Chapter 25
Cody
If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.
~ Geena Davis
The morning air is warmer than it’s been.
It’s my day off, but I’m pitching in around the ranch.
My older brothers are out in the pasture repairing fences.
Luke and I are fixing a hydraulic hose leak on one of the tractors.
The hood’s up. He’s in the cab. I adjust my goggles and tug on my work gloves.
“Cycle the loader!” I shout to him.
He wiggles the joystick and the bucket moves forward, back, up and down, relieving the pressure. I pop the pan under the leak. Luke hops out of the cab and secures the hose with a wrench while I crack the line loose.
Ethan comes around the corner of the barn just as I’m saying, “Hand me the other wrench.”
“Good to see you boys finding a way to be useful around here,” Ethan teases.
“Oh yeah?” Luke answers. “And what are you doing besides pestering us?”
Ethan smiles. “Point taken. Mom just wanted to talk to Cody. See her before you head out. Something about your birthday celebration.”
“Does she know I’m not ten years old anymore?” I ask, half joking.
I love how committed Mom is to celebrating each of us. Still, I’m well beyond the age of wanting a party to celebrate another year of life.
I put the new hose on and hand-tighten it. “I’ll see her before I go to the farm supply.”
“Good,” Ethan says, nodding once.
I don’t mention that I’m stopping at the station in town to slip in my application for the captain position. Only Jace and Carli know about the opportunity right now. And Carli’s one of the main reasons I even have the clarity and courage to go for it.
“I’ll top off the fluid,” Luke offers. “You can check in with Mom, birthday boy.”
“Not my birthday yet,” I say.
He just laughs. “Better you than me.”
“Just wait ‘til your birthday,” I threaten. We both chuckle.
I take off my goggles and gloves and head in the house to check in with Mom.
She’s folding sourdough on the island counter and humming to herself softly.
She tells me she’s having some friends over for dinner the night of my birthday—the Buckners and a few other ranch families we’ve known for years.
“If you want to invite your crew, feel free. We’ll have plenty of food.”
“I think I’m good,” I tell her.
She looks up at me from her work, her eyes soft and her brows lifting to the center.
“Fine. I’ll ask the guys,” I concede.
“Up to you, Cody. It’s your day.”
“Is it though?” I joke.
“Yours and mine. I did go through labor all those years ago.”
“You did far more than that—and you still do,” I say. “I’ve got a great idea. Let’s get you a cake and gifts and have the neighbors over to sing to you off-key.”
She laughs softly. “Okay, smart aleck.”
I lean in and kiss her cheek. “I’m off to the Hay and Feed. Dad’s got an order coming in and we need some colostrum replacer for the calf that was born last night and some electrolytes.”
“Be safe,” she says, as if I’m going off to war, not down the road for supplies.
“I will,” I promise.
I drive to the station, my radio playing and the memories of Carli in my truck bed keeping me good company. I park alongside the bay in one of the spots left open for the crew on shift. David’s meeting me here, even though it’s both of our days off.
“Hey, Cody!” a few guys on our alternating crew greet me when I walk through the bay.
“Hey, is Captain David here?” I ask.
“In the office,” Shawn, one of the firefighters on duty, tells me. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I just have to fill out a form for him.”
I walk through the bay and into the office. David and Captain Brewer are sitting at the desk with cups of coffee, talking casually. When I walk in, both their heads pivot in my direction.
“Cody! Thanks for coming in,” David says, standing and extending his hand for me to shake.
We don’t usually shake hands, but I grip his and then let it go.
“Glad to. Thanks for making time to be here.”
“I was just telling Gene about your willingness to apply.”
“You’ll make a great captain,” Captain Brewer says.
“I’m just applying for now. The position’s not filled.”
“Not filled, but you’re on crew and your captain is putting in a good word, it’s as good as yours.”
My stomach does a little flip. Apparently, applying for leadership turns me into a fifteen-year-old girl being asked on her first date.
I keep my face neutral.
David hands me a pen and a stack of papers secured on a clipboard.
I fill everything out while the two of them talk about family and hunting spring turkeys while they’re still in season. When I’m finished, I hand the clipboard over and stand.
David stands too and claps me on the arm. “I’ll give these to Sheldon and you’ll be hearing from him in a week, give or take.”
“Just like that?” I ask.
“Yep. Just like that,” Captain says with a confident smile.
“Am I the only one applying from our crew?”
“You’re the only one I asked to apply, Cody. The position’s open to the public on the county website. But I know my crew and this station. I picked you.”
My chest tightens and everything inside me goes momentarily still. I nod, not sure what to say to that. Any of the guys would make a good captain—even Dustin, though things might get a little too footloose with him in charge at times, but he knows when to buckle down and get serious.
Captain picked me. Okay, then.
I say goodbye to the guys on shift and walk out to my truck, a little spring to my step. My chest tightens around a breath I haven’t let out yet. When I shut the door to my truck, I blow it out, long and slow. Then I inhale and let another out.
Okay. I did that. The rest is up to fate.
Well, fate and Captain David. I chuckle softly as I turn the key in the ignition.
I drive to the farm supply, imagining how things will change if I end up in the position. Up until now, I’ve only thought about whether or not I should apply. Now I’m seeing myself behind the desk, making the calls, training the rookie, attending county meetings …
Coming home to Carli and our three kids.
I laugh out loud.
Slow your roll, Lawson.
It’s hard to slow down when I’ve known her my whole life. And now? After spending more time together, holding her in my arms, having heart-to-heart talks? I don’t want to even lightly tap the brake pedal.
I pull into the parking lot and smile widely when I spot an old Ford pickup a few spaces over.
Well, well. Fate is definitely on my side today.
I walk into the store, greet the cashier and a clerk I know and grab a cart. My eyes scan the registers to see if I can find Carli. I walk the length of the store, glancing down each aisle. I’m here for colostrum and electrolytes, but she might be here for anything.
When I reach the aisle that goes straight to bulk orders at the back register, I see her, down at the end, talking to the manager. I slow my stride and walk down the aisle as if I’m browsing. When I come to the end of the aisle, I’m only a few feet away from her.
Carli looks up from her conversation with Audra, and her brows lift. Carli’s smile at me is instantaneous.
“Cody?” She tucks her smile away and glances back at Audra.
“Hey, Audra,” I say. “Hey, Carli.”
“I didn’t know you were … I mean, what are you …” Carli stutters, her eyes going slightly wide.
“McKenna didn’t tell you I was the one running the errands today?” I say, saving Carli from the verbal ditch she’s unintentionally digging.
“No. She didn’t.” She smiles cordially at me. “How have you been?”
“Good,” I say. “I’ve been enjoying the stars this week since the rain passed us by.”
Carli’s blush rises and I almost kick myself for playing around.
Audra's face is a mask of confusion.
“Have you seen the stars lately?” I ask Audra.
“Can’t say I have. I get here pretty early most mornings. By the time the stars are out, I’m heading to bed.”
“I hear that,” I tell her.
Carli pivots so Audra can’t see her face, thins her lips and bugs her eyes out like she’d like to kill me for messing around.
I almost chuckle. I’m not giving anything away.
I am more than likely going to be the subject of some strange speculation in the rumor mill.
Why is Cody Lawson talking about stargazing?
Let ’em talk. As long as they don’t know who I’m stargazing with, I’m good with being the subject of the town tea.
“Well,” I say, looking between Carli and Audra. “It was good seeing you ladies. Hope to see you around soon.”
“Bye, Cody,” Audra says.
“Bye, Cody,” Carli says.
I don’t look at her. I can’t. I’ll give it all away. Just seeing her here was like drinking the first sip of Coke on a summer day where the bubbles go up your nose and down your throat and the cool of the drink satisfies you in a way nothing else will—at least for a minute. Then you just want more.
I load up my cart with everything we need at the ranch and by the time I circle back to the bulk order counter, Carli is long gone.
I’m on my way home when my phone rings.
I smile at her name on my screen.
“Stargazing?”
“Hey, Carli.” My smile widens.
“Don’t Hey, Carli me.” I can hear the smile in her voice.
I chuckle.
“Oh, Cody. Cody Lawson. Your birthday party is coming.” She pauses. “And payback is a bear.”
My smile widens, if that’s even possible. “You wouldn't, Chuck.”
“You caught me off guard back there.”
“Are you mad?” I ask, even though her tone tells me she isn’t.
“I’m not mad. Now I've got time to prepare.”
“I thought you’d be happy to see me,” I tease.
“I’m definitely happy to see you. Anywhere, anytime.” Her voice softens.
“Good. Me too. Really happy to see you—anytime, anywhere. As long as that's settled. Then … bring it, Buckner.”
“Oh, trust me, I will.” She laughs this fake sinister laugh and I laugh along.
I love this feisty side of her. I’m about to tell her as much when my phone rings with another call.
I pull the cell away from my ear to check who it is.
“As much as I love being threatened by you, my dad’s calling on the other line.”
“Sleep with one eye open, Cody,” she says.
“Are you threatening to sneak into my bedroom?”
She laughs. “You’d better answer your dad’s call.”
“Yeah. You’re right. I’ll call you later.”
“Bye, Cody.”
I take my dad’s call, and tell him I’m on the way with the supplies.
Once I’m home, I drop everything off in the barn and head into the house.
Mom and McKenna are at the kitchen table, pictures and pieces of fabric strewn everywhere. McKenna’s laptop is open and they look like they’re determining the fate of Western civilization.
“Hey!” I say, opening the fridge and pouring myself a glass of tea.
“Hey, Cody?” McKenna says.
“Yeah?”
“Settle a decision for us.”
“Is this one of those things where I lose no matter what I say?” I ask, approaching the table.
“Only if you disagree with me,” McKenna says.
“Got it.”
“Or me,” Mom says.
“Ahhh. Just as I thought. Then I say both.”
“You can’t say both,” McKenna says.
I shake my head, sipping my tea. “What exactly am I voting on here?”
“This pink or this one?” She holds up two napkins.
I pluck them out of her hand, walk over to the window and hold them up to the light—this way, that way.
“They’re different, right?” I ask.
“Give me those!” McKenna shouts, smiling. “You’re no use. I’ll ask Luke. He’s not colorblind.”
“One is baby pink and the other is Spanish pink,” Mom explains, her face dead serious.
“I think … baby pink?” I say.
I have no idea which one is baby pink.
“Told you!” McKenna’s fist shoots into the air like she won a contest.
Mom looks at me like I’ve betrayed her.
“Or Spanish?” I say, inching my way toward the living room, walking backward.
“You’re the best brother,” McKenna says with a beaming smile.
“That’s what I’ve always said,” I say.
“Just don’t tell the rest of the guys.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m on my way out to the pasture right now to claim my title: Best Brother.”
I rinse my glass and walk out, kissing the top of McKenna’s head and Mom’s cheek on the way out.
“Either pink will be amazing,” I say. “And no one will care because their eyes will all be on you.”
“Awwww,” my mom and sister say in unison.
On that note, I head out to the pasture to help my brothers with a fence line repair.