Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Austin
We had made it safely to the main highway, the roads relatively clear. The just-above-freezing temperatures helped.
Much as I wasn’t a fan, I’d offered to drive, figuring it would be easier since we were headed to my home, and Randall took me up on it after I assured him I didn’t mind driving every once in a while.
I assumed he’d want time to get caught up with work, and our marathon shower hadn’t really left time for much else before we’d packed up and finally left Randall’s snow globe cabin.
“I just never thought I needed a car up at school. I never had a reason to venture far from campus before.” I smiled, my head in his direction as I backed out of his garage. A clump of snow caused us both to jump and caused me to pull my eyes back to the driveway.
Randall pulled out his phone as soon as we were on the main road.
“That wasn’t too bad,” I said, trying to hide the tension I’d felt on the more remote mountain roads near Randall’s house. “And the view down the mountain from your house in the daytime is stunning. I mean, everything about your home is stunning. I see why you picked it.”
He nodded distractedly. I glanced at the phone in Randall’s hand and guessed. “Checking in with work.”
“Sorry," he said quickly, lifting himself up to pocket his phone. “Just skimming my email.” My eyes darted down at the movement, and I reached out to stop him.
“Yeah, of course you are. I’ve kept you fairly busy the last few days.” My eyes were back on the road, but I could sense him looking at me. I was rewarded with his smile and his eyebrow shooting up above the thick frame of his glasses when I risked another quick glance his way.
“Please don’t stop,” I insisted. “Only, I think I should check in at home now that we're really on the road and can confirm that the highway has been plowed. I won’t stay on the phone long. But I waited to let them know we were leaving in case it was a shitshow out here, and we had to turn around.”
“Oh. Right. Yes, of course.” Randall fluttered.
Could he tell from my voice how much I wished it had been a shitshow, and that we’d had to turn around?
Randall had offered to let me sync my phone to his car, insisting that the driver should pick what we listened to.
I threw on a holiday playlist I’d put together when I thought my dad was coming to pick me up.
Randall may have rolled his eyes at me when he heard those jingle bells.
The music muted itself as I hit a button on the steering wheel.
“Call Dad,” I instructed. The phone was ringing moments later, and Dad’s voice was booming through the car a moment after that.
“Austin! Hey, kiddo, how’s it going? Are you guys ever going to be able to get on the road? Have you been behaving at Randy's? Not leaving shit all over the place, are you, because …”
“Dad! Hi! I’m here, in the car, on speaker, with Randall.”
I snuck a quick peek at the man himself and mouthed the word, “Randy,” as my dad said, “Hey, Randy, how are you two making out?” I couldn’t help myself. I hit the mute button for a quick second and spoke. “I wish we were making out.”
Randall began to chastise me—“Austin”—but I shushed him and unmuted the call.
“We just made it onto the highway. The back roads are plowed but not perfect. The highway is a little better. We’re slow and steady, not a lot of traffic, which helps. How is it down your way?”
“Well, you know we didn’t get that second storm …
” We could hear my mother talking in the background but couldn’t make out what she was saying.
Dad responded to her. “Yeah, it’s Aus and Randy.
They’re on their way … I don’t know, we haven't gotten that far yet.” And then to us, “Any idea how long you’ll be? ”
“GPS says a little over five and a half hours.”
“That’s good. Not too much longer than usual.
But seriously, how did you guys survive being stuck alone for two days?
Did my son have his nose in a book the whole time, like he does at home?
Always studying. Did he tell you he’s going to be a doctor, Randy?
” my dad asked with pride, and I could sense Randall tensing up next to me.
He didn’t respond, and my dad filled the void. “He reads books, taps on his phone, and leaves his clothes all over the bathroom floor. So my apologies in advance that you’ll be sharing a bathroom with him when you get here. Did you pick up after yourself at my friend’s house, son?”
I really didn’t want my tone to switch to whiny son, and I know my dad thought he was being funny and, in a roundabout way, thanking Randall for being saddled with me unexpectedly, but he was being really cringey.
I could have handled that except that with every word, I could feel Randall’s energy tighten.
I kept my eyes on the road as I responded, my “Dad” coming out like I was a teenager again, and Dad was saying stupid shit to my first boyfriend about being a gentleman.
“What?” He laughed. “It’s true. Clothes and books everywhere.”
Randall cleared his throat. “Your son”—I could hear him trip on the word “son”—“was a perfect gentleman. No clothes on the floor …”
Except when you were tearing them off me, I thought, and I couldn’t help but glance at Randall then and raise my eyebrows. Based on the flush of his cheeks, I thought that maybe he was thinking the same thing. I mouthed the word parfect in hopes of lightening the mood.
I snapped my eyes forward once again as Randall continued talking about me to my dad.
“He helped cook and cleared the table and …” Yup, that’s all we did, cook and clean and …
I decided it was time to wrap up our conversation.
“Hey, Randy,” I tried the name on for size and hated it. “Don’t give away the whole story. We’ll see you guys in a few hours, Dad, and give you the complete rundown. Not to make you too envious or anything, but popcorn and Marvel movies may make an appearance.”
“Okay, okay. I can’t wait to see you both.” My dad’s excited tone was so genuine, and I knew at that moment what it meant for him to have his old friend back. All I could do was hope he could handle the secrets Randall had to tell.
“Yeah, Dad. Us, too,” I said without thinking as if there was an “us” that I was authorized to speak for.
“We’ll check in if we run into any trouble or delays. Otherwise, I’ll call when we’re heading over the bridge, like we usually do.”
“Okay, kiddo. See you soon. Love you, son.”
“Love you too, Dad. Same to Mom.”
“Will do, kiddo. See you soon, Randy.”
“Yeah,” was his terse reply, though if I didn’t already know his verbal cues, I could see how someone might think it was the British accent coming through. “We’ll see you soon.” At least he was speaking for both of us as well.
I hit the button on the steering wheel, and Randall and I were once again alone.
He’d been holding his phone, and I expected he would take it up to get back to work.
Instead, from the corner of my eye I sensed him lay it in his lap as he sighed and leaned his head back on the headrest. I really wished I didn’t have to hear that sigh, and my brain churned to think how I could make it better.
“Austin.”
“I know, babe.”
“No, you don’t. I don’t think I can go through with this. They’re your parents, for God’s sake. They’re my friends.”
“Randall.”
“I know I chose to isolate myself when I moved here. I started out in Boston, which I hated, and I may have gone overboard in the opposite direction, buying that remote house.”
“Your home is a dream, Randall.”
“But when I got back to the States, I was a mess. I’d not really dealt with my breakup.
I planned my way out of my relationship, but that was just the logistics, not the emotions.
Everything was organized and orderly and neat.
” He spat out the last word as if it was something to be ashamed of and not everything that I loved about him.
Well, fuck, I’d met a man two days ago, and I was already prepared to defend the thing I loved about him. The thing I loved about Randall. I loved Randall.
My head knew it was too soon, but my heart was busy telling that organ to shut the fuck up as I assured Randall, “You did what you had to do, babe. You walked away from that asshole with your dignity. You walked into a huge deal for your company, and that also happened to be an opportunity to bring the work you love back home to the States. Working for New Day fucking Tech, no less. One of the biggest computer technology companies in the world.”
“My family doesn’t know I’m here. My friends didn’t know I was here.”
“You left your family in the Midwest for a reason, and you left my parents for a reason too. You dealt with your trauma in your own way, without adding to it when you came home. I get that.”
“And what is all this if not trauma?” Without taking my eyes from the road, I could tell he was waving a hand between us.
That hurt a little to hear. I was thinking about falling in love, and he was describing our time together as trauma. I took a beat to center my emotions and looked at Randall, who was wide-eyed as if he’d surprised himself with his outburst.
“I’d like to think of it more as drama than trauma,” I said.
“You have your past, a husband, a crush, a homophobic family. But that’s not all you are, and you don’t have to let those things define you.
You can have a future, too, Randall. Whether that’s you alone in that perfectly romantic setting, or out here, in the messy, messy world. ”
“I hate a mess, Austin,” he said plainly, though I knew that was him baring his soul. I didn’t hesitate in my response, reaching a hand out to him without looking at him and hoping he would grab it. He did, lacing our fingers together and placing them on his thigh. I gave him a little squeeze.
“Yeah, well, if you haven’t noticed, I really love helping you clean them up.”
“This won’t be easy.”
“No, it most certainly will not.”
“Your parents are going to hate me.”