Chapter 46
Visha
I know he’s here. He has to be.
Ringing the doorbell like a madman, I wait for someone’s voice to echo through the intercom, growing more restless as the minutes drag out.
“Who the hell is ringing the doorbell so late at night?” Amira demands, visibly annoyed.
“Amira, it’s me, Andrew,” I respond, sighing in relief. “I need to see Aoi. Please tell me he’s here. Is he okay?”
“Fuck off.”
“No, please I have to see him. I need to talk to him!” I place both hands on each side of the intercom, desperately staring at it and hoping she will take pity on me.
She scoffs and says, “I’ll call the cops if you don’t leave now.”
“I’ll ring the damn bell all night long if you don’t at least tell me that he’s with you. Please, tell me if he’s fine.”
The line goes silent, and I gawk at the intercom, glancing at the door and tapping my foot against the floor.
Fuck, did she just leave?
No, fuck, fuck, I have to see Aoi. I need to know that he’s okay after the way he stormed out.
I nearly stagger and face palm right into the ground when the front door opens, and a dark skinned woman wrapped in a pink knitted cardigan and braided hair appears on the doorstep.
“He’s not fine,” she grits out. “He’s anything but fine, and I’m guessing it’s your fault.”
I heave a sigh and drag my hands through my hair, pulling on the strands. “I don’t know what happened.”
“Did you break up with him?”
I shake my head fervently. “Of course not! I could never. I thought about what you said, but when we were talking while cuddling he suddenly freaked out. He started crying and getting away from me as if he was in pain. I don’t- I don’t know what happened.”
She stares at me in disbelief and utter disgust while she digs her index in my chest. “I fucking warned you, the longer you stayed with him, the bigger the risk of this shit happening.”
“What do you mean? You know what he as? Can I-”
“Don’t ever show up in front of him again,” she snaps. “If I see you lurking around him, I’ll crush you. Understood? This is all your fault. Simmer in the acid you spilled.”
I shake my head and reach for her with trembling hands. “No, please. I have to see him. He needs to know that I love him. I can’t just let him go. Amira, please, you have to understand. I- I need him. He needs to know!”
She tugs on her braided hair and scowls. “Go away.”
“Amira, please.”
“He’s finally resting after he cried himself to sleep. The last thing he needs is to see your face. Now go away, or I’m calling the cops.”
“Amira, please! You know I never meant to hurt him!” I bite back the tears threatening to spill. “I spent the last eight years looking for him, and now that he’s finally in my arms, I have to give him up? No, I don’t want to! Don’t make me do this, please.”
She steps back toward the door and throws me a look of disdain. “I didn’t make you do anything. This is all your doing. Don’t even think about blaming me for your little scheme. You’re the one who manipulated him, and now I’m guessing he figured it out. Leave, before I call the cops.”
“Amira, wait-”
The door slams in my face, and I gawk at it like my soul has left my body and entered hell.
Is this really it? Did I just lose him again?
Just like that?
Numbness and frost take over my limbs as I sink to my knees, holding my head in my hands and gasping for air. My chest constricts and clogs up, screaming for a way out.
My throat closes up, and I gasp, shutting my eyes to try to calm down but I can’t.
I can’t.
Fuck, please breathe.
I clutch my chest, fingers numb and tingly as my vision blurs.
I shiver, sweat building up on my forehead and ears beginning to ring.
Coughing and choking, I drag myself against the door and tilt my head back.
I force my mind to focus on a calm image and the only one I can think of is Aoi kissing me while he cradles my cheeks.
Slowly, excruciatingly slowly my breathing calms and the boulder on my chest dissipates. Regret replaces the dread. I focus on the sensation of my muscles easing and my cheeks flooding with tears.
How do I keep going without him? If he was going to be taken from me, then why was I allowed to fall deeper for him? If I was going to suffer like this, then why let me meet him again?
I should’ve just frozen to death on the night he found me, before I got a taste of his warmth.
My chin trembles as I part my lips to suck in some fresh air.
What now? If he hates me and doesn’t want to ever see me again, what do I do then?
I push my legs to support my weight and stagger into my car, feeling empty and numb. I grab my wallet and slide out the pictures I’ve been keeping close to my heart.
One of my family when I was little.
The other of Aoi and I in the past before my world collapsed.