6. Maddie
MADDIE
M y friend Suzette breezes into the café with a wide, bright smile on her face. It’s the kind that says she has good news, and God, I hope she does.
Even if it means I won’t have to go to Graham and ask for help anymore.
Thoughts of him make my thighs tighten and a shiver of want runs down my shoulders.
He has a little spell on me. I’m certain it’s because of my broken heart and hopeless ways with men.
I need to shake it off. I need to shake him off.
I ignore the sharp feeling of regret at that thought. After Kevin, I’ve learned my lesson. But I can’t help it if I loved having Graham in my kitchen. It felt forbidden but familiar at the same time, like something we both needed. Almost like the broken window didn’t matter at all.
I loved every second of it, but it can only be a moment of my life. And now it’s time for me to move on.
Pushing those thoughts from my head, I stand up and wave at Suzette, returning her smile with the biggest one I can. “Hi! How are you?”
With wide steps that cause her red-soled heels to click on the floor, she comes over and gives me a quick hug, smelling like the fresh air outside and her hairspray.
“How are you ? You look like you’re doing so much better!
” Her jet-black hair with a blunt bob and bangs pairs perfectly with her sharply cut dress that hugs her curves.
She looks expensive, mostly because everything she touches is expensive.
Her hug is nothing but warmth and compassion.
Just like always. I might have bad luck with men, but with my friend group, it’s always been wonderful.
All of them are married and they don’t have quite as much time as they used to, but still, I’m grateful I have good friends in my life.
We take our seats at the table and the barista brings us our coffees as we make small talk.
It’s easy and Suzette updates me on her new place and what Julia and Kat have been up to.
Suzette sips her coffee with an appreciative grin.
The café is bustling at this hour of the morning, and the sound of other people chatting does something great for my nerves.
At the counter, a guy is flirting with the barista, and she’s flirting back.
Maybe I should’ve spent more time meeting men in cafés instead of… well in dire circumstances.
But then I wouldn’t be where I am now. Granted, being jobless and late on rent isn’t great. I can’t argue with the other parts of my life having abundance, though, and I’m grateful for that.
“Have you find your dream job yet?” Suzette asks when a moment of quiet passes.
“Not exactly, but soon.” I hold up crossed fingers. “I’ve been applying for jobs like my life depends on it.”
I’m not kidding. I must’ve applied for forty jobs since Graham left my kitchen last week.
I’ve written and rewritten my resume twice as many times, trying to frame my charity board experience in the best light possible.
It’s really too bad I can’t figure out a way to fit in problem-solving by getting the hot rich man who owns my building to float me the rent, because that feels like a real achievement as well.
“Like your life depends on it,” Suzette shakes her head as she repeats what I’ve said, raising her eyebrows. “Doesn’t money always feel like that? I really think you should have called me sooner.”
I make a face at her. “I didn’t want to.” In truth, my friends are much better off in life than I am. But I’d never want to burden them. Even venting to Suzette felt wrong. I didn’t want her to take it the wrong way. A bottle of pinot will really open me up though.
“Why not?”
“Because I was such a mess before Kevin, and you had to...you know. You were there for all of that.”
“I was glad to be there for all of that,” she says firmly. “That’s what being friends is for. Being there for one another even when things get shitty.”
I can feel it, all over again, how heartbroken, confused, and angry I was. That was a breakup that seemed to last forever. I would wake up in the morning and swear I was over it, and by evening I’d be calling Suzette again to vent just so I could hold back tears.
I hadn’t wanted to tell her what happened with Kevin, too, because in some ways it felt like my failure.
I don’t think that anymore.
It doesn’t make it easier to let other people see me when I’m down...again.
So I’m not going to be down. Not about this, even if what was supposed to be a simple transaction is turning out to be more complicated than I thought, at least in the feelings department.
I remind myself again that I can’t make assumptions about what Graham feels—I won’t make assumptions.
That’ll get you into trouble faster than your fiancé can say I’m leaving.
“ You’re right.” I take a drink of my hot coffee, savoring the warmth and the flavor. That’s a good reminder that no matter how hard things get, there are still parts of life that are wonderful. Like coffee with hazelnut flavoring. “But we’re here now.”
“Next time, just call me,” she insists in a serious voice, but cracks a smile. “Because I have good news.”
“What kind of news?”
“Good news for you, silly.” She twists in her seat and looks through her purse, then pulls out a business card. Suzette slides it across the table like it’s worth a million bucks.
I take the card and turn it over. It’s the classy kind of business card—thick paper, smooth ink. This isn’t the cheap kind you can get at any office supply store.
The name on the front reads Michael Davies, CEO.
“What is this? I mean, who is this?”
Suzette smiles, pleased with herself. “I asked around, and it turns out a friend of a friend has a close friend whose company consults with nonprofits.”
I tip the card one way, then another, watching the light move on the embossed letters. “Consultation?”
“It’s right up your alley, Maddie.”
The name seems to ring a bell and then I read the website on the back and the tagline.
“Wait, I applied for this place.” I nearly gasp as I the realization dawns of me.
The company name looks familiar when it didn’t only moments before.
“Only I applied to work in filing, not as anyone’s assistant or consultant. ”
“Well, the CEO needs an assistant with a consultation background, and you have tons of experience.”
“I don’t, though. I’ve never worked as a consultant.”
“On the other side, I meant. You were on all those boards. And it’s not like that’s all you’ve ever done. You had jobs on boards before and always made it work. You know the ins and outs, and you have recent insight into costs and strategy. Don’t sell yourself short.”
I stare at her across the table. “You spun my board experience into a lead?” My heart pounds; I was on boards but it’s not like I was making the executive decisions. I have insight yes, but I wasn’t in charge of any major decisions.
“You can lean in this direction. Don’t undersell yourself.”
“I just don’t want to oversell myself,” I tell her.
A knot in my chest releases. I hadn’t known how much stress I was actually under until Suzette handed me this card.
“That’s impossible to do, Maddie. You have so much worth to provide. And they need it. Truly, this will be a match made in heaven.”
I let her words sink in and think back to all the strategy meetings. I did have a lot of success in that department, and more than that, I loved doing it. “It’s good to hear you say that, because I’ve felt like a total fraud lately.”
“Don’t.” She waves a hand in the air. “The last thing you are is a fraud. And if Michael thought so, he wouldn’t have given me a card. All you need to do is call and set up the interview.”
“You have no idea how good that sounds.”
“It’s not going to be good, it’s going to be great .” Suzette beams at me. “And, honestly, I don’t think you’d be an assistant very long. Once he sees how good you are at fundraising, he’ll have no choice but to put you in charge of a team.”
“A team ?”
“They have a whole department just for gifts and philanthropy. You’ll get your foot in the door, and it’ll be like that.” She snaps her fingers.
“Oh, wow.” I take a few deep breaths, feeling lighter and hopeful once again. “That’s…thank you. I was starting to lose hope a bit on the job front. Having a rich fiancé isn’t impressive on a résumé.”
“Well...” Suzette gives me a meaningful look. “You don’t have a rich fiancé now.” She glances around the café as if we might be overheard. “You know what? Michael’s building isn’t far from here. Why don’t we walk over and see it?”
We take our coffees and go. I’m equally nervous and excited. Suzette’s confident enough for the both of us about this new job. I fall for her enthusiasm hook, line, and sinker. It only takes a block or two for excitement to win.
“So.” Suzette tosses her empty cup into a garbage bin. “What had you so excited before I gave you the best job lead ever?”
“Oh, it’s probably not...it’s nothing, really.”
“Did you meet someone?” she guesses. Suzette is sharp as a whip.
My face gets hot. The truth is that part of me wants to tell everybody I meet about Graham, but the other part wants to keep him a secret. That way, what we have together only belongs to me. Well that and the fact that I exchanged sex for rent also stays a secret.
“Maddie!” Suzette nudges my elbow with hers, and for a second I fear she can read my mind. “I can see you blushing. Did you meet a guy? No, no…tell me where you met a guy. I can tell you have a crush.”
I swallow thickly, holding onto my paper coffee cup with both hands. “You can’t say anything.”
Her eyebrows go up. “A secret boyfriend?” I can tell she wants to laugh, and I let out a long breath.
“He’s not my boyfriend .” I glance around us, but there’s nobody even close to recognizable on the street. The city block looks vibrant in the sun. “He’s just...someone I met.”
“Blind date?”