate you and your dad opening your home to me. I really like this town so far, but it’s impossible to find an apartment.”
“We’ve got plenty of room,” I said. “Make yourself at home and let us know if you need anything, right, Sam?”
My daughter shot me a glance then said, “Sure. I’m gonna go back downstairs.”
“Nice to meet you,” Rowan said.
Sam paused. “Yeah. You too.” My daughter smiled, just a faint tilting upward of her lips, but it hit me that it’d been a damn long time since I’d seen her smile.
Once Sam was back in the basement, I stood there trying to process the past five minutes. “That went better than I expected.”
“She seems sweet,” Rowan said.
“She is.” Even if I hadn’t seen her sweet side for ages before today. Shaking my head, I said, “Let’s get you moved in.”
We had her car empty in three trips. As I set her biggest suitcase on the floor of her room, I took in the short stacks on the floor along the wall, where we’d placed everything else. My brows shot up. “This is really all you brought?”
Rowan nodded. “Everything I own. When I cleaned out my grandmother’s house, I knew I couldn’t take a bunch of useless stuff with me, so I was pretty ruthless getting rid of things.”
There were two suitcases, a few boxes, a duffel bag, a couple of totes… It didn’t seem like much at all.
“I was in crisis mode for like two years straight,” she said quietly. “My perspective changed. I gave up all my classroom supplies, which I might regret eventually, but I can’t imagine lugging them around now. I lost enough weight from stress that half my clothes didn’t fit anymore, so I donated them. I’ve got my favorite books, a box of photos and memories from my childhood, my toiletries and jewelry.” She shrugged as if to say, what more could a girl need? “Oh, and pillows. I’m super picky about pillows.” She laughed self-consciously.
“You’ve lost a lot, haven’t you?”
She swallowed and attempted a smile. “The only loss that matters is my Gram. The rest is just stuff.”
For the second time today, I itched to pull her into my arms. I wanted to reassure her, but I didn’t have the right to do that.
It wasn’t pity I felt for her but empathy. Loss was a bitch, but I sensed it was just the tip of what she’d been through. Watching someone you loved fail one day at a time… I’d done that with Erin in a lot of ways. I’d known my wife had a problem with pills. I could see her decline more clearly in hindsight. At the time, I hadn’t realized how far into addiction she was or how she’d been fading day by day.
Addiction and dementia were not the same thing though. They were different flavors of heartbreak. I’d had years to work through mine and come out on the other side. Rowan was just getting started.
She turned in a circle, taking in her new room, and when she faced me again, there was so much raw emotion in her expression. “Thank you, Chance. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t opened your home to me.” She blinked, and a tear plummeted down her cheek. She swiped it away in a hurry.
Dammit. To hell with awkward.
“Can I hug you? As a friend? You look like you need it.”
She hesitated, then nodded.
I stepped forward and enfolded her in my arms. She wrapped her arms around me and leaned her head against my chest. Relaxing into her touch, only then did I realize how much I’d been yearning to feel her in my arms again. There was a rightness to it that didn’t make sense. Maybe it stemmed from the fact that we shared such a big, intimate secret and yet were unable to show any kind of ties other than professional ones at work. That took effort. Caused a strain. And now, finally, the strain was gone.
“This is your home for as long as you need it,” I said.
She sniffled, then laughed quietly, her head still resting on me. “I’m sorry. These are tears of gratitude, not sadness. Pregnancy hormones are no joke. I cried during a stupid TV commercial the other day.”
“Cry all you need to,” I said, grinning with her.
As I breathed in her floral scent, there was a stirring in my body, a reaction below the waist that had me putting a little space between us. The intent of the hug wasn’t to get a cheap thrill. I didn’t want to put her off or raise her guard. My objective was to be there for her, support her, be a friend.
Though I would never say Rowan was fragile—from what I’d seen, she had a quiet, determined thread of steel inside of her—she needed care and friendship right now, not some dude with a hard-on. I’d invited her to live here with the intention of providing something she needed—shelter and support.
I ended the hug. No need to make things weird on the first day.
“You’re welcome to use the kitchen anytime you want, to make whatever you want, but tonight, I’m treating to carryout from Henry’s.”
“I love Henry’s. But I can pay for my own.”
“Not tonight, Rowan. It’s your welcome dinner, and I’m not taking your money.”
She grinned. “I didn’t realize you have a bossy side. I guess it’s fitting since you’re my boss.”
“I’m not your boss.” I shook my head but couldn’t help smiling back, knowing she threw that line at me just to get under my skin. “Let me know what you want before dinnertime.”
“I will. Thanks.”
“You need any help unpacking?”
She glanced at her belongings and shook her head. “It’s mostly just my clothes. A lot of the other stuff will stay in boxes.”
“I’ll leave you to it then.” I headed toward the door, stopped when I reached it, and looked at her. “Make yourself at home. I’m glad you’re here.”
She met my gaze, appearing startled at my admission, then said, “Me too.”