8. Nala
Iwasn’t expecting Zaire to pull away from me. I thought this was what we both wanted. He put a few feet between us, leaning against my kitchen counter. His eyes were resolute when he spoke.
“I don’t want to take advantage of you being, vulnerable, Nala.”
I didn’t want to hear any of that. I wanted him inside of me. Maybe, okay probably, the near assault pushed me into seeing what was already in my face, but nonetheless we were here and I was very clear on what I wanted. Finally.
“Who says you’d be taking advantage of me, Zaire? I want this. I want you.”
He shook his head vehemently.
“No, Nala. You are scared and it doesn’t take my clinical knowledge to see that. Don’t look at me like that.”
The rejection of a man was not something I was accustomed to. Not that I ever approached one the way I just did with Zaire. In fact I was more likely to be passive and wait for my man, and I hadn’t had one in over a year, to ask me for sex. It wasn’t because of a lack of desire; it was just how I did things and never had a problem. But here and now, I felt more vulnerable than I had in that garage. Maybe he didn’t want me. Maybe he only enjoyed playing with me. Before I flew off the handle I decided to breathe. I had been the one saying no for a long time and he honored that.
Suddenly my face felt flush. I pushed my hair up off my neck and fanned myself with my other hand. He reached around me and grabbed the water I pulled out of the refrigerator and unscrewed the cap before handing it to me.
“Here, drink some of this and calm down. You’ve been through a lot, Nala. You’re still processing it all. Can’t you see?”
I took a long swallow, feeling the cold liquid doing the Lord’s work and cooling me off.
“I feel foolish. First, I almost got myself killed and now I’m being turned down by my coworker ...”
“First of all, I resent that. I’m more than a coworker—I count you as a friend.”
I looked at him for a long moment and he chuckled.
“Okay, a friend that sometimes hates me but a friend, nonetheless. Also, it may have been foolish to stay after Raheem left but let’s be real, he’s not always paying attention. What happened today could have happened during a busy day, any day. Your patient had no idea you were semi-alone.”
That was true. “You’re pretty good at this therapy thing, Zaire.”
“Dr. Booker. Isn’t that how you do me?”
His smirk irked me. I reached out and swatted him and found his bicep to be harder than a rock. Damn.
“Still, Dr. Booker, I’m going to have to get over your rejection.”
“Like I do almost every day.”
“Stop exaggerating.”
“You think I’m playing? I play a move every single day and it’s always, ‘No thank you, Dr. Booker. Go smoke some weed somewhere.’ I’ve been wounded too, Dr. Jackson.”
Even though his words were said in a teasing manner, I could sense something real beneath the words. But he didn’t give me any time to deliberate on them. He wanted to address my vulnerability.
“It’s never a bad thing to allow ourselves to experience real true emotions no matter how it’ll make us feel later. You being vulnerable is never a bad thing unless you’re with someone willing to take advantage of you in that state.”
“I’m happy you didn’t want that.”
“Never.”
“But now I’m not sure I can even stand to be around you.”
“Why is that?”
“You rejected me, and my heart is wounded.”
“Your heart?”
His eyes watched mine carefully.
“It’s an expression.”
He nodded slowly and I wondered if the pounding of my heart was as loud to him as it was to me. I had slipped up and let him know he was in my heart some kind of way. Big mistake.
“I think you should get rest.”
I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and nodded.
“Yeah. My nerves are shot to shit though so it may be a long time before I actually drift off to sleep.”
“I’ll stay the night.”
My breath hitched. “Didn’t you just say—,” I started.
“On the couch. Just to make sure you feel safe.”
“That isn’t necessary, Zaire. Besides, I’m sure you have somewhere to be.”
“I don’t. But if you have someone else to call over—,” his words trailed off.
“I don’t.”
I could have sworn I saw him release a deep breath, but I couldn’t be sure, so I let it go.
For the next half hour, we prepared my apartment for him to stay over. Barely speaking, and avoiding each other’s eyes seemed the safest thing to do when my body was crying out for me to make a move, him to make a move, someone to end this misery. But we made it through with setting him up on my couch which we now stood in front of. Looking down at the three-seat sofa with the sheet and blanket neatly arranged on it, I looked back up at him and pointed out the obvious.
“You really should let me take the couch. This is going to be worse than a tight fit, Zaire.”
“I’m not here to worry about me. I’ll be okay. You get rest, Nala. I’ll see you in the morning.”
His voice and eyes were sure and unyielding, and it only made me desire him more that he was willing to endure a sure-to-be uncomfortable night just to look out for me.
I nodded and headed back to the bathroom, having agreed that I would shower first. My soul wished for me to take my time in there, but all too aware that he wouldn’t be able to clean and rest until I was away in my bedroom, which had me scrubbing vigorously and rinsing off in record time and yelling out. “I’m out.” On my way to my bedroom. I didn’t wait for his response and rushed to get my door closed. I didn’t need to see his chest, arms, back nothing. That would remove the last bit of control I managed to have.
I had just finished putting my body butter on and sliding under the covers naked when I heard the shower spray come on. Instantly I pictured the water cascading over his dark chocolate brown muscular frame, and down to that tight round ass I held when he kissed me a month ago, before falling to his long strong thighs. Not to mention the part of him my cat yearned for. I closed my eyes and without thought, moved my hand down between my thick thighs and found the warmth waiting for me. My fingers tentatively explored the thatch of wiry hair there, patting the triangle before sliding down in between my wet slit and opening myself up to find my feelings for him were already seeping out onto my sheets. My finger was able to glide around the folds of my body with ease, taking special care of my engorged clit. It rolled beneath my finger, sending bolts of pleasure throughout my torso. Behind my closed lids, I could see flashes of his strong arm around me while our lips moved around each other. Each visual deepened my fantasy, making my movements beneath the sheets more hurried.
It was hot all of a sudden so I kicked away the comforter so he could move in between my hips and enter me bringing a sound of deep approval up from his chest. His rumble made me slip two fingers inside of me and gently yank them up and down, bringing contact with my clit before dipping back deeper into my gushing pussy. The tension built inside my body and coiled when thoughts of my thighs wrapped tightly around his waist surfaced combined with the sound of wetness sloshing with each finger pump, entered into the vision. His thrusts inside of me came hard and fast after that, driving me crazy, bringing me to the brink of madness as his dick hit every wall of my tight imagination. I used my feet to press into his back and pull my hips back and forth into his pumps forcing a loud growl from his throat that vibrated throughout my entire body. It was perfect. So perfect my body started to tighten, and my mouth formed an O. I struggled to keep my moans to myself because I was caught up in a torrential storm, and my body, long denied, was begging to release all the pent-up tension. Before I knew it, the wave of passion and pleasure exploded at my fingertips and my throat released a wail of relief as my body convulsed on top of the sheets.
“Nala!”
Before I could comprehend what was happening, a naked Zaire with a fat meaty dick nearly broke the door off the hinges in his attempt to get to me. He was standing over me before I could pull my covers up over my exposed breasts. And even worse my hand still in between my lips. I could see the moment it dawned on him what he had stumbled upon.