Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Magnolia
Friday morning I awoke with a pit of dread in my gut.
When I’d called my mother back, I’d agreed to meet with her in spite of my misgivings.
Today was the day. My office was the place. I’d intentionally insisted on meeting in my “territory” but away from my apartment. I didn’t need her knowing where I lived.
In the days since, I’d waffled between drowning in decades-old anger at her and blocking the entire situation from my mind.
If she had contacted me sooner, like years sooner, I’d hold a lot more hope that we might be able to come to some sort of peace. Instead I harbored about ninety-six percent anger and four percent hope that anything good could come of this.
I had no idea why she wanted to meet or why now. Part of me had wanted to refuse her and tell her where to stick it, but I had enough questions that I’d agreed. I’d find out what she wanted, ask my questions, get her out of here, and go on with my life.
I’d made our appointment time toward the end of the workday in case it was emotionally taxing. I was certain it would be.
Now it was nearly time for her to show up. I wasn’t a big drinker, but I eyed the bottles of wine and champagne in my drink cooler. I needed to keep my walls strong though, and even a small amount of alcohol could potentially weaken me. I chose a bottle of water instead.
I was sitting at my desk, trying to focus on the bar mitzvah celebration I’d booked yesterday, when the outside door opened exactly on time. My body tensed as I turned my attention to the outer room.
“Hello?” came the chillingly familiar voice from my past.
My stomach roiled as I stood and went to the open doorway. “Hello, Mother,” I said through a tight jaw.
“Magnolia,” she gushed, smiling nervously. “Look at you. You’ve grown up.”
“That’ll happen over the course of eighteen years.” I didn’t have it in me to fake pleasantness. The wounds were too deep. “Come in.”
Her grin disappeared, and she averted her gaze as she entered my office, giving me the opportunity to really look at her.
She was dressed impeccably as she always had been, in a silky blouse, tailored slacks, and high-dollar medium heels.
Her jewelry was minimal but dripped with dollar signs as well.
She looked almost the same, her face barely aged in nearly two decades—except for her eyes.
Her eyes had a life-weary expression that went deeper than a poor night of sleep.
I suspected she’d had work done to stay so youthful, because her eyes didn’t match the rest of her.
“Have a seat,” I said as if she were a potential client visiting for the first time—but with less warmth.
She sat, shooting me a cross between a nervous smile and a grimace. I merely watched her, not making any move to offer comfort or hospitality.
“Well,” she said, “I imagine you’re very busy and wondering why I’ve contacted you, so I’ll get straight to the point. I owe you two big, major apologies that I know will never be sufficient, but I hope you’ll hear me out.”
With a shrug, I said, “Go for it,” as indifferently as I could.
She inhaled, her insecurity oozing out of her like a bad stench from a dumpster, wiping her hands on her thighs as if they were sweating.
“First…” Shaking her head, she looked off to the side.
“I’m so very sorry I left you, Magnolia.
I know an apology will never take that away, never fix your childhood, but I am genuinely sorry I had to do that.
I won’t offer you any excuses other than…
” She paused, seemingly searching for words, then shook her head again.
“I can’t easily describe my state of mind then, other than I was beyond miserable, trapped in a terrible marriage, and desperate to get out of your father’s grasp. ”
I frowned at the question that instantly popped into my mind. “Did he hit you?”
“That man’s abuse isn’t physical. It’s much more twisted and diabolical than that.”
I nodded, all too familiar with his manipulations and control games. “He was always like that. You left me with him, Mother. I was seventeen years old, and you left me with that.”
So much for keeping a lid on my emotions.
“I know,” she said in a rush. “I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’ve regretted that every second since.”
“You’re right. I don’t believe you. If you felt so bad, I would think you’d reach out sooner.”
Her face was pale, her eyes even more hollow than when she’d walked in. “I…couldn’t.” She blew out a shaky breath. “There are things you don’t know, Magnolia…things I’m not proud of. Reasons I’ve had to keep quiet.”
I waited her out, wondering if she was going to spill or if this would end up being just more BS from Bianca Lansford James.
“My marriage was an arranged marriage,” she said quietly, “dictated by my father for the sake of his business. Felix would not have been my choice. I know that sounds archaic, but believe me.”
My brows shot up my forehead, not because I didn’t believe my grandfather would do that but because I’d never figured out that’s why my parents had gotten married. It all made so much sense in that instant. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t guessed before.
“Because of the bylaws,” I said knowingly.
Her head whipped up, and she met my gaze. “Felix told you?”
“He didn’t mention that’s why he married you, but he tried the same trick with me.
The bylaws say the company can only be led by a family member or someone who marries into it.
I didn’t want anything to do with Lansford Development, not that he ever asked.
A few years ago, he handpicked the man he wanted to groom to eventually be his second-in-command and one day take over.
Then he manipulated me into an engagement. ”
“Oh, Magnolia,” she said as if she gave half a crap about me. “I had no idea—”
“Of course you didn’t,” I snapped. “How could you when you disappeared from my life?”
“I didn’t realize you were married.”
“I’m not.” I hadn’t anticipated how trauma-filled this visit would become so quickly.
She frowned. “When are you getting married?”
“I’m not. Initially I agreed to the engagement. Rick was not a love match, but he was good-looking enough and charming and attentive at first.”
“At first,” she said as if she’d been through the same thing. “When I first married Felix, I foolishly thought maybe we’d find our way to love.”
My mother and I had more in common than I’d ever guessed.
“Same. I’ll give him credit. Rick went all out in the early months.
Charm, gifts, kindness. He wanted to marry quickly, but I insisted I needed at least a year to plan a wedding.
Turns out Rick couldn’t be sweet for that long. Or to be more accurate, faithful.”
“I wish I could say I was surprised. So what happened?”
“I called him on it.” I thought back to the night more than two years ago at the bonfire, when I’d caught Rick texting some woman suggestive messages. “He had absolutely no remorse. He knew I was trapped and didn’t care one little bit about my feelings.”
“No,” she said. “They don’t. So did something happen to Rick?”
That she would assume something happened to him rather than that I stood up for myself was so telling.
“I happened. I refused to go through life with a husband who was so inconsiderate of me. Cheating itself would be bad enough, but the fact that when I caught him, he showed no remorse? And we weren’t even married yet?
” I shook my head with emphasis. “I couldn’t live like that.
I broke off the engagement. Dad disowned me that night.
Kicked me out with nothing but two suitcases of clothes and toiletries and my car.
He paid an after-hours locksmith to change the locks. ”
My mother nodded knowingly. “That’s how he is. Controlling and manipulative. I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“I’m not,” I said with no hesitation. “Being free of him is worth it. Free of both of them. You must understand that since you also broke free.”
“Not entirely.” She averted her eyes again. “I left, but I’m still married to him. Still under his thumb.”
I mentally reared back. They were still married? Why, if she went to the effort of getting away from him, was she still legally tied to him? “Why didn’t you divorce him?”
My mother leaned back in the chair and reclined her head, eyes closed. “We made an agreement when I left.”
“What? He told me you left without telling him, but if you made an agreement…”
She straightened and opened her eyes. “He knew very well I was leaving and how to get ahold of me. He had to in order to send me monthly stipends.”
“What’s he paying you for?”
“Keeping his secrets, primarily.” She shook her head. “Our relationship was so toxic, Magnolia… It still is.”
“You still have a relationship with him?”
“Only financially. I suspect I won’t after today.”
“What is today?”
“Today is the day I tell you everything. Or at least the relevant points.”
She looked scared or as if she might get sick, piquing my curiosity. “Okay.” I drew out the word and sat back in my chair, settling in.
“Like you, when my father introduced me to Felix James and told me I was to marry him or lose everything, I looked at the groom-to-be with possibility. Maybe we could make a decent life together. He was nice to look at and had this…charisma, I called it. Obviously Felix was dedicated to making my father happy and providing well for us. I didn’t entertain the thought of saying no.
My dad was my only family, and I’m not going to lie.
I liked the type of life his business provided for me.
I was into fashion, and fashion wasn’t cheap. ”
I remembered her gargantuan closet in the Dragonfly Heights house I’d grown up in.
It was filled with gowns of every color, everyday clothes in the finest fabrics with the most exclusive labels.
Her passion had spilled over to me back then.
Not surprising when you consider I wore designer duds as an infant.
Now the idea was ridiculous, but high fashion, designers, and the trendiest of outfits were a way of life in the James household.
“I was young,” my mother continued. “Naive. Stupidly hopeful. I expected better treatment than Felix could ever give me. After a grand, beautiful wedding, it went downhill fast. He was controlling and selfish. His needs were first, second, and third. But he was a master at saying the right things at the right time, not to mention showering me with extravagant gifts to make up for the bad times. But twenty months in, I found out he’d been unfaithful repeatedly.
With multiple partners. Sleeping around was his favorite pastime. ”
I wasn’t surprised in the least, though I’d never had proof. “But you stuck around?”
“Eventually I did one better. I had a fling of my own.”
My brows shot up because I hadn’t expected that. I’d never heard or seen any hint of my mother stepping out on my father. “Did he catch you?”
She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. Instantly she sobered and met my gaze. “He found out when I told him I was pregnant.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
“That’s when he informed me that he was unable to father any children.”
My job dropped open as my thoughts went into a spin cycle.
“Felix James is not your biological father, Magnolia.”