Chapter Twenty
“THANKS SO MUCH FOR WALKING LYDIA HOME, AUDREY,” Holly said Monday, two days after the wedding and those hungry, heated kisses that came later. “I meant to text you and tell you I could pick her up but somehow the afternoon got away from me.”
While she had expected to have a slow day on this, her last full day in the store before the holidays, instead she had received several last-minute orders for holiday centerpieces and hostess gifts. At least the store had been fully staffed so she hadn’t been on her own.
“It’s no problem,” Audrey assured her. “I was planning on it.”
“No more school for two weeks, Mommy!”
“That’s what I hear.”
Lydia’s bubbly excitement was contagious and Holly shared a smile with Audrey.
“You don’t have to stay and watch her, though. Ginger is coming back to close up after she finishes a couple of deliveries. I was thinking I would try to take off early, with the storm coming and also the party at the Shelter Inn. Are you and your uncle coming to that?”
She tried to ask the question casually, as if it didn’t matter to her what Ryan did or did not do.
Ha. She hadn’t stopped thinking about the man since he had walked out of her house the other night, leaving her aching and needy and hopelessly in love.
The annual holiday potluck party had begun after an emergency a few years earlier, when an intense lake-effect blizzard shut down traffic throughout the area, trapping the senior citizens who lived at the Shelter Inn away from family celebrations.
Over the past few years, it had evolved into a community event that drew more than a hundred people. More than that, counting the residents of the retirement community.
“We’re probably not going to make it this year.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.”
Holly told herself she had no reason to be disappointed. After two sleepless nights, she had determined her best course of action was to move forward with her life and put this strange chapter behind her.
“Yeah. I’ll be sad to miss it.” Audrey gave her a sudden impish smile. “But I’m not sure my mom will feel up to a big party.”
She stared as the words sank in. “Your mom? Is she back?”
Audrey grinned. “Not yet, but she’s on her way. Uncle Ryan went to pick her up in Boise. They’re supposed to be here in about an hour. I was hoping I could go home early so I can try to make something for dinner. I’m sure she won’t feel like going anywhere, her first night back.”
Holly felt a strange mix of emotions. She was thrilled that Kim would be able to return to join her daughter for the holidays at the same time she felt a hollow ache deep inside, knowing that meant Ryan’s time here in Shelter Springs would be coming to an end.
“Let me take you dinner. I made two huge slow cookers of pasta e fagioli soup to share at the potluck. I can easily drop some off for you on my way to the Shelter Inn tonight.”
“That would be great!” Audrey exclaimed. “You know my mom loves your pasta e fagioli soup. She talks about it all the time. Are you sure, though? You made it for the party.”
“Positive. It is the least I can do. Seriously. Your uncle was a lifesaver at the wedding on Saturday.”
She didn’t want to think about what had happened at her house after the reception—or what hadn’t happened.
“Did you guys have fun? I asked Uncle Ryan but it seemed like he really didn’t want to talk about it. I wondered if maybe he’s not a very good dancer, especially with his bad knee.”
“He’s a wonderful dancer.”
And kisser.
And man.
Her throat felt tight and achy as she contemplated how empty her world would feel after he left Shelter Springs, but she forced a smile.
“I’ll drop off a container of soup on my way to the Shelter Inn. I even have breadsticks to go with it.”
“I love breadsticks,” Lydia said, pulling off her snow boots and plopping them onto the floor of the shop willy-nilly.
“I know you do, Bug. That’s why I made them for you. Now move your boots and your backpack to the break room so someone doesn’t trip over them, then grab a snack, okay?”
Her daughter obediently scooped everything up and trotted to the back.
“If you’re sure you don’t mind, soup and breadsticks sounds delicious. Thank you.”
“Thank you , Audrey. You have been amazing this holiday season. I know our plan was for you to babysit only for a month to earn extra cash for your mom’s Christmas gift, but if you want to stay on after the holidays, let me know.
We could even work out a schedule for you to come one or two days a week so you don’t miss out on homework time or hanging out with friends. ”
“I would like that.”
She checked her watch. “I’m sure you’re in a rush to be home, but if you want to wait for twenty minutes or so until I finish this arrangement, I can drop you off on our way to deliver it. I have to go right past your house.”
“That would be great, as long as I’m there before Uncle Ryan and Mom show up. I wanted to turn on all the tree lights and the outside decorations to welcome her home. Mom is going to be so happy with the way you helped us decorate for Christmas.”
“I hope so.”
She also hoped Kim had found what she needed to deal with some of her demons. She had missed the other woman’s help at the store these past few weeks. More than that, she had missed her friend.
While Audrey and Lydia watched a YouTube video in the break room, Holly hurried to finish the arrangement. She was tucking in the last spray of baby’s breath when Ginger walked through the employee entrance.
“How did the deliveries go?”
“Good, except I have one for someone who wasn’t home. I figured I would check again on my way home after I close.”
“Thanks for closing for me today.”
“You’ve put in so many long days this month, I wish you could take the whole month of January off.”
“Wouldn’t that be lovely?” Holly said as she tucked the card into the arrangement.
“Are you sure you still want to close early tomorrow?”
“Yes. If people haven’t purchased all the flowers they need before three p.m. on Christmas Eve, they don’t deserve my flowers anyway.”
With Ginger set to close the store, Holly poked her head into the break room to speak with Audrey and Lydia. “Okay. I’m ready to go.”
“Guess we’ll have to finish the show another time, kiddo,” Audrey said.
Holly helped her daughter into her coat and boots, cleaned up the snack debris and then ushered both girls out to her SUV.
The lake gleamed in the sunshine, reflecting the majestic snow-covered mountains as she drove the short distance to Kim’s house.
Audrey hopped out. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem. I’ll swing by later with dinner.”
“I wonder if my mom would like some Christmas cookies.”
“I’m sure she would.”
“I have a pretty good peanut butter cookie recipe, the kind where you press a chocolate candy in the middle. Mom loves those. And I bet Uncle Ryan does, too.”
By some miracle, Holly had spent several moments without thinking of him but now memories of their kiss crowded back.
She likely would see him later when she dropped off the food, a prospect that almost made her wish she had never suggested it.
Maybe she could drop the food off on the porch, ring the doorbell and run.
With any luck, Audrey or Kim would meet her at the door and she wouldn’t even have to talk to Ryan.
Somehow she doubted the likelihood of that.
“I KNOW I already told you this but it bears repeating. You look great, Kim,” Ryan commented to his sister as he drove the route from Boise to Shelter Springs.
He meant the words. She had cut her hair since he had seen her last, when she had visited him in San Diego after his accident.
She had started to regain weight and no longer looked thin to the point of gaunt.
Most obviously, her eyes seemed to reflect an inner light again, something he hadn’t realized was missing until it was back.
She smiled, though he didn’t miss the way her fingers twisted together on her lap. “I’m not sure about looking good but I certainly feel better than I did a month ago.”
“I’m glad.”
“It’s amazing how much peace you can find after a few weeks of decent food, sleep and therapy. And no booze or pills. I was more than ready for a reset—I just couldn’t admit it to myself until the accident.”
“Sometimes it takes something drastic to provide clarity.”
“That’s what my therapist said. I only wish I could have found my way to this place without Diane having to pay the price.”
“How are the cravings?”
“Still there. I know they always will be. I’m an addict.
I was an addict at fifteen when it was vodka I stole out of Dad’s liquor cabinet and I was an addict at boarding school when I started with first marijuana and then the harder stuff.
I thought I had put that world behind me after Audrey came along. ”
“You did.”
“Not permanently, apparently. I traded one addiction for another. But I want to fix my life more than I want to take a pill and forget now.”
“I’m so proud of all your hard work. I know what a huge sacrifice it’s been but you’ve made amazing progress.”
She acknowledged his words with a smile. “I only wish I could have found a way to go through the program without leaving Audrey for a month.”
“I believe she will be the first to tell you it was worth it, especially if she can have her mom back.”
They were silent for a few moments as the mileposts passed by. Finally, Kim spoke in a small voice. “Do you think Audrey will eventually be able to forgive me?”
He had the feeling Kim had been stewing about that question for longer than the past few moments.
“There’s nothing to forgive. She knows everything you did was for her. She might be only thirteen but Audrey is remarkably wise for her age. That’s because of you, sis.”
She didn’t look as if she completely believed him but she nodded and gazed out the windshield at the passing landscape.
“What about you? I dragged you away from everything you had going in your life so you could bail me out. Has it been horrible?”