7. Zaire
We were silent when we went into the building for me to properly lock up. In my rush to get to her, there were a few doors I didn’t secure. We were back in the quiet garage a few minutes later and walking towards her burgundy Honda CR-V. She reached into her purse and when she came out with her keys it was obvious she was scared. Her hand shook as she walked over to her door.
“Let me drive you home, Nala.”
I don’t know why I expected a fight from her, maybe because that’s the only way she ever approached me, but I was surprised this time because she nodded and allowed me to drive her to her house in Penn Hills about ten minutes away. I pulled into the gravelly driveway that lit up with her flood lights. I turned the car off and turned to see what she wanted me to do. Her eyes saying something I didn’t know her well enough to read. I only knew how to read her passion, her lust, and even her anger. This was different.
“I don’t want to put you out, but would you come in with me… just to look around?”
“Yeah,” I say without thought.
I had wanted to make sure she was going to be okay, but I knew better than to press upon her at a time like now and I didn’t know enough about her family dynamics to know if she had a father, or brothers to call to look in on her. Didn’t matter because she had me.
“Let me help you in. Don’t you dare touch the door,” I added when she reached for the handle. She was still in a state of dissociation. Barely engaging. So much so that she only nodded and let me help her out of her car and into her house using the key she handed me.
Inside I found her house to be inviting. The taupe couch and loveseat looked comfortable and inviting. Her multicolor area rugs looked expensive, along with the vases with pretty flowers in them. It was an open plan so you could see the living and dining rooms from the doorway.
She placed her black leather bag on the sofa table behind her couch and looked at me in awkward silence. Maybe she was unsure about having me here now that she was home.
“You want anything to drink?”
“Maybe water. You should get some too.”
“I will. I’m just now thinking about whether I’m hungry. Are you hungry?”
I knew the shock was wearing off and her body was starting to think about its needs now.
“Not really but if you want to eat, we can eat.”
She nodded slowly and walked into her kitchen. I followed her before leaning back against the wall and watching her.
“You okay?” Her back expanded from her deep breath.
She turned to me and I saw the tears standing like jewels in her pretty eyes force me from my spot and pull her against my chest.
“I was so stupid. I could have gotten myself killed. You too.” Her voice was muffled against my shirt.
“Shhhhhhhh. This is not going to do you any good right now. No one got hurt.”
Touching her hair and then her face, helped to calm my nerves as much to calm hers. Seeing her patient prepared to kill her scared the shit out of me but I had to hold it all together for her because her state of mind was more important than me processing the events. Plus, I was still trying to figure out when I became this man. The one treating her like she was mine when that hadn’t been established yet.
“But they could have.” Her eyes searched mine for answers I didn’t have.
“We have to deal with the facts as they are, Nala.”
Her head fell forward and the absence of her pretty eyes looking into mine made me lift her chin with my finger. I waited for her to focus her attention on me and just like that, I could feel the fear that had her in a grip dissolving and now the lustful tension she had for me started to appear. I tried hard to remain objective and hold fast to my purpose which was to make sure she was okay, not make sure I fucked her, but the war her eyes glazed over with desire made it clear she saw those two things serving one purpose. Still, I ignored it.
“Fact one, you are hard-headed, woman.”
She smiled.
“Fact two, you are alive and well for me to talk about it.”
“I truly appreciate you, Zaire. Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
She leaned up on her toes and wrapped her arms around me, surrounding me with that scent that drove me crazy, offering me her pliant lips. I allowed it because I knew it would bring her some comfort but when she tried deepening the kiss and reaching for my shirt, I knew I had to stop things from going further. Her eyes were hurt and confused, and I felt like an asshole, but it needed to be done. We’d already been at odds for months. If I took advantage of her in this state, she might never forgive me, or worse she’d see it as something unethical and no one needed that.