Chapter 22 Reese
Itold myself I’d give her space, and I will, just not enough for her to forget me.
After Lucy said no to my dinner date, I left the market without a fuss.
I’ll wear her down, and show her I deserve her trust, I’ve got time.
I head to my truck and decide to go see Mama.
If she knows about Jarrett and his ridiculous scheme, I need to know his goal.
Yates answers the door this time, his face is longer, color sallow and alarm bells ring in my head as he greets me. “Hey, my boy.”
“Yates, are you alright?” I ask, taking his outstretched hand and pulling him in for a hug. He doesn’t answer right away, instead he ushers me inside. Mama’s sitting at the small table in the kitchen head hanging between her elbows.
“Reese,” she says, looking up and scraping the chair across the linoleum to stand. Her face is drawn, tears mark her cheeks and I hug her tight. “Hi, honey.”
“Mama, what’s got you down?” I’m worried I might not want to know the answer. Looking between the two of them, Mama offers Yates a small smile and fresh tears begin to fall down her face as she sits back down.
Yates motions to one of the chairs for me to take a seat, and sits himself down, Mama holds his hand on top of the table, as if offering her support and my stomach drops.
“Reese, I–I’m sick, son,” Yates says plainly, but I can tell by the catch in his voice he’s upset, scared even. “Cancer.”
“What?” I ask, incredulous. I just saw him a couple days ago and he looked fine, a little more worn down sure, but with everything happening with Jarrett I just assumed it was stress. “But–how? This doesn’t just–I don’t understand."
He holds up a hand, swallows and says, “I’ve come to terms with it, and so has your mother.”
All the scenarios I can think of vanish from my mind. Treatment, therapy, something, anything to save the life of the man who didn’t have to raise me, but did anyway, and loved me like his own.
“Okay, we can take turns taking you to your appointments, and I can find a way to help with the cost. We can get through this.”
“Oh Reese,” Mama sobs.
“There’s no use in treatment,” he says, squeezing Mama’s hand.
“We’ve talked to the doctors over the past couple of months since we found out, and my body just won’t be able to handle it.
” He chuckles, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye and smiles.
“Guess this old bag of bones has had a good run.”
My chest seizes, throat tightens, and I choke on the words that I can’t get my mouth to say. His hand covers one of mine and he smiles, brighter than I’ve ever seen him smile.
“Raising you is one of my proudest achievements, and I want you to know, I love you son. You’re a Walker, don’t let anyone take that from you.”
Tears burn hot in the back of my throat and I stand, running my tongue over my teeth and turning away from them.
“You can’t make deathbed declarations, Yates. We still have time,” my breath gets stuck in my chest and I have to take a double breath as tears well in my eyes and fall down my cheeks.
“Reese,” he sighs, standing and bringing my head into his frail shoulder. “I fear we don’t, and I need you to know without a doubt, that you are my son before I go.”
The tears won’t stop now as his words sink in, the finality in them, and how much I can feel he fucking means the words.
Shaking my head, I look up at my mother who’s got tears rolling down her cheeks, watching the two of us, and holding her hand over her mouth as she silently cries.
“I love you too, Yates,” I choke out, barely able to take the pain in my chest. “ I love you so much.” Everything feels too final, too painful and I have this overwhelming urge to try and fix it.
I want to make Yates do the treatments, and fight to stay with us, but I won’t.
He deserves to live the rest of his life on his terms, so I sit back down and listen as he tells me all the things he wants taken care of once he’s gone.
Ikiss my mother goodbye, hug Yates tight, and promise I’ll call once I get home. I have to tell Jarrett what’s happening, and this isn’t a phone call conversation.
Driving through town, I contemplate stopping by the diner, just to see her.
Only, I think better of it. I’m not in the headspace to talk to her right now, and I don’t want to fuck it up.
She deserves better than me piling my shit on her before we’ve even had the chance to really know each other.
It doesn’t make me want her company, and her comfort, any less.
So instead I drive home in silence, going over all the things Mama and Yates said. Their words scramble through my head and I can’t stop the tears that pool in my eyes. The closer I get to the ranch the more dread sits in the pit of my stomach.
How do I tell Jarrett his Dad is dying?
I may not be the perfect brother, and Jarrett may be the biggest pain in my ass, but he deserves the truth.
I know I’ve done a good job separating my family shit and the ranch by the way everything here feels entirely detached from what I’ve just gone through. Still, everything feels different now.
Parking the truck up at my house, I head inside to find Jarrett. I don’t expect him to be working especially since I wasn’t here to make sure of it.
When the house turns up empty, I step out onto the front porch to find Cap running my way. Bending to a knee, I meet his excited tail wag and scratch him behind the ears. When I wrap him up tight, he sits and tilts his head, watching me as if to ask what’s wrong.
His tongue darts out and catches a lone tear that falls without permission, and I’m glad to be alone. I need to be strong for Jarrett, this hurts me but it’s going to decimate him.
“Thanks, boy.”
We walk side by side down to the horse arena, it’s the last place I gave Jarrett instructions to be. Trainees move about the space, some on horseback, others on feed duty. Jarrett’s nowhere to be found, figures.
A few hello’s are tossed around, as I head out toward the gym where Mason should be with the last group of youngins for the day.
Checking my watch I hustle over, he should be wrapping up.
Mason eyes me at the door, nodding his head toward the back.
Shock filters through me, Jarrett’s actually doing what Mason’s teaching, and by the sweat covering his undershirt, I’d say he’s done the whole lesson.
Walking over to him, I tap his shoulder and crook my finger for him to follow. His eyes snap to mine and he scoops his button up from where he discarded it on the floor. He trudges after me, breaths labored and sweat rolling down his forehead.
“What do you want now?” He mumbles as we continue on toward the house. “Look, I’ve done everythin’ you asked me to do today. Mason rode my ass harder than anyone, which I’m sure I have you to thank for that–”
“This isn’t about that,” I answer, trying my damnedest to be softer with him. “And I’d rather not talk about it until we’re at the house.”
He stops, I can hear the change in footsteps across the dirt. “Is this about Colt?” He snaps, hands balled into fists when I turn to look him over.
“It’s not, but we should talk about that too.” I’m glad he reminded me, that’s the whole reason I went to Mama’s.
“Look big brother,” he spits, as if the words are made of poison. “I’m eighteen, so I don’t have to talk to you about shit.”
This motherfucker needs to be taken down a peg. Stepping up into his space, I make sure to look down at him when I snarl, “I don’t give a damn how grown you think you are, you’re nothin’ more than a spoiled kid who thinks the world owes him a favor, and you’re about to get a rude awakening.”
His whole face hardens as we stand there locked in a battle of wills that neither of us are willing to back down from.
“Hey Boss Man!” Lin says trying to get my attention, but I’m so sick of Jarrett and his shit. “You’re scarin’ the littles!”
Her words pull me back to where I am, and I step back. The space between us is thick with animosity, and we both need to take a minute.
“Go to the house and stay there, I’ll be there in a minute.”