42. Knox
FORTY-TWO
KNOX
“I know Ava is going to be okay and all, but you don’t seem as freaked out about what happened in there as I am,” Tony says. We make our way out the double doors, into the back lot of the facility.
I nearly bark a laugh, ignoring my headache as we walk shoulder to shoulder across the lot. “I am. Trust me. It’s just not the first time I’ve seen her like that.” Nose to the damp ground, Lucy scopes the place out. Remotely, I realize it rained while I was sleeping.
I scan the back lot, which is more like a compound, with storage buildings and a hangar for a garage across from us, a puddle-riddled parking area to the right.
“Honestly, when I saw her with you in the cafeteria,” Tony continues, “I was floored. I’m still trying to figure out how the two of you could have possibly ended up here together in the first place. You’ve been avoiding her for nearly a decade.”
I rub my shoulder, realizing how hard I must’ve hit it yesterday during my fall. “I ran into Scott, and he was helping her until—” I run my hand over my face. “Until he couldn’t. That’s a story for another time, though.” I whistle for Lucy, wandering closer to the newest arrivals.
“Andrew said the horses are tied up by the garden.” Tony points to a greenhouse half visible behind a hangar.
As we pass, I note the two fire engines with ash debris on the windshields, a Peterbilt with enough soot that the company logo is indiscernible, and an empty trailer, parked side by side in the hangar.
There’s a commotion in the parking area as a handful of people climb out of a white van parked haphazardly in front of a graveyard of dust-covered, beat-to-shit vehicles. As newcomers pile out, I think of the van Ava and I saw in Amarillo.
“This way!” A facility employee motions for everyone to follow him as they adjust their bags and backpacks.
Most people move like zombies, rumpled and dirty, and exhaustion hovers over them like a cloud. A couple walks hand in hand, the packs on their backs so heavy they have to lean forward to stay upright. A teenage boy has his head wrapped and walks with a limp.
“We’ll get you checked in,” the worker says. “Then we’ll answer your questions.”
“So,” Tony starts, and his stare is like a cattle prod, willing me to look at him, but I don’t. “While you were in with Ava, Elijah mentioned they found a room for you guys.”
I watch the newcomers filing into the facility and wonder if we’ve gotten one of the last rooms. “Yeah? That’s good news.”
“Hmm.”
With a sigh, I finally look at him. Tony’s eyebrow is raised and his brown eyes twinkle with amusement. “A lot has happened in the past week, huh?”
I laugh— really laugh—this time. “You have no idea.”
When Loca’s tanned rump comes into view, I smile with relief. The horses are tied up at a fence post, grazing on weeds along the garden perimeter. Amidst gorging himself, Rooster’s head pops up when he hears us coming, a stem hanging from the corner of his mouth.
“Surprise, surprise,” I mutter. “You’re eating.” I rub his head and pat his thick neck. “What sort of damage did you do to yourself yesterday?” I lift his front leg to check for any injuries he might’ve sustained when he spooked since I have no idea what happened after.
Tony goes over to Loca, cooing to her like they are old friends. He strokes her belly as he coaxes her front leg up. “Where’s Poppy?” The clipped tone of his voice tells me he’s braced for the worst; he knows I’d never leave a horse behind if I could help it.
“She stayed back with my dad.”
Tony drops Loca’s leg, slowly straightens, and stares at me over her back. I pretend I don’t notice as I run my hand up and down Rooster’s back leg to ensure there are no wounds. I’d told Tony the ranch was likely gone, but I guess I’d failed to mention anything about my father staying with it.
“Your dad was there when you left?”
“He wouldn’t leave,” I admit. “Even when the fire was so close it was all we could see on the horizon.” The memory is gutting, and I try to swallow it all away.
Tony’s chin lifts. “Your mom,” he realizes. Having been a part of the ranch since he and I were in high school, Tony has learned more than he’d ever wanted to know about my family. He was with me when my mom died and helped me care for the steers and the horses after Kellen left, while my father was making runs to Dallas and San Antonio for the auctions. He was there for our shouting matches and the aftermath and all the bullshit in-between. Tony knows my family better than anyone, so of course he could guess why Mitch Bennett stayed behind.
“Yeah,” I murmur, “my mom. He made sure me and Ava got out of there, though.”
“That’s something I never thought I’d hear you say.”
“Which part?”
“Mitch looking out for you, and Ava, all in the same sentence.”
I pick a piece of mud from Rooster’s coat. “Yeah, that was unexpected. And weird. But—” I shake my head.
“But what?”
Still trying to wrap my head around it all, I meet Tony’s gaze. “This is going to sound crazy, but I don’t think he minded having Ava at the house.” I recall the haunted look in my father’s eyes when he got home after all he’d been through. “I thought he was dead—hell, he thought he was dead—and I think it changed everything for him.”
“I would imagine so. It’s not every day you’re faced with every wrong and horrible decision you’ve made in your life, only to come out of it filled with regrets. And I say plural because Mitch would have many.” Tony runs his hand down Loca’s back leg, drawing her hoof up to inspect it. “Horrific experience aside, though, I’m really glad Ava’s okay. She’s good people. And I’m relieved neither of you have been alone in all of this. After the news about California...” Trailing off, Tony puts Loca’s leg down and walks around her, stopping on the other side of Rooster. “I was worried about you—in a purely manly sort of way, of course.” He jests with false bravado, as always.
“Of course.” I roll my eyes with a grin. Taking a beat to soak in the past seven days, I fold my arms on Rooster’s back. “To be honest, if it weren’t for Ava, I don’t know what state I’d be in now. Then again, we haven’t had time to dwell on much. This is the first real break we’ve caught since we left the ranch. And what Ava had to go through to get us here—” I grit my teeth, groaning as I shake my head. “I’m over this shit, man.”
“You and me both.” Like the shit friend I am, I realize I have no idea what sort of hell Tony has been through since last I saw him.
He pulls his baseball cap off and scratches his head. Tony is freshly shaven, which is easy for him because the guy can’t grow a beard to save his life. He’s in clean clothes, which is more than I can say for half the people here. But there’s a shadow in his eyes that has never been there. A gauntness to his face that comes from a week of misery and bone-deep weariness.
“What about you?”
He looks at me.
“After the sinkhole, I couldn’t get a hold of you. I thought you were dead...How did you end up in Guymon?”
“That’s a fun story,” he grumbles, and inhaling a deep breath, Tony rests his arms on Rooster’s rump. “Long story short, my mom’s house was beyond repair after that earthquake, so we had already left San Antonio. We were headed back to Sonora when we heard about it, actually. We never made it, though. Traffic was being diverted, so we went to my aunt’s place in Fort Worth instead.” He draws circles in the dust on Rooster’s coat. “We were bused here three days ago. And I’m not sure what we’re going to do next. I don’t know how long they’re letting people stay, but it can’t be forever. The only other family we have is in Washington, and I haven’t been able to get a hold of them, and I doubt I ever will.”
Two facility workers exit through the double doors, chatting among themselves as if it’s just another day at work. We watch them get into one of the government vehicles.
“I overheard two analysts talking in the cafeteria yesterday,” he continues quietly. “They said they are understaffed as it is. Now, dozens of people are arriving each day, and not nearly as many of them are moving onward. I guess we’re all too scared to leave a good thing.”
I scratch my jaw, thinking about Kansas. “We were headed to Mason’s,” I tell him. “I don’t know exactly what we’ll be walking into in Ransom, but you and your mom should come with us. We should all stick together, if we can help it.”
Tony spits off to the side, a hard habit for guys like us to break, who spend all day in the dust and muck. When he looks at me, it’s with an expression I know like the back of my hand. Despite the muted daylight, his brown eyes are filled with reluctance. With worry. And I know it’s for his mom. “I would go with you in a heartbeat if it was just me,” he says, his voice rougher than usual. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. All of this has taken its toll on my mom. Losing her house, the fear and uncertainty. We’ve been lucky, especially compared to you, but she lost her cat on our way here, and let me tell you, that cat was as much a pain in my ass as it was an angel in disguise. It kept her busy and gave her something to smile about and fuss over. But after the evacuation center, at one of the rest stops, the damn thing bolted.” He sighs with a ragged breath. “My mom’s health wasn’t great before, and without that damn cat to focus on, it’s like she’s aged a year in the last three days. Unless you’re certain Mason’s place is safe—that he’s even still there—I’m not sure I should risk it. She hasn’t even come out of our dorm room yet today.”
Tony, my brother in all ways but blood, looks at me with regret and misery and a tinge of defeat, but I can’t hide my disappointment. “I understand.” And the truth is, I do understand. If my mother were with me, and ailing, many of my decisions would have been different.
“I’d stay here, but if my dad or Kellen?—”
“You don’t have to explain, Knox. I know why you’re going to Mason’s, and you should. I just—” He shakes his head. “There’s no telling what could happen between here and there, and I need to keep her someplace I know is safe.”
Blowing out a chestful of uncertainties, I rest my forehead on Rooster’s back. His coat is warm from his body heat, and the scent of him—of hay and dust and sweat—is so comforting I can almost pretend I’m back home if I squeeze my eyes closed hard enough.
“Have you been up to the third floor yet?” Tony asks. “They can tell you more about Kansas.”
“Not yet. I found Ava the minute I woke up, saw you in the cafeteria, and you know the rest. But I will.”
“I spent a couple of hours in there yesterday.”
Bracing myself, I stare at Tony. “And?”
He spits again, glancing around the lot. “It’s not good, Knox.”
“That’s why you’re so reluctant to go with us.”
He nods. “That’s definitely part of it. I don’t want to risk what I don’t have to. Not yet.” We stand in silence, both of us petting Rooster as our thoughts consume us.
“There is no such thing as normal anymore, is there?” I peer up at the gray sky that looks like it might burst at any moment and consider what lies beyond Guymon. But as my list of worrisome thoughts grows longer, I push them aside. My head aches enough as it is. For now, we’re all okay. And that Tony is here...it’s more than I could’ve dared to wish for at the moment.
“Come on,” Tony says, in tune with me, like always. “I’ll show you around.”
I nod when a thought occurs to me. “Actually—I need your help with something. It’s for Ava.” Because we do deserve a break, and I’m not sure when we might get another one.
“Sure.”
I turn around and stop. A child is standing directly behind me, looking at me expectantly.
“Harper,” I drawl in greeting.
Her gaze shifts from me to Tony and back again. “Ava said you’d introduce me to your horses.”
“I’m actually about to go?—”
“I’m going to be a veterinarian,” Harper explains, cutting me off. “So, it’s for science.”
Tony chokes on a laugh. “If it’s for science, Knox,” he titters, “you can’t say no.” I look at him and a shit-eating grin fills his face. Tony dips his chin at Harper. “Knox is definitely your guy. He knows all the things about horses.” He ignores my glare and crosses his arms over his chest with a smirk. I don’t mind kids, but I’m not particularly comfortable around them either. Tony, on the other hand, loves them...and loves torturing me, apparently.
“So,” Harper says, stepping closer. Her eyes don’t leave me. “Are you going to introduce me to them, or what?”