Chapter 56
Aoi
My eyes flutter open and faded paint looks back at me.
My body feels too heavy to move but I’m wrapped in warmth and soft cotton. The frost in my bones has evaporated and a familiar yet haunting scent tickles my nose.
“Why did you save me?” I ask, staring at the ceiling. “I didn’t want that. You should have let me drown.”
“I couldn’t let you end your life so stupidly,” Jason responds casually, threading his fingers through my hair.
I glance at him and am met with bloodshot hazel irises. “Did you cry?”
“Do I look like I cried?” He smiles crookedly at me and grabs my hand. “Would you comfort me if I had?”
“You don’t need my comfort.” I sit up and wince at the sudden ache in my temple. “How long was I out?”
“Not long. A couple of hours.”
“Where are we?”
He gets off the bed and dusts off his clothes. “Are you hungry?”
I blink at him, waiting for an answer to my question but instead, he walks over to his vest discarded on the back of a chair in a corner of the room. Pulling out his phone, he types something in it before turning to me.
“I can order some food if you want.”
I frown and scramble out from beneath the sheets. “You’re avoiding my question. Why? Where are we?”
Jason sighs and stuffs his phone back into the pocket of his vest before meeting me halfway across the room and cupping my face. “Why are you getting so agitated, my dear? You have nothing to worry about. Rest more. After what you went through, you need to regain your strength.”
The tension in my shoulders doesn’t ease, but I’m fully aware of the exhaustion weighing down on me. I can’t shake the feeling that if I lay down in that bed something bad will happen.
“I’m fine.”
“That word holds no meaning coming from you.”
“Why are you pretending to be so caring and understanding all of a sudden?” I eye him attentively and notice the twitch in his jaw. “There’s no way you’re okay with what I did, but here you are, acting like it’s nothing.”
“What do you want me to say, Aoi?”
“I don’t know. The truth?”
“The truth is that I’m furious at your selfishness and stupidity but I’m trying to hold back because you’re not in your right mind and I can’t blame you for that.”
I scoff and run my hand through my hair. “Why not? I fucked up. There’s no one else to blame, is there?”
“There is.”
“Who?” I ask, confused. “Do you maybe blame yourself? Impossible. The almighty Jason Holden would never blame himself for someone else’s actions.”
“I don’t blame myself,” he utters, eyes glazing excruciatingly slowly over my features. “You made a mistake. That is all.”
“You’re acting weird.”
“How so?”
Swatting his hands off my face, I step away and exhale loudly. “You’re being so…agreeable. That’s not you. You’re usually so difficult to reason with. I mean after what I did, I’m surprised you’re not yelling at me.”
“Is that what you want me to do?” he asks, closing the gap between us and wrapping his arms around my waist. “Yell at you? Tell you how stupid and reckless you are? That I want to tie you up, so you’ll finally stop putting yourself in harm’s way?”
I glance over my shoulder at him. “No. That’s not what I want. Just answer my questions and stop being weird.”
“What do you want to know?” he asks, pressing a tender kiss against my nape.
“Where are we?”
He stops his kisses and squeezes me tighter until I gasp out loud. “Why are you making this so difficult?”
“How am I making anything difficult? I’m asking you where the hell we are, and you refuse to answer me. You’re the one who’s difficult. Seriously, what’s wrong with you?”
“This is a property I own. I brought you here after I dragged you out of the lake.”
Silence settles as we both take in that shit answer. He could’ve said that from the beginning. Didn’t need to make a fuss.
“So, you changed my clothes?” I ask, peeking down at the dry and clean garments.
He nods and resumes kissing my nape, tracing patterns over my shoulder and inhaling my scent. I grab his hands and detach him from me, putting space between my itchy skin and the intense discomfort his touch brings me.
“What’s the matter? Not in the mood?” he questions, an edge to his voice that I don’t fail to notice.
I look down at my arm and feel nausea swarm over me. Three cuts now. “I have to go back. I need to tell the girls that I’m fine. I need to apologize. They must be worried sick by now.”
“I already called them.”
I spin around and stare at him, distraught and not believing a word coming out of his mouth. For years I didn’t bother caring about his lies, but now I can’t stand them anymore.
“You called them?” I scoff. “You?”
“What’s the matter now?” he asks, annoyed, and crosses his arms over his chest. “Nothing ever seems to satisfy you.”
“You’re lying to me. You have been since the second I woke up. Now stop the bullshit and tell me exactly where we are and why the hell you refuse to tell me anything.”
We remain silent for a heartbeat, entranced in a staring contest that will either end up in me losing my temper or him nagging me.
I groan in utter exasperation and shove him. “Why do you have to be like this? Why can’t you ever do things my way? Just tell me what I want to know for fuck’s sake, you jerk!”
He rolls his eyes and raises his voice. “Did it not occur to you that I’m doing this for your sake? Only a fool would tell you anything that would lead to you endangering yourself. Now be quiet and stay put while I take care of your mess.”
“My mess? You’re still the same piece of shit.
” I stomp my foot against the concrete floor and throw my arms in the air.
“When will you stop treating me like I’m incapable of making decisions?
I’m not stupid, Jason. I’m suicidal and depressed.
You can be as disappointed in me as you want but don’t you fucking dare try to control me again. ”
“I’m not trying to control you, Aoi. I only want to protect you,” he says, reaching for me but I slap his hand away.
“Lie after lie. You can’t stop yourself, can you? It’s exhausting to hear you lie constantly just to manipulate me. I’m not your pretty little doll. I’m a grown man who knew exactly what he was doing when he got into that fucking lake.”
Yes, I admit it was a mistake, but there’s no way in hell I’m telling him that. I’m gonna be as petty as I fucking want to since he’s never truthful with me either.
“Enough with the tantrums,” he snaps and I almost flinch. “You’re unfit to make decisions in your current state, so be quiet and let me handle this.”
“You keep saying that but what the hell are you talking about? What is there to handle? Why are we in this weird place and why do you keep acting like that?” I question.
“I want to go home. I want to see the girls and apologize to them. Bring me to them now. I want to leave. Why aren’t you answering me?
” I shove him again until his back hits the wall. “Answer me!”
My head spins to the side as his palm collides with my cheek and I stumble back. The stinging of my assaulted skin doesn’t even come close to the shock of having been slapped by him.
I blink, astonished, and cover my aching cheek with my hand. He reaches for me, lips parting to utter an apology I doubt he even means.
I step back. Away from him.
“Aoi,” he murmurs and grabs my shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I lost my composure. It won’t happen again.”
When a man you know hits you, you think it may have been merely on impulse, that it stems from anger he couldn’t control. You hope it wasn’t actually directed at you and that he was only externalizing his feelings.
But you’re not that dumb.
I certainly am not.
A man hits you once, and that’s when you pack your shit and get the fuck out as soon as you can because it means you’ve ignored every red flag that led to this moment.
One slap.
The first and the last.
“I’m done. I’m not putting up with this anymore.” I turn toward the door but before I can even take one step, I’m slammed against the wall so hard the air is punched out of my lungs.
“You’re not going anywhere.”