11. Henry
11
HENRY
M ia didn’t want to have lunch with me and Jason, and it didn’t sit well with me. She came to our arcade night, but she seemed to only focus on my son, being merely cordial to me. That was how sensitive she was to him, perceiving when he might need more reassurances. If Ann made a flippant comment about Jason going to a boarding school—which I couldn’t see why or how she’d assume she’d have any say in that matter—then Jason’s upset mood made sense.
I didn’t ask Mia about it. I wanted her to explain what happened. But she was a distraction. She was that good at making my son smile that I couldn’t bear to bring up the topic. At least not around him. Instead, I went along with the evening and had fun, too, watching Jason for any sign of his being sad or anxious.
I was sure that many children did well at boarding schools. Or I hoped they would. Jason had asked many questions about those kinds of institutions after he watched a movie about it, and I hated that it instilled a fear in his mind.
No, he’d never go to a boarding school. He belonged at home, with his family, even if it was small. I was the holdup for keeping our family unit so small. If I could marry and have more kids, then he wouldn’t be so lonely. I lacked the time go hunting for a wife. And it seemed that Jason had already made up his mind about that, anyway.
“I wish you were my mommy.”
I’d never forget my son’s teary face as he said that to the woman I couldn’t get out of my mind.
I groaned, closing my eyes and dropping my head back to rest it on my chair. Rubbing my face didn’t soothe me. It didn’t perk me up. I was frustrated and tired, and adding my desire for Mia into the mix worsened my patience.
I’d been too busy to get a moment alone with her. I was working. She was working. Jason needed more attention from me. My dad did, too, with some paperwork getting snagged.
I wanted a chance to talk with Mia like we usually did. We were past due to discuss the kiss at Danger. And I was eager to hear what she had to say about Ann and Ann’s comments. I wasn’t blind. I knew Ann was a gold digger, too eager and pushy for my time. Though she might think she was hiding her expressions when my back was turned to her, I noticed the tail end of her sneers, scowls, and rolling eyes. Besides, she was too damn sugary with me for it not to be fake and forced.
Mia wasn’t available, though, also unusually busy. She always came in late, apparently because she had a habit of staying up late reading. Jen constantly praised her bookworm routine, but I wondered if that was true. If she read that much, wouldn’t she talk about books, too? She never did, not with me when I asked her about what she was currently reading. I’d given up on asking, getting a hunch that she actually did something else at night.
But if she’s not at home reading into the morning, what is she doing? I debated every day whether Mia was actually the homebody she appeared to be outside her working hours here at the office.
I hated the thought of her being busier than usual because of that kiss. I had yet to explain why I’d had to kiss her. It wasn’t only because I wanted that guy and everyone else at the club to see that she was with me. I also felt prompted to act on my question, when I put her on the spot and challenged her about why we couldn’t be out on a date at the club.
I’d asked her to come with me to scope out talent. For work. But it felt like so much more. Every second spent in her company felt supercharged and more exciting.
“But it couldn’t have been a date,” I mumbled aloud as I sat up and opened my eyes at my computer screen.
Mia and I couldn’t do anything so long as we both worked for Dunn Enterprises. While I couldn’t stop thinking about the sensation of her lips against mine and how badly I wanted to kiss her again, I couldn’t risk breaking the company’s policies to start something with her.
I sighed, looking at the photo on my desk. Picking it up made me feel closer to her, closer to that fun moment I’d had with her.
My dad wouldn’t understand it. He simply would not be able to believe me or accept it if I approached him and told him that I wanted to date Mia. That I dreamed about kissing her. That I fantasized about making love to her and learning if she was a quiet lover or a loud?—
“Goddammit.” I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling, annoyed with my train of thoughts. She so easily derailed me, just like this. All these what-ifs between us.
After the way Mackenzie duped me and abandoned me and Jason, leaving to go work for a rival company, my dad wouldn’t be able to understand that I’d want to risk it all again. Mackenzie and that other guy weren’t together any longer, either. She hadn’t leaked secrets or anything like that. She’d simply wanted to fuck someone else and not be a mom.
Still, the breakup phase was tense. I had been stressed with Jason, who got ill a couple of weeks after birth. My father had still been in charge as CEO then, and he’d faced a fair share of backlash from the media.
I got it. I understood that my mistakes in love and trust had caused difficulties. When it all fell apart, he’d scolded me about why I couldn’t have “just kept it in my pants”.
He’d think that again about Mia, regardless of his high opinions of her. If I was stubborn, I bet he’d tell me to fire her, then see if she wanted me. And I couldn’t do that. I refused to make her lose her job.
Once more, I lowered my head. I rubbed my brow, scanning through texts with Jen on my phone about a little fire she’d had to put out. All of the employees here were the best of the best, all treated fairly and welcomed for their skills. Mia, included.
“There’s just no way around it,” I mused out loud.
“No way around what?”
I looked up, catching Owen walking in. “Nothing.”
“No, no, no.” He sat, stretching his legs. “We’re too good of friends to play that crap. There’s no way around what?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him I was fretting about there being no way around the no-fraternization rules barricading me from pursuing Mia like I wished I could. He’d caught us kissing. I knew he was more than curious. But so far, he hadn’t said a single word.
Perhaps it’d be wiser to not bring it up. “No way around that manager, Gina, to find that dancer,” I said instead.
While it was true, and I had been working on finding that dancer, it was far from what was really on my mind—Mia.
Owen chuckled. “She’s a tough one.”
“She’s protecting her employees’ privacy.”
He nodded. “Sure. And I applaud that. But hell, man. We stopped in there yesterday and told her to let that dancer know that we’d offer her five times what she was making at that club.”
“And still nothing.” I sighed, feeling defeated. “I can’t explain it, either. I know there are many other dancers, and the scouts are showing me résumés of others, but something about her just… drew me in.”
“I can tell. You’ve never chased after someone you wanted to hire like this before.”
The only other time that someone’s simple gaze captivated me like that was the first day I met Mia, when she was a secretary’s assistant here. One instance of eye contact, and I was magnetized to her.
We were stopped from discussing that mystery dancer any further. My dad walked in, all smiles. “Hey. Both of my favorite boys in one place.”
Owen had always been like a brother to me, best friends and now colleagues. Since he was an orphan and never had a dad, he didn’t seem to mind having a father figure here. “What’s up, Eddie?”
“Just coming by to ask if you’re bringing anyone to the company’s family picnic.” He stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “I wanted to stop by after lunch with a few retirees who mentioned that it’d be coming up.” He grinned at me. “You’ll bring Ann, right?”
“Yeah, how about Ann?” Owen asked.
Since that night at the club, he received a lengthy explanation from me about how little I was interested in the blonde. His teasing me like this now was cruel.
“No.” I shook my head and folded my hands on my desk. “I’m not bringing anyone. I don’t have time to bring a date. Mia and I volunteered to handle the bar booth.”
I’ll have a chance to talk to her there.
“Besides,” I added, “Jason and Laura will be there as usual. I want to make sure they have fun too.”
My dad shrugged. “I’ll be there too. I can keep an eye on Jason. And then we can ask around and have Jen swap some volunteers. You could do the bar booth with Ann!” His hopeful smile was so bright but so wrong.
Did he not get a clue? Couldn’t he sense my lack of enthusiasm where Ann was concerned?
I rolled my eyes. “Ann does not seem like the kind of person who would want to stand in the heat and pour drinks without pay.”
He frowned. “I’m sure she can volunteer?—”
“Why would she?” I wasn’t backing down. I loved him, but I wasn’t about to be a complete pushover to make him happy. He asked me to show her around and I tried to do that. Being polite was one thing, but I’d told that woman I wasn’t available.
“She’s not a Dunn employee. Not affiliated to the company. And she’s not family.” I grunted a faint laugh. “Why does Ann need to be there at all?”
Annoyance kicked in. I saw it clear as day in his scowl and how quickly he propped his fists to his sides. “Dammit, Henry. You push every woman away!”
“I’m not looking for a woman, Dad.”
“Why?” He set his hands on the edge of my desk. “I know you want more of a family. Jason does too. And me. Why are you so damn hesitant and reluctant to make that more of a possibility?”
Owen cleared his throat. “You know what, if Ann really wants to go to this picnic, I can show her around for a bit.”
Dad exhaled long and hard, aggrieved, once again.
But I couldn’t tell him the truth. The real truth.
I didn’t want any woman he shoved at me because they weren’t Mia.
She was the only one I’d want, and I had no way to get her.
“Thanks, Owen,” Dad muttered, still shooting me a disappointed look. “I already told her about it and all.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll be there, and I didn’t sign up for a booth to volunteer at.”
Dad left a moment later, needing to take a call from his broker, and as he walked out, Owen looked at me oddly. Like he suspected something was up. The second the door closed, he faced me. “All right. What’s going on? I saw you kissing Mia at Danger. You’re acting cagey?—”
“I’m not acting cagey.”
“—and you can’t stand the idea of being near Ann.”
“Can you?” I huffed. “I appreciate your taking a hit for the team and all, but really, you don’t need to sacrifice yourself to go to that picnic with her.”
“If I didn’t step in like that, your dad would’ve kept pushing. Now I think I know the reason you push all those women away. I think I’ve got a good guess why none of the dates he brings to meet you last.”
I kept my lips shut as he stared me down.
“What’s going on, Henry?” He leaned closer, setting his elbow on my desk. “Is it Mia? I know I saw you kiss her. I think Ann saw, too.”
I nodded, feeling so much lighter just to finally admit it. “I can’t stop thinking about her. About wanting something more with her.”
He furrowed his brow. “For how long?”
I scoffed. “Forever.”
“No. I meant how long have you been wondering about hooking up with her?”
“I don’t want a hookup with her. I want…”
He groaned, raking his hand through his hair. “Shit. Henry. Come on. You went through this with Mackenzie. You can’t seriously be telling me that you wanna repeat history and sleep with someone in the office again.”
“Mackenzie came on to me. She pursued me. And it’s not the same at all. Mackenzie was a hookup. Mia wouldn’t be.”
He frowned hard, looking at me like I was the world’s biggest idiot. “You’re playing with fire.”
I was, but there was no way to climb out of the flames now.
Mia was imprinted on my soul, and I wouldn’t feel complete until I knew for a fact that we couldn’t be together.