Chapter 7 Never Wake a Girl up at an Ungodly Hour
Now that I’ve been doing extra practices with Sierra for a few days, I have four pages in my notebook filled entirely with things I’ve found out about her.
For starters, she’s incredibly patient, but that’s mostly because she’s stubborn as hell.
Once she’s set her mind to something, she will do absolutely everything within her power to make it happen.
Whether that means winning the end-of-camp beach volleyball competition or helping me be true to myself or even just keeping that stupid ball up in the air—it doesn’t matter.
Sierra Levine never does things halfway.
When she wants something, she’s always going to give her all.
Secondly, I’ve noticed that she does, in fact, smile.
She just tries to hide it for some reason.
But even if she doesn’t let her lips curl up entirely into a wide grin, there’s this spark in her brown eyes whenever she’s amused.
The same spark that was there the six times she did accidentally let a laugh slip.
Not that I’ve been keeping count or anything.
There’s also the fact that she always makes sure she has her hair up in a ponytail.
I’m literally sharing a cabin with her, but I still haven’t managed to catch her with her hair down.
She’s always dressed before the rest of us wake in the morning, and at the end of every day, she lets her hair loose only once the lights are out.
At least, I hope she does. Sleeping with a ponytail in doesn’t exactly seem comfortable or healthy to me.
My list goes on and on, and I guess that, after what she did an hour ago, I have another item I can add to it: Sierra Levine is absolutely ruthless.
“So…what is your dream job?” she asks as she casually passes the volleyball back to me. Like she doesn’t understand that I’m going through literal hell right now.
“You woke me up at six a.m.,” I remind her. Then I spike. As hard as I can.
Sierra catches the ball even though we both know she could’ve easily played it back to me. “First of all, nice work,” she compliments me. “That was a good one. But, second of all, you really can’t keep using that as an answer to every single question I ask you. You know that, right?”
My lifeless eyes meet hers. “You. Woke me up. At six a.m.”
Sierra forces the corners of her mouth not to lift, but I notice that she wants to laugh either way. It’s in the way the corner of her mouth twitches, which is such a small thing, barely noticeable, and yet…
Even with all my current moodiness, there’s something satisfying about being the reason she almost smiles. Like finally checking off the hardest item on my weekly to-do list.
I’m distantly aware of the fact that I’m now full-on staring at her, but I couldn’t bring myself to look away even if I wanted to.
The sight of her in the golden morning sun is something straight out of a painting.
I’m no artist, but even I feel the urge to capture this moment, if only to bottle up the calming warmth that fills my belly.
But then Sierra frowns and the strange feeling fades away, leaving me with nothing but an embarrassed blush coloring my cheeks.
“You okay?” Sierra asks.
Finally I find the strength to look away. “Um, yeah,” I say. “Just feeling a bit funny, I guess.”
Sierra nods, and this time, she’s the one studying me. Her expression doesn’t give away what’s on her mind, but as her brown eyes take me in, I feel as though she’s lighting a fire within me.
I can’t decide if I like that or not.
“Maybe we should stop for now,” she says eventually, crouching down and passing me my water bottle. “And please make sure you stay hydrated. I’ve barely seen you drink anything yet this morning.”
“Will do, boss,” I assure her, trying to shake the feeling of her eyes on me as I drink. I’ve just swallowed the water down when my throat instantly grows dry again.
While I take another sip, Sierra packs up our stuff, after which we start our short walk back to SMASH! I thought campers weren’t allowed to be left unsupervised, but for some reason Sierra’s dad didn’t seem to mind much.
I don’t know what to think of that yet, but I guess it’s convenient for these extra practices.
When we get back to SMASH! we find a bunch of people already waiting for breakfast to start.
My friends spot the two of us and immediately wave us over, even though they’re sitting at our usual table and I would’ve found them regardless.
Before I can make my way over to them, though, Sierra pauses in front of the glass door separating us from the rest of the group.
Her brown eyes meet mine so intensely, I have to look away. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” she asks quietly, as if this is something that should stay between us and us alone.
I’m about to nod and tell her not to worry when my gaze accidentally lands on Daniel. I think back to our walk yesterday, of how much work I still have to do to fix this whole mess, and suddenly I don’t feel so okay anymore. I swallow at the reminder of everything that’s at stake.
“I will be,” I quickly assure Sierra. “Just have to eat something first, I guess,” I lie, and then I open the glass door and walk up to my friends, Sierra trailing closely behind me.
For a moment, I really do believe she’s going to take the chair next to me—the one that’s always left empty.
But then she walks right past it, wordlessly deciding to sit down at a small empty table in the corner instead.
Right.
I have no reason to be disappointed by this.
I knew going into this that Sierra would never consider the two of us friends, even if she became the person I’m most myself around, and I was fine with that.
I am. But I can’t help that my heart—that treacherous little thing in my chest—sinks a bit as I see her walk away from me.
It’s not that I’m hoping we’ll hang out with each other a lot after this summer.
I’m not letting myself be that naive. Still, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been enjoying her company or hoping she would stay in mine for now, as long as we’re here.
Because even if what happens at camp stays at camp, I thought we could at least enjoy the little time we have here together.
But I guess that, even at camp, we’re nothing more than two strangers helping each other out, counting down the days until we can go back to living our lives without each other.
The next day, my whole body is sore and I have a Headache that’s worthy of that capital H, but that’s not going to stop me from staring at my phone while lying in bed.
Pictures of my classmates flash before my eyes, all of them showing off their bright smiles and cool adventures and amazing friends.
I quickly scroll past most of them, but when I see that Nina has posted some truly stunning pictures of herself posing in Willowmoor’s local flower garden, I make sure to give it a heart.
Barely ten seconds later, a string of notifications pops up on my phone.
Nina ?:
THANK GOD
you’re finally online!!
i’ve been bored out of my mind
You:
surely it’s not that bad?
Nina ?:
girl…
it definitely is that bad
She’s quiet for a moment, then suddenly she’s typing again and the following messages pop up:
i can’t believe you actually abandoned me
to play volleyball no less
ugh
My thumbs move on their own, typing an apology to Nina almost as a reflex.
Probably because it is a reflex, but at the last minute, I manage to hold myself back.
I pause for a second before I hit the delete button repeatedly, only stopping once the message box is completely blank.
Then I start writing something entirely new.
Something the Ellie of a few weeks ago wouldn’t have dared even thinking of sending to someone.
It’s strange, typing out a message in which I talk about no one but myself. But it’s time for me to start actually using the things Sierra has taught me beyond the bubble that is summer camp, so, without too much overthinking, I hit send.
You:
i didn’t expect this either but it’s actually been really fun so far haha!!
the people here are so nice :)
and in my defense we do a lot outside of playing beach volleyball too
this evening we had a quiz night for example
I’m still typing out a follow-up message to tell her I almost ended up in last place when Nina’s reply comes in.
Nina ?:
wow
sounds like you’re having a good time
meanwhile i am over here DYING from boredom because you left…
Maybe she doesn’t mean it in a hurtful way, but after reading her words, my shoulders slump instantly and I stop typing—stop moving, even. As if I truly believe that if I make myself smaller, if I don’t take up too much space, Nina won’t be annoyed with me anymore.
That is, if she’s truly annoyed in the first place.
I’m probably just reading too much into her message.
After all, that’s what I always do: I overthink stuff and try to find meaning where there isn’t necessarily any, but…
I don’t know. Whether intentional or not, it stings, especially coming from the person I call my best friend, the one who is supposed to make me feel like I’m the best version of myself.
But instead her words are a reminder of why I started following my seven rules in the first place.
A reminder of the consequences attached to forgetting them.
I swallow, deleting the half-finished sentence I wanted to send before replacing those words with what I know Nina expects me to say.
You:
i wish i could be there for you right now
but!! i’ll be home again before you know it!!
i promise everything will go back to normal soon <3
Nina ?:
it will :)
speaking of getting back…
how are things with you and Daniel?