CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Aiden guided his car into an empty spot in the church parking lot. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he was there, but a large part of what had propelled him that day was a sense of gratitude.
Gratitude that he’d had the opportunity to meet and get to know his daughter. Even though he couldn’t take on the role of father to her, he was still in her life. And for that, he was grateful.
That gratitude had led him to make the decision to seek out the church where he’d first made a profession of faith and also the family who had played a role in that.
Aiden pushed open his car door, then reached back for the Bible he’d placed on the passenger seat. It was his dad’s, given to him by his mom when he’d told her that he was planning to go to Serenity for church that morning. His mom and Willow hadn’t come with him because they regularly attended a church near their home in Coeur d’Alene.
He had gone with them on occasion, but his attendance was sporadic. Perhaps his mom had sensed that him deciding to go to the church in Serenity was something different and special, which was why she’d chosen that day to give him his dad’s Bible.
Aiden didn’t like that tragedy was what had ended up bringing him back to God and opening his eyes to his failings in the past. But he felt like God was giving him the strength and desire to take accountability for his past actions.
With broad strides, he crossed the parking lot to the large front doors. The day was already warm, so it was a relief to step into the coolness of the building.
Glancing around, he spotted Wilder first, but he didn’t approach him. Aiden still wasn’t sure how the man felt about him, and he wasn’t really feeling up to a confrontation before the morning service.
Instead, he headed for the doors that led to the sanctuary. Once through them, he stepped to the side, taking in the sight of the space that looked much the same as it had the last time he’d been there.
Memories flitted through his mind as he stood there. First, of him and Cole and the other friends they’d had at the church, attending youth group together when they’d gone into ninth grade. Then Skylar had joined them, and as she’d blossomed from best friend’s annoying little sister to beautiful teen, he’d been drawn to her.
Any time there had been a service, he’d been there to sit beside her. Any time there had been a youth event, he was there with her.
Most of their dates had been as part of a group. They’d gone bowling together. They’d skated hand in hand at the roller rink. In the winter, they’d bundled up and gone ice skating with their friends. And afterwards, they’d sat around a fire built near the outdoor rink, pressing close to keep warm as they drank hot chocolate.
So many memories of that happier time bombarded him.
“Good to see you here, Aiden.” Jay’s voice dragged him from the past as the man’s hand landed on Aiden’s shoulder.
He turned to see Jay standing there with his wife, Misha, and a young girl he assumed was Ciara, who’d been just a toddler when he’d last seen her. “Good to see you again, too.”
“Are you planning to take a seat?” Jay asked.
He glanced at the pews. “Yep.”
Aiden’s intention had been to just sit at the back. However, he soon found himself following Jay and Misha down the aisle to the front. Several of the Halverson siblings and their spouses arrived right behind them, including Skylar, who made her way carefully down the aisle on her crutches.
When they were all settled in their seats, Aiden somehow found himself next to Skylar. He hadn’t intended to make things uncomfortable for her by showing up at the church, so hopefully she didn’t think that.
There was plenty of space between them, though. It was space that would never have been there when they were dating. But that was the past. He had to keep reminding himself of that.
The service format had changed little, though some of the songs were new. He didn’t recognize the people on the stage playing the instruments. Previously, members of the Halverson family had been part of the worship team.
When Pastor Kennedy stood up, Aiden smiled. The older man still looked much the same as he had when he’d last seen him. The pastor had the older kids that were in the service come to the front. After chatting with them for a couple of minutes, he said a prayer before dismissing them for their children’s program in the basement.
The familiarity of the format of the service made Aiden feel at ease. Skylar, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be relaxed at all.
She stood when everyone else did, but she didn’t sing along. Which was odd, because in the past, she’d loved singing. When they sat down, she crossed her injured leg over her other one and kept her hands folded in her lap, her spine straight and stiff.
Why was she coming to church if she didn’t want to be there? He doubted that her family would have forced her to attend. However, she might have felt like she didn’t have a choice.
He couldn’t deny that he enjoyed seeing her again, though her expression hadn’t changed at all when she’d spotted him.
The more time they spent around each other, the more he struggled with how to be in Shiloh’s life without constantly wondering how things might have been between him and Skylar had he not messed up so badly. He thought that perhaps they’d be living a completely different life as parents to Shiloh and possibly more children.
Even though she said she didn’t currently have a boyfriend, he wondered if she’d had any serious relationships over the years. If there had been any man she’d been tempted to settle down with.
Immediately following their breakup, he’d casually dated a lot of different women. It had been fun at first, and he’d also relished the freedom once he hadn’t been tied to just one woman anymore.
But within about six months, it didn’t feel like much fun anymore. And the one-time dates no longer held the appeal he’d thought they would.
Near the end of his junior year, he finally found someone he’d enjoyed spending time with. They’d been together for six months before she’d broken it off. At that point, he’d chosen to focus on finishing college, then getting a job. Only dating sporadically.
But when his dad died, Aiden had felt like his world had crashed and then narrowed in focus. Not long after that, his sister’s death changed the trajectory of everything once again, and any thought of a relationship had vanished from his mind.
Aiden wished that he’d recognized what he’d had with Skylar. That he hadn’t thought he needed to date a bunch of women before he could settle for just one.
He should have gone to his parents for advice on how they’d handled going from high school sweethearts to something more serious. He should have asked his dad how he knew with certainty that his mom was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with when he’d been so young.
The reality was that if he had loved Skylar enough, he wouldn’t have wondered if there was a better woman for him. He could see now that his maturity level then hadn’t allowed him to love and understand Skylar enough to cherish a relationship with her.
But now… for some strange reason, Aiden couldn’t help wondering if there was a way to breach her walls and find something with her. Even if it was just a friendship.
Pulling his thoughts back to the service, Aiden tried to focus on Pastor Kennedy as he spoke, knowing he was probably going to have a discussion with his mom about it later that day.
When the man gave a reference, Aiden opened his dad’s Bible. The pages were thin, but his dad had highlighted several passages and written in the margins. It was all he could do not to be distracted by them. The familiar scrawl brought tears to his eyes, but he blinked them away.
His dad had highlighted the very same passage that Pastor Kennedy had read.
Romans 12:3: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Aiden wondered if his dad and mom had talked about the verse. Had she highlighted it in her Bible, too?
His dad hadn’t been a Christian his whole life, the way the Halverson parents had been. But regardless, his mom and dad had been good and loving parents. Them becoming Christians hadn’t meant a significant change for him, since he’d been an adult and out of their house by then.
It had felt, however, that their love for him and Bethany had deepened, and had been a significant catalyst to Bethany becoming a Christian too, shortly before their dad had passed away. In the end, his family had become more active in their faith than he was in his, even though he’d been a Christian longer.
Skylar shifted beside him, and Aiden glanced over at her. There was tension in her profile, and Aiden wondered what he’d missed.
As if sensing his gaze, she turned her head, and their eyes met. For all that her body conveyed control, the emotion in her eyes suggested that perhaps that control was only an outward illusion.
He’d never dealt with that depth of emotion from Skylar before. Not to say her emotions had been shallow, particularly at the end of their relationship. However, he hadn’t been interested in emotional depth at that time.
Skylar blinked and turned her attention back to the stage, effectively shutting him out.
Aiden hoped that his mom didn’t ask too many questions about the sermon. His thoughts had been scattered in a few too many directions, making it hard to focus on what Pastor Kennedy was saying.
Aiden hadn’t planned to linger once the service was over, but he found himself invited to the home shared by Lee, Zane, and their wives.
When he looked at Skylar to see how she felt about the invitation, she met his gaze but didn’t indicate what she thought. Not that he really needed her to reveal anything. Aiden had a pretty good idea of what she would want him to do.
In the end, he accepted the invitation.
“Can I bring anything?” he asked Jay, who had, surprisingly, been the one to issue the invitation.
“Pretty sure they have it all in hand,” he said. “Unless you have a specific type of soda you like to drink.”
“They live where Janessa and Charli used to, right?”
“Yep. We’re keeping the house in the family, it seems.”
“Okay. I’ll see you there in a bit.”
In his car a few minutes later, Aiden pulled out his phone to call his mom.
“Are you on your way home, sweetie?” his mom asked. “Willow and I have eaten already because she was hungry, but there’s a plate in the fridge for you.”
“Actually, that’s why I’m calling. Jay invited me to lunch with the family.”
“Oh, that’s nice. I take it you accepted, and that’s why you’re calling?”
“Yes. So I’m not going to be home until later unless you need me home before that.”
“I absolutely do not need you home sooner,” his mom said. “You enjoy yourself and say hi from us.”
“I will,” Aiden told her. “See you later.”
After they said goodbye, Aiden dropped his phone into the cup holder. He glanced around and saw that the parking lot was about half empty, so he started up the car and left.
By the time he got to the house, several cars were already parked in the driveway and along the curb. That meant he had to park partway down the block and walk.
Which was fine because it gave him time to prepare to see Skylar again.
As he climbed the stairs, he realized how weird it was to be joining a Halverson gathering without Cole. For as long as he could remember, Cole had been his connection to the family. He had never attended any of their gatherings without his best friend also being there.
That day, Cole wasn’t there. Instead, Aiden’s connection was through a little girl and her birth mom.
When he reached the house, Lee answered the door. He gave Aiden a smile as he held out his hand. Once he had hold of Aiden’s hand, he pulled him in for a quick bro hug.
“Good to see you again, man,” Lee said. “Glad you could join us.”
“Hope it’s not a problem that I’ve shown up.”
“It’s not at all. Jay let me know he’d invited you.”
Lee led the way into the kitchen, where he slowed to let Aiden greet Zane and the women there before heading on out to the back deck. Hudson was there, along with Wilder and a young boy whose parentage Aiden had no clue about.
Aiden approached Wilder warily. It seemed that Jay had gotten over his upset with Aiden, so perhaps Wilder had as well.
“Guess I gotta be nice to you,” Wilder said.
The words might have stung if Aiden hadn’t been able to see the humor on the guy’s face. “I guess so.”
“Lexi’s still ticked at me over the last incident.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” Hudson said. “You have the ability to annoy people into not being mad at you anymore. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it.”
“It works the best on Lexi, to be fair.”
“Well, the one person it never works on is Kayleigh.”
Wilder grinned. “True. When I try to cajole her into not being irritated anymore, her irritation only intensifies.”
“One would think you’d have learned not to do it anymore,” Hudson said.
“Life’s always more fun when you don’t learn all the lessons you’re supposed to.”
“Tell that to Kayleigh.”
Aiden felt himself relax with the familiar banter of the Halverson family. Charli and Blake weren’t there, but Layla and Amelia had come together, and there was some talk about Layla having gotten a new-to-her car.
By the time Skylar arrived with her parents, he felt at ease enough to have held a couple of conversations with different people. When Skylar walked out onto the deck on her crutches, her gaze met his. However, she didn’t move in his direction.
Shifting from one foot to the other, Aiden felt a bit of doubt that they’d ever be able to build a friendship. One where they’d be able to chat comfortably and be at ease in each other’s presence, especially when they were also with Shiloh.
The awkwardness currently between them was almost bad enough to make him want to leave. Not because of how it made him feel, but because it undoubtedly made her feel stressed and unhappy to be around him.
He was so desperate to find a way to be part of his birth daughter’s life that he wasn’t giving as much consideration to Skylar’s feelings as perhaps he should.
He also wanted to be on good terms with the Halverson family at large. Like it or not, their lives were all now intertwined beyond more than just his friendship with Cole.
“How’s the ankle, Sky?” Wilder asked as she approached him and Aiden.
“Getting better every day,” she said.
“Does that mean you can go back to work soon?”
Skylar frowned. “Nope. I still can’t wear anything but a supportive runner, and that doesn’t cut it for my uniform for work.”
“No exceptions?” When Skylar shook her head, Wilder turned to Hudson. “Is that normal for those flights you rich dudes take?”
Hudson shrugged. “It wouldn’t be an issue with the attendants on our planes. At least not anymore. Alexander has made things a little less formal over the years unless we have someone we really need to impress on board. Then we’re all dressed a little more formally.”
“We have a pretty strict dress code,” Skylar said. “Since we deal with people who rent our planes, we have to give them the experience they pay for.”
“So you’ll just hang around here for the time being?” Wilder asked.
“Perhaps. I haven’t decided yet.”
“Is there a reason you have to be back in Vegas?”
“A reason besides my job?”
“Yeah. You know…” Wilder shrugged. “Like a boyfriend?”
Skylar’s eyes narrowed at her brother. “I’m not sure I’d tell you if I had one or not.”
“So, in other words, no.” Wilder turned to Aiden. “How about you?”
“How about me what?”
Wilder crossed his arms. “You got a girlfriend?”
“Nope.” He could have been vague like Skylar, but why? It didn’t make sense to avoid answering the question.
“Why not? Something wrong with you?”
“Not according to my mom.”
Wilder laughed. “Gotta love moms. So if you’re perfect—according to Mom McIntyre—what’s the problem?”
“You are aware of how my life has gone over the past few years, right?”
Wilder’s expression sobered. “Yeah. Sorry about your dad and sister, bro.”
“Thanks. Unfortunately, dealing with their passings and trying to help Mom and Willow have filled my hours.”
“I can only imagine how that’s been,” Hudson said. “Losing a parent is terribly difficult, and then losing a sibling on top of that must have been crushing.”
It sounded like Hudson might have lost a parent at one time, though Aiden didn’t know his history. “It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure.”
“Excuse me, everyone,” Lee said loudly as he clapped his hands. “Let’s gather around to pray, then we can dig in.”
Aiden stepped closer to the others and closed his eyes. When the prayer was finished, the kids had help to fill their plates first, then the adults gathered around the food-laden table.
Glancing around, Aiden noticed that Skylar was hanging back, probably because holding a plate while being on crutches wasn’t very doable.
“Here you go, Aiden,” Janessa said as she held out a paper plate for him.
He almost asked for a second one so that he could help Skylar get her food. However, a glance in her direction showed that her mom was with her, holding a couple of plates.
As Aiden waited for the others to get their food, he pondered why he felt such a strong urge to help Skylar. Was he wanting to prove to her that he was a different man than he’d been back when they broke up? Or was he just falling back to how he’d treated her before he’d lost his mind and dumped her?
Back then, when she’d been on crutches, he’d helped her get her food, so he supposed it was natural that his inclinations would go in that direction.
Aiden watched Skylar as she pointed to different foods, which her mom then placed on her plate. As the crowd thinned, he moved closer to the table and chose from the array of foods set out.
When he looked around to see where Skylar was seated, Aiden realized that maybe there was another reason for his desire to help Skylar. It wasn’t exactly upsetting to come to that realization. At least not for him.
He had a feeling that Skylar wouldn’t feel the same way.