Chapter 29
Sin was done. He felt as if someone had ripped his heart out. After a month and a half without the man he loved, he felt barren. His very soul was reaching for what he had foolishly let go.
No longer would he simply reach, he would grasp with both hands. Sin just hoped it wasn’t too late.
He should have gone to Cecil sooner. But he had been so lost, buried under his own fears and self-loathing that he had let time slip away.
But no more. Sin would bring Cecil back. No, he would stay with him. He would never again put his group before the man who held his heart. Sin had found his home, and he would protect it, even if it meant giving up everything.
Taking in Cecil's appearance, Roth’s stomach dropped. The man was a shadow of his former self. The lad had lost so much weight—not surprising, as Cecil barely ate. And Roth doubted he was sleeping much because the bags under Cecil’s eyes grew each day.
Things were not going as they should. For one, Cecil shouldn’t be here. The lad should be with Sin. Roth wasn’t sure what had happened at the other branch, but he was tempted to pound some answers out of someone—even if he had to get on a plane to do it.
He felt helpless watching the laddie fade away. Cecil barely spoke, if he came out of his room at all. Which wasn’t often, unless for school. Even when he did, it wasn’t as if he did anything. Usually, Cecil just sat there blankly staring at the wall.
Everyone had noticed, of course. Any attempt to snap Cecil out of the depression the lad had fallen in had failed.
Even Benji had failed, though he kept trying. Currently, the two were sitting on the couch next to each other, but Cecil wasn’t even acknowledging Benji.
Something had to be done…if things kept going like this, it would only end badly.
Benji was talking, but he couldn’t hear him. Though, Cecil was sure whatever the man was saying wasn’t important.
He probably should at least pretend to be listening. But he just couldn’t find the energy to do so. Cecil was tired.
What was the point? What was he even doing here? Cecil wasn’t sure he could keep doing this. Every time he spoke, with every smile, he lied. Smile, Cecil, smile. Everyone is watching.
But what was he supposed to do? What was he supposed to say when they asked if he was okay?
Should he tell them he wished he had never come here?
That he wished Sin had never found him? That for a week Cecil had foolishly held out hope that Sin would come back for him, only to have it dashed by reality?
That for the first time in his life, Cecil had thought someone had loved him, only to find out it was all lies?
They wouldn’t want those truths. Especially not to a question that was only asked out of pity. Pity…that is what started this whole thing. They had felt bad for a pathetic, homeless child, not realizing how useless Cecil really was.
Why had he thought life would get better? How could he have thought, for even a moment, that he had some worth?
All those silly, childish plans he had the day he left his father’s home, his attempt to finally be free…hah, what a laugh! Cecil was no freer than he had been back then. The world was crushing him, like it always had.
So again, why did he stay? He should leave… And go where? Cecil thought with frustration.
His hands clenched in his lap. Nothing, he had absolutely nothing.
No…no! He would have his freedom. He was going to escape this internal hell that had always been his prison.
Standing, he started to go to his room, but Benji grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?”
“I forgot to grab something for school,” Cecil lied smoothly.
“Ah, okay. Well, it’s about time to leave, so you better hurry. Don’t want to be late.”
He nodded and went to his room. The rolled-up worn leather was sitting on his dresser, waiting for him. Cecil grabbed it and nothing else, hiding it away in his backpack.
Benji was waiting for him at the door. He faked a smile that he knew never reached his eyes. The ride to school was uneventful, and as always, Benji was chattering away.
“Have a good day,” Benji said when they arrived.
Getting out, Cecil turned to look at the man, and this time, he smiled for real. “Goodbye, Benji, and thank you for always being kind.”
Benji wrinkled his brow. Apparently, his smile was off, but the man said nothing and left.
He watched the car disappear before walking away from the school.
Benji fidgeted. He felt an urgent need to do something, but what?
There was a sense of foreboding. Cecil’s smile flashed in his mind. It had felt wrong. His smile, the way he’d said ‘goodbye’…all of it.
The phone rang and he grabbed it. “Hello, you have reached the Draven Zaytari group, how may I help you?”
“This is Sharron, secretary from Bloodhart Secondary High. I’m calling to inquire about Cecil Baxter. Is he sick?”
Benji’s hand clenched around the phone. “H-he never showed up?”
“I’m afraid not. Please note that students are only permitted seven unexcused absences.”
“Okay…I-I have to go. Thanks for calling.” Benji hung up without letting her reply.
His heart began to beat out of control. Where could Cecil be?!
Maybe he had come home? That’s it, Cecil probably had felt sick, and was in his room. But how had he made it past him without being noticed?
Jumping up, Benji sprinted to Cecil’s room and threw the door open. His shoulders slumped when he saw it was empty.
Was Cecil in the bathroom? “Cecil?” he called out, walking in.
There was no answer—dammit. Turning to leave, he tripped over his own feet, knocking into the dresser. His clumsiness sent a wooden box tumbling to the ground. The lid flew open and small flat squares spilled out everywhere.
“Shit.” Benji crouched to pick them up, but froze when he realized what they were. Staring in horror, his gaze went from one square to the next.
There were hundreds of them, but he knew in his heart which were new. The old ones had browned as they aged, but where the old had splotches of white, the new were soaked through. There were more than two dozen blood-red squares—not a speck of white in sight.
“By the Gods, Cecil…what have you done?” Benji cried.