Chapter 3
Kat
“ I want to thank you for meeting me,” Jacob says in both a charming and professional tone—I’m not sure how that’s possible—as my keys clink on the coffee shop table and I take a seat across from him.
It’s been three days since Evan came back to the townhouse. And three days since he accused me of cheating on him and punching Jacob. That night I sent Jacob a message apologizing, but then I turned my phone off. Three days of me hiding away in our bedroom and pretending this isn’t my life.
At some point, I had to come out. What a fresh hell I walked into.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him again with all sincerity and my eyes closed tightly as I settle down into the seat.
It’s a wicker chair with a dark red cushion and the smell of coffee from the café adds to the comfort.
This coffee shop has a homey feel to it.
Very different from my favorite spot in town, Brew Madison, but I can see why Jacob likes it.
My cheeks are practically frozen from the piercing wind whipping through the West Village, but even still, they burn. “I honestly cannot say?—”
“Don’t.” Jacob stops me from saying more, holding up his hand and waving off my embarrassment.
I can’t believe how out of hand things have gotten. As a professional, I’m mortified.
“Please, Jacob.” I shake my head slightly then look up at him, staring into his eyes as I refuse to let him downplay everything, especially with a faint bruise hiding behind the five o’clock shadow along his strong jaw.
“What happened the other day was ridiculous. Evan had no right to put his hands on you, and I want to thank you for not pressing charges.”
“I don’t blame him, Kat,” Jacob says and waves off my gratitude with an ease that catches me off guard. My heartbeat quickens and it’s the only thing I can hear for a brief moment while I take in his words.
“It’s fine, really. I mean it, I don’t blame him.”
I slowly take off my coat as I tell him, “I do. I know it looked a little off.” A feeling of confusion clouds my memory of what I’d planned to say.
I was going to thank him for not pressing charges.
Beg him not to hold it against the publishing agency.
And concede that I would not be his point of contact if he did choose go with us. Obviously, I can’t represent him after what happened. I’m prepared for that.
“Evan is in the wrong in every way, and I feel awful.”
“It wasn’t you who did it.” The comfort in his voice makes me slightly uneasy. The next words out of his mouth add to that nervousness. “I’m kinda glad he did.”
“Why?” I ask quietly, the nervousness changing to something else. I should stop this. I know that much. It’s a slippery slope I’m balancing on.
“You two split, right?”
“Yeah,” I answer him, and it makes my throat go dry. My chest feels hollow, with nothing there but the raw emotion I’m trying to ignore. What am I doing? I’m feeling something other than the agony that’s plagued me for weeks.
“He’s not acting like it, judging by the way he talks to you. He’s aggressive. He’s doing what my ex did to me. And I don’t like it.”
“I don’t know what Evan’s thinking right now, but this isn’t him. He isn’t like this.”
“Either way, I don’t blame him.”
I don’t know what to say back. There’s a tension between us that’s different from what I anticipated.
“I don’t like the way I saw him treat you,” Jacob states with a softened voice and then raises up his hands as if expecting me to protest. “I know I only saw a small piece.” He licks his lower lip and adds, “I just didn’t like it. So, if he’s going to take it out on me instead, I’ll take it.”
“It’s not like that,” I say, attempting to stop what he’s insinuating. “Evan doesn’t take anything out on me.”
“It’s just something about what I see between you guys. It gets to me.”
“Between us?”
“How you obviously care for him, even though it’s killing you,” he answers with a sadness in his eyes that could rival mine.
“Either way,” he continues, “I’m sorry and you don’t have a reason to be, so … let’s just agree to let it stay in the past?”
“I didn’t anticipate you being the one apologizing today.”
Jacob shrugs and it’s then I get an even better look at the faint bruise on his jaw. With the rough stubble, it almost blends in, but when I catch sight of it again, I cringe.
Jacob smiles at me and a masculine chuckle makes his T-shirt tighten on his broad shoulders.
“Seriously, Kat,” he tells me and moves his hand to the table, turning it so it’s palm up. “Don’t worry about it. I can see where he’s coming from.”
Jacob’s gaze flickers to his white mug. I glance down at it; it’s chai, and a warmth flows through me at the thought of getting myself one.
“So, we’re all good?” I ask him.
He shrugs again and takes a sip from his drink. “If you’re okay?” he finally answers, and okay is not exactly the word I’d use to describe myself right now.
“For you, miss,” a woman to my right announces, startling me and catching me by surprise. The barista I barely noticed when I first walked in sets down a mug identical to Jacob’s in front of me. The warming aroma of cinnamon mixed with nutmeg hits me immediately and I welcome the scent.
“Thank you,” I tell her although my eyes are on Jacob.
“I thought you’d like it,” he says, answering the unspoken question with a grin. “I know the shop is new, but I’ve had their chai almost every day and you have to try it,” he tells me like we’re good friends. Like we know each other well. After a moment he adds, “Great place to write.”
“I can see that.” I swallow, feeling a stir of something else in my chest. It pulls at my heart. Guilt. I feel like I’m cheating.
Evan and I are separated; I remind myself again. With all the crap Evan’s done and put me through, it’s over. It has to be.
So this, this little distraction … I refuse to stop it when it makes me feel something other than the turmoil that has been plaguing me.
My hands wrap around the mug and they warm instantly as I take a good long look around the place.
The brick walls and picture frames make it cozy and inviting.
With the dark wooden tables and wicker furniture, I could see how a writer could make themselves comfy in a corner chair.
Using both hands to lift the mug, I take a small sip and then another, much longer one, feeling the warmth flow through my cold chest. And then a third.
Even though I feel less consumed with regret about the fight between Jacob and Evan, a different feeling is washing over me.
“So, what do you think?”
I have to blink away my thoughts and try to figure out what he’s referring to before a bright blush rushes to my cheeks.
“The chai,” he adds comically and nods at my hands.
“It’s good,” I say with a half-hearted smile and then see the bruise again. “I just …” Why can’t I stop apologizing and let it go?
A half-hearted smile graces his lips and it’s quiet for a short moment. “Kat, I don’t really like your ex.”
Ex.
My heart hammers and my blood feels as if it’s draining from my body, leaving me cold. “I can see why,” I respond easily enough, although I can’t look him in the eyes.
“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you.” His tone changes to sympathetic and I hate this moment. I hate feeling weak and not knowing what to do or say.
“Please don’t worry about me, Jacob.” My voice is as strong as I can make it.
“First of all,” he says with a gorgeous smile, “it’s Jake.” I can’t help the small laugh that slips out at how serious he is. “And second, I’m not worrying, just being there for someone. That’s all.”
All my misgivings about him leave me as I look into his kind dark green, hazel eyes. He’s the rugged kind of handsome I would have been drawn to back when I was single. I’m honest enough to admit I’m drawn to him now.
He’s a good guy, and I can feel that in my bones.
“That’s very nice of you, but I think …” I start to say and pause as I try to figure out how to word what I’m thinking without sounding pathetic.
I’m still in love with my ex, pregnant with his child, confused and feeling alone.
Even if he’s in jail and we’re separated, I can’t stop worrying about him.
Instead, all I can manage is a mix between a groan and a sigh.
I conclude with a simply stated, “I’m just a mess over it all. ”
“Hey, let’s just end it there?” he suggests. “I don’t have many friends here and I put my nose where it didn’t belong. I’m the one who’s sorry.”
“You’re not in the wrong here.”
“I’m not in the right either, am I?”
“What do you mean?” I ask him like I’m oblivious. I know exactly what he means.
“I—” he starts to say but then stops himself and lets out a short laugh before rubbing his eyes. “Sorry, I’ve been up all night working on this manuscript.”
I see the opening to steer the conversation back to work and take it. To keep this relationship just business. “I could bury myself in manuscripts right now.”
Jacob lets out a charming laugh and I find myself slipping into the one role I know I’m good at. “Have you thought about who you’d like to be your agent and represent you?” I almost roll my eyes at the question.
“You’re shameless,” he says with a wicked grin.
“I know,” I answer him and smile into my cup. The smile is oddly genuine given my state just a moment ago, but Jacob has a way of making me feel calm and relaxed.
“I’m not ready to talk to any publishers. I still don’t know what I want to do with this one yet.”
“Want to tell me about it?”
“Well, it’s about me. Sort of.” He leans back and spreads his legs wider, my eyes drawn to his broad chest as he glances out the picture window at the front of the shop. “My ex, really.” He runs his hand through his hair.
I nod my head and reply, “So, it’s an emotional book for you. Maybe one to feed your soul, more than your family.”
“I have no family to feed, so that’d be an easy one,” he jokes. “But yeah. It’s more just for me, I think.”
“What’s the plot about, if you don’t mind me asking?
” I pry gently as I pick up a sugar packet from the table.
I have no intention of adding it to my drink, but I think best when I have something to fidget with.
Again, I cling to the chance to talk about work.
I’m more than grateful for this distraction.
I’d rather talk books all day long than anything else.
“We were high school sweethearts who beat the odds, but we just didn’t get that happily ever after, you know?”
I feel a sharp pain in my heart, one that knocks the wind out of me. Another romance story gone south. “Why didn’t it work out?”
“She’d been cheating on me for a while. I found out when she got pregnant and the dates didn’t add up.”
“That’ll do it,” I say as my mind wanders back to Evan. To his infidelity before we were married but still together. And to my little secret.
“Turns out it was my best friend.”
“Oh no.” A pout pulls down my smile and I feel gutted for him. “Double betrayal.”
“That’d make a good title,” he replies and then chews on his lower lip.
A feeling of shame settles on my shoulders. Evan and I are over, and I shouldn’t feel like this is wrong. But for the first time in years, I feel something for someone else.
There’s no way I can justify this feeling right now.
Not when I haven’t had time to get over Evan.
Not when the thought of getting over him cripples me.
What’s Sue always telling Maddie, though?
The best way to get over one man is to get under another.
Sitting here right now, I understand the sentiment.
“You think I could sell it?” Jacob asks and holds my gaze as he lifts his cup.
“I’d have to read it first,” I answer honestly, even though I know a happily ever after sells better.
That doesn’t mean there can’t be another romance thread added in somewhere.
It’s not like his story is over. His eyes catch mine and it’s as if he knows exactly what I was just thinking … about another romance thread.
“I’m still in the process of writing it.
I think the story is going well, though,” he says and every inch of my skin catches on fire.
It’s the way he looks at me. How his stare holds me captive and the tone of his lowered voice makes my blood race.
The air crackles between us and with that, I need to get out of here.
Quickly, before this conversation turns into something else.
“Send me the first few chapters?” I ask him and then reach for my purse. “Sorry, but I have to get going. I didn’t think our meeting would last this long.”
He half smiles at me as he says, “Okay then.” He says it like he knows I’m lying, but more than that, like it amuses him.
I take out my wallet, but Jacob stops me. “Don’t even think about paying.”
“Are you sure?”
“You can get the next one if you really want to, but this one is on me.”
I give him a tight smile, although I’m grateful. Truly I am. Even if his intentions are less than pure.
I can only nod then make my way out. It’s all too much. Separation, pregnancy. Now Evan’s in jail. I can’t take how quickly my life is unraveling.
“Hey, Kat,” Jake says from behind me as I push the door open and the bells ring. I turn to look back at him.
“It’s going to be okay,” he reassures me and I say thanks, although it’s so softly spoken I don’t think he could have possibly heard it.
I have to leave. That’s the only thing on my mind because I’m so broken that the words it’s going to be okay are my undoing.