Chapter 15 #2
“I’m not leaving you.” I think of Aiden and Ruby, knowing they’re out there waiting for me. I have to get out of here no matter what; there’s no other choice. I won’t leave them, but I can’t leave Dean, either. Cara would never forgive me, and I would never forgive myself.
“It’s not”—he coughs violently—“safe. Leave. The ring is in my truck. Give it to her.”
I shake my head and remove my helmet, doing the only thing I can think to do. I rip off my mask and place it on Dean’s face. “Breathe. You’re not dying today. I’m getting you out of here, and you can give her the goddamn ring yourself.”
There’s another loud crash, and everything goes dark.
I wake with a start, the intense burning in my lungs and the throbbing in my head warring for supremacy.
I try to sit up, but my body is pinned. Panic creeps in until I realize what has me trapped—or rather, who.
Golden blonde locks are fanned out across my chest. Her body is wrapped around mine like she’s afraid I’ll disappear.
Ruby’s soft snores fill the quiet of the hospital room, synchronizing with the whirring of the monitors. I stroke a hand over her head, needing to feel her—to confirm she’s real and this isn’t some dream I’ve conjured.
The door swings open, rousing her from sleep.
“Oh, you’re awake,” a nurse in blue scrubs says. “Good. Welcome back, Mr. Murphy.”
Ruby’s head snaps up, and her eyes well with tears before she buries her face against my chest and sobs. She’s speaking, but her words are muffled, and I can’t make out anything.
“As you can see, someone hasn’t left your side.” The nurse checks my chart, takes my vitals, and administers some pain meds. “How are you feeling? Do you need anything?”
I clear my throat, but it does nothing to help the burning sensation. “Water,” I say, my voice hoarse and barely audible.
“I’ll be right back with that. The doctor will be in to discuss a few things with you. Press the call button if you need anything else.” The nurse leaves, and I band both of my arms around Ruby, the IV line tugging against my skin.
She looks up at me through bloodshot eyes. “You’re here. I thought I lost you.”
“I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.” It hurts to speak, but for her I’d endure anything. I stroke a hand down her spine and bring my lips to her head.
The nurse returns with a pitcher of water and pours some into a plastic cup, inserting a straw.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“You’re welcome. The doctor is making his rounds now. He should be here momentarily.”
The nurse leaves again, and I finally have a chance to give voice to the questions that have been plaguing me since the moment I woke up.
I bring my nose to Ruby’s hair and inhale, taking in the familiar scent of her perfume. It’s too faint beneath the acrid smell of smoke still filling my senses. “Dean and Cara?”
“You saved them,” she says. “Cara’s already back on her feet, fighting like hell with the nurses taking care of Dean.”
“And Dean?”
Her eyes fill with tears again, and she sniffles. “He had to have surgery. They amputated his left leg below the knee, but he’s alive.”
There’s a tightening in my chest, a confusing mix of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. If I’d only gotten to them sooner…
As if sensing where my thoughts have strayed, Ruby’s soft hand touches my cheek. “They’re still here because of you.”
“Where’s Aiden?” The words get stuck in my throat, causing me to cough violently.
Ruby lifts the cup of water and a straw to my lips. It does little to soothe the burn.
“He’s with Ivy and Luca, having the time of his life at the ranch. Don’t worry.”
“Come up here so I can hold you,” I murmur.
She slides up my body, and I sweep some of the hair off her forehead, bringing my lips to her temple in a soft kiss. “Thank you for being there when I couldn’t.”
“Of course. You know I’ll always be there for Aiden. He’s my little bestie.”
I smile and hold her against me, fighting the urgent need to kiss her. Now isn’t the time. We both thought I would die in that building, and I don’t want our first kiss to be something she’ll regret when the smoke has cleared.
Quiet footsteps approach, and my attention turns to the doorway.
“Good to see you’re awake, Mr. Murphy,” the doctor says, flipping through the pages on a clipboard. “Do you want the good news or the bad news?”
“It’s all news to me, doc. Give it to me straight.”
“You have four broken ribs and a possible concussion. I’ll have to do some tests to confirm.
You also inhaled a significant amount of smoke.
We’ll be monitoring you for the next twenty-four hours at least. Some more severe damage may not appear until hours after the initial exposure, so we want to keep a close eye on you. ”
He removes the stethoscope from around his neck. “Miss, if you wouldn’t mind giving us some space.”
Ruby slides out of the bed and stands off to the side with her arms crossed over her chest as the doctor checks my airways. She’s swaying back and forth in that anxious way of hers, and I’d do anything to have her back in my arms.
“Your team got to you fairly quickly, so the smoke inhalation could have been much worse. You’ll need to sleep in an upright position to allow better airflow.
Staying hydrated is very important. We also recommend hot showers with lots of steam to clear the airways, and it may benefit you to develop a taste for cough drops. ”
All things considered, that doesn’t sound too bad. “When can I go home?”
“We’d like to keep you here for observation for another day or two at least. After that, you’ll want to have someone with you at all times for the first few days to monitor your condition.
If your breathing worsens or your concussion symptoms include vomiting, severe and increasing headache, confusion or agitation, slurred speech or numbness, you will need to go directly to the ER. ”
I glance at Ruby, and she nods. “I’m not going anywhere.” She returns to the bed and settles herself back against my side, one hand resting over my heart.
“Anywhere but here,” I whisper, inhaling more of her familiar scent.
Ruby adjusts the blankets around my legs for the hundredth time, folding down the portion covering my stomach.
I grab her wrist to calm her restlessness. “Leave it.”
She exhales a long breath, slumping onto the side of my bed. I pull her into my arms, my muscles tensing when the pain radiates from my ribs all the way up my abdomen.
“Shit. Did I hurt you?” She lifts the gown to check my ribs, and I stop breathing altogether as I wait for her to mention the tattoo. Her fingertips trace over my abs, tickling me. “These bruises look terrible,” she says sympathetically.
I glance at where she’s looking, taking in the dark bruises covering the vast majority of my side.
On a good day, there’s an inky black compass arrow behind a mountain range above a triangle of trees with the words ‘anywhere but here’ written in the top right corner.
Now it’s barely visible beneath the damage.
I let out a sigh and take her hand in mine, bringing it to my lips. “I’m fine, baby. But you haven’t slept all night. Close your eyes.”
She shifts onto her side, resting her head near my collarbone, her arm draped around my waist. I rub circles up and down her arm in a soothing motion until her soft snores fill the room.
If only she knew how much she means to me. Ever since I woke up with her in my arms, three little words have been on the tip of my tongue, but I know I can’t say them now.
Not when all these heavy emotions are clouding her judgement. When I finally tell her how I feel, I don’t want there to be any doubt of my sincerity. I don’t want her to think it’s some near-death confession when it’s much more than that.
A knock sounds at the door, but she doesn’t stir. She must be more tired than I realized.
“Come in,” I say.
The door creaks open, and a face I haven’t seen in years appears beside the curtain that surrounds my bed on one side. “I came as soon as I heard, are you o—” Connor stops dead in his tracks, his eyes locked on the woman in my arms. “Is that…”
“Ruby? Yeah. Keep it down. She hasn’t been sleeping well.” My tone is harsh, but I couldn’t care less. I haven’t heard shit from my brother in months, and he has the nerve to show up out of the blue? Why? It’s not like he gives a shit.
“When did this happen?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest.
I have to admit, Connor looks better than I’ve ever seen. He’s clean-shaven, and his red hair is longer on top, styled in an intentionally messy way. He’s wearing a pair of wire-framed glasses, and it looks like he’s been working out recently, judging by the added muscle mass.
“You’re gonna need to be more specific. There have been a few new developments in my life, as you can see.”
“I know about the fire, dipshit. When did you start fucking my ex?”
My nostrils flare, but I rein in my temper for Ruby’s sake. By some small miracle, she’s still asleep. “If you’re gonna be a dick, you can fuck off.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“We’ve been together for a few weeks.” It’s not the whole truth. We aren’t officially anything, yet, but Connor doesn’t need to know that. “She moved in to help with Aiden, and we… shit happened.”
“Shit happened?” Ruby’s head lifts, and she props her chin on her hand, pinning me with a mock glare. “Really?”
“Were you awake the whole time?” I ask.
“Long enough to know I’m some shit that happened,” she says, her tone dripping in amusement. She shifts to look at my brother, every ounce of her playfulness gone. “Hello, Connor. It’s been a while.”
“Ruby.”
“Your brother’s doing better. I’m sure that’s what you were going to ask next, right?” she says indignantly. “Or were you going to stand there and pry into our private relationship that’s… hold on, let me check my notes… oh, right… none of your fucking business.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to stifle my laughter, and when I look up at Connor, he’s doing the same. “Fair enough. How are you doing, bro?”
“Four broken ribs and a concussion, but I’ll live. Why are you here, Connor?”
He sighs and rakes a hand through his hair. “Can I sit?”
I motion toward the shitty metal chair in the corner and wait for him to speak.
“When I heard about the fire,” he says, “I—well, to be blunt, I didn’t think you had anyone here for you. Clearly, I was wrong.”
Ruby sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed. “I’ll give you two some time to talk. You can catch up on all the shit that happened.”
She’s about to walk away, but I snag her by the wrist, pulling her to me. “You know you’re so much more than that, right?”
She smiles, then leans down and kisses my cheek. “I know.”
The door snicks closed behind her and I shift until I’m upright. “You were saying?”
“Look, I’m an asshole, ok. But you’re still my brother, and I wanted to check on you.”
“Was I still your brother before the fire? Because I haven’t heard shit from you in like six months.”
“The phone works both ways. Were you planning to tell me you’re dating my ex, or was I going to find out at the wedding?”
A muscle ticks in my jaw. “You have no right to say a damn thing about our relationship after how you treated her in the end.”
He huffs out an irritated breath. “That’s rich coming from you. Just admit you wanted her the whole time, Liam. I know you did. Did you fuck her back then, too?”
“Watch it. You may be my brother, but you don’t get to be disrespectful. Ruby never cheated. I can’t say the same for you, though, can I?”
He pinches his eyes shut and leans forward, propping his elbows on his legs. He seems taller somehow, or maybe I still think of him as that little kid who was forced to grow up way too quickly alongside an unqualified big brother.
“I came here because I care. Because you’re my brother,” he says, his tone almost remorseful. “I didn’t come here to rehash the past. It’s been ten years. Ruby can date whoever she wants… even you. But I hope you know you don’t fucking deserve her.”
“We can agree on that, but neither did you.”
“You’re right.” The next few minutes pass in silence. When he finally looks up again, he says, “Are you really ok?”
“Hurts like a son-of-a-bitch, but I’ll be fine.”
“Good. Look, we have a lot of shit to talk about, but I don’t want to do it here. Can we meet for dinner later this week? I’m staying at the Willow Creek Inn.”
“I take it Miles called you?”
“And Cade. It was a joint effort.”
I nod. “Dinner sounds good. I have your number. I’ll text you.”
He stands and squeezes my shoulder. “I’m really glad you’re ok.”
“You look good, kid. Happy.”
“I’m getting there,” he says. “Be a better man than I was. Ruby deserves the best.”
I give him a tight-lipped smile and watch him leave, years of pent-up frustrations walking out the door with him, leaving behind the guilt I can’t seem to shake.
He’s right in a way. Connor pulled away first, but I was the one who gave up after so many unanswered calls and texts. I stopped trying, and that’s on me. I can’t help but wonder if I failed him in some way. I’m his big brother—I was supposed to be there for him.
No matter what happens, I could never hate him. I know what he’s been through; I was there too, and I won’t fault him for how he chooses to cope, whether he wants me in his life or not.
Ruby returns shortly after Connor leaves, immediately resuming her position. Having her in my arms eases the residual tension. She draws patterns over my heart, and I kiss her hair. This is how it should be, the hospital bed and revealing gown notwithstanding.
Quiet moments with Ruby make everything worthwhile. All of the heartache and loss, every shitty foster home and terrible ex—it all led me right here, to this amazing woman. I just wish this moment could last a lifetime.