Chapter 24
Carli
If women knew how good they looked
in the dash light of oversized pickup trucks,
they’d never get out of them.
~ Craig Johnson
The road looks brighter tonight, but maybe it’s just because I was out here so recently. Everything feels familiar. Cody’s parked in the same spot as last time, but tonight he’s got the tailgate down and he’s sitting on it with his legs dangling.
I step out of my truck and walk over to him, stepping right between his legs and wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Mmmm,” he hums. “I missed holding you.”
“Same,” I say, stepping back and looking up into his face. We share a smile and then I hoist myself up into the back of his truck, next to him.
He spread a bunch of blankets out and the bed of the truck feels softer than usual.
“This is cozy,” I say.
“I got a bed liner pad this week.”
“How convenient,” I tease.
“Didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
I scoot to the back wall of the cab where Cody’s already lined up a bunch of pillows. He moves so he’s sitting right next to me. Our legs touch. He wraps his arm around me and I lean my head onto him.
He knocks my boots with his. “Did I already mention how much I missed you?”
“I could use hearing it again.”
“Well, I missed you, Carli. A few stolen kisses are fun, but they aren’t near enough.”
“I know,” I agree.
He tells me about a fire call he went on yesterday and a few funny situations around the ranch. I tell him about work and the dress fitting.
“I can’t believe you and Luke,” I say.
“It was his idea, but he didn’t have to rope me. I came willingly. Any excuse to see you. Is that the dress you’ll be wearing?”
“Yeah. I think so. I only tried that one on, but it works.”
“I’ll say,” he says, smiling down at me.
Our breath mingles into the cool night air.
I think he’s going to kiss me, but he asks, “Are you looking forward to the wedding?”
“Yes. Of course. McKenna’s so excited.”
I allow my eyes to drift shut. My mouth pinches and I let out a breath.
“But?” he asks. “Something else.”
“Yeah. I guess.” I tilt my head up to look Cody in the eyes. “I just don’t want her to leave. The whole time they’ve been dating, she always came home. Once they’re married, all bets are off. His work is in California.”
“And Iceland,” Cody says with a short huff of laughter.
“Yes. All over—wherever they shoot the next film.”
“She’s not going to follow him around,” he says. “I mean, she might, I guess. But I’m thinking she’ll still come here whenever he’s on location.”
“You think?”
“Until they have kids.”
“Kids,” I say softly, trying to imagine McKenna as a mom.
I do see it. She’ll be so fun and loving. She has the best parents. She’ll be different than they are, but keep the best of what they gave her and pass it down.
I hope they’ll call me Aunt Carli—and that I’ll still belong in the Lawson family the way I do now.
“Do you want kids?” Cody asks.
“Do I?”
“You’re the only one in the back of my pickup. I was asking you. Unless you don’t want to answer that.”
“I do,” I say, smiling up at him.
“Me too,” he says. “Like three or four.”
“Do you have them named already?” I tease him.
“If they’re girls, we’ll call them Carli. Boys can be Cody Jr.” He chuckles.
“What if we have two boys?” I ask, playing along.
He doesn’t miss a beat. “Cody Jr. and Cardy Jr.”
“Cardy?” I laugh.
“It’s a blend of our names. We can name the third one Cardy whether it’s a boy or girl. We’ll have Cody, Carli and Cardy.”
“That’s going to go over great on the playground. Just zero teasing, I’m sure.”
He laughs. “Okay, how ’bout you be in charge of naming and I’ll be in charge of picking out their horses.”
“No way! I want to pick the horses. He’ll get over being called Cardy. I’ll nickname him C.J.”
We smile at one another, the soft laughter slowing as we stare into each other’s eyes.
“I’m joking, but not,” Cody says, smoothing my hair back.
“Me too,” I say softly.
He brushes his lips across mine. “Is this moving too fast?”
“You kissing me?” I tease.
“No. Talking about whether you want kids.”
I don’t tell him I’ve been thinking of having his children for years.
“It’s not too fast. I think we might want to come out about our relationship first, though. We might freak everyone out if we just show up with kids one day—especially with those names.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” he says with a smile.
He shifts a little, tugging me close. I settle in, wrapping my arm loosely across him.
“Have you thought about the captain position any further?” I ask.
“The application is due this week,” he says.
“Are you applying? Did you decide?”
“Yeah. I am.” He smiles at me and I stare into his eyes, a warmth trickling through me.
“You talked me into it,” he says.
“Me?”
“Yeah. I thought a lot about what you said. I think this is the right move.”
It’s a heady feeling, being the one who nudged him toward a decision this big. I hope I pointed him toward what’s best—for him.
“You’ll be Captain Lawson,” I say.
“While you’re Inspector Buckner.”
“We probably shouldn’t sneak kisses behind the firehouse at that point,” I say. The memory flashes, and the hum of his nearness buzzes through me.
“Hmmm,” he says, running his hand down his jawline. “Maybe I won’t apply after all.”
Then he leans in and kisses me. I snuggle more deeply into his embrace and wrap my arms around his waist. The crunch of gravel startles me. I pull back, quickly ducking low into the truck bed. Cody shields his eyes against the beams of light aiming in our direction.
My heart beats so rapidly I can feel it in my throat.
“Duck down!” I whisper, my hands shaking as I tug at the back of his jacket.
He joins me, laying flat in the bed of the truck, shielding me with his body while the light moves across the truck and then dims and disappears. The sound of tires on the road grows quieter until there’s nothing but tree frogs and owls again.
“Just someone turning around,” Cody says, sitting up and pulling me toward him again.
“I didn’t think anyone came out this way,” I say.
“Yeah. Me neither.”
“Do you think they saw our trucks?”
“Saw them? Maybe. But I doubt they could tell whose they were. It’s pretty dark out here and they just pulled in, backed out and went back the way they came.”
My heart’s still racing. I place his hand over it.
“They scared the bejeebers out of me.”
Cody chuckles. “I’ve got you.”
“You weren’t scared?”
“I mean, it’s not ideal timing with the wedding coming up, but if we get caught, we get caught.”
“Jace would have a fit,” I say. “That’s not the way I want him or McKenna to hear about us.”
“Yeah. Town grapevine spreading that I’m stealing away with you down a dark road curled up in a truck bed at night …”
“Why, Cody Lawson!” I say in mock shock. “You hussy!”
We laugh and I cling to him. He tugs me close.
“Let’s just stay here forever,” I suggest, snuggling into his shoulder.
“I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon,” he says.
We’re quiet for a while. My fingers toy with the hairs on his forearm and he rubs his hand down my arm. The stars fill the darkness overhead. From this vantage point, Cody’s profile looks like it’s etched into the night sky—a gorgeous silhouette. I release a contented sigh.
My phone buzzes. I glance at Cody and then pull my cell out of my pocket.
“McKenna,” I tell him, sitting up to read her message.
McKenna: Thanks for coming out today. I feel like we barely got time together.
Carli: It was good to be there. And, yes. It’s been too long.
McKenna: What are you up to? Can you come over?
I flash Cody her message. His lips thin.
I type a response, delete it, type again.
Carli: I’m kind of worn out from work and everything. Can I take a rain check?
I show my answer to Cody and he nods once.
“I hate lying to her,” I say. “I never thought it would come so easily to me.”
“I know. It’s not ideal having to cover up all the time.” His face softens. “Are you worn out from work and all your responsibilities on the farm?”
I don’t know what that has to do with lying to McKenna, but I answer him. “Yes. Not in a way that makes me regret taking the job, but yeah. I’m giving my all everywhere—the farm, the office ... Starting a new job has taken a lot out of me—just the learning curve alone is a lot.”
“So, you’re not lying to McKenna,” he says. “You’re worn out.”
“I am lying to her, though.”
“I know. But you might not have said yes to her even if you were alone in your cabin tonight. You are worn out.”
“I came out with you.”
“I’m cuter,” he says with a smile.
“You really are,” I say, leaning in to cup his jaw and place a soft kiss on his lips.
My cell buzzes again.
McKenna: We need girl time soon—just the two of us.
My gut swirls with a taut pull.
Carli: We totally do. Let’s plan something.
McKenna: Text me tomorrow with a time that works for you.
Carli: I will. Goodnight. Dream of white dresses and crying men at the altar.
McKenna: That’s exactly what I’ll be dreaming of. Goodnight.
I pocket my cell.
Cody smiles down at me. “You’ve always been such a good friend.”
“By refusing to be with her so I can make out with her brother in his pickup truck?”
He laughs lightly and shakes his head. “No. You’re one of the people who stood by her when no one understood what all this social media stuff was about. She had a dream and you supported her. You always had her back.”
“I do.”
He leans in and kisses me. It’s this lazy, we’ve-got-all-night kind of kiss, deep, but sweet enough to almost draw tears.
I melt into him and he holds me, exploring, assuring.
He’s kissed me playfully, urgently, quickly, but this kiss is different.
It’s the kiss of two people settling into what they share.
I feel his kiss deep inside me, like a promise.
I run my hand through his hair and he hums, pulling back and resting his forehead on mine.
“I think I’m falling for you, Carli.”
His words are quiet, thoughtful.
I officially fell for him years ago. But I know what he means. This isn’t infatuation. It’s not intrigue or attraction. Though I’m beyond attracted to Cody. What I feel for him now is far deeper—like a cord, tethering me to him no matter where I go.
“Me too,” I practically whisper. “I’m falling for you, Cody.”
“Yeah?”
I nod.
It’s not the three words, but we’re tiptoeing up to them. I could say them right now and mean them with everything I am. But there’s something even truer about naming the way we’re falling. Raw and real.
“You’re my person,” I tell him.
“Your person,” he echoes, a smile taking over his face.
He runs his hand through my hair. “I like that. I’m your person.”