Chapter 13 #2
Next week I was meeting with a lawyer to find out what I needed to do to get full custody of my daughter.
Even now though, there was a bond between us that came from knowing she was my flesh and blood, a sense of you and me against the world.
I likened it to what my mom must have experienced, and it made me feel closer to her than ever.
The thought caused a pang of longing that robbed me of my breath. What I wouldn’t give to have my mom meet my daughter. She would’ve been euphoric to hold her granddaughter.
Becoming subdued, I reminded myself I needed to be strong for my child. “Someday, June Bug, we’ll feel like we’re a part of this. We’ll feel like these people are family,” I said quietly, then kissed her on the tip of her nose.
I put away the changing supplies, picked up Juniper, and headed toward the kitchen to mix another bottle.
Somehow thoughts of my mom had heightened the feeling of not belonging.
I wasn’t the large-family kind of guy who went to big, noisy gatherings.
I came from a two-person clan, and I didn’t know if I’d ever get used to the other end of the scale.
I was starting to wish I’d driven myself so I could leave soon.
When I went around the corner toward the kitchen, Cash was there, making coffee. He turned to find out who’d joined him but didn’t say anything when he saw me. I could actually feel his attitude harden.
“Hey,” I said, thinking it was stupid to act like strangers when we were the only two adults on this floor of the house.
An unfriendly grunt came out of him, his back to me once again.
My eyes narrowed. Were we adults or grade-schoolers here?
Holding Juniper in one arm, I used the other to mix the bottle. After a leveling inhalation, I tried again. “Dinner was really good.”
“Tell that to Faye. She did the planning and most of the cooking,” he said, his tone lacking in any sort of warmth or friendliness.
Of course I planned to tell Faye how wonderful dinner had been. That wasn’t the point. The point was I was trying to find some semblance of common ground, a way for us to be civil. My efforts were obviously not well received.
Tonight had been a lot. Hell, the past week had been a fucking lot. I was weary and overwhelmed twenty-four seven. Maybe earlier in the day I could be the bigger man, but my patience was threadbare.
“Do you have something you need to say to me?” I bit out.
Several seconds ticked by, and I started to wonder if he was going to blow me off completely. I clenched my jaw, and Juniper let out a fuss. Just a prelude.
Cash scoffed, and I had to coach myself through another calming breath. I wasn’t a fighter by any means, but this guy, my fucking half-brother, got under my skin.
“Okay, then,” I muttered sarcastically. Nothing could be resolved through silence.
The baby’s bottle was well mixed, so I turned my attention to Juniper, cradling her, then giving her the bottle. Her wide, eager gaze meeting mine took my irritation down a notch or two.
And then my shoulders stiffened again when Cash turned around and deigned to speak.
“It takes some steel cojones to do what you did.”
“What did I do, exactly?” I asked in a calm voice, leaning my backside against the cabinets, keeping my eyes on my daughter, who drank earnestly.
“You came here under false pretenses and buddied up to my family without telling us your true identity.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“What pisses me off the most is that I didn’t trust you from the start, and I was spot on, but you managed to fool everyone and make me look like the asshole. Yet here we are.”
“Here we are,” I repeated.
“I went against my misgivings and extended the olive branch for Ava’s sake,” he continued. “Tried to be friendly with you, but how can a guy be a friend if you don’t know who the fu—” He glanced at my daughter. “Who the heck he is?”
“I’m the same guy you knew. An introverted writer who fell in love with the town and the lake. Someone your fiancée trusts. You know my identity now.”
“Do we?” He crossed his arms over his chest and sized me up. “How do we know what you say is true?”
I scowled and wondered why I was wasting my breath if that’s how he really felt. “We did a paternity test. Was that not proof enough?”
“It doesn’t make me trust you.” He pushed away from the cabinets. “I resent the position I’m in. With you and Ava cowriting, I can’t just write you off like I want to.”
A stream of formula dribbled down Juniper’s chin, so I dabbed at it with a burp cloth.
“Plus there’s that family tie,” I jabbed.
He picked up one of the mugs of coffee and sipped it, staring at me. I met his gaze full on.
“What would you have done differently if you were in my place?” I finally asked. “If you found out you had half-siblings and a dad you didn’t know about somewhere, what would you do?”
“I wouldn’t wait months before revealing who I am, all the while making friends with them.”
“I never planned to. I never expected it to take so long to connect with Simon. It wasn’t like I had his address or his phone number and could just ring him up and say, ‘Hi, Dad.’ I also never planned to connect with Ava over writing or become friends with Holden.”
He grunted.
“Look, I apologized for not being up-front about our ties,” I continued, unwilling to keep hashing out the same damn points again and again. “My intent was not to hurt anyone. I did the best I could at the time.”
He raised his brows. Apparently that was all the response I was going to get.
“And still, here we are,” I said again.
This conversation had changed nothing. There wasn’t much else I could say to argue my case. If he didn’t want to see it from my perspective, there was nothing I could do.
“I’m going to the den to finish feeding my daughter. I’ll be taking off soon, so you can try to enjoy the end of your night.”
He grumbled something I couldn’t understand, picked up the tray of coffees, then strode off toward the basement.
Trying to shrug off the whole interaction, I headed toward the den, gazing down at Juniper, whose eyes had become droopy. She’d be asleep by the time the milk was gone.
That was the excuse I needed to leave. If Holden and Chloe weren’t ready yet, I’d call an Uber. I was exhausted from all the interaction and introductions.
As welcoming as everyone had been, Cash had made it all too clear I might never fit in here.