Chapter 21 Lucy
“Ican’t,” I utter, and watch as his face falls just slightly. I feel like I just made a huge mistake, but I’ve done this dance before and it burned me. No matter how much I may want it, I have to be careful.
Reese is a handsome man, there’s no denying the physical reaction I have toward him.
I hate turning him down, it feels wrong as I do it.
My own heart leapt when he asked, and that’s why I had to tell him no.
The fear of getting it wrong again, of falling for another person that could be lying about who they are… I can’t take it.
It’s not his fault, but I just don’t want to explain it to him.
He seemed visibly disappointed, but he just gave me a small smile and an understanding nod.
I ducked out not long after he left since my booth was pretty picked clean, and anything left could be bought via the honor system.
Plus knowing Indy, she’ll be wanting to know what happened since she couldn’t hear.
Brent showing up this morning put a damper on the whole day, I know I need to be more forward telling him that I’m not interested. Obviously the hints aren’t enough.
Watching Reese body block him from coming around to my side of my booth made my stomach flutter. No one’s ever protected me like that. Spencer’s always been around, but never during a time I can recall like that.
Maybe it’s too soon, but there’s something about Reese Walker that makes me feel alive again, and that’s a scary as fuck feeling.
Pulling into the drive, I pass my house and head to Spencer’s. I need to know what Brent meant about Jarrett pressing charges, and what the plan is for Colt. He’s a good kid, and kids get into fights. The front door opens, and Spencer walks out with Heath on his heels.
“Hey Loo,” Spence says, pulling me into a hug the second I step out of the truck. “I guess you’re here about the mess with Colt, huh?”
He can always read me, so I only nod.
Sighing, Heath grabs his arm. The simple act of letting him know he’s there isn’t lost on me. Spence smiles, and places his hand over top of Heath’s. The gesture is so warm, and God I want someone to look at me like they look at each other.
Who am I kidding, I want Reese to look at me like that. If only my fears wouldn’t hold me back.
“Is that the only thing Lucy?” Heath asks, pulling me out of my brain.
I smile and nod, letting them walk me onto the porch. The view is amazing, up further than my house he’s got a view of my roof, and the rolling fields beyond. I can see the tops of my lavender shifting in the breeze.
Summer’s can get hot in Goldspur Ridge, so I’m enjoying the mild weather before it turns in the coming weeks.
“Jarrett decided to press charges,” Spence starts, “I don’t know what pushed him, but the Sheriff called him Thursday to tell him what’s going to happen.”
“I don’t understand, Colt said they both were arguin’ and they fought, why would he press charges, what does he think he’s gonna get out of this?”
Heath’s the first to speak after a long silence. “Well, I told–”
“No.” Spencer cuts him off. “That’s not somethin’ we’re gonna worry her with.”
“Excuse me?” I ask, sitting down on the rocker beside the swing they’re sitting on. “Why would you think what Heath says would worry me, and who the hell do you think you are choosin’ what not to tell me?”
He sighs, great and loud which makes me think they’ve had this conversation more than once.
“Heath thinks Jarrett’s tryin’ to get back at you, by… hurtin’ Briar,” he says, holding up his hands and reaching for mine. “He won’t touch her, Jarrett may be an asshole, but he’s not evil.”
“What does he need to get back at me for? I didn’t do anythin’ to him.” Wracking my brain, I think back to anytime I’d dealt with him when Levi was alive. Nothing comes to mind, I hardly even spoke two words to him.
“He blames you for turnin’ your back on Levi after he died, and for somethin’ you may have said. Lucy, you were a wreck over the holidays,” Heath murmurs the last part with a sad smile.
I know I was in rough shape, it’s why I cleaned my act up. Briar cried the night Spence came to pick me up off The Raven’s floor. Seeing her tears over my actions… It broke something in me.
“Does Briar know this theory?” I whisper.
They look at each other and I can tell what passes between them, apprehension.
“She’s aware, but she doesn’t agree with us,” Spence says. “Briar grew up with those boys, she thinks this runs deeper since they used to be best friends.”
I’m not sure what to say, if there’s anything to say at all.
“So what do we do?” I ask, feeling lost.
Heath looks at me with nothing but affection as he says, “We support Colt. That’s all we can do.”
“So… Reese asked me out to dinner,” I blurt, needing to tell someone impartial, and Spence is that guy. Heath however… he jumps out of his seat and pulls me up with him. Spinning us around on the porch like a couple of teenagers, he hollers.
“You said yes, right?”
Looking over his shoulder I can see Spencer’s waiting for my answer as well, thought not as enthusiastically as Heath. “I–I turned him down.”
“Why?” Heath pushes me away, holding my shoulders and bending down to stare into my face. “He’s gorgeous!”
I can’t help the giggle that bubbles up my throat. “He is,” I agree. That, I can’t discredit.
“You don’t want to make the same mistake again, that’s why,” Spencer’s voice, though softly spoken, carries over the porch. Looking down at my sandals, and then back up into his eyes with tears in mine, I nod.
“Oh, Lucy,” Heath sighs, “you deserve happiness, fuck what anyone else thinks.”
His hands fall away from my shoulders and after a minute he walks inside, leaving my brother and me to talk. “Come on,” he says, motioning me over to the swing.
I do as he asks, curling my body onto the swing and resting my head on his shoulder.
He swings us gently with light taps of his boots for a while before he says anything, leaving the two of us in near silence.
It’s too early for the crickets and the frogs to be out, so we listen as the long grass swishes in the summer breeze.
“I’m not exactly the best person to be giving dating advice, especially given the way Heath and I worked out…”
I choke on a laugh but he continues.
“But,” he eyes me, “I wouldn’t have the life that I have now if Mawmaw wouldn’t have meddled her way into it. So I guess that’s my job now.”
“I can’t go back down that road, Spence. Especially not with him.”
My stomach bunches just thinking about it, what if he’s just as bad as his brother? Or worse?
“You can circle all the ‘what if’s’ around in your head for the rest of your life, but I know you. You want a partner, someone to adore you and someone you can fuss over.”
His words picked the fears straight out of my brain, and logically I know he’s right. Emotionally though, I’m scared, terrified actually.
“Lucy, you’re talented, funny and you’ve got enough love in your heart for ages. Let someone else earn that love, okay?” He stands so he can look down at me, so he can see my face when he says, “Our parents would want that for you.”
It’s the subtle way he smiles, and his ability to make murky things clear. That’s his gift, and I’m thankful for him.
“What if–”
“No, Loo,” he cuts me off with a shake of his head. “You like him, and he’s already told you how he felt about Levi. That alone should earn him enough credit for one date.”
I consider his words and nod, gripping the seat on each side of my legs as I smile.
“But, how old is this guy anyway?” Spencer jabs, pulling me up from the swing and wrapping me up in his arms.
“Hmmm… Not too old I don’t think,” I smirk.
We laugh and hug, standing there with my brother’s words ringing in my head, I think to myself… I’m going to give Reese a chance.