Chapter Twenty
Twenty
“Hey, you got a minute?” Bellamy asks after we finish up our dish duty from roomie breakfast this morning.
“For you…? Always. What’s up, Amy?” I throw my arm around her shoulder.
She smirks up at me, a mix of playfulness and worry on her face. “I wanted to check on you. Maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like you may have gotten yourself into a sticky situation.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, even though I have a hint of what she means. I saw her face last night when she walked into my bedroom.
“Don’t play dumb, loverboy. You’ve got one girl staring at you with heart eyes while you skate around your boy aquarium and another on your bed a couple hours later.”
Her quick recap of my night has memories flooding back.
I was excited to see Peyton at the game, but I’d be lying if I said the moment between me and Shay in my room wasn’t a prominent reminder of the deep connection I have with her.
I’ve tried pushing those thoughts aside since I walked out of my room last night.
Focusing on the date I’ve been looking forward to ever since Peyton said yes.
I shake my head, all my conflicting thoughts coming to the forefront. “Yeah, I’m not sure how I got here.”
“What exactly is…here?” Bellamy asks, raising her eyebrows.
I tug on the top of my hair and lean against the kitchen island. “Where I feel like the girl I’ve wanted for so long is finally seeing me as more than a friend, but now I have this other amazing girl, who’s crowding my thoughts and has me wanting to take her on dates.”
“Do you think Shay breaking up with Jordan is what finally opened her eyes?”
I stand up straight, my breath catching. “Wait, what?”
Her eyebrows pinch together, head rearing back. “You didn’t know?”
“She broke up with him?” I ask incredulously.
“Yeah, Darby told me last night. Apparently, yesterday before the scrimmage. I just assumed she told you last night when y’all were having your…moment.”
I shake my head, still stunned by this information. “No, she didn’t say anything.”
And I have a feeling as to why she didn’t. Last night was the deepest I’ve ever gotten with anyone, even my twin, when it comes to Jules, and I’m sure Shay could pick up on that.
I close my eyes, even more confused by what all this means.
“What do you want, Maverick? Take everyone else’s feelings out of it.”
I pull my lips in, considering her questions, but my mind is reeling.
“I have a date tonight. My first real date in years.”
“With Peyton, I’m guessing.”
Releasing a heavy breath, I nod.
She smiles. “That sounds fun. You should go, have a good time, and then take the time to consider what you want. But I do think you should decide, because I don’t want anyone to get hurt, especially you.”
The thought of hurting either of them sours my stomach.
Bellamy nudges me gently with her elbow. “Hey, it’ll all work itself out. If anyone can attest to that, it's me.”
I smile at that. I know first-hand the obstacles that she and my brother had to overcome to be together.
Once Bellamy’s gone, I reach for my phone on the kitchen table. There’s no way I’ll be able to give my full attention to Peyton tonight without talking to Shay first. I want to hear it from her why she broke up with Jordan. I need to know.
Me
Are you busy?
Shay
Just got out of morning practice. What’s up?
Me
Did you and Jordan break up?
Shay
Can we talk?
Shay
In person.
Shay
I knock on the door of The Wolves Den. When Maverick agreed to talk in person, I knew I wanted to do it in his territory so I could say my piece and leave.
“What’s up, Shay?” Cash greets as he opens the door.
“Nothing much, just coming by to see Mav for a few,” I say, trying to act as casual as I have any other time I’ve stopped by to see my friend over the past few years.
“He’ll be right down. How’s Joey?”
I smile, the mention of my brother easing some of the nerves I’m feeling. “He’s doing really good. Already asking when we can go out to the ranch again.”
Cash chuckles. “That’s a good sign. And you know y’all are welcome any time.”
Footsteps descend the stairs, and my heart thuds uncontrollably. I’m more nervous thinking about this conversation than my first game of the season tomorrow, and that says a lot.
“Thank you, I’ll get him out there soon.” I smile at Cash before my attention turns toward the stairs.
“Hey, Little Moore.” He smiles, and my heart races for a whole other reason. His perfect white smile, dark-brown eyes, and strong jawline suck me in. Just like the first time I saw him. If I had thought he really wanted me back then, I never would’ve given Jordan the time of day.
“Come on.” He waves for me to follow him.
And just like that, I’m headed back to his room for the second time in twenty-four hours.
There’s no way I was going to make last night about anything but Jules and what Maverick needed in that moment, but when he texted me earlier after catching wind of me and Jordan breaking up, I knew I had to explain myself.
I tossed and turned all night, thinking about him. Convincing myself I owe it to him to tell him everything. Remembering his words of regret that he whispered in my room last month.
I don’t want our story to end in regret.
“You okay?” Maverick asks as soon as we walk into his room.
I nod, taking a shaky breath. “Yeah, I’m good.”
His eyes trace my face. “So the breakup… Was it… Was it a mutual thing?”
I shake my head. “No, it was my decision.”
His eyes don’t leave mine as he asks, “What happened?”
Shrugging, I say, “I just realized some things. Plus, it kinda helped when he admitted to cheating on me while I was breaking up with him.”
“He what?” he nearly growls.
“Yep.” I pull my lips in and shake my head.
He sits down on his bed, his fists clenched at his sides. “Fuck, Shay, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just made it even easier to walk away,” I say as I sit beside him.
“I’m proud of you,” Mav confesses, giving me a reassuring smile.
“He’s self-centered and not the right person for me. I just hate it took me so long to figure it out.”
“Yeah…” he whispers, and it’s almost like he stops himself from saying more.
I desperately wish he would.
“I wanted to tell you this in person because…” I pause, trying to articulate my words. “Because Maverick, I wish we could rewind time too. He never would’ve had a chance if I knew you really wanted one back then.”
His lips part in surprise. “How long have you known I’ve felt like that?”
“I was awake that night you said it in my room, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”
He doesn’t say anything, just stares at me.
“And it’s not just that. It’s so much more, Mav.
You’re so much more to me. I tucked you away firmly in the friendzone because I knew it was dangerous to leave the thoughts I had of you from the very beginning anywhere else.
But even as my friend, you’ve shown me what I deserve.
What I want…” I take a deep breath and say what I came here to say. “And I want you.”
His body physically slumps in defeat, and I second-guess myself for laying this all on him.
“Shay, I’ve waited so long to hear you say these things…”
“But?” I push the question past my lips as dread floods my veins.
“But…” He stands and walks to the other side of his room, pulling at his hair.
“It’s her, isn’t it?” I whisper.
He looks at me, almost devastated, and nods. My heart drops into my stomach, and I suck in a breath.
Taking another deep breath, I push the words out, the ones I need to say, even if they pain me. “I figured that, and I understand, Maverick. It hurts, but I get it. She’s a great girl. I did this to myself. Not you. Not her.”
“Shay, I’m taking her on a date tonight. After all this time, I’ve finally let myself feel something for someone else.”
I didn’t think my heart could ache any more than it already does. My throat clogs with emotion.
He shakes his head. “How is this happening right now?”
I feel like shit for putting him in this position.
Walking over to him, I gently tip his chin up, so his eyes meet mine. “Look at me… It’s okay.” I swallow again, holding back emotion. “Go on your date tonight. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it, Mav. Truly, I mean that. No one deserves it more than you.”
“Shay, I—” he starts and stops again. I can see his mind warring with itself as his eyes bounce back and forth between my own.
I take his hands in mine. “We’re going to be okay either way.
I can’t imagine my life without you, no matter what that looks like.
I promise. Okay?” I reassure him, but the words taste bitter, and I question whether I’m as good of a person as he is, because I’m not sure I believe myself right now.
How would I ever be able to watch him with another woman the way he’s had to watch me with Jordan?
He simply nods.
“I just knew I owed it to both of us to tell you.”
“Thank you,” he says on an exhale.
I try to think of something that I know will reassure him more about where we stand.
Clearing my throat, I try to lighten the subject. “Joey’s driving me crazy to get back out to the ranch, even if it's just for a visit. So let me know next time you’re going to spend some time there.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes like it normally would. “Yes, I’d love that. Will he be at your scrimmage Monday night?”
I nod, a hint of excitement coursing through me. Is he planning to come too?
“Yes, as long as he’s feeling up to it. Mom plans to bring him.”
“Good, I’ll see him there.”
Mav will be there, like he always has been when his schedule allows for it…as my friend.
“I’m going to go,” I say as I make my way toward his door, feeling awkward for the first time ever in Maverick’s presence.
“Shay…” My name sounds like a plea on his lips, and I can’t help the hope that lights inside me.
“Yeah?” I turn toward him.
He hesitates for a second, then sadness covers his features. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. Have fun tonight.”
And maybe I’m a terrible person for it, but I know I don’t truly mean it.
I smile and leave before the overwhelming sadness gets the best of me.
I fear I may be too late.
Why does it feel like my world is coming crashing down right now?
Did he forget about our pep talk…our yearly tradition?
I can't help but hold on to the hope that he’ll text me later right before bed, like he’s done every year before my first game.
Freshman Year- The Night Before Shay’s First Game
I know I need to give my body a break, but instead, I keep running. I just want the anxious thoughts to stop.
What if I suck tomorrow?
What if I don’t live up to everyone’s expectations of me?
What if I never see a day in the WNBA? My lifelong dream.
What if I let my teammates down?
Motion to my left startles me. Realizing it's Maverick, I stretch my legs out to the sides of the treadmill, straddle the moving belt, and take out my earbuds. Before I can get a word out, he’s asking, “Why are you here so late?”
I raise an eyebrow and breathlessly respond, “Says the guy who’s also here.”
He rolls his eyes at me. “I forgot something in the locker room, and when I walked by the weight room door, I saw blonde hair, and then noticed it was you.”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes. “Of course, you noticed the blonde hair.”
“Semantics… So why are you here, Little Moore?”
I shrug. “Needed a distraction.”
His eyebrows pinch together. “You good?”
I hesitate, but the genuine concern in his voice has me opening up. “Yeah, just first-game nerves.”
He nods to the bench across from the treadmills. “Come on, take a break with me.”
Knowing I need the break, I listen and follow him.
“Tomorrow’s a scrimmage, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, but it’s a huge deal. It’s basically an annual pre-season rival game. The seniors said whoever wins this game always has the winning season.”
“Well, first off, you know that’s probably not always true. I mean, these games are planned super early compared to your regular season. A lot can change before then.”
“I know, but it feels like they are depending on me to make it happen.”
“Do you realize how much that says about you and your talent? Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s a lot of pressure, trust me. But they see something in you that they may not even see in themselves. You have that thing that makes the greats great.”
“Oh yeah… what’s that?” I ask, in awe of him and his confidence in me.
“Raw athleticism, grit, tenacity, heart, leadership. You’ve got it all, babe.
That’s what made you a top D1 pick. I have no doubt in my mind, you’ll win tomorrow.
No doubt, you’ll take them to a national championship at least once while you’re here.
And no doubt, little girls will be repping your last name on a WNBA jersey one day. ”
I let his words wash over me, believing every one of them because I can physically feel how much he believes them.
“Shay Moore, you’re a legend in the making. Never forget that.”
Unable to contain the smile on my face, I thank him.
“No need to thank me. It’s the truth, and I’ll remind you of that whenever you need me to.”