Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Emerson
I walked into the holiday party at Max Dawson’s house at Ben’s side, keeping space between us like friends would. Because we were friends. The sleeping together part was literally just a benefit of that friendship and our temporary circumstances.
“Come on in,” Max called out as he walked toward us.
“Hello, llama savior,” I said, handing over my coat.
Ben handed him a bottle of whiskey. “Yeah, thanks. Yet again.”
“The things we do for a little libation.” Max laughed and took it from him. “Happy I could help. Grab a drink and some food.”
“Thanks for having me,” I said as I made a point of separating from Ben.
I smiled warmly at everyone in the vicinity, greeted Harper and her business partners and friends, Cambria and Dakota, who stood nearby welcoming guests, then scanned the room for drinks. I was going to need at least one, stat.
My nerves were on edge from the challenge of being with Ben in public, acting like the best of friends but not slipping too close.
My body wanted to be too close.
The crowd was bigger than I’d expected, with the open-area living room, kitchen, and dining area all filled with people, most of whom I knew. It appeared there were more guests out on the deck despite temperatures that hovered around thirty-five degrees.
Anna and Ava, Cash and Seth and his singer wife, Everly, were in my immediate view, with another three or four dozen scattered throughout.
“Emerson!” Olivia called out from a corner between the dining area and kitchen.
I waved and headed that way, taking in the details of the former NFL player’s home as I went, finding it down-to-earth and homey. I wasn’t too surprised since I knew Max to be humble and unpretentious. Harper was one of the easiest people to like as well.
My pace quickened as I got closer to part of my girl tribe—Olivia, Chloe, and Maeve—particularly when I caught sight of three partially full wine bottles on the counter next to them.
“Hey, ladies,” I said when I reached them.
Chloe gave me a side hug, and Maeve squeezed my hand in greeting. Olivia plucked an unused wineglass from the kitchen counter and held it out to me.
“Red, white, or bubbly?” Maeve asked.
“Yes,” I said and laughed.
“If you don’t care, then you’re getting champagne. We’re celebrating how gorgeous you look with your sparkles,” Maeve said.
“Seriously hot,” Olivia said.
“You all look fantastic too,” I said as I held my glass up and Maeve filled it.
The girls raised their glasses for a toast, so I clinked with them and relaxed. These girlfriends made me feel better even without the alcohol.
The invitation had specified holiday casual, and the house was filled with cute dresses and sparkly, blinged-out black, gold, silver, and green. I’d decided on leather-like black pants and a glittery, golden tunic-style sweater. Festive but comfortable.
“There’s a table over there overflowing with finger foods,” Chloe said, pointing.
When I glanced in that direction, what caught my eye instead of the food was Ben. Just seeing him made my heart speed up.
“And more importantly, another one over there with sweets,” Olivia said, gesturing to a different side of the room.
I coached myself to turn my gaze from my hot roommate and keep up with the conversation.
“Half of them baked by Olivia herself,” Maeve said. “So you know they’re killer.”
“Aww, thanks. I’ve had a little practice.” Olivia had worked at the bakery since before I’d moved back to town.
“This was my priority,” I said, holding up my glass of champagne. “But sweets? A close second, especially if you brought chocolate cherry bombs.”
“Of course I did,” Olivia said.
“So tell us what’s up with Ben,” Chloe said, closing our circle even more tightly.
My brows popped upward, and I lifted my glass for another drink, this one less sip, more gulp.
“You could let her arrive for a minute first,” Olivia scolded, laughing. “But yes, we’re dying to know.”
“Why beat around the bush?” Chloe said, grinning. “We won’t have this corner to ourselves all night.”
“He and I are friends,” I said, inspecting my short, gold-glittered nails as if they were the most interesting things ever.
When I lifted my gaze, all three women were leaning forward as if I were about to impart the secret of life.
I laughed and shook my head. “Surely there are more interesting topics?”
“Nope,” Olivia said.
“Uh-uh,” Maeve agreed.
“You two looked cute together when you came in the door,” Chloe added.
“Friends,” I said again, because that was the truth. Just maybe not the whole truth.
Maeve, who was on my left, leaned into my side and said, softly, thank God, “With bennies?”
I looked around the circle, meeting their eager, curious gazes one by one, unable to get the hint of a smile off my face. “Maaaybe,” I said simply, which elicited laughter and a “Yessss!” with a victory fist from Olivia.
My smile faded. “Please,” I emphasized quietly. “Keep it between us?”
“Absolutely,” Olivia said.
“Your secret’s safe,” Chloe added.
“Of course, Em.” Maeve’s eyes were lit with joy. “I was hoping for that news.”
I laughed again. “Why?”
She shrugged. “You deserve some sexy times.”
“We all do,” Olivia said. “Even those of us who are getting it on the regular.” She gave Chloe a lighthearted, accusatory look.
“A ten-month-old makes it trickier,” Chloe said, “but”—she shrugged—“guilty.”
Olivia threw a wadded-up napkin at her, then lifted her glass. “Here’s to all of us having Chloe’s luck.”
There were clinks and laughter all around, but the party was so loud and crowded no one took any notice, which was how I liked it, particularly considering the topic.
“So…” Olivia’s grin widened as she zeroed in on me again. “How did it happen?”
“Olivia London, you should be ashamed of yourself for being so nosy,” Chloe scolded.
“Don’t lie,” Maeve said to Chloe. “You’re dying to know too.”
“I am,” Chloe admitted.
All eyes turned to me. My closest friends waited expectantly. I wasn’t one who’d ever give them graphic details, but I said, “Five words for you.” I glanced around to make sure we hadn’t captured anyone’s attention. “Snowed in without the kids.” I counted the words on my fingers as I said them.
All three of them laughed, and Olivia held up a hand for a high five.
“That’ll do it,” Maeve said. “Or so I’ve heard.”
“It just proves your attraction was off the scales,” Chloe said.
That was the truth.
I took another swallow, glancing around, worried about being overheard again. Kemp Essex, Chloe’s husband, Holden, and Max’s brother, Levi, were engrossed in a conversation nearby but paying us no mind.
“So are there feelings involved here?” Olivia asked in a hushed voice.
“No,” I answered quickly. “It’s just the bicycle thing. Getting back on with someone I trust.”
An uneasiness rooted in my gut, but I shut it down.
“The bicycle thing is legit,” Maeve said. “I might need to find a guy to help me back on the bike one of these days.” She laughed.
“What’s going to happen when you move out?” Olivia asked me.
“Nothing.” My answer came automatically, but I couldn’t help but imagine a flash of living in a different house with my kids but without Ben and his girls. It would be…different. Quiet. Another adjustment.
Lonely.
Especially at night.
“You don’t think you’d keep seeing him on the sly?” Olivia asked.
“For booty calls?” Maeve added.
I laughed. “It’s hard enough to rendezvous in the same house with four kids involved. Two separate addresses?” I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s what either of us has in mind.”
“I guess you better get it all out of your system now then,” Maeve said. “How much sex can you have in, what, a month?”
“Any luck on houses?” Chloe asked as she refilled her glass with white.
“Zero luck.” I told them about the one place Darius had taken me to. “That’s exactly the full list right there. It’s depressing.”
“Well…” Chloe, who was starting to show signs of tipsiness, put her arm around my neck and leaned in. “I’m sorry to hear that. Something will eventually turn up and be perfect. In the meantime, here’s to riding bikes!”
We laughed and toasted yet again and drank.
“I need a trip to the dessert table,” I said. “And I should probably say hi to more than just you three. I’ll be back in a few.”
I walked off, registering a kernel of unease blossoming in my gut.
Then the reason for it hit me. It was the thought of moving away from Ben.
I would miss him way more than I’d ever imagined.
I’d miss the naked gymnastics, of course, but even more, I’d miss his company.
Not because of feelings that had gotten too deep.
Just because he was a good friend and a partner with the kids.
That was all I could let it be.
Ben
Emerson proved to be fucking impossible to keep my eyes off at Max and Harper’s party.
No matter who I was talking to, my Emerson radar was tuned in to her, knew where she was at all times.
At first I didn’t even realize I was keeping an eye on her, but then Max came up to me, handed me a Rusty Anchor IPA, and said, “If you don’t want people to know your secret, you might want to stop staring at her. ”
I snapped my gaze to his amused one as his meaning sank in. I hadn’t told him how things with Emerson had evolved, hadn’t talked to him since the single dads’ party nearly a week ago. I realized I’d just given up my secret to him without saying a word.
“Fuck.” I made a point of looking at everyone but her.
He chuckled. “I don’t think anyone else noticed. Yet.”
“Yeah. Thanks, I think.”
There was a part of me that wanted the world to know I was with Emerson. She’d picked me to play naked games with. I suspected that was the seventeen-year-old boy inside me though and not the responsible father or town veterinarian.