Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Rowan
M onday morning, it was a relief to go to work.
Living with Chance was…tricky.
He was a charming, thoughtful host, making me feel welcome while giving me space, but it’d been a long time since I’d had a roommate besides Gram. Living with a man and his teenage daughter was different enough, even when you didn’t consider that I’d slept with said man once, was carrying his child, and still found him incredibly attractive.
It was going to take some time for me to be able to fully relax and feel at home, if that was even possible. Because I needed to keep my guard up against that attraction.
I was in a vulnerable spot. I could fully own that my emotions were a nonstop churning storm. Not only was I grieving the woman who’d raised me, but I was adjusting to the idea of motherhood, straddling the line between caution and hope. Caution because my pregnancy was high-risk. The truth was, I was terrified something would go wrong. I was scared to nurture those hopes about holding my own child in my arms.
In other words, I was a hot mess even before adding living with the sexy, off-limits father of my baby.
So yeah… Work would be a break, at least when I wasn’t working directly with Chance.
This morning, I had a meeting with Chloe. When it was time, I picked up my notebook and headed toward her office, thankful Chance’s door was closed as I passed.
As I reached Chloe’s open door, she was setting her cell phone down.
“Hey, come on in,” she said, standing from her desk.
“Welcome back,” I said. “How’s Sutton?”
Chloe had stayed home for several days last week because her daughter was sick.
“She’s well and back at Quincy’s today. I just hung up with Presley. Have you talked to her? They finally came to an agreement. She got the house.”
“That took a while,” I said. From what I understood, there’d been a lot of back-and-forth. “She must be super excited. Has she figured out her plans for her new little purchase?” I laughed as I said it because the house our friend had bought—with cash—was not at all little.
“Of course not, but that’s our Presley. Buy a house on a whim. Figure out what to do with it later.”
“Gotta love her,” I said, meaning it.
“She mentioned the possibility of gutting it.”
“I can’t wait to see it.”
Chloe closed the door as I headed to her table, where we usually met. “It’s warmer in here when I close the door,” she said. Then she paused and her brows went up. “Or have you hit that point in the pregnancy when you’re hot all the time?”
“No,” I answered. “That will probably start just as it gets stupid hot outside.”
With a grin she said, “Most likely. How are you feeling?” She set her laptop on the table and sat next to me.
“Mostly okay. Every once in a while food makes me feel sick, but I’ve only thrown up a couple of times.”
“I hope that gets better instead of worse,” she said.
“Same. The fatigue is real though.”
She’d warned me about it early on. Between being pregnant, moving, and wrestling with the shit storm of emotional stuff, I was ready to collapse in bed by dinnertime each evening.
“I remember how bad it was during the first trimester,” Chloe said. “Did you extend your stay at the inn? Ava said she’d give you the same rate break, right?”
“Yeah. And no. Ava’s a doll, but I found a cheaper solution.” Even with the rate break, the inn was a lot for my puny budget.
“Oh, good. What’d you find?”
“I found a room for rent in a house.” I swallowed, preparing for her reaction. “In Chance’s house.”
“Our Chance?”
“The one and only. Sam’s room is in the basement, and he has two extra bedrooms upstairs.”
I could see her mind chewing on that as she nodded. “I didn’t realize you two were that cozy.”
“We’re not cozy,” I said with a nervous laugh.
I was pulled in three directions as I tried to decide how much to tell her.
Chloe was my boss and my friend, and those each called for differing levels of info. On top of that, Chance and I had agreed not to spread the word about the baby until we’d told Sam.
Leaning forward, I planted my elbows on the table and ran my hands over my face tiredly, debating.
Chloe and Presley were my confidantes. They knew a lot of the details about my pregnancy, but not about the father. They’d been respectful of my desire to keep his name to myself.
But I was dying to talk to someone, another female who could relate and help me navigate this muddled situation.
Most importantly, I trusted Chloe to keep our secret.
I eyed the door to make sure it was closed all the way and said quietly, “I need to tell you some things, but they involve other people, so?—”
“This is confidential,” she said. “Got it. I’ll keep it to myself.”
I pressed my lips together and summoned my courage. “Chance is the father,” I said in a hushed voice.
Chloe sucked in a breath, her brows popping upward again. She stared at me with her mouth gaping for several seconds.
I nodded.
She covered her mouth with both hands and continued to watch me.
“He was my New Year’s kiss guy,” I said simply. “Except there was more.”
Chloe’s grin stretched across her face as she lowered her hands. “I had no idea. And then you started working here…”
“We didn’t talk about where he worked that night. He said he was in marketing. I told him I was a teacher. We, um, didn’t spend too much time on our life stories.”
“I’m betting not,” she said with a laugh. “Wow. So you didn’t know he worked here until your first day?”
“We didn’t exchange contact info. We had no reason to. So yeah, on my first day of work, there he suddenly was.”
Chloe looked to be taking everything in. “And then you found out you’re pregnant. What’s the chance of that? Pun is totally intended.”
I smiled. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner?—”
“I get it. You had to tell him. And then there’s Sam…”
“She doesn’t know yet. That’s why I swore you to secrecy.”
“Oh, Rowan.” She reached over the table and took my hand. “This is a lot for you to handle.”
“Which is why I spilled it all today. Because I’m living in his house .” I whispered the last part, fully aware of Chance’s office on the other side of the wall.
“Are you two…involved?” she asked, as if the possibility had just occurred to her.
“It was just a fling. Neither of us is up for entanglements.”
“I’d say a baby is an entanglement.”
“Understatement. But you know what I mean.”
“Wow. If ever you needed a girls’ night…”
“Amen.”
“You’re okay living there though?”
I nodded. “He’s been great so far.”
“So he’s supportive of the baby?”
I expelled a heavy breath. “He says he wants to co-parent. We haven’t defined what that looks like yet.”
Chloe’s expression softened. “He has a big heart.” She tilted her head. “So is he going to your appointment with you this week?”
I’d emailed her about my upcoming ultrasound, but I hadn’t thought to mention it to Chance. “Uh, I have no idea.” I leaned back and closed my eyes. “I guess I should ask?”
“If it’s an ultrasound…” Chloe nodded as I opened my eyes. “Those are pretty amazing.”
I swallowed hard, keeping my fears about what we’d discover to myself. If it was bad news, I wouldn’t want to be alone.
“I guess I better ask him,” I said. “And apologize to you and Holden for pulling two of us out of work.”
“No need to apologize.” She frowned. “Holden will have to know soon.”
I nodded. “You can share with him as long as?—”
“He’ll keep it to himself.”
“Thanks, Chloe.”
“Of course. You, me, and Presley are doing girls’ night soon. With mocktails.”
“Yes, please.”
“I suppose we should get down to work. Oh, God, and I just asked you to work closely with Chance.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “And I couldn’t say anything.”
She sobered. “Is it a problem for you?”
“It’s fine. Comical, really. But he’s been super patient with my lack of marketing background.”
She studied me for a few seconds. “You two work well together?”
“We do.”
Now she sat back, looking thoughtful.
“Professionally. We’re not…” I shook my head. “We’re just not, personally. I mean it, Chloe.”
“Chance is solid.” She lowered her voice. “And not hard to look at.”
“That’s what got me into trouble in the first place.” I laughed, then went serious. “I can’t do it. It would be too easy to fall into something just because it’s easy. I have no business being in a relationship right now, not that he’s asked me to be. I don’t want to drift into something because it’s convenient and I’m tired. Like, life tired, you know? And he’s there to make it easier.”
“That’s smart.”
“With this baby on the way, I need to make smart, strong, clear-minded decisions. Not be lured in by a good-looking guy who’s in a different stage of his life.”
She nodded. “I think you’ve got your head on straighter than you might think, but it’s good to be cautious.” She checked the time on her phone. “I have an appointment in forty minutes, so we should get to business.”
“Yes to business,” I said, relieved in multiple ways. Keeping the truth from Chloe had been weighing on me. “Because apparently I need to ask the father of my baby to the ultrasound as soon as we’re done here.”
I had no idea which answer I wanted more, a yes or a no.