10. Mia
10
MIA
I wasn’t prepared for Henry to kiss me. And I wasn’t ready for it to be over. Being interrupted by Owen and Ann sucked, too. I’d spent far too long imagining the moment to want anyone butting in.
I was thrown off by seeing people from the office right when Henry charged ahead on challenging why we couldn’t be together. As it was, I was wholly unprepared for how to react in front of them, let alone Henry. Had it just been me and him, I would’ve acted on a lot more desire in the privacy of our moment.
Turning tail and running out of Danger might not had been my finest exit, but it worked. I was too blown away by the fact that Henry kissed me to do anything wiser.
As I walked down the hallway of the office on the following Wednesday, I bit on the inside of my cheek and resisted all those huge emotions from sweeping through me. The mere memory of Henry’s lips on mine reignited them all.
Excitement. Joy. Desire. Euphoria. Glee. Satisfaction.
And so much more lust. One kiss was not enough, but we hadn’t had a chance to be together again, not even here at the office.
He was in meetings. Or I was swamped with calls from other departments. If he wasn’t in his executive suite, he was out for reports from supervisors and managers. And if I wasn’t in my cubby-hole of an office, I was busy catching up on sleep from the nights of dancing.
Not having to face Henry was a blessing. I missed seeing him, of course. I wished I could talk to him, but with this funkiness, this confusing post-kiss aftermath, I was grateful not to have to address it.
Maybe we can just pretend it never happened and move on?
My thoughts stalled me in place. I paused near his office, obligated to interact long enough to drop off some forms.
Ignoring the lapse we mutually shared wouldn’t be fair. Not to me. I didn’t want to pretend it never happened. I didn’t want to move on and act like it was nothing.
It was something, a very big something, according to me. Yet, I wasn’t sure how to approach him and figure out why he’d kissed me and if it was a fluke one-time thing or something representative of much more.
After drawing in a deep sigh, I resumed walking toward his door. I didn’t see him through the glass window, and as I let myself in, I wasn’t sure if I should be relieved or disappointed to have missed him. I set the documents on his desk and made sure the Sign Here tabs were all affixed in the proper places.
I didn’t linger, not wanting to trespass. As I walked out and closed his door behind me, I heard someone striding down the hall.
Not again. Seriously. Not freaking again.
Ann was here, invading the peace of the office setting. She’d made a habit of popping in whenever she pleased, and she pleased often. Every day—multiple times—she’d stop in to chat with Henry. Oftentimes, she attempted to pull him off a call or interrupt a conversation. At this rate, Jen would never stop grumbling about her constant visits and distracting manner. Each time Ann showed up, she expected to be treated like royalty visiting without any concern of getting in anyone’s way.
And here she was. Soliciting for Henry’s attention. Probably his wealth, too. I didn’t like to form quick opinions without much basis, but nothing suggested she was interested in him for anything but his money.
“Oh. It’s you.” She turned her nose up at me. “Again.”
“Likewise,” I muttered.
She narrowed her eyes. “What was that?’
“Nothing.”
Behind her, Laura and Jason entered the hall. As soon as Jason spotted me, he charged full-speed ahead to launch at me. Weaving and darting around others in the hall, he grinned and sprinted to reach me.
I couldn’t help but smile back, waiting for his hug. Feeling his little arms wrapped around me always improved my mood.
On his way, he bumped into Ann’s side a bit, sending her purse swinging.
“Oh!” She scowled as Jason passed in a blur, determined to get to me.
I lowered, holding my arms open to catch him. We both giggled and laughed. Because he lifted my spirits, I spun him an extra round.
“What’s up, kiddo?” I asked him.
“I’ve got to run out and pick up something really quick,” Laura said as she glanced around the office. She was clearly seeking Henry, because when she didn’t spot him, she winced. “I thought he’d be here. I was bringing Jason for his lunch hour.” Peeking at her watch, she winced deeper. “Shoot. I can’t wait long.”
“I’ll help Mia while I wait for Daddy,” Jason said, taking my hand as I lowered him to stand. He swung our arms back and forth, too close to a plant on a stand, and I hurried to catch it before it fell.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” I nodded at Laura. “Go on and get your script. Is it helping yet?”
She groaned. “No. Not yet. I hope this different med helps. I am so impatient to get back into the classes I like at the gym.”
I held up my crossed fingers. “Hopefully soon.”
Jason darted off, running to look at the fish in the long tank set against the wall, and I just caught a glimpse of him dashing off to get a peppermint from the dish near the copier room I used the most. Each time he ran around, Laura shook her head and I smiled.
“Oh, to have that kind of energy,” she teased. “You sure he’ll be okay with you?”
I huffed a little laugh. “Of course.” I’d kept Jason with me at the office many times, but still, Laura would always check. Even though Henry was a busy businessman, he would never want Jason to feel like he wasn’t welcome here. Laura, his gym-rat of a neighbor cursed with arthritis, was simply conscious of how energized and wild Jason could be. Like he was today.
“Okay.” She frowned at his doing a hopscotch sort of jump pattern on the tile squares of the floor.
I waved her off. “It’s fine. He can hang out with me until Henry’s out of his meetings.”
As soon as she left, I held out my hand for Jason to take it. He’d behave in my small office. “Come on, kiddo.”
He ran toward me, bumping into Ann again.
“My God !” she snapped, scowling again as she righted her purse. “What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing!” he replied. “You’re just standing in the middle of the way.”
I pressed my lips together tightly, fighting a laugh. Even he could notice how she didn’t belong here.
“Well, you’re just running around like a terrible child.” She sneered as he skidded to a stop in front of me, messing up the rug and almost falling. “A nuisance.” Setting a hand on her hip, she tipped her nose up even more, as if she wasn’t haughty enough. “You belong in a boarding school. And just go away from here.” A nasty huff ended her tirade.
My jaw dropped. Jason’s small hand found mine and clutched tightly.
Ann hadn’t shown any kindness to Jason. They hadn’t crossed paths much, but she’d seen him in and out of here while summer break kept him out of school during the day. Each time she saw him, she went out of her way to dismiss him or view him as a distraction. Not a person.
Anger burned hot within me. I narrowed my eyes, seething and loathing this awful woman’s presence in our lives at all.
“How dare you!”
Jason sniffled, turning to burrow his face against me as he began to cry. “I don’t want to go to a boarding school!”
“You’re not,” I told him, hugging him close as I stared down Ann. “And you are far out of line to ever suggest that.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are!” I glowered at her, ready to retaliate harder if she argued that point.
“ You have no right to tell me what to do.” She pointed at me then herself for emphasis. “You just work here.”
“That does not matter. You have absolutely no right to speak to him like that. To suggest he get shipped off to a boarding school, of all places!”
“He should be.” She smirked as Jason cried louder.
Jen raised her brows as she stepped into the open part of the office. She’d overheard the commotion, as did a few others who watched the drama.
Ann wasn’t done. “He should just get out of the way and stay far?—”
Jason clung to me tighter. “I don’t want to go anywhere, Mia!”
I smoothed down his hair. “You’re not.” Jabbing my finger at Ann, I hardened my stance and readied to tear into her. “Don’t speak like that to him, ever, ever again!”
This poor boy. Already struggling with a workaholic father, an absent mother. He just wanted love, to be loved and give it to those he deemed worthy. And here she was, acting like he was an unwanted pest to send away.
“I will talk however I see fit. He’s in the way?—”
“He’s not in anyone’s way.” I stepped closer, wishing I could jab my finger at her hard enough to knock her over. “And if you think he’s in your way, when you don’t belong here at all, good riddance.”
“ I don’t belong here?” She exaggerated a stupid bark of laughter and rolled her eyes. “Uh, yeah, I do. With Henry.”
“The hell you do.”
“Are you implying that I need your permission?”
“No. But I will be damned if you’ll come here uninvited and say such a horrible thing like telling him he needs to be shoved aside at a boarding school.”
“Who’s going to a boarding school?”
Ann froze at the sound of Henry’s voice behind her. She blocked my view of him as he’d entered. I was so focused on consoling Jason and standing up for him that all the other details about the room faded to nothing.
“Um.” Ann dropped her scowl as she turned to face Henry.
He stood behind her, furrowing his brow at Jason crying and hanging on to me. Ignoring Ann’s suddenly sweet smile, he strode toward me.
My heart broke when Jason held me tighter and cried. He turned a bit to see Henry as he crouched down to be at his eye level.
“She said I should just go away. And be at a boarding school,” Jason sobbed, pointing at Ann.
“No. No. He misunderstood,” Ann argued in a sugary tone. “Oh, goodness. I’d never say anything like that.” With Henry’s back to her as he picked up Jason, she glared daggers at me.
I felt defensive of Henry on the principle of her being just another gold digger going after him, but now, I felt rabid to fight her away to keep Jason safe.
“There was no misunderstanding.” I crossed my arms, and Henry held Jason and stood. “I was right here. I heard every word.”
“Nonsense,” Ann said.
“Jace, no. You’re not going anywhere.” Henry smoothed his hair down while I rubbed the boy’s back. “Never. You hear me? You’re never going to a boarding school. You’ll always be with me.”
“And Mia?” he asked, lifting his face from Henry’s shoulder.
The sight of his tear-streaked face shattered my heart. This poor boy. He had been afraid of the concept of boarding schools ever since he watched a movie about a pair of brothers being sent to one and getting trapped there.
“I’m here,” I told him, continuing to rub his back.
He moved, twisting out of Henry’s arms to reach for me. As soon as I held him, he sniffled. “I wish you were my mommy.”
Oh, God. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. I’d had that dream many times, wondering how sweet it’d be for us to be a family, a real one. Focusing on consoling him, I started to walk away with him.
“I don’t have time for you, Ann. I’ve made myself clear,” Henry said.
“Oh, I know how busy you are. But I made reservations for lunch for us?—”
“No.” Henry stated that one word clearly. “I’m…” He gestured at Jason. “I’m concerned about my son. I had plans to have lunch with him, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Mia? Will you come?”
I nodded, resting my head on top of Jason’s.
“What?” Ann’s sweetness soured as she clearly felt put out. “I make reservations for us and you turn around and ask her out?”
“I have other priorities.”
“I came here just for lunch. With you. That’s why I’m here.”
“No one asked you to be here,” I sassed.
She narrowed her eyes until Henry faced her again. “I made plans for us to get lunch.”
“ You made plans for lunch. I did as well. And they don’t include you.” Henry sighed at Jason clinging to me. “My family is more important right now.”
She snorted. “Well, your family is. But she’s not.” She flicked her hand at me, dismissing me. “She’s just an employee.”
Oh, fuck you. I hated that term. Ever since Eddie said it, reminding me that I was just an employee, I worried that the label could be true.
“Hey, you know what?” I let Jason stand so he could go back to Henry, who watched him with worry. “I actually can’t do lunch today.” I willed myself to stay strong through the lie. I was ready to go. If Jason—and Henry—wanted me to go to lunch with them, I would. But being stuck in the middle like this didn’t feel good. Her words hurt. Jason saying he wished I was his mommy made my heart ache. And I couldn’t face Henry without his seeing how badly I wanted him to push Ann further out of his life and consider me a woman worthy of really being with him.
As more than just an employee.
“I’ve got to meet with a friend, but I’ll bring back that ice cream we like, okay?” I said to Jason.
He nodded, still sniffling. The barest hint of a smile touched his lips, and I exhaled in relief.
“But—”
I turned, ignoring Henry calling out to me. Ann could win this round. She was supposed to win him . Competing for Henry against a woman like that wouldn’t end well for me, so I resorted to what was becoming my latest tactic of getting out of awkward situations.
I ran.
I extracted myself and sought to hide from it all—my feelings for Henry, the disappointment that he couldn’t be mine, and the horrible woman who made it no secret that she wanted him.
I hurried to grab my purse and leave. Gina would be at Danger. She doubled as my boss and my friend, and I knew I could count on her to hear me out while the club was cleaned, closed during the day.
That was where I found her, snacking at one of the tables while the maintenance crew cleaned and mopped on the stage. She raised her brows, pausing mid-bite of a sandwich to stare at me. “You ran all the way from the big office uptown to come here?”
“Just a subway stop… or five… away.” I huffed out a deep breath as I plopped in a chair.
With aplomb, she took me in, noticing my office wear of a plaid skirt and white blouse, minimal makeup, and sensible shoes. I’d hurried, even with the subway ride, and I was sure I looked a mess. I felt like one, thinking about all that happened at the office with Ann and Jason.
“You look so…” She gestured at me.
“Stressed?”
“Well, yeah. You always are. But so different.”
I shrugged. She was used to seeing me in my stage wear. But she could also recognize me as myself. That night Henry kissed me, she’d spotted me. It was half the reason I ran. If she noticed me, others could too. Gina knew about my job, my addiction to being near Henry. All of it. I confided in her often, seeing her as a friend when I lacked time to look for any and make them naturally outside of the workplace. Or workplaces, for me.
Gina knew not to approach me with Henry, but I couldn’t assume the same for everyone else. Hence, my rush to get out of there, to keep my lives and identities separate.
“Like the other night, when you were here with the boss man.” She rolled her eyes. “I forgot to mention how that blondie was talking shit about the dancers. The waiters overheard her when she ordered her ridiculous drinks from the bar—and then demanded them to remake them when they weren’t ‘right’.”
“Ann? She was talking about the dancers?”
“Yep. Said they had to be lowlife losers who couldn’t get normal jobs. Then she bitched about the whole club. Clearly, I don’t deliver to her expectations.” Once more, she rolled her eyes.
“I’m not surprised.” I shook my head and rambled about why I’d rushed here to talk to her. I needed to get it all off my chest, and as she ate a sandwich—offering me some as well, which I accepted—I spilled the details. How Ann was clearly digging her claws into Henry. How she said that horrible crap to Jason about a boarding school. All of it.
“Well.” Finished with her sandwich, she wiped her mouth and tossed the napkin to the table. She crossed her arms and leaned back. “When are you going to just make your damn move on him? Huh?” She raised her brows, all too aware of how I’d had a crush on him forever. “When are you going to tell him how you feel about him, for real?”
I dropped my face in my hands and whined. “I don’t know. I can’t.” I shot back up to face her. “Technically, he’d already made a move. He kissed me, right? That’s a move. But then she showed up, and that was that.”
“That was that? He didn’t say anything about it? He’s acting like it never happened?”
I cringed. “We’ve both been too busy. I haven’t had a chance to speak with him alone.”
Until today. He asked me to lunch, and I ran here instead.
“This friendship thing between you two has gone on long enough, though, hasn’t it?”
“I’m just worried he will never want me as anything more than his secretary. Than his friend.”
She shot me a dubious look. “He kissed you.”
“But that could’ve been a heat-of-the-moment thing. Jealousy because another man was hitting on?—”
“A ha !” She pointed at me. “Jealous of another man near you… because he wants you.”
I shook my head. “Aside from that, I am his employee. And that will always stand between us.” Talking with her felt a lot like listening to a devil’s advocate. She was all for my telling Henry how badly I desired him. Hearing myself talk out loud aided in getting it all out of my mind and off my chest, though.
“I need to work harder on keeping things separate in my life. Henry is my boss, and that’s a job I need?—”
“But you’re halfway in love with both of them. Father and son.” She frowned, concerned for me.
“—to pay off the last time I lowered my guard and thought I was in love with someone.” The last time I let love in, I was hurt so badly.
“Not every man will be like Dennis,” she said gently.
I sighed, hating to hear my ex’s name. Because of him, I was conned into participating in an armed burglary. Because of him, I’d been stuck with all the blame and captured, forced to serve a sentence for a crime I had no knowledge about until it had happened. I’d done minor time for a crime I hadn’t committed. I had a record to expunge because I’d been duped to think a man loved me and wouldn’t use me.
Henry wouldn’t. I knew he wouldn’t do anything to be in the same category as Dennis.
The residual pain from being burned in love lasted to this day, and it served to warn me back from wanting more with Henry anytime soon. It was simply too complicated.
Or is it?
“I say you should just tell him how you feel about him,” Gina advised. “Or… tell him that you’re the dancer he’s trying to contact and bribe to work for him.”
I shook my head faster. “Heck no,” I replied of the latter.
It had to be safer to keep my worlds separate—for as long as I could.