22. Tide
Date: 5-15-2024
Time: 1847
In a matter of minutes, I’ve seen everything I’ve worked for and everything I’ve ever dreamed of coming to light. It’s not for my father, as selfish as that sounds. Maybe it started that way, and I still hate the color red, but the moment I met the goddess, who is currently fighting to pin me on my back and take control, it was all about her.
Finding her purpose. Catching her. Keeping her.
I thought maybe bringing her into the moment she’d realize I’m not who she wants me to be. I’m not going to change, and I’m sure as hell not going to stop my fight for both the war and my place in her head. Time and time again, she surprised me. Where she was supposed to fight and make things easier, she clung on like I was a lifeline.
I’ll always save her, even if it’s in the most fucked up ways.
I finally relent as she slides her way between my legs with a victorious look on her face. I’ll remind her later that I let her have control, but for now, I can’t focus on the thought while she kisses along the waist of my boxers, gliding them down with the tops of her fingers, occasionally growling at the way they stick to my skin.
I lift my hips to help. The rigid scars along her back shimmer under the wet beads clinging to her skin. She’s gorgeous. Judging by the way she always tries to cover them, I know she’s self-conscious, but I wouldn’t want her any other way. It shows just how strong she is, not just physically.
Her hand wraps around my shaft and she runs her tongue over my already dripping tip. I curl my hand into her hair, making a tie with my fist, pulling it hard enough she has to tilt her ear back to ease some of the pressure off her scalp.
I wasn’t joking when I said if anyone sees her like this, I’d kill them, and I rather not kill someone off my team.
“You’re going to ruin me.” I murmur. My breathing is heavy with how hard it is to keep myself in control.
“Then we’ll call it even.”
Even ? I smirk. It looks like I’m making more progress than I thought. My expression falls and my mouth forms into an O as she drags me to the back of her waiting mouth despite the grip I have on her hair.
I want to throw my head back at the sensation, yet I can’t tear away from the gorgeous sight in front of me. Her lips are swollen and the small bit of mascara she had on has smeared along her face. If I thought, she was gorgeous before then it doesn’t compare to now.
Her lashes flutter as she holds me in place long enough, I can feel her throat constrict with the need to swallow, looking at me with my ocean in her eyes, waiting for me. Such a little siren. I run the backs of my knuckles against her cheek, trailing the digits until they join my other hand in her hair.
“Relax your throat for me, love.”
She coughs around my cock, pulling back enough so I can see her nod. She may think we're even now but we’re nowhere near it. I hold her head at an angle slowly dragging back enough to see the tip appear before plunging back in.
The score won't be set until I know that her twisted head is only twisted for me .
Her nails dig into my thighs, and drool pools in her mouth down to my abdomen, making lewd sounds mingle with crashing waves. If you would've told me four years ago this woman would hold me in this position I’d call you a liar. My cock tightens, forcing me to pull back, giving her a chance to breathe. Then again I used to believe my obsession was fueled by pure hate, turns out I was probably the liar all along. A single strand of spit attaches her to my length, with lips parted and eyes glazed over. I have to move one hand from her head to the base of my dick, gripping hard enough I feel like if anyone saw us, they’d think I was trying to strangle it.
Does she think I ruined her? She has no fucking clue what being ruined truly feels like. She sticks her tongue without command, letting me slap it against the muscle.
“Good fucking girl.” I groan. I guess it encourages her since she swirls her tongue around the tip, teasing me with the touch. She gasps when I flex my cock.
I know if she keeps it up, I won’t be able to last. That’s never been a problem but with her it’s indescribable. Quickly I pull her up by her hair, twisting our bodies until she’s flat on her back and I’m nuzzled against her slick underwear, biting and kissing along her neck, making her squirm.
If I don’t bury myself in her soon, I’m going to lose my fucking mind.
“You were made for me, to take my cock, to wear my marks.”
I don’t give her time to suck in any air before I’m busy devouring her mouth. Tasting myself on her tongue has to be one of the most maddening things I’ve ever felt. She’s a drug I can’t quit, a fixation I’ll never drop.
I like to pride myself on taking my time with her, but I can’t, not right now. In a hurry, I push her underwear to the side and glide a finger through her lips, feeling how wet and ready she already is.
“So fucking perfect.” I groan into her mouth at the same time I push a finger into her and her back arches under me, trying to pull it in deeper.
“Please Caspian.” She mewls, causing any restraint I had to vanish. Hearing my name on her lips will never be enough. Not until it’s the only name she knows and thinks about. I lift my hips as I remove my finger just so I can wrap my hand around her calf and place it on my shoulder. She pushes, arching her hips, trying to get more, but I don’t budge even as she claws at my arms leaving gorgeous red streaks in her wake and writhes with her face screwed in both a look of aggravation and need. If only she knew how I feel.
Her lips part and I know her well enough by now that she’s going to make some smart-ass remark, so I bury myself to the hilt in one fluid thrust. Her head falls back and her nails create crescents in my skin with a broken cry.
“Say you’ll stay with me.” I groan as I bury my head into the crook of her neck. Shallowly rocking back just to slide in faster than before. She’s not some princess that needs it easy and sweet, she takes what I give her just fine. Her velvet heat pulsates around me. I just want to hear her say it. I need to know I’m as embedded in her skin as she is in mine. If only she could tell me the thought of leaving doesn't cross through that pretty little head.
I nip at the sensitive flesh of her neck, creating a trail to her pulse point, each thump kisses my lips like it’s determined to show me what I make her feel. It’s quiet besides those sweet whimpers I love so much. I know she’s been through some shit. Even if I don’t know what she’s endured, I know it rages a battle within her. I take a sharp inhale through my nose. I want to think logically, to understand. How can I think when I know I'll never let her go even if she refuses to stay?
With a low growl, I take a harsh nip at her collarbone. Even if she doesn’t say what I want to hear, she will say something while she’s under me.
“Oh god.” She wines and I still. Pulling back just so I can look at her. Tears brim her eyes, and she looks like she’s on the verge of killing me. I run my tongue up her cheek, tasting the salt of a lone tear that slips. My fucking tears.
“Wrong name, love.” I pull her other leg up to rest on my other shoulder and drive into her cunt hard enough I know my soldiers heard her scream. Her eyesight goes uneven as she tries to hold my gaze, but I let mine drop to the way her thighs are quaking, and I’m being swallowed whole.
“Fuck—just look at you.” I wrap my hand around the nape of her neck, forcing her to look at her pussy wrapped around my cock like it’s what it was made to do. I pull back just to snap my back forward so she can see how much her body welcomes me, hitting a spot so deep inside her feet wrap around the back of my head.
“Too deep.” She whines, her hands drop to my abdomen trying to push me back making me growl in response and my stomach tightens under her touch.
“You can take it. Now. Say. The. Right. Name.” I bite out, punctuating my words with deep thrusts. My hands dig into the sand, each brutal pound I make into her makes her velvet heat clench and pulse around me.
“C-Caspian…” she whines as more tears stream down her cheeks. Such a beautiful mess for me.
“Good girl. That’s it. Now if only you’d tell me you’d stay.”
I would love to play with her swollen little clit and push her over the edge, but even when she’s refusing to tell me what I want to hear I’m not an ass and I’m sure she already has enough sand in places she’s going to gripe about later.
Supporting my weight on one hand, I take her wrist into my other and bring her fingers to my mouth. My eyes stay on hers as I pull them into my lips, running my tongue over each digit. They fall with a pop, and a string of my saliva follows them.
“Touch yourself.” I say through heavy pants, desperately trying to hold onto my restraint until she comes around my cock. Her thighs tremble and her calves threaten to close in around my head, but I don’t ease up. I can feel her walls fluttering around me sucking me back in so greedily each time I move to pull back and her body tensing below me. She circles her clit, a deep blush crawls up her chest into her neck flushing her cheeks.
“Make a fucking mess for me.” I groan and just like her, her body listens to everything I say. Her neck arches back with her body as a silent cry leaves her mouth. I could watch her come apart under me all hours of the day. The sight alone is more than enough to have me hurling over the edge after her. My dick twitches, every vein sensitive to the fluttering around it refusing to give me a moment to pull out.
Dropping my head onto hers I let her name fall from my lips in a low warning filling her with my come and marking her in ways I'll never allow another man to do.
Her fingers thread through my hair, pulling my head back to hers in a kiss that was softer than before while I ease her shaking legs back down. I should be sated but just tasting her has me about ready to go again until the sun starts to peek back up over the beach.
She’s just as hungry as she nips at my bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth until it releases, and she’s staring up at me through those gorgeous, hooded eyes. Who needs the view of the ocean when it’s able to stare back at you?
I kiss along her jaw, giving her a moment to calm her heart and relax her body. Once I feel her go limp, I sit back on my heels. She’s covered head to toe in sand.
The sight makes me grin.
“You’re a bloody stubborn thing.” I say hoarsely as I grab her shirt and work to pull it over her head. She shifts until she’s sitting up and pulling her underwear back into place.
I only receive a light shrug, but her eyes shine with a small smile. She reaches for her pants, but I take them in my hand despite the curious tilt of her head. I’m sure she’s already uncomfortable. I’m not about to let her make it worse. Pulling on my boxers and pants I take a mental note that the next time we come out here, at least bring a damn towel. Whether she said it or not she's staying and that means there will be plenty of time that I take her walking on the beach or watching the sunrise over the ocean. My eyes soften admiring her exhausted state with slouched shoulders, curling her knees to her chest as I grab the remainder of her clothes in one hand.
“Come here.”
She stands, but not for long. Scooping her into my arms, I carry her back towards the base. I’m not dumb enough to stop for my shirt. Especially while she’s so content curled against my chest, looking like she’s in the safest place in the world.
I shiver from the cool contrast of the inside air against my heated skin. A low hum vibrates through the walls and the soldiers stationed at either end of the halls stand in salute until I narrow my gaze and they quickly turn their backs. The base feels calm. The eerie type that has someone wondering what’s about to go wrong. Pausing by Moe’s door, I push my toe against it, seeing him sprawled on top of his sheets, fast asleep. I always call him a kid even though he is almost grown and right now just proves my point. One of his legs dangles off the edge, his blanket tangled around the other like a snake around a tree, and all his pillows are across the floor.
Cordelia buries her head into my chest to stifle a laugh, causing me to roll my eyes. I’m pleasantly surprised she’s allowed me to carry her for this long, but I can tell she’s getting restless. If her head isn’t bobbing from nearly falling asleep, it’s darting around, taking in areas I’m sure she hasn’t recognized before.
A half wall of windows with boards lined with documents behind it has her grasping at my shoulders, trying to get a better view.
“Conference room. For briefings or debriefings.” I mutter quietly but she’s already pushing at my arms trying to break free when the mahogany door with fogged glass passes by. One thing my father let my mother take care of when he built the base was design. She always chose mahogany when it came to his areas. Said it was warm like him. The memory makes me grin. He was her monster that only she could tame. Absolutely horrendous to the outside world but a teddy bear in her arms.
“I want to see that room.”
“It's not important.”
A groan follows my words as her elbow catches my chin. I tried to be a gentleman, but now she’s just pushing for me to act like an ass. I want to treat her right. Show her what it's like to properly have someone but some days she makes it so damn difficult. She yelps as I fling her body over my shoulder.
“I’ll show you another day,” I pause, swiping the keycard to our room and pushing open the door. “It's just my office.” I finish slowly as I set her down and nudge her towards the bathroom with a smack on her ass. It still feels odd, even after all these years, to call it my own.
I focus on the way she leans her body into the doorframe. Stepping behind her, I’m able to make out the small scrunch of her nose and her brows drawn in thought through the mirror. Some days, I wish I knew what was going through her head. Remaining quiet, I step around her. Soft patter fills the room from the water, hitting the tiles, creating a serene environment. I supposed it relaxes her just as well, considering her shoulders aren’t bunched and she willingly steps beside me. It’s a comfortable silence as I do what I do best and peel her damp clothes from her, watching small beads of sand skate across the floor until she’s bare. Absolutely beautiful.
“You must be tired. You’re rarely so quiet.”
“I am.”
My brows pull together as I kick our clothes to the corner. I'd rather deal with her smart-arse mouth rather than curt responses. Clearing my throat, I pull her body back against mine and run my fingers through her hair, gently massaging her scalp.
“You want me to stay?”
I pause, everything feels still but my mind’s moving so fast that I can't even process a logical thought. Shaking my head, I let the water fly from my damp hair and ground myself back into the moment. I point over her shoulder for the shampoo, and she obliges.
How can she ask such a ridiculous question? I asked her to say it, didn’t I? Rinsing the wash from her hair, I brush my hands over her shoulders to try and ease the tension that had formed in them surely from my silence. The back of my knuckles run along the scars of her back, my lips follow the bubbled ones on her shoulder. Either way, she’s not leaving. It’d just be easier if she was willing.
“Of course I do.” I murmur against her skin. My hands land on her waist, turning her body towards mine.
“Why?”
“Because I refuse to let you go.”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip. Using the opportunity, I take her rag and soap and lather her body. She follows the motion as I drop to my knees, dragging the suds across her skin. My heart stutters. Looking up at her, I’m reminded of the first time she held me in such a position. If it takes me being at her feet every day to make her want to be here, then I'll gladly do it. Or I'll just get out the rope again and hide the knives. The thought makes me grin against her flesh as I press a kiss to her thigh.
I don’t expect her to reply. I’ve learned she tries to rationalize things before she commits to something. The rest of the shower was filled with comfortable silence. I don’t mind giving her the quiet she needs. She’ll talk when she’s ready.
Thankfully, it was just as easy to get her to lie down. I love it when she fights, but I also love these small moments where it feels like I’m breaking through everything that’s corrupted her. I half expected that I’d have to wrangle her into my arms like usual, but she curled into my side instead. To the point, I worried she’d suffocate herself with my body.
Despite her being the beautiful distraction she is beside me; I text Sam a time frame to delete footage from the cameras. I don’t care if he’s the only one who truly watches them. I don’t mind showing her off, but when she’s in that state, it’s only for my eyes. Shaking my head, I send another message explaining the consequences if he were to watch said footage. I know he won’t question me, and he’ll do as he’s told, but I can never be too sure. He's already seen enough of her.
“Caspian.” She whispers into my skin like a beacon calling me home. My phone vibrates with a message, but I set my phone on the nightstand and pull her into my arms. She takes a deep inhale, and I do the same.
“I like the way you smell.” She whispers, which only makes me smile. My arms tighten around her. If I could, I’d sew us together, but she already thinks I’m psychotic enough.
“I like the way you say my name.”
“You’re trying to get the last word.” Her words trail into a groggy mumble that makes my chest clench.
“Go to sleep, little siren.”
“Why do you call me that?”
I know she’s just fighting sleep, or maybe she just wants to keep fighting for the last word. Either way, I don’t mind. As long as she keeps letting me brush my fingers through her hair even when they get caught in a tangle every so often, then she can mumble all she wants. I’m quiet for a long moment until I feel her breathing even and her body relaxes.
“You have this dangerous allure that makes me want to get lost in you,” I pause and place a kiss on her head, “even when I know you’ll lead me to my demise I can’t resist being drawn in like a sailor to treacherous cliffs. I shouldn’t want you, but I do.”