Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
ERIN
“ W hy didn’t you tell me?” I look at my friend and see how scared she is. Liza may be trying to put on a brave face, but she’s failing.
“You have enough to deal with, right now, without involving yourself in my problems.” She shrugs like her being pregnant is no big deal.
“How could you have taken the test here and not mentioned it to me?” I have so many questions that need answering.
“Well, I wasn’t gonna do it at home, was I? My parents are gonna flip when they find out.” She suddenly looks like she’s about to throw up.
“You're a twenty-four-year-old woman, Liza. I’m sure they’ll get over it,” I remind her, trying my best to keep her grounded.
“Twenty-four, unmarried, and living at home. I don’t even have a boyfriend. The whole town is gonna think I’m a floozy.”
“You are a floozy,” I tell her, nudging her shoulder with mine and trying my best to make her smile.
“So who were you floozing with?” I ask the most important question of them all, and I can tell by the way she screws up her nose that she doesn't want to tell me.
“Don’t…Don’t tell me it’s one of those River boys.” I shake my head and start to panic. Liza often hangs around the lake, getting drunk at the parties they throw. I know for a fact she’s got the hots for all three of them.
“No, it’s not a River boy. I know I’m stupid, but I’m not that stupid.” She takes a long, helpless breath.
“Then who is it? Is it someone I know?”
She closes her eyes and nods sadly.
“Jesus, Liza, you're killing me here. Will you just tell me, already?” I scold her.
“It’s Koben,” she admits, peeking one of her eyes open just enough to check my reaction.
“Koben!” I stand up from my chair. “KOBEN!?” My feet pace the kitchen floor as I take in what I’ve just heard.
“The two of you hate each other,” I remind her, just in case she’s forgotten.
“I know that. He drives me crazy. It was just a one-time thing… okay, maybe a two-time thing but?—.”
“But how? And how am I just finding out about this?”
“It’s not exactly something I’ve wanted to holla from the rooftops, Erin,” she hits back at me sarcastically.
“The first time it happened was at the wedding, and you can’t blame me for that, because it’s tradition for the best man and matron of honor to hook up.
” She looks at me as if I’m somehow accountable for this.
“At the weddi?—”
“Then a few months ago, I…I stupidly thought it would be a good idea to give him a booty call.” Her voice trails off, and she smiles at me awkwardly.
“A few months ago? Liza, how pregnant are you?” I stare back at her in shock.
“This is the second period I’ve missed.” She twists her fingers and looks down at her lap like a child being scolded.
“And you only just thought about taking a test?”
“I was scared. You know I’m not cut out to be a mother,” she admits. “And the day Matthew went missing, I was coming here to talk to you about it. I’d finally bought the test and I wanted you with me when I took it.”
I think back to that day and remember her calling in just before Mary arrived.
“When I got here, you were all panicked about Matthew. I wasn’t going to bother you with my issues.
So, I pulled up my big girl pants and took the test while you were on the phone with his mom.
I’d built myself up all the way over here to take it.
I had to do it or hell knows how long it would have taken me to find the courage to do it again. ”
I quickly throw my arms around her when I realize how scared she must have been.
“You should have told me,” I whisper into her ear, squeezing her tight.
“Your husband’s just died, Erin. I’m pretty sure that trumps getting knocked up by a complete jerk.
” She pulls herself away and smiles as she wipes her eyes.
“My problem isn’t going anywhere fast; we have plenty of time to figure it out.
This is a tough time for you. You're the priority, right now.”Her selflessness stirs all that guilt up inside me.
Reminding me of what a hypocrite I am. How can I be mad at her for keeping this from me when I’ve kept how unhappy I’ve been from her for so long?
“And what about Koben? I’m assuming you haven’t told him yet?” I retake the seat beside her and try to distract myself.
“Erin, I haven’t told anyone.” She looks outraged by the idea. “I don’t want a single soul to know about this yet.”
“If you're sure the baby’s Koben’s, you really have to tell him; he has a right to know.”
“You don’t think I know that?” She drops her head into her hands. “But how? How do you tell someone you hate that you're carrying their child?” She growls in frustration.
“Hates a strong word; besides, you can’t have disliked him that much. You slept with him. Twice,” I remind her with a grin.
“He’s gonna freak out, and what if he thinks I did this on purpose?” She shakes her head.
“He’s not gonna think that.” I try my best to sound reassuring.
“Of course, he is. The man has an ego the size of fuckin’ Texas. He’s one hundred percent gonna think I did this on purpose.” Tears start building in her eyes.
“Then he should have been more careful; it takes two people to make a baby, Liza.” I’ll happily remind Koben of that, too, if he starts trying to place any blame on my best friend.
“My parents are gonna be so disappointed in me; this is their worst nightmare. It’s my worst nightmare. I can’t be a mom, Erin.” She starts breathing like she’s hyperventilating.
“Calm down, you're gonna be just fine. True, your parents are gonna be surprised, and no doubt they’ll have something to say about it. But in time, once they’ve gotten used to the idea, they’re gonna support you.
You have me… and I can’t imagine Koben expecting you to do this alone.
” I rub her back and try to encourage her to be positive about this.
“How the hell do you co-parent with someone who has the IQ of a baboon?” She throws her head back dramatically.
“Actually, baboons are highly intelligent,” I correct her, and the scowl she gives back warns me to shut the hell up.
“Promise me you won’t tell him.” She narrows her eyes at me more deeply.
“Liza, I?—”
“You have to promise. I need time to get to grips with this myself before I start dealing with any baby daddy drama. Just give me a few more weeks,” she begs, and despite me thinking she’s making a mistake, I nod my head and agree.
Koben may act up a little sometimes, but deep down I know he’s a good guy.
There’s no way he’d shy away from his responsibilities.
“So am I allowed to get excited about the fact that I’m gonna be the coolest aunt ever?” I question her, placing my hand on her flat stomach and showing her how excited I am.
“Only because you're grieving.” She rolls her eyes and eventually smiles back at me.
“This is gonna turn out to be a good thing, Liza,” I promise her, kissing her cheek and heading to the stove so I can make my pregnant best friend some tea.
Luke comes back inside about ten minutes after Liza’s left to go home. He’s looking tired, dirty, and sweaty, and I can’t help thinking it looks incredibly sexy on him.
“What ya been doing out there?” I ask, wiping over the table and rearranging the place mats just so I don’t stare at him for too long.
“Fightin’ with Titan so I could pick out his hooves; I swear that bastard hates me.” He laughs as he makes his way over to the basin to wash his hands.
“Don’t take it personally, that horse hates everyone… Except for Matthew.” I step up behind him, watching his reflection in the glass window as he focuses on scrubbing his hands clean.
“You find out if the test was Liza’s?” He turns around and looks startled when he sees how close I’ve gotten. But I don’t apologize or explain myself, I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. Instead, I watch his broad chest heave up and down through the tight, sweaty T-shirt he’s wearing.
“You look…” Hot. Sexy...shit, I wanna put my mouth on him again. “...Tired. You’ve had a long day, you should get some rest,” I suggest, feeling like there needs to be some distance between us. I feel like I’m being dragged toward him, and it’s not something I can let happen.
“I was actually gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie or somethin’. I know it’s late, but I don’t sleep too well at night, too much to think about,” he says, scratching the back of his neck and looking kinda shy.
“A movie sounds good.” I smile up at him, knowing that I should decline and go to bed, but I don’t want to.
“Cool, I’ll grab a shower while you pick something out. And none of that chick-flick shit. I need somethin’ with at least some blood and gore.” He waggles his finger at me as he heads toward the bathroom.
“The test was hers,” I call out to him before he has a chance to shut the door. I know Liza wants the whole thing kept secret, but I feel the urge to guarantee him that the test his mom found wasn’t mine.
“Shit.” He shakes his head and laughs. “Does she know who the kid's father is?” He raises one of his eyebrows.
“She knows. She’s just choosing to keep it a secret until she’s got her head around it.”
“So why you tellin’ me?” He smirks back at me cleverly.
“'Cause I trust you, and… I wanted you to know for sure the test wasn’t mine.” I’m surprised at how honest my answer is. I seem to lose all filters when I’m around him.
“You told me it wasn't yours. I believed you.” His voice goes all soft again, and it melts my insides, and suddenly I realize that I’ve been staring at him for far too long again.
“Yeah, well, I was hoping you could make sure your mom gets that message; she’s gonna be crushed, and right now I can’t deal with–”
“Leave it to me. Don’t you worry about a thing, except for picking out that movie, okay?” He smiles, and it fills my chest with a warmth I’ve been missing out on my whole life.
“Okay,” I whisper back at him, heading for the couch and finding the remote. When I see the framed picture of me and Matthew on our wedding day staring back at me, I take it down and slide it under the couch.