20. Tide
Date: 5-15-2024
Time: 0458
She’s so fucking beautiful when she’s sleeping with my marks on her. As much as I want to sit here and continue watching her, I can’t.
She was so distraught. I’ve had her yell at me, hit me, and come close to killing me on multiple occasions, but I’ve never seen her panic like that. In a sick way, I enjoyed knowing that it was me who caused that reaction. What I can’t stand is knowing someone put her through pain just so she could become some weapon.
I haven’t had a lick of shut eye, but I can’t, and I won’t. Not until I know what the actual hell is going on. I know I can’t push her like that again unless I want a chance of getting cut off both figuratively and literally, and I don’t want either. Especially now that I've felt how good she feels wrapped around me.
I hate being confused, and that’s all this woman has ever done to me. Yes, my father fucked up—he promised my mother the world, and he was close to getting it for her, but it didn’t work. He corrected his wrong doings just like she asked him to do before her death. To think that’s still what my siren thought about my task force tells me everything I need to know. I’m not an idiot by any means. I’m a seasoned soldier.
I know I’m on the verge of losing everything I’ve worked for with her, but maybe by the end I'll be able to fix the damage that was done to her pretty little head, and she'll understand.
Brushing a strand of hair off her forehead, I take my time to admire how peaceful she looks. She’s not a shark even in the most violent of ways, she’s just a little fish lost in the big ocean.
The sun is almost ready to come up. It peaks over the horizon through the vast windows beside the bed, highlighting her silhouette in the most ethereal way. Her bare back is exposed with the blanket draped just over her waist, making it almost physically impossible to keep my hands to myself. For once I'm grateful that I leave the curtains open every day. If I didn't then it'd be too dark to see the shiver that wracks her body from my finger trailing her spine. It’d be too easy and all too nice to just bury myself in her right now, making her watch the morning come to light over her biggest fear. God, she would be so beautiful it makes my cock stir at the thought.
The ping of my phone reminds me of why I can’t stay in this moment, forcing my body out of bed. I guess I fucked her into oblivion because she just snores in response. Good, she needed to get some actual sleep. Not once did she wake up in a panic throughout the night. I like to think that was my doing too.
I never thought I’d be the guy to find anything a woman does adorable, but the snort she makes as she buries her head deeper into the pillow is such a horrific sound I can’t help but grin as I pull on my pants. I’ll be making fun of her later for that.
Quietly, I make my way out of the room, careful not to slam the door this time. I know she’ll find me when she wakes up. For now, I need her rested, so when I get my hands on her later, I can wear her back out.
I shake my head, trying to focus on the task at hand. There’s something off. Nothing has made sense from the moment she arrived. I’ve always believed she was in the wrong, her team waged a war for no probable cause, and she followed. She hasn’t lied to me yet though, and something about last night keeps pulling at me. As always, I’m missing a piece.
There’s nowhere else to go than the one person I’ve been focusing on the whole time. Even that doesn’t make sense. What would he have to gain? It also doesn’t explain the planted bombs in both boats. I need to see the big picture. All he needs is a little nudge to show me the real reason behind it all.
The soft patter of feet follows behind me but that’s not unusual, the base is filled with men and women alike. What is unusual is flaming red hair tied in a neat bun below a new uniformed hat brushing straight past me making me pause in my tracks. I guess since I’ve been so wrapped in everything revolving around my little siren; I didn’t even realize we had brought in recruits.
Maybe Cordelia will be happier if she has a role here and fucking snacks. I’ll send Sam to the store tomorrow to stock up. Hopefully, she has enough for tonight because I need him for the day. He has the brain and no bias in the situation. So far, he’s been the only one to not show any emotion towards her. Honestly, it’s a smart choice on his end.
It doesn’t take long to find him, per usual he’s perched up in the security room checking over cameras, something I learned over time is like an obsessive behavior for him and thank God there’s more than one cup of coffee. No sleep was a bad idea, but it was so fucking worth it.
“Can’t you ever get your own fucking coffee?”
I try to fight back a smile as I bring his extra cup to my mouth and take a long drink of it. I prefer tea, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?
“You don’t get your coffee, so why should I?”
I place the paper cup in front of me as I sit down beside him. Most of the base assumes I’m too wrapped up in my things to catch onto anything else, but I’m not. After all, this is my base.
He’s quiet for a long moment, but I feel like he knows I’m not upset. Hell, I couldn't care less. I have what I want and she’s not leaving anytime soon. Correction: she’s not leaving ever. I should’ve installed cameras in our room. I’m already going insane with the need to at least see her.
“It’s not like that.” He mumbles. I’m half tempted to punch him in the face. I can't stand when someone lies or keeps secrets. I have a level enough head that most of the time I'm able to process the information without flipping out. I open my mouth to speak, but something catches my peripheral as he scrolls along his screen.
“Stop.” I bark, my fingers already hovering over the article, where he clicks it without question. We had been over all of them in the past. Americans feel the need to put everything in writing. However, this one is from years ago.
It’s still strange to me to see pictures of my little fish family with her nowhere in it, but I guess that was smart on her parents’ part. Oddly enough, Dutton isn’t even in this one, it’s just her parents standing proudly in front of a boat, each paragraph explaining what their travels will consist of.
Reading it now with Sharkie's words echoing in my head makes it seem more believable than before, but that still leaves me with the question of what the hell is happening.
“I can’t read minds, Tide, you gotta tell me what you’re thinking.”
“We’re missing something.” I mumble to myself more than him, not because I hate admitting it, but because I need to know how it feels coming off my tongue. Strangely enough, it doesn’t feel any different.
“It might be easier if you go through–”
“No.” I quickly disagree, already knowing he’s about to suggest my father's diaries. "We can figure this out."
“This is a fucking mess.”
I can’t disagree with him there. It is, and I’ll clean it up. During this time, I can categorize everything I already know and revisit things I try to forget. That bit of information I haven't told a soul about surely fits somewhere in this mess. I pull at the collar of my shirt suddenly finding it hard to swallow, I should find Moe soon. Just to check on him.
“Try to clean it up as much as you can. Don’t look so much at the cause and more at when it changed.” I lean back in my seat knowing it's a repeated phrase he constantly hears as his fingers fly over the keyboard, making that god-awful sound. Sam has always been amazing in the field, but I like it even better when he’s behind screens. That’s mainly because he thinks I don’t know where he was before the prison. Here he can’t get triggered.
There’s too much tension in the air and it’s pissing me off. I should still be riding the high of last night, but my shoulders are tight, and the silence is deafening.
One step forward and ten steps back, as always. I swallow the lump in my throat and turn my chair to face him.
“Did you get it out?”
“Yeah, as soon as I received it. No response yet.”
My eyes narrow in his direction. He groans.
"I had no other way of uploading the file without looking. You know that."
I wish I could turn off my feelings like him. I know I hide them as well as he does, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
“Hey, I–” my head snaps back at the voice, catching the moment Jasmine freezes in place with another cup of coffee in her hands. I have to cover my mouth with the one I stole so Sam can’t read everything on my face.
“I’m busy.” Sam grinds out without even looking back.
She continues to just stand there with her lips between her teeth. Thankfully, her uniform looks in place for once. Sam’s head snaps back towards her and then at me. Fuck this, I didn’t sign up to be in the middle of some soap opera.
“Just let me know what you can come up with or hear. We’ll hold a meeting if necessary.” I stand as I speak and toss my cup in the trash, stepping to the door and bringing the tips of my boots into contact with Jasmine.
“Oh, and Sharkie will stay, so you might want to make a few amends.”
My shoulders are already squaring as I look down at her over the bridge of my nose. It’s a battle anytime I threaten to kick Jasmine out since the day Sam brought her to us with nothing but her callsign. If she and Cordelia are going to coexist, then I need her to not push buttons to the point her nose ends up broken and I end up in an argument with Sam because his precious flower was hurt. Jasmine’s face visibly turns red.
“She’s the–”
“She understands.” My head turns over my shoulder to look at Sam, but he’s already staring at Jasmine. Like I said, I always know what’s happening in my base, well at least eighty-nine percent of the time. If only walls could talk.
Her head dips down, and I step around her. She’s one less problem now. Now my only problem is that I have a temptress inside my base, but I have to work. Until this is over, I can’t enjoy her like I want to, even then I might not get to, but that just makes the reward all that much sweeter. I’m sure she’s busy watching that awful show and eating some junk, so she’ll be okay. I need to prepare. It’s never a good idea to slow down just because you think you’ve won.
The rest of the day feels like a blur, but so natural at the same time. Everyone continues their duties as they should. Sam told me earlier he needed scouts, which was ridiculous considering he could easily get some recruits to walk the grounds to which he agreed. Moe stayed on my heels all during lunch, begging to let me allow Sharkie to train him. Something about learning different styles? I’m still debating about that, so I didn't give him a proper response even though it was good to see him and know he was just as enthusiastic as always. The worst part of my day? I haven’t seen her once, which is making me feel like I’m going insane.
I swear, sometimes I feel like I have the world on my shoulders, relying on me to fix everything that’s gone wrong or has broken. It’s not even my responsibility to fix it, I didn’t choose this life. I never claimed to be a good man, so I can’t say I regret my choices or actions, but each time I get close just for it to slip away, I feel my sanity slipping with it.
What are the chances I can convince my little shark to give me a back rub without biting me? I crack open the door with one foot on the heel of my opposite shoe, fully prepared to kick them off, but something’s off.
It’s quiet.
“Sharkie?” I call out, deciding it’s best to keep my boots on. I know I have a spacious room, but I’m still able to see most everything from the entryway. It’s picked up in an oddly unsettling way, not a dish in the sink or wrapper in sight.
“You better not jump out with a knife, little siren. You won't like the outcome.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I round the space into the bathroom. Like the living area, there’s not a single thing out of place. Everything is just oddly clean. No clothes are on the ground, instead, they are placed in the hamper, the toilet paper is replaced, and the counters look like they’ve been wiped down.
“Cordelia, this isn’t funny.”
Just as before, there’s no response. I can’t explain the feeling other than how I felt when her life was being pulled under the water. I continue to search the room as if she’ll pop out from under the bed or I’ll at least find a note. Anything , but it’s just irritatingly clean . My hand runs through my hair. It’s late, she wouldn’t be in the mess hall. She knows they don’t have what she wants. She tends to wander, but where the bloody hell else would she go?
Taking large steps, I slam the door behind me. I have no destination in sight, but I have to do something. She has no reason to come back to me, but I have every reason to chase her.
Each hall I storm, the more I feel her slipping through my fingers like sand. Did I push her too far? Surely not. I may have been rough, but I know her like I know my body. I always knew there was a possibility of losing her, but it wasn't supposed to happen yet. I’m not prepared. I don’t know what to do with these emotions, but I can feel them bubbling to the point I think I might punch someone if they come into my line of sight.
Just as I accept the fact, I’m about to have to watch hours’ worth of security footage to find her, I hear it. I’d know the sound of her laugh anywhere, not the forced sarcastic one, the one where it's contagious enough you want to laugh with her.
My steps are quiet, terrified to overpower the sound as it echoes through the cracked exit door that leads to the training ground. Pushing my palm against the bulletproof barrier I see tied up unruly hair bobbing as one body tumbles to the mat on top of another. Moe lunges at the side of the padding balling and relaxing his fist. I can tell he's itching to join in on the action.
I tap my fingers to my chest, calming the anxiety that has caused my heart to pound, sticking to the shadows as I step out into the area. I can’t tell if I was holding my breath that long or if I was just breathing so fast my lungs burned, but it doesn’t matter.
She’s still here.