Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
LUKE
“ S he’s here cleaning again?” I whisper when I step back inside the house. Hanging up my hat on the hook beside the door, I glance over to the bathroom where Mom's cleaning caddy is positioned by the door.
“The funeral’s only a few days away. I think she needs a distraction,” Erin whispers back sympathetically.
“How was work?” She quickly changes the subject and picks her mouth up into a smile.
“Not bad, I patched up a few gaps in the fences and got a good look at some of the new calves; they’re lookin’ healthy. I was thinkin’ of patching up the roof on the haybarn.” I can see how impressed she is, and it feels good.
A loud shriek comes from the bathroom, and when I quickly rush to see what’s happened, I find Mom with a huge, surprised smile on her face.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” She barges past me to get to Erin, throwing her arms around her and almost knocking her off her feet.
“This is the best news. A miracle.” She claps her hands together and looks up at the ceiling. “Oh, Erin…I…I’m speechless.” Mom laughs through her tears, and when I see the confusion on Erin’s face, I wonder what the hell is going on.
“Mary…I?—”
“I don’t want you to worry about a thing. We’ll take care of you, of both of you.” Mom presses her palm gently against Erin’s stomach, and I know instantly what's got her so happy.
“How many weeks along are you? Is this your first missed period?” she asks excitedly, barely giving herself a chance to take a breath. “Wait till I tell Bryce, he’ll be so happy.”
“Mary, I think there’s been a mistake.” Erin tries to speak, but Mom just talks over her.
“It's very rare to get a false positive, especially when it’s so clear.” Mom presents a white stick in front of her and waves it around like a flag. “This is a gift, Erin. A wonderful, perfectly timed gift.”
She’s right, this is a gift. A part of Matthew that will carry on, so why does the idea of it make me sick to my stomach?
“Mary, I don’t know where you got that, but it’s not mine,” Erin tells her, chewing on her lip awkwardly.
“Of course, it’s yours; it was in the trash. It fell out when I was emptying it. It was at the bottom. So it was taken some time ago. Did Matthew know?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s really not mine. I don’t know how it got there, but?—”
“It can’t be a mistake. The two of you were trying, weren’t you?”
“Mom!” I intervene when she starts getting too personal.
“We’re family, Luke, there needn’t be any secrets. You know how much your brother wanted children.” She looks back to Erin like she’s still expecting her to answer the question.
“Yes,” Erin admits, her eyes looking up at me and seeming guilty.
“Then there's a chance. Even if this test isn’t yours. There’s still a chance.” Mom continues to push her, and I can see Erin starting to panic.
“Come on, Mom. I’ll give you a ride home.” I head over and take her hand.
“I’m fine, I want to be here.” She forces me away.
“Mom, I’m taking you home.” I have to get stern with her ’cause she ain’t budging. Erin looks like she wants the ground to swallow her up, and I really don’t want to hear about how my brother was attempting to knock her up.
“Dad will be coming in, expecting dinner any minute," I remind her, dragging her toward the door.
“We’ll talk about this another time,” she calls back to Erin over her shoulder, still holding the pregnancy stick in her hand as I lead her to the truck and open the passenger door for her.
I wait until she’s buckled up and I’m behind the wheel before I attempt to talk some sense into her.
“Mom, you gotta give Erin a break,” I tell her once we’re on the main road.
“I know you're missing Matty and that you want to be close to him, but you're acting a little crazy.” Last thing I wanna do is hurt her feelings, but she’s not being herself right now, and someone has to give her a reality check.
“Crazy, for being excited at the prospect of a grandbaby? A little piece of our Matthew that will live on?” She stares back at me like I just put a knife through her heart.
“There is no grandbaby. Erin says the test isn’t hers,” I remind her.
“I know you know nothing about women, Luke, but surely you can see that she’s in denial.
The poor girl’s scared of being a single mom; she’s just lost her husband, for Christ’s sake.
She needs to know she has support. I appreciate that I probably came on a little strong back there, but I got overwhelmed.
A grandbaby.” She smiles to herself as she looks back down at the stick.
“You know someone pissed on that thing, right?” I check as we pull up into Mom and Dad's yard.
“Oh, don’t be so negative.” She flaps her hand at me. “This is a good thing, Luke. A good, good thing. It’s just the kinda hope this family needs.”
“Mom, don’t get your hopes up. I’ll speak to Erin when I get back, but in the meantime?—”
“You must make sure she’s eating right and getting lots of rest. No heavy lifting and?—”
“Mom, slow down. We don’t know for sure that this test is hers,” I snap back at her.
“Of course, it’s hers. Who else would it be?” She smiles me that bright smile I haven’t seen since we lost my brother, and as she gets out the truck with a spring in her step, I feel awful for hoping that she’s got this all wrong.
Erin is sitting at the table, looking upset when I get back, and I head straight for the cupboard where she keeps that good whiskey and pour myself a healthy measure. I don’t pour one for her just in case Mom's right and she is in denial.
“Erin, I want you to be honest with me. It’s okay to be scared, and I get that this may not be as exciting to you as it is for Mom…but is that test yours?” I ask her calmly, feeling my heart beating outta my chest.
“Luke, I’m not pregnant. I would never have let that happen.
” Her words confuse me, especially after what she just told Mom about the two of them trying.
While I try and figure out what she meant by it, she stands up, reaches behind me, grabs the bottle, and drinks straight from it.
“I don’t know how that test got there, but it’s one hundred percent not mine,” she assures me.
“But you were trying?” I check, knowing that Mom was right about one thing, even if the test isn’t hers, there’s still a chance she could be.
“No. Well… Yes.” She looks all flustered and confused.
“Well, is it a no or a yes?” I shrug back at her, starting to get frustrated.
“I can’t get into that right now. Besides, it’s inappropriate. All you need to know is that I’m not pregnant and we somehow need to make your mom understand that, too.” She scrubs her hand over her forehead before taking another swig from the bottle.
“I can deal with Mom; she just got carried away,” I explain, feeling such a strong sense of relief that I have to turn my back on her and grip the edge of the kitchen side.
I’m the one who's in fuckin’ denial here; I’m denying how consuming my feelings for this girl actually are.
So consuming that they’d make me fuckin’ jealous of her growing a child inside her that isn’t mine.
A child that would have belonged to my brother. Her fuckin’ husband .
I’m the one who should be dead.
“If it ain’t yours then whose is it?” I sit down at the table beside her and take hold of her hand. She’s got a weary look on her face, and I want to put her at ease.
“That's what I've been trying to figure out. It has to be Liza’s. But I don’t get why she would do it here and not tell me.”
“Maybe she didn’t want her parents to find it? I’m assuming she ain’t got a boyfriend.”
“Liza’s a free spirit.” Erin looks up at me with a cute little smirk on her lips that makes my cock hard. “But that doesn’t explain why she never told me.”
“Maybe she’s waiting until she’s come to terms with it herself. Maybe she’s in denial.” I take a little of the lesson I’ve learnt about women today and shrug.
“I need to talk to her. If it is hers, she needs to know that I’m here for her.” She takes out her cell and starts typing out a message.
“You want me to make myself scarce?" I offer, getting the sense that this ain’t the kinda conversation I wanna be around for.
“You shouldn’t have to do that, you’ve been out working all day.”
“There's plenty of work still to be done. I’ll just keep myself busy while the two of you figure this out.” I realize that her hand is still in mine, and I like how it feels so much that I keep hold of it.
“You’re changing Luke Edwards.” Erin smiles up at me; it’s different to the ones she used to make for my brother and I don’t know if it’s just because it’s made for me, but I’d say it looked brighter.
“Guess that's what happens when you find somethin’ to work for.” I squeeze her hand before I get up and make my way back out to the yard.