Chapter 13
Thirteen
When Jordan invited me on a date night after practice, I certainly didn’t think that would entail sitting in the living room of the basketball house while he played NBA Street on the PlayStation with two of his teammates.
“We have a fourth controller if you want to play, Shay,” one of his roommates offers.
A year ago, I would’ve accepted, but tonight, I just can’t get the question out of my head. One that’s been on repeat any time I’m with Jordan as of late.
Why am I here?
Why am I so desperate to hang on to something that I don’t even know if I want anymore? Is it the fear of the unknown with Maverick and all these big feelings he’s evoking? Especially after he held me in my room the other night.
I’d never want you not to know your worth. You should be treated like the absolute perfection you are.
“I’m good,” I mumble, stuffing my mouth full of the last bite of pizza.
My phone lights up beside my plate. “Hey, Mama,” I answer and walk back toward Jordan’s room so I can hear her over the noise of the video game.
“Shay, where are you?” The panic in her voice grips my throat like a vise. “Shay, are you there?”
“What’s wrong?” I finally push out.
“Joey… He’s safe now. But he’s been in an accident. We are headed to Ridge Crest.”
Fear I’ve never felt before washes over me. “What happened?” I screech, my chest feeling tight.
“He snuck out and drove my car. Shay, he… He ran it into a tree.” My mom’s whaling cries have tears pouring from my eyes as I try to remember where my keys are so I can get to them, but I’m not thinking straight. I’m in shock.
“But he’s okay, right?”
“Yes, they think he broke his leg, and they aren’t sure what else.”
Joey.
“How did I let this happen?” my mom cries, and I hear my dad in the background trying to soothe her.
I swallow back my nerves, knowing my mom needs me to be strong in this moment. “He’s going to be okay, Mama. I’ll be there soon. I love y’all.”
“Love you, baby. Please be careful, Shay.”
My mind is a muddled mess as I make my way back out to the living room area, spotting my keys on the island beside the pizza.
“Everything alright?” Jordan asks, concern marring his face as he pauses the game.
“Joey’s been in an accident.” I can barely push the words past my lips without crying.
“Shit, Shay. Is he okay?” Jordan stands, making his way in front of me.
“Yes, but he has some major injuries. I’m going to head to Ridge Crest Hospital now.”
He gently rubs the sides of my arms, and the gesture feels reassuring, but it’s not the touch I want right now. There’s only one person I know who can make me feel better, and that’s because I know how much he loves Joey too.
“Call me as soon as you know something,” Jordan says, placing a kiss on my cheek.
I don’t even respond; I just walk right out the first door and, of course, he doesn’t even attempt to come after me. Probably not even realizing I’m hurt.
Not that I wanted him to go, but that right there was the nail in the coffin. The fact he doesn’t even care enough about me or the most important person in my life to offer to at least drive me just blows my mind.
There’s nothing about those actions that says he loves me, and it couldn’t be clearer now.
I glance toward The Wolves Den next door and see Mav’s Tahoe in the driveway. For a split second, I consider knocking and asking Maverick to take me.
Shit, I wouldn’t even need to ask him. The minute he saw my face, he’d know what I need because that’s who he is.
But I decide against it, not wanting the situation to bring up old wounds for him involving his sister.
Once Joey’s more stable, I’ll make sure Joey calls him so he can hear his voice first, and then we can update him.
I jump in my car, take a deep breath, and remind myself he’s in much more capable hands than my own.
During the fifteen-minute car ride there, I distract myself with thoughts of Jordan and his lack of genuine care for me.
By the time I pull up at the hospital, I know Jordan and I are officially done.
If you care about me–which is questionable in itself–then you care about my baby brother, or you can kick rocks.
Point. Blank. Period.
“He’s stable, so they’re prepping him for surgery.
They did a CT scan on him as soon as we got here, and he didn’t have any head trauma.
But his right leg is broken in two places.
They’ll move us up to the surgical waiting room as soon as they take him to the OR,” my dad says, filling me in from a private space we found in the emergency department waiting room.
They only allowed two people back to see Joey, so I’ve been sitting out here, waiting for an update since I arrived.
“He was in a lot of pain, so he was a little doped up, but his first concern about his leg was you and him not being able to go ride horses with Maverick. He wanted to call Maverick,” my mom says, smiling. I can tell she’s much calmer now after seeing him, and that instantly eases my concerns.
I smile through the tears because, of course, his favorite person was his first thought.
Hugging both of my parents, I hold on tight. “I’m so glad he’s okay.”
Just the thought of losing him hurts something inside of me I can’t explain. Thoughts of what it must have been like for Maverick to lose his baby sister have the tears welling up again as I bury my head into my dad’s strong chest. Something I haven’t done in years.
“He’s okay, honey, he’s okay.”
A nurse comes in to let us know we can move to the recovery room waiting area, where they’ll update us throughout his surgery. When we follow her out of the small alcove, I see a familiar pair of brown eyes.
Eyes that look frantic and worried as he searches our faces. I immediately run to him, wanting to soothe him.
He opens his arms to embrace me. “He’s okay,” I say, immediately taking a comforting inhale of the cinnamon scent that lingers on him.
“Your mom called and said he was asking for me. I came right away.” His voice is husky with fear.
My mom and dad come over to greet him. “Thank you, Maverick. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just knew how much he’d want to see you when he woke up, and I thought Shay could use a friend, too.”
“Don’t apologize. I would’ve been upset if you hadn’t called me. I want to be here,” he says, now pulling my mom into a hug.
“Thank you, Son,” my dad says, giving him a hug with a pat on the back. Maverick may be one of his best players, but I see the look on my dad’s face when he accepts that his captain is also one of the best guys around.
The nurse quietly interrupts our moment. “I don’t mean to rush you all, but I want to make sure we get you up to the surgery waiting area for your updates.”
We nod and follow behind her.
“Thank you, Maverick,” I whisper from where we are in the back of the group.
He takes my hand in his. “Don’t thank me… I wish you called me sooner. I saw your car at the basketball house earlier. You know I would’ve driven you here.”
And there he is.
The man I deserve.
I push those thoughts aside and respond, “I didn’t want it to be triggering for you.”
He swallows thickly, taking in what I’m saying to him before he speaks. “Thank you for considering that. But just know, when it comes to you, I’m always here.”
“I’m here for you too, Maverick.” I smile at him, reveling in my hand still being interlocked with his.
We find a corner spot in the waiting area. An attendant comes over, offers us warm blankets, and tells us there’s a coffee station around the large wall behind where we’re sitting.
Once we’re settled in, I ask, “So what made Joey all of a sudden want to drive?” Joey isn’t a sneaky kid, so it seems out of character for him.
Mom rubs her hands over her face. “I think it’s just that every kid in the neighborhood seems to have recently gotten their license or a car.
And he just wasn’t wrapping his head around the fact that even though he’s sixteen, Dad and I don’t think he’s quite ready for his license.
We want to make sure he feels very comfortable and safe behind the wheel first. He didn’t like that answer and, unbeknownst to me, decided to take my car out for a spin. ”
Dad interjects, “He apologized to your mom when we saw him earlier and said he understands what she means now. He said he wanted to prove to us he could drive, so that’s why he did it behind her back the way he did.”
“Moore family,” sounds from the double doors of the OR area, and we all perk up. A woman in blue scrubs and a matching blue cap signals that she’ll come to us.
“Hey there. I’m Dr. Oleander, the anesthesiologist. I believe you all met my intern in the emergency department.” The doctor shakes my parents' hands and asks, “Is it okay to speak freely here?”
“Yes.” My dad nods.
“Okay, Joey’s doing great. We just finished putting him to sleep. As you know, his leg is broken in two places, so we’re looking at several more hours in the OR, and then we’ll bring him to recovery and, hopefully, another hour after that, he’ll be awake enough for you all to see him.”
“Thank you so much,” my mom says, tears welling in her eyes again.
“Of course, and we’ll give you another update after surgery. I’m sure the surgical team will also be out to update as the procedure progresses.” She smiles politely as we thank her, then she heads back into the OR.
My parents let out matching sighs of relief that things are going well, and my dad takes my mom’s hand. “Honey, I want you to eat a little something. Why don’t we let Shay and Beauty stay here, and I’ll walk you down to the café?”
My mom starts to protest, but my dad shakes his head. “He needs you strong, not passing out from lack of food or water.”
“Fine,” she huffs and looks toward me. “If anyone comes out again, you call us immediately.
“I will, Mama,” I say, giving her a reassuring smile.
“Okay, do either of you need any food?”
“I already ate,” I say, at the same time Maverick says, “No, ma'am, I had dinner before you called.”
Almost like that comment reminded him of something, he tugs out his phone, and I can’t help but look at the screen.
Peyton
Is Joey okay? How’s Shay?
A mixture of emotions runs through me. Was he with her? Why did he tell her? My more rational side realizes how kind it is of her to check on us either way.
Maverick must notice me looking. “Sorry, I wasn’t purposefully telling your business, but when your mom called, I was with Peyton, so I kind of had to share before I left.”
There’s that same gut punch I felt the other night when he walked away with her at the party.
“It’s okay. I get it.”
So, she must have been with him at The Wolves Den, since his Tahoe was there.
Gosh, why does that hurt so bad? I mean, for heaven’s sake, Shay, he saw your car at Jordan’s today…
It’s not like he knows all these feelings that are suddenly at the forefront of your mind, and that you haven’t stopped thinking about the other night in your room since it happened.
Unable to help myself, I ask, “Were you giving a personal Howler interview?”
He chuckles. “No.” He seems to think about his response for a beat before he says, “We’ve been hanging out some this summer after being partners in that broadcasting class I’m taking. “
“Oh cool,” I say, trying to sound just that… Cool as a cucumber. But really, my stomach is twisting with jealousy and regret.
His words from the other night repeat.
If only I could rewind time, I never would’ve given him the chance with you. Because I’ve been paying for my regrets for the past three years watching you loving him.
Why does it suddenly feel like the roles are about to be reversed?
Should I tell him what I’ve been feeling? Is that fair to him? To her?
First things first, I have to break up with Jordan.