Chapter 14
" T hese wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase. When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears..."
As I neared the laundry room, I could faintly hear Noonie softly singing. I noticed she did that often, or she straight up had full conversations with herself but wanted to call me the crazy person. After exploring her body, my desire to explore her as a woman increased. I was curious about things, like that bracelet I peeped on her wrist when I turned the corner.
She was too busy loading clothes into the washing machine to notice me watching her. Dressed in a sparkly pink two-piece set, I couldn't help but admire how good she looked. I hadn't returned her clothes to her yet, so she was stuck only wearing the sexy clothing I'd bought her.
I was noticing a change in her confidence, whether she was aware of it or not. Now, her walk was more seductive. She was no longer afraid to take up space. And with her perfect body, everything she did looked like she was dancing.
When she first arrived, Noonie was very shy and disconnected from her body. Now, she walked around with her head held high and her hips swaying from left to right like a goddess. I was mesmerized by the way she moved, the way she talked back... the way she gripped my dick when I was stroking her tight pussy like my life depended on it.
The shift in my feelings toward her was unexpected. I was holding her against her will, yet she wasn't crumbling. Somehow, she still found the strength to fight against me, and I couldn't understand for the life of me why. There were parts of her that were soft. I couldn't deny that. Yet there was also this impenetrable strength and willpower that burned deep inside of her. There was more to her story, and I hesitated to find out more.
Would she allow me to peek into her mind? Into her past? Did I truly even want to explore the depths of her soul? I leaned against the wall, contemplating what to do as she lifted on her tippy toes, trying to grab the laundry detergent from the shelf above the washer and dryer. It was pushed back so far that she was struggling.
Walking up behind her, I melted into her body. She gasped softly, becoming tense. I reached for the jar of liquid then handed it to her. "Thank you," she whispered softly.
I stepped back to give her space to work. Walking back to my original post, I folded my arms over my chest then leaned against the wall. "Can I ask you a question?"
She finally turned to look at me. "Sure." I froze, seeing this deep sadness swirling in her puffy red eyes. It sent a pang of despair through me, but I swallowed it down, pretending it wasn't my business.
Scratching my eyebrow, I looked away. "Why do you always wear that bracelet?"
From the corner of my eye, I saw her turn back to the washing machine to set the timer and begin the load. I started to think she wasn't going to answer as she went to sweep up lint that'd fallen out of the dryer between the cycles. But then, softly and very emotionally, she shared. "My sister made it for me. It's the only thing I have left to remember her by."
Her words sent chills down my spine. I gave up my facade of nonchalance and turned to her. "Remember her by? Y'all fell out or something?"
"Or something." Her voice was so tiny I could hardly hear her over the sound of the washing machine. I patiently waited for her to explain, and the truth shattered my fragile heart, forcing me to finally see her.
"She died when we were teenagers." Noonie paused her sweeping, dropping her chin to her chest.
I was shocked by her revelation and unsure where this conversation would go next. Noonie's shoulders began to quake before she sobbed. Watching her fall apart ripped me up. Her cries sounded how I felt, but I was too afraid to show. I tried to resist going to her, but the second wail kicked me into motion.
I reached for her and drew my hand back before reaching again. I tried to stop the shakiness, but it was out of my control. A hand on her shoulder made her briefly freeze. I wrapped her in a hug, unable to let her fall apart when I was the one to open her wound in the first place. She fell into me, balling my shirt in her hands and really releasing pain that ripped open the stitches holding my own heart together.
"It's okay, Novi. Don't cry... please don't," I pleaded for her to stop.
She began to sniffle in place. "You don't understand. It's my fault. My sister's gone forever, and it's all my fault." Another round of grief rolled off her in a powerful wave that almost knocked me to the floor.
Despite the many emotions I felt, I had to be her anchor right now. Noonie needed it, and she needed me.
I rested my cheek on top of her head and began stroking her hair and rubbing her back. "It's okay, Noonie," I continuously repeated.
I don't know how long we stood there holding on to each other as she cried enough tears to fill a riverbank. I never thought I could be this man for a woman, yet here I was, standing strong even when I wanted to fall apart. I hadn't expected my question to lead to this, but in a way, I was happy it did. I could tell there was so much more to know about her.
When her crying finally subsided, she hiccupped and said, "Thank you."
My body was on autopilot as I placed a kiss on top of her head. "You're welcome. I know what it's like to lose a sibling. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone."
She shifted to look up at me. Her eyes were bloodshot red now. My heart began to race, seeing how utterly sad she looked. I started to wonder if her eyes were reflecting my own sorrow back at me. The thought had me shut my eyes to take a deep breath. When I opened them again, nothing had changed.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
My lips parted, but no words came out. I realized I wasn't ready to share my story with her. I literally couldn't utter a word. I'd never talked about Clea with anyone, and I knew today wasn't the day I'd start.
I stepped away quickly, creating a valley between us. I cast my eyes to the floor. "Um, nothing. I'm about to go work out." Before Noonie could respond, I was rushing out of the room. Her question sucked all the oxygen out, and I suddenly couldn't breathe.
Even when I made it to the roof, it was hard to regulate my breathing. Knovah was trying to get into my head, attempting to trick me into doing something I never did. I knew I should've never asked her that question.
Now, I couldn't stop thinking about the sister I'd lost and how her death was my fault, too. Still, I couldn't cry the way Noonie had, so I did what I did best. I pushed everything I was feeling deep down until I felt numb before I began my workout. Pushing my body to its limits until the only thing I felt was the sting of my muscles and the rivers of sweat running down my face. That was how I cried.