Chapter Twenty-One
Twenty-One
How in the hell am I supposed to concentrate when my head is all over the place? I wish more than anything that I didn’t have these heavy thoughts weighing on me.
To think the girl I’ve been obsessed with all this time has finally admitted that she wants me too. I always knew she felt something more toward me, and hearing her confirm it had my heart skipping a beat.
But what about Peyton?
The one who gave me the desire to seek out more…to want more.
Releasing a calming breath, I exit my SUV and ring her doorbell. I fidget with the button at my collar while I wait for her to come down. Feels like I’m being strangled, literally and figuratively. Did Nola do this to me on purpose by insisting I wear a dress shirt?
All thoughts escape me when Peyton opens the door.
My eyes roam over her as she stands in the doorway.
Her brunette hair is pulled into a sleek ponytail, accentuating her big brown eyes.
She’s wearing more makeup than I usually see her in, and my stomach does a flip while I take in her hip-hugging pink dress.
“You look stunning,” I tell her before my staring can be considered creepy.
A familiar blush creeps onto her cheeks, and I smile before leaning down and placing a kiss on her cheek.
“Loving the pink,” I say as I take in her dress once more.
She smiles at me, a playfulness in her gaze. “On Saturdays, we wear pink.”
“I see what you did there,” I chuckle, realizing she has found a way to throw in yet another movie quote, but with a twist.
She laughs, and the sound has my nerves settling ever so slightly.
I make it a point to do all the gentlemanly things. I open her door when we get to my Tahoe. I check that she’s buckled in before I start driving, and I listen intently while she talks animatedly about her day.
When we arrive at the restaurant, I hop out and walk over to the passenger side to open the door for her and help her out.
“Are you ready?” I ask as I hold out my elbow for her.
She stands there eyeing me for a beat before lacing her arm through mine. “Lead the way, Mr. Leblanc.”
I can't help but wonder if there’s more meaning to her words, but it’s probably all in my head. There’s no way she’d know the mental turmoil I'm in, so I shake it off.
Regardless of how I feel, Peyton deserves my full attention tonight, and that’s precisely what I intend on giving her. I’ve been looking forward to this night all week, and I'm going to make sure she has a good time.
I think I've officially shaken off my slump by the time our waitress delivers our food. We both thank her as we stare at the giant bowls of pasta we ordered.
“We probably could’ve just shared one. This has got to be one of the biggest portions of manicotti I’ve ever seen,” Peyton shares with a light laugh while grabbing the spoon from the cheese to sprinkle over her dish.
“Nah, I'm glad we got both. I love their manicotti and was going to order it, but since you did, I decided to try the shrimp Alfredo instead. Figured you’d let me share a bit of yours,” I say with a wink.
“What makes you think I'm going to share?” Peyton teases and playfully lifts her hand to defend her plate.
I place my hand over my heart, as if her words wound me. “To think I was going to share my dish with you, Lady and the Tramp-style.”
She sputters out her sip of wine at that, and we both laugh.
“I'm serious. That’s why I asked for the pasta to be fettuccine.”
“Mmm, I'm calling bullshit on that one. You were eyeing that dish as soon as you saw it being delivered to that table over there. I saw the way you were staring at it.”
I shrug my shoulders. She caught me. “Guess you’ll never know then.”
“You’re ridiculous sometimes, do you know that?”
I twirl my fork in my fettuccine and take a big bite, exaggerating the slurping of the loose noodles. I moan at the taste. “Wow, this might even be better than my Gigi’s,” I confess as I twirl my next bite.
“That good, huh?”
“Mmmhmm,” I say, chewing another bite.
“Mine’s delicious too. I’ve never been here before, but I’ll definitely come back.”
“It’s my Papaw’s favorite restaurant. He doesn’t enjoy going out to eat much because he claims no one cooks better than my Gigi, so why go out to a subpar place?
This right here is one of the only places he makes an exception for,” I tell her while thinking back to the first time we all came here for dinner when we were kids.
“Sounds like your Papaw is a smart man.”
I beam with pride at her words as I steal a bite from her plate. “He sure is. I swear that man knows how to fix or build just about anything and everything. And if he doesn’t know, he’s sure as shit going to learn how to real quick.”
She laughs. “Oh, man, I need to meet him.”
“He’s a tough nut to crack, but he’s always told me I’m his favorite,” I brag and accentuate the notion by brushing off invisible dirt from my shoulder.
“I can see why.” A soft smile curves her lips.
“Nah, it’s probably cause I'm always the one to go out and tinker with him.”
I don’t tell the truth as to why I volunteer to help out. Why I like to keep myself distracted by occupying my free time with chores. The ranch holds too many emotions for me that I choose to ignore with mindless tinkering and projects.
But would I have told Shay the truth…
She knows more about my feelings of loss and guilt than my own brother. She’s the person I’d want to share all my secrets with.
I can’t help but wonder if things can ever go back to the way they were before her confession this morning.
Do I want them to?
Realizing I’ve been lost in thought for a moment, I clear my throat.
“Sorry about that. Please excuse me for a sec. I gotta use the bathroom.”
She waves me off and continues breaking off pieces of bread and dipping it into the sauce on her plate. Noticing the way her eyes close as she savors the taste.
I need to get my head on straight…
Peyton
The date has been great so far, but I’ve been in my head about Maverick since last night, so his sudden distance and need to go to the bathroom doesn’t help my nerves.
As I sit here, I recall the email that came through before our date, trying to let the memory calm my nerves.
Okay, I officially started your lore backlist. After practice a couple of nights ago, I laid in my bed eating ramen and took a little trip to Stars Hollow.
I’m not sure if it’s the gut feeling I have about Maverick and Shay or what, but suddenly, I feel the need to know if it’s him in the emails or not.
I take a sip of my water as Maverick rejoins me from the bathroom.
“We should have another movie night and watch Jerry McGuire,” I say while I still have the nerve.
His eyebrows pinch at first, and I’m not sure if it’s because my statement was so random, or if it’s because he has no clue what I’m talking about.
His face morphs into a smile. “Is this your way of getting me to cuddle again?”
I smirk because, prior to last night, I’ve been thinking of doing a lot more than snuggling when I picture another movie night date with him.
“Maybe…” I answer. His response didn’t give me much, so I push for more.
“So, are you enjoying Rory and Lorelei?’
Maverick’s head tilts, and this time, I can tell he truly has no clue what I’m talking about. Sadness hits me, and I realize how much I wanted it to be him in those emails.
I shake my head, realizing I need to clarify who Rory and Lorelei are. “Sorry, I forgot I haven’t talked you into watching that show yet.”
His face softens. “Oh, what show is it?”
“Gilmore Girls.” I laugh nervously.
“I’ll have to add it to the list then.” He smiles. “Now you’ve got me wanting to rewatch Jerry McGuire. It’s been a while.”
I try focusing on what he’s saying, but I can’t help but wonder who I’ve been emailing the past couple of months.
Realizing I need to respond, I say, “Who doesn’t love 90s Tom Cruise?”
“For sure. My cousin, Graham, made us watch it nonstop.”
Graham. Graham Leblanc. Tight end for the New Orleans Phantoms.
Could it be?
I recall what I know about the person from the emails.
Shit, it totally could be him. But why? Why would he take the time to email me constantly? He’s a big professional athlete now.
“Want some dessert?” Maverick asks.
“Sure.” I smile, reminding myself that him not being the secret emailer doesn’t change anything.
The way he was looking at Shay on his bed last night does, though.
“Are you a cheesecake or tiramisu kinda girl?”
“Cheesecake, for sure.”
“Thank God. I was going to suffer through the coffee-tasting stuff if not.”
His disgusted face makes me laugh. “Well, maybe I don’t want to share with you anyway.”
Mav’s face is adorable as he says, “Oh yeah. I shouldn’t have assumed. We can both get…”
“I’m totally kidding. Tonight, at least. I’m too full,” I insist as I hold my hand up, stopping him.
The server walks up about that time, and he orders for us.
Thirty minutes later, we’re both full and heading to the Tahoe.
“That was my first real date…in years,” I admit, smiling at the thought.
“Mine too,” he confesses, surprising me.
“Really?”
“Yep, and it was well worth the wait,” he says, making me melt until something catches his eye on the other side of his Tahoe.
Long blonde hair, and I know exactly who he thinks it is, but as the person turns, I don’t recognize her. Maverick quickly regains his composure and opens the door for me.
My stomach drops, replaying the look on his face as he walks around to his side. It wasn’t like he was checking her out; it was more a look of concern, thinking it was her.
I don’t even know if he realizes the way she affects him.
We ride in silence for the few minutes to my place. As we pull into the parking spot, I know I need to get this off my chest before he asks to come upstairs with me.
“Maverick, can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He smiles tentatively as he puts his Tahoe in park.
“What’s the deal between you and Shay?”
Maverick flinches, and then answers a little too quickly. “We’re just friends.”
“Are you sure about that?” I press, biting the inside of my lip.
His chin falls to his chest, and he tugs on the longer strands of his hair. “We are just friends, but there was a long time when I wanted us to be more.”
That’s what I figured.
“And you don’t anymore?”
He looks to me and back to the steering wheel. “I don’t know. I didn’t think so. But I don’t know, Peyton,” he confesses as he turns toward me. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was moving on, moving on with you. The beautiful girl who made me want more.”
His last words make my stomach twist.
“I appreciate your honesty. But I think you really need to analyze what you want before we hang out any more.”
His face looks even more defeated than it did a few minutes ago. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I never meant to drag you into something so complicated.”
Reaching over, I squeeze his forearm, knowing he’d never want to hurt anyone. “You didn’t drag me anywhere, Mav. I fell right into it. And before I fall any harder, I need you to dig deep and truly decide what you want. I can’t be second best. That’s not fair.”
He shakes his head vigorously. “It’s not like that. You’re perfect. There’s just so much history and years’ worth of feelings.” He lets out a deep sigh. “It’s just complicated. So fucking complicated, and I’m sorry for that.”
I hold back the tears that want to spill, frustrated with myself for getting into this situation.
“It’s okay. We both need some rest, and we can talk tomorrow.”
“Peyton...”
I turn back around to face him, taking in the apology written all over his handsome face.
“Thank you for our date. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.”
I did before I let myself accept the reality.
The guy I’m falling for is definitely in love with someone else.