Chapter 23 Lucy
I’m not sure what the hell I’m waiting on. Asking my dead ex-boyfriends parents about another one of their sons? The thought makes my stomach fill with bile. I’m an idiot, I shouldn’t have come out here.
But I can’t put the truck in drive, can’t force myself to put the gas pedal down and drive away. I’m stuck, like forgotten bubblegum on the sidewalk.
I look like a creeper sitting at the end of their driveway, and yet I haven’t moved for ten minutes. I’ve just been sitting here and watching the door like a crazy person. Still, something inside of me removes the key from the ignition and steps out.
The front door opens, and his mother’s standing there. I can’t see her face well enough to know what she’s thinking, or if she’s wondering what the hell I’m doing here after all this time. Lifting her hand, she waves, motioning me to the door.
“C’mon inside Lucy,” she hollers loud enough I can hear her from here. I guess there’s no backing out now.
Approaching the house, my feet crunch over the gravel and with every step my belly turns to lead. I shouldn’t be here, my brain screams that I should turn around and save myself the embarrassment of this conversation, but something else is pushing me forward.
“Lucy,” Mrs. Walker says with a hint of reverence in her voice, unless my brain’s playing tricks on me. “I’m happy to see you.”
“You are?” The comment slips out before I can gobble it back down. “I mean–“
She laughs, cutting me off and wrapping her arms around me in a hug. “I am. You look well.”
“Thanks, you do too,” I offer, though I don’t have much to go on since this is probably only the fifth or sixth time I’ve ever talked to her. Not everyone in this small town knows each other, and until I was with Levi I had never said more than a simple howdy to any of the Walkers.
“Well come on,” she chuckles, “let’s go inside and grab some lemonade, then we can sit on the back porch.”
I haven’t told her why I’m here, so surprise rushes through me at an alarming rate. Before I make it to the back Mrs. Walker stops and turns to look at me. “I take it you’re probably here to ask about Reese? Don’t be shy, honey.”
Instead of feeling worse, like I thought I would, I feel a little relief. Following her once again toward the kitchen, I watch her flit about as she hums under her breath. Once she’s satisfied with her tray of snacks she winks. “Come with me, hun.”
I do, out onto the back deck of their house where she’s got an incredible view of the mountain ridge. Her garden’s growing, green stems of varying degrees pop out of the earth and vines from dead plants hang over an arch off to the side.
She lets me look, not bothering to speak as she pours two glasses of lemonade from the pitcher she brought out, and places one on the small table she set the tray on.
There are four seats surrounding the little table, wicker and peeling white paint.
Taking the one opposite her, I gratefully sip the tangy liquid and start, “Mrs. Walker, I know this is unorthodox, and I’m sorry to just show–”
“It’s Callie, and don’t be sorry at all, I could use some company every now and again.” She cuts my tirade off before I had any steam, and I’ve never been more grateful to a near stranger in my life.
A small smile forms and I look down at the glass in my lap.
“Callie,” I start over, “I know this is probably weird or uncomfortable for you, and I want you to know I had no intentions of seeing Reese as anything other than Levi’s older brother.
” Words start spewing out of my mouth and I’m worried they’ll never stop.
Babbling isn’t a good look. “It’s just that he’s… ”
She places her hand on my knee, stilling it from my nervous bouncing.
“Lucy, I understand not everything in life works out in neat little bows. You had a season with Levi, and I truly believe you made him happy, but he had his own demons to deal with. As a mother, you would think I’d have been able to tell.
To sense that somethin’ was off in him,” she sighs and takes a swig.
“That’s my cross to bear, as I’m sure you feel you have your own. ”
I nod, bewildered that she’s so… honest. “I worry that people might talk, you know, if Reese and I–But what I care about most is your opinion.”
“Why’s that?” She asks, looking at me with a small smile tilting her lips.
“Well, because they’re your sons. The awkward part there being the plural.”
“No one deserves to have an opinion on somethin’ they aren’t directly involved in. Plus, Reese is a grown man, he doesn’t need my approval. Just like you don’t need my approval.”
She’s not wrong, I’m a grown woman, I don’t need her approval. So maybe that’s not what I’m after, maybe I’m searching for absolvement.
Taking a minute to gather my thoughts, I look back at her, “You wouldn’t be upset if Reese and I went out on a date?”
She laughs, it’s uniquely her in a way I can’t explain. “Oh Lucy, dear. I think you’re a wonderful woman. I know we haven’t had much time to get to know each other, but your reputation ‘round here is nothin’ short of glowin’.”
I don’t know what to say, her honesty makes me wonder if I hit my head and am dreaming this up. If I’m slumped over my steering wheel in front of their house passed out, and dreaming of a conversation I never thought I’d have.
She reaches out and puts her hand on top of mine that I hadn’t noticed was picking at my chair. “As far as I’m concerned, Reese deserves to have some sunshine in his life, and you’ve earned the happiness I know he can give you.”
“I’m gettin’ ahead of myself,” forcing a small laugh, I shake my head. “I don’t know if Reese and I will be anythin’ at all, I guess I just wanted to make sure it wouldn’t bother you or Mr. Walker.”
She squeezes my knee and sits back in her chair, “Reese isn’t the kind of man to ask a woman on a date willy-nilly.
To be frank, I’m not sure he’s ever been serious about anyone.
” She looks out toward the mountains and starts again, “He’s never been an open book, and he doesn’t trust, or open up easily.
That’s mostly my fault, and I’m not tellin’ you all this to cloud your opinion on the matter.
But, if he asked you on a date, he meant it.
He’s a man of intention, and once he’s got his mind set on somethin’ he goes after it with everythin’ he’s got. ”
Her words give me more perspective, something to cling to when I’m worried about things that shouldn’t matter. Like how my dating life may or may not impact other people.
“Well, in that case, you wouldn’t happen to know the best way to get ahold of Reese, would you?” I smile, lips growing wider when she looks at me with a grin and pulls out a folded piece of paper.
Handing me the paper, she covers my hand with hers, “The only thing I ask, is please allow him to make mistakes. He’s going to mess somethin’ up at some point, it’s what we do. We’re human, and hearts are fickle things, give him some grace. Just not too much, okay?”
Her eyes sparkle with emotion as we say our goodbyes.
“I’ve got to head on,” I tell her, “but Callie, it was nice sittin’ here with you.”
She smiles wide, and nods, “You too, Lucy.”