Chapter 14
Quincy
Eight p.m. had come and gone when I finally got my sister Hannah and my stepmother out of Knox’s house.
I leaned on the kitchen island, planting my elbows on it and wearily running my hands over my face. Trying to be a peacemaker got me in trouble every time. I hadn’t volunteered for the role.
Hannah, who was sixteen, had texted saying she needed to talk and wondering if she could come over. Of course, I’d said yes. Wanting to be a nonjudgmental ear whenever she needed one, I always said yes to Hannah when she wanted to talk.
The door behind me opened, and I whipped around, on guard, thinking either Hannah or my stepmom had come back.
Instead it was Knox and Juniper, and my shoulders sagged with relief.
“Are you okay?” Knox asked as he closed the door behind them.
“Yeah,” I breathed out. I sought out the adorable baby in the carrier, saw she was sound asleep, and drank in the sight of her, letting her soothe my tattered nerves. “It looks like socializing wore her out.”
“Her and me both.” I glanced up at Knox’s face and could see fatigue in his eyes. “I’m going to see if I can get her transferred to bed without waking her. She finally fell asleep about twenty minutes ago.”
“Baby babbles are the best,” I said quietly, glancing down at her. “You gave me the afternoon off. I’m back on duty now. I can put her to bed.”
He seemed to consider it for a moment, then shook his head. “I’d like to if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. She’s your daughter.”
Knox tossed the diaper bag to the floor near the couch, then carried the princess down the hall toward her room as I wondered if he was okay. He seemed subdued.
Earlier he’d admitted to being nervous about the day, but knowing the Henrys pretty well and some of the Norths, I’d predicted he would be welcomed with open arms. He wasn’t as upbeat now as I’d expected.
I glanced around to make sure the kitchen was clean. I’d just been finishing an early dinner when Hannah had texted.
The day was overcast and chilly, so I’d turned the gas fireplace on to an auto setting so it wouldn’t heat up too much like a sauna. The house was cozy and dimly lit.
I wandered over to the sectional and flopped onto it, waiting for Knox to come out, hoping to find out how his family debut had gone.
Maybe I was just the nanny, but we weren’t formal around here.
It felt as if we were becoming friends, maybe because he’d needed so much help with Juniper at first. He didn’t treat me like he was my boss.
Maybe it would be better if he did.
Maybe then I wouldn’t have naughty thoughts about him.
Ha. I’d still have naughty thoughts about him.
He was too good-looking not to. Add in that image I couldn’t erase from my mind of him sleeping next to his daughter, and it wasn’t just his looks.
That man had taken in a baby without knowing if she was his, even though it made him fully uncomfortable.
How could I not be turned inside out by a heart like that?
Add in that he was intelligent, like really smart, and it was tough to ignore the thoughts…
“What’s going on?” he asked, startling me. “You seem not quite yourself.” He came around the end of the sectional and sat perpendicular to me, about a foot away. Close enough for me to catch a hint of his masculine scent as I lay there.
“I could say the same to you.” I smiled, trying to shake off my stepmom’s lingering effects. I hated letting her get to me.
“I’m fine. Good.”
With a quiet laugh, I said, “You don’t seem completely fine and good.”
He studied me for a few seconds. “You tell me yours; I’ll tell you mine,” he said lightly.
My stepmom wasn’t my favorite topic, but I couldn’t resist the chance to find out more about his family dinner.
“My story’s not that exciting,” I said.
“You looked upset when I came in.”
I was lying on my back, where I’d landed, and I stared up at the ceiling, thinking of how to summarize Cynthia.
“What happened while I was gone?” he persisted.
I rolled to my side and propped myself up on my elbow. “I hope you don’t mind I let my sister come over. She texted me, wanting to talk.”
“Is this the teenage one?”
I nodded. “Hannah. The oldest of my halves. She was pissed at my parents because they won’t let her go to the big bonfire in Runner after the next football game.”
“Runner’s the town on the other side of the lake, right?”
“Yep. Our rivals in sports.”
“So what’d you tell your sister?”
“Mostly I let her vent.”
“It’s good she can come to you.”
“It’s not easy being sixteen,” I said. “Some of her friends are going, so she thinks she should be able to.”
“Did you do stuff like that when you were her age? What was that, about five years ago?” he teased.
“Twelve, thank you.” I laughed. It wasn’t the first comment he’d made about my age.
It didn’t bother me. I’d had plenty of thoughts about how much older than me he was.
The more I got to know him though, the less the gap felt like a big deal.
We could talk as if we were the same age.
“I went to the bonfire in Runner a few times,” I said. “But my parents didn’t know about it.”
“You’ve got some rebel in you.”
I pursed my lips to the side in thought. “Not really. Not normally. When it comes to my stepmom though…” I shook my head. “We don’t get along. We haven’t since day one.”
“Which was when?” He propped his legs up on the ottoman and settled back into the cushions, still just as close to me.
“She married my dad when I was eleven, less than two years after my mom died in a car wreck.”
“It must’ve have been hard to lose your mom so suddenly,” he said quietly.
I closed my eyes as an unexpected wave of sadness engulfed me.
The accident happened a long time ago, and I’d grieved so much, but it could still broadside me.
“Yeah.” I struggled to get my feelings tucked in so I could talk.
“My mom was special. I mean, of course I think that, but everyone did. The whole town knew her. She was a real estate agent and good at her job. If you were selling a house, you called Reba. She was president of the PTA, in charge of all kinds of community events, and good at all of it,” I said with an adult admiration I hadn’t had back then.
“I see what you mean about special. Plus she raised a pretty amazing daughter.”
His words spiked a warm pleasure inside me amid the sadness. “And a son. I have an older brother, Ryan. He lives in Nashville.”
“How old is he?”
I did some quick math. “Thirty-seven. Actually he’s business partners with Sierra’s brother.”
“Sierra North?”
I nodded. “Maiden name Lowell. Her brother is Jackson. Their company is Tech Horse Software.”
“It’s a small, small world,” Knox said. “I met Sierra tonight. Liked her.”
“Tell me more.”
“We’re not done with you yet. So your dad married in less than two years? That must’ve been devastating for you.”
“I was not open to having a stepmom. I resented her from the first time my dad went out with her. My brother was already in college, so my dad and I were alone after my mom died. It was hard, but it became comfortable. And then it wasn’t.”
“It was always just me and my mom,” he said. “I can’t imagine how it would’ve felt if she met someone when I was a teenager.”
I wondered what teenage Knox was like, loved getting that tiny glimpse into how he’d grown up.
“I bet you were super close to her,” I said.
“Yeah,” was all he said, and I could hear the emotion, the grief that was a lot newer than mine.
I checked the urge to touch the hand that clenched his jeans on his thigh. I didn’t want to bring on his sadness, so I went back to my family. “I’m happy my dad is happy. He deserves to be. But it’s taken me a lot of years to be able to see it that way.”
“You were a kid who lost her mom. It’s a blow at any age.”
I nodded. “I’d like to think I’ve grown up, but my relationship with Cynthia hasn’t changed. It’s exhausting. There are times when I just wish we could be closer. I love her kids so much, and they’ll always be part of my life. And my dad… He hates that we don’t get along.”
We were both quiet for a couple minutes. Then he asked, “Have you ever thought about sitting down with her and talking, burying the hatchet?”
“She’s never asked.”
“What if you approached her?”
I frowned, trying to imagine it. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Maybe if you were the bigger person and made the first move, she’d admit she’s tired of not getting along too.”
“Maybe.”
Before I could think more in-depth about that, he asked, “So your stepmom was here too?”
I scowled, thinking back to earlier. “She tracked Hannah down by her phone and barged in. I’m sorry. I know we didn’t discuss me having people over.”
“They’re your family,” he said. “It doesn’t bother me. Seems to have bothered you though.”
“There was drama.” I sat up and cradled my knees to my chest. “She accused me of undermining her by letting my sister come over, even though I tried to get Hannah to understand that particular bonfire can be dangerous, especially on the night our two teams play.”
“So you took your parents’ side, but your stepmother was mad anyway?”
“She didn’t stop to ask. All she saw was that Hannah came to me instead of her. You’d think she would just be relieved her daughter has someone to talk to besides her friends.”
“Yeah, you’d think.”
I reclined again and shifted onto my stomach, folding my arms under my head, tired of thinking of it, of her. “So tell me about your afternoon.”
“My afternoon,” he repeated. He leaned his head back into the cushion, his gaze going to the ceiling. “Mixed bag. It was weird.”
“Weird how?”
“I had some good moments with my dad when I got there. Really good.”
“So that wasn’t the weird part?”
“That was the good part. Then I met everyone I didn’t know, one by one. Tried to fit in. Failed.”
I lifted my head to look at him, my brows shooting up. “That is a lot. Why do you say you failed?”